maskormenacelogs | person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

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person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

WHO: Mark and whoever
WHERE: Everywhere!! But mostly De Chima and Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Throughout November
WHAT: Catch-all for November with stuff. Hit me up!! Please!!! Open prompts below; PM me if you want something that isn't these things.
WARNINGS: Mark's life sucks; I'll edit this header if any particular suckiness comes up.

1. dog dog dog dog dog dog dog; De Chima/Maurtia Falls
[ In De Chima or in Maurtia Falls, you might find a rather strange sight: a small stocky man walking an enormous stocky dog. This is Mark walking his dog Captain, a scarred and warlike pit bull that pulls at the leash and constantly wags his tail. Mark's expression is still a forbidding glower, but Captain's doggy face is open and bright-eyed and happy; there's no one he doesn't want to make friends with.

And Mark, unfortunately, doesn't know good leash technique, and also (in spite of his own roundness) doesn't outweigh his dog by that much. And so when Captain wants to make friends, Mark is dragged along behind him. And that is why, if you're walking around, you might be approached by a dog trailing a very sour-looking little man who's hissing - ]

No, don't - stop - heel -

2. come make $$$$; Maurtia Falls
[ PKE, LLC, up in Maurtia Falls, is beyond luxurious. The office is appointed with a sort of brushed-steel-and-pine classiness, like it's furnished from the expensive part of Ikea; the receptionist out front is attractive and aloof, and people who are waiting get offered mineral water from glass bottles.

There are any number of reasons that you might have ended up here: you might have received an advertisement in the mail, or a random notification on your phone, or you might have seen the advertising that targets imPorts. All of this advertising will have offered help in investing, getting rich, or opening a new business - generous funding to get everyone a little bit wealthier.

Mark, sitting at his desk, smiles a smile that can generously be described as oily when you're shown in. And he purrs - ]

Please, sit down. Tell me about how you'd like to make money.

3. kicking some grass; De Chima
[ Mark doesn't like to practice where he can be seen. Definitely not. So when he's worked up and anxious, he goes out far away from his family, far away from the people who know him, out into the forests of De Chima. On the unlikely off-chance that your character happens to wander by, they'll be treated to a very strange sight: a small fat man vigorously practicing a judo kata, face miserable, before punching a tree. He turns as soon as he hears them, though, eyes flashing with anger as he snarls - ]

What the hell are you doing here? Go away.

4. fuck it; anywhere
[ Mark's eating ice cream. Come have ice cream. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Rude.

[ Because yeah. Rude. Says the person who's still sitting in the chair in a way that you don't sit in a chair and who just treated the office to unwelcome Chumbawumba, yeah, Mark's the one being rude. He continues talking in an idle tone of voice, tone covering the fact that he's kind of threatening Mark. ]

I hacked into your intercom system, I can hack into your computer and encryptions as well. It's Earth tech, primitive twenty-first century stuff, and I'm certain that weapon of yours marks you as more of a soldier than a technician. [ but a slightly fat soldier...well, sometimes the army's got to take anybody ] I can deal with it if you don't give me a full client list, but at least a list of your qualifications of who PKE, LLC accepts and doesn't accept would do.

Really, this is all just preventative.

[ Mark turns back to his computer as the Doctor talks, and types busily. It takes another ten seconds or so before Mark turns his monitor around. There, on the screen, for the Doctor's perusal, is one of the man's own network posts. He plays the video a moment before hitting the button for it to stop. ]

Don't speculate on who I am. I'm not a soldier or a technician. You don't know who I am. But I do know who you are. Are you going to threaten me again?

Oh, that's a good post, [ the Doctor can't help but muse, as he looks over at the screen. ] And it's this face, you're bound to be confused if you prowl backwards a little further.

[ The problem with being a Time Lord and having to deal with timeshifty events is that surprise, sometimes you don't look like yourself. But as Mark asks his question, the Doctor pushes his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, as he looks over at Mark with something like honest curiosity in his eyes. ]

If I did, what would you do?

[ Yeah, go on, Mark. What? What'll you do? For a moment, morbidly and miserably, he thinks of doing his best Ser Galen impression, leaning in and breathing I'll take you apart, slowly, piece by piece, so that you feel it. But on the other hand, he'd sooner cut his own throat than do a Ser Galen impression. A proper Jacksonian Baron would lay things out coolly, draw up recordings of all of the people who talk to the Doctor regularly on the network, make some suave comments about the low price of a capper compared to the cost of hacking and sabotage. Maybe make some cool intimations about the sorts of things you can do to people who are functionally immortal. But...Mark would also sooner cut his throat than do an impression of a Jacksonian Baron.

He fights the urge to clutch at his hair and moan in despair and anger. Doesn't this guy get it? He has to keep up certain appearances. He has to look calculating and a bit nasty. It's imperative to the well-being of his business - of his family, too - that there's someone who seems dangerous, to counterbalance Miles' friendliness and Cordelia's warmth. Someone people will be afraid of, along with the people they'll like. So he can't just negotiate when he's being threatened. And also: the fact that he's threatening him just makes Mark so furious, and he really can go to hell if he thinks that Mark can just be bullied and intimidated - I've been screwed over by a far higher caliber of asshole than you...

Okay. He grinds his teeth and snaps: ]

I'd break those stupid sunglasses of yours, for a start. Why the shit do you think I owe you anything? I owe loyalty to my clients, not some old man who thinks he's entitled to everything.

[ The small hint of a smile plays on the Doctor's mouth at the response. Well, loyalty is valued. And it's good to see one positive character trait creep out of this whole shebang.

The Doctor pauses before he talks, taking his sonic sunglasses off and shifting in the chair so that he can look Mark directly in the eyes as he says this next bit, still casual, but with a deathly serious undertone. ]

I know I'm not entitled to your list. But I've got a duty of care towards this planet: as long as I'm here, people will be kept safe. And if I find out that you've backed someone who's put innocent people in danger or even worse, who's hurt innocent people, I'll tear apart your company with my bare hands.

[ The Doctor doesn't give a damn about people getting rich for the sake of getting rich. It's depressing, but he can live with that. No, what he cares about are keeping people safe. If he's going to be stuck on this planet, the least he can do is protect it no matter what. He doesn't want to miss the warning signs again. ]

[ No. For a moment there's a tremble of real terror that goes through him. His company...It's the one thing that's really his. He built it himself, with no help at all, not from anyone. No one had given him any start-up money; he'd scammed for those first thousands of dollars. No one had told him to do this. No one had even told him how to do this. Mark hadn't had a single day's worth of financial education before he'd decided to create this, and yet it's succeeded - succeeded wildly - and it keeps his family whole and healthy and fed and safe. It's precious to him, because it's a sign to him that he can succeed on his own merits, in a way that Miles never could. It's a sign that he's his own person.

To have it destroyed -

He wishes in a dizzying wave of aggression that the weapon on the table in front of him was a nerve disruptor instead of a stunner. See how fucking arrogant he'd be then in the split-second he had between realizing what it was and death. His hand twitches towards the stunner, wondering if he can turn the nonlethal weapon deadly just by sheer force of will... ]

Yeah?

[ He croaks that, but his lips pull back from his teeth in a leer that's decidedly unsettling and nasty. ]

Innocent people. Who would those be, exactly?

The humans.

[ said as if that's the most obvious answer in the world. Who does the Doctor care about, he cares about the little people, he cares about the people who get caught up in this nonsense without any way to protect themselves. The power struggle's real and obvious. ]

I don't care about the imPorts. You all can keep on blowing each other up for all I care. But I don't want the people of this world to get hurt on such a scale like Stark's was.

[ Because yeah, the Doctor straight up doesn't believe that people came into the Extremis whatever knowing what they were going to get. Even if they did know, he doesn't believe that Stark would have told them everything, how permanent this was, just how getting powers would change their life...it's like asking a kid what they want for dinner and then agreeing when they say they want chocolate. You don't do that. There need to be oversight. ]

[ A mean little cackle tumbles loose from his mouth. A jeering, malicious sort of ill humor rises in him as he asks: ]

The humans. You think humans are innocent? Are you stupid, naive - or just deluding yourself?

[ And then his grin fades a bit into a less cracked and more self-possessed expression. It is also an angrier expression, though, his gaze hot with hatred. ]

You can't protect shit. You realize that, don't you? What you're proposing is coming in and cleaning up. That's not worth anything to anyone.

[ The Doctor can't help it. He narrows his eyebrows, glaring at Mark with an expression that's equal parts determination and anger. ]

I think the humans are a lot more innocent than the rest of us lot. They don't deserve to be dragged into-- [ our bullshit is almost what he says, but the Doctor responds instead with ] our nonsense.

[ Of course, #notallhumans. But at the same time, this is exactly the sort of thing the Doctor has to deal with back home, protecting humanity from whatever sort of extraterrestrial incursion decides to come in and ruin the lives of people who get caught up in the nonsense by simply existing. ]

Our nonsense?

[ Another laugh, this one a little lower and hollower. Mark's hand clenches on a pen - his right hand, his stunner-firing hand. Making it so that he'll have to drop that pen before he can pick up his weapon. ]

I didn't ask to be dragged into this shit. They're the ones who vote for the assholes who keep building up the war effort. I don't, I didn't, and I'll make as much money as I need to to deal with what they decided.

Yes, our nonsense. What would you call Tony Stark's short-sighted idiocy? Or Persephone causing a ruckus? Or that dragon that just attacked Nonah, that's our nonsense whether you like it or not.

[ The Doctor lets out a small annoyed little groan as he looks over, trying to hope that eventually, maybe, he'll understand. He very deliberately talks with his hands as he does so, pointing at Mark. ]

I can't do anything about the Cold War. I wish I could, trust me, you have no idea how much I wish I could, but I can at least keep tabs on our own.

That doesn't have anything to do with us.

[ Us, clearly, does not refer to imPorts generally. But it's not just I and me now; he's agitated enough to let slip the pronoun that he really has in the back of his head. ]

We haven't ever caused any trouble like that.

[ Ah-ha. Us. So who's Greasy 'Look At Me, I'm Projecting An Image of Self Interest' Mark Vorkosigan thinking about as well? The Doctor can't help but raise an eyebrow before he continues. ]

What, d'you want a gold star? Congratulations! Richie Rich and the rest of his us haven't messed up yet. [ said with heavy, heavy sarcasm. ]

It's got something to do with you because you're an imPort. And, because occasionally accidents happen, especially if you carry around kit from the future on a regular basis. This is just a courtesy call, me making sure that you're not currently causing trouble and, as someone with a bit of influence with the humans, you don't cause trouble.

[ He sets his jaw and demands: ]

And how about the humans who fuck each other over? What do you think of them?

I wish I could do something about that. I really, really, do. I'm the Doctor, it's my job to save people and protect them and if I can stop the humans from mucking things up among themselves then I'll take that chance.

[ But the Doctor's fought in enough wars and worked in enough military organizations to know that's a lot harder than it looks. ]

But I'm not Santa Clause, you know. I can't do everything, especially not when I'm stuck like this. [ Stuck on stupid Earth with the stupid humans without his stupid TARDIS. ] I do what I can and this is what I can.

This is what you can do? This is nothing.

[ His lip curls in a brutal sneer. ]

You want to save a few dozen people from getting burned up in dragon fire? Or make a lot of trouble for Stark, with his few dozen people who, what, got superpowers? While out there, people are being abused and hurt and killed every day. And then you pretend like you're some protector? Some moral authority?

[ He lets loose a laugh. It doesn't sound happy. ]

I could do anything I wanted, right here and right now, from this computer, and there's not a thing you could do about it. You're not just a hypocrite - you're as powerless as the rest of us, too.

At least I'm trying.

[ Because yeah, Mark could do things...but to the best of the Doctor's knowledge, he hasn't. ]

Glass houses, Richie Rich.

This is your version of trying?

[ A steely glint comes into his eye. ]

Coming in here and playing stupid music? Using some weapons-scanning technology?

Coming in here and keeping tabs on you. You're obnoxious but I don't think I've got to worry all that much about you in the long run.

[ That's...a bit of a lie. He's not entirely certain where Mark stands on the scruples level. And he wouldn't be surprised if when something happened, he could trace the paper trail back to Mark. But this is someone who thinks highly of himself, someone who obviously tries to paint a picture of 'look at me, I'm important,' it'll be interesting to see what happens if the Doctor takes a pin to that importance. ]

[ And the response on Mark's face is anger - but not outrage, not offense. Miles, now - that sort of comment would drive his brother/progenitor crazy, enough that Miles would immediately struggle to become someone the Doctor sees as the greatest threat to humanity. The source of Mark's furious spitting defensiveness, on the other hand, wasn't pride; for all his playacting at this puffed-up role, Mark doesn't really even possess any actual pride. Fear, now - fear he has in large amounts; indeed, fear was the root cause of his hostility. Consequently, far from needling Mark further, that comment actually defuses some of his aggression. ]

Then I'm glad I've wasted your time almost as much as you've wasted mine.

[ Well huh. That's an interesting response. The Doctor's used to people with inflated self-egos, who respond with speeches when someone casually deems them unimportant. This...wasn't that.

But the Doctor can't help but give a little smile as Mark complained about wasted time. Wasted time? Obviously not. The Doctor had more questions than he had answers from this visit but his time certainly wasn't wasted. ]

I introduced you to Parliament Funkadelic. No matter what, the time wasn't wasted because of that.

[ Mark settles back in his chair, folding his hands across his belly, and needles the Doctor back as best he knows how: ]

I've already forgotten who they are.

I doubt that, [ the Doctor responds, as he idly reaches into his pocket, puts his sunglasses back on...

and then "Mothership Connection" starts playing over the intercom speakers, thankfully at a reasonable volume this time.

The Doctor is occasionally a petty asshole. ]

[ Mark, in return, sets his jaw and starts the audio playing on his computer at a very high volume. The...effect is slightly ruined by the fact that the audio playing is not music, but rather the audiobook version of a beginning-level economics textbook. It doesn't remotely work to drown out the noise, and turns out more embarrassing than anything else. ]

[ Yeah, the Doctor just keeps that music playing because it's battle of the petty. But occasionally, he picks up snippits of Mark's audio...and huh. The Doctor only knows the bare minimum about economics, but he can understand some of what the audiobook's talking about.

Which again, is weird. ]

Question! Why does the owner of a high-profile company have Intro to Economics on his computer?

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