I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]

[rassera]

WHO: The residents of Nonah 05 + YOU!
WHERE: Nonah, Residence #005
WHEN: All month long (January)
WHAT: Nonah 05 open log for January Shenanigans
WARNINGS: Obligatory Bull and Tetsuo warnings apply.


Starters will be appearing in the comments. If you want something specific from any one person (Kaneda rassera, Tetsuo iamtetsuo, Bull rideme and Ken amadaman), feel free to drop them a line and ask! Otherwise, feel free to add your own starters for the whole household or individual residents as you like.

Comments

[deadtective]

With a three person friend cap, you really think I wouldn't have a pet? I'm surprised it's just the one, honestly.

[missleadingquestions]

I didn't have a pet before I started making friends! I'm jealous.

Although... I guess I kinda just got a dog.

[deadtective]

I was working on a lifetime pet ban in my other world, so. [she shrugs expansively] Beats the shit out of being fucking social, I'll tell you what.

Good on you for finally deciding to take that dog when you make a break for it, though. He deserves to see the world.

[missleadingquestions]

[snicker!]

Noooo! I can't steal Capsule. I'm looking after this little komainu I found.

[deadtective]

[her nose wrinkles gently at the word. ugh, more Japanese. why can't she escape this calligraphy-riddled hell?]

You've got two arms. I'm sure you could nab them both if you worked hard enough for it.

[missleadingquestions]

Yeah, but then who's gonna make sure Kaneda gets exercise and doesn't sleep all day?

Capsule's here to walk him, I'm pretty sure.

[deadtective]

You've seen those setups where you dangle shit just ahead of a treadmill, right? Hook him up to one of those before you go, it's about the same.

[missleadingquestions]

Right, but what kind of bait could I even use? Strawberries, or motorcycle magazines?

[deadtective]

Just write a bunch of bad decisions on note cards and tell him he absolutely can't do them.

[missleadingquestions]

You're good at this.

[deadtective]

I just know what motivates simple people, that's all. It's not that tough.

[missleadingquestions]

Yeah, but when you hang out with simple people all the time, it's easy to forget.

[deadtective]

That's why you gotta keep tricking them into dumber and dumber shit to remind yourself. Just keep falling down that rabbit hole until you hit fucking wonderland.

[missleadingquestions]

I guess that means I'll have to step up my game!

[deadtective]

[she shuts an eye to regard Maya with mock appraisal.]

You've got a lot of steps to jump up. Better get your ass in gear before you're completely left behind!

[missleadingquestions]

Yes, m'am!

[She snaps into a soldier's pose, mock-saluting.]

I'll do my best! Any tips?

[deadtective]

[she crosses her arms over her chest, humming thoughtfully in the back of your throat.]

Think of the stupidest fucking bullshit you possibly can right now. You're gonna need to dip at least twenty miles below that.

[missleadingquestions]

[Maya purse her lips for a second.

Dumber than the dumbest thing she can think of...?

.....Dumber than that?

Aha! She smacks her fist against her hand. Could she possibly have the perfect response?!]

I have no idea.

[deadtective]

And that's why you're the bottom fucking rung of the totem pole.

[she uncrosses her arms again to gently tap the top of Maya's head with a closed hand.]

You've got your work cut out for you if you wanna stay in the business.

[missleadingquestions]

I wouldn't worry too much. I'm a pretty quick learner!

[She's so determined to be dumb as shit for you now, Hazel.]

[deadtective]

Do you know how many times I've heard that? I could buy my own private island if I got paid for listening to that garbage.

[missleadingquestions]

Hey, it's not my fault you listen to people who make bad promises!

Fey's word's a guarantee.

[deadtective]

Enough to shake on it? I take promises seriously, you better be damn committed.

[missleadingquestions]

[She sticks her hand out immediately.]

Swear on my honor.

[deadtective]

Hope you've got more than me, then.

[she takes the hand and gives it a firm shake, grinning all the while. as teasing as her words are, Hazel's not really joking with them.]