person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

[jacksonian]

WHO: Mark and whoever
WHERE: Everywhere!! But mostly De Chima and Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Throughout November
WHAT: Catch-all for November with stuff. Hit me up!! Please!!! Open prompts below; PM me if you want something that isn't these things.
WARNINGS: Mark's life sucks; I'll edit this header if any particular suckiness comes up.


1. dog dog dog dog dog dog dog; De Chima/Maurtia Falls
[ In De Chima or in Maurtia Falls, you might find a rather strange sight: a small stocky man walking an enormous stocky dog. This is Mark walking his dog Captain, a scarred and warlike pit bull that pulls at the leash and constantly wags his tail. Mark's expression is still a forbidding glower, but Captain's doggy face is open and bright-eyed and happy; there's no one he doesn't want to make friends with.

And Mark, unfortunately, doesn't know good leash technique, and also (in spite of his own roundness) doesn't outweigh his dog by that much. And so when Captain wants to make friends, Mark is dragged along behind him. And that is why, if you're walking around, you might be approached by a dog trailing a very sour-looking little man who's hissing - ]

No, don't - stop - heel -

2. come make $$$$; Maurtia Falls
[ PKE, LLC, up in Maurtia Falls, is beyond luxurious. The office is appointed with a sort of brushed-steel-and-pine classiness, like it's furnished from the expensive part of Ikea; the receptionist out front is attractive and aloof, and people who are waiting get offered mineral water from glass bottles.

There are any number of reasons that you might have ended up here: you might have received an advertisement in the mail, or a random notification on your phone, or you might have seen the advertising that targets imPorts. All of this advertising will have offered help in investing, getting rich, or opening a new business - generous funding to get everyone a little bit wealthier.

Mark, sitting at his desk, smiles a smile that can generously be described as oily when you're shown in. And he purrs - ]

Please, sit down. Tell me about how you'd like to make money.

3. kicking some grass; De Chima
[ Mark doesn't like to practice where he can be seen. Definitely not. So when he's worked up and anxious, he goes out far away from his family, far away from the people who know him, out into the forests of De Chima. On the unlikely off-chance that your character happens to wander by, they'll be treated to a very strange sight: a small fat man vigorously practicing a judo kata, face miserable, before punching a tree. He turns as soon as he hears them, though, eyes flashing with anger as he snarls - ]

What the hell are you doing here? Go away.

4. fuck it; anywhere
[ Mark's eating ice cream. Come have ice cream. ]

Comments

[jacksonian]

I guess this place is outside your realm of experience, then.

[helpline]

You're right. But mostly because this place shouldn't exist to begin with.

[ The Doctor's 100% serious when he says this, look of concern on his face. ]

[jacksonian]

[ A dissatisfied grunt. ]

So much for being the person who wants to help and defend the people here. Now these people shouldn't even exist?

[helpline]

What? No, I mean this world. It's dangerous. All these timelines, all these anachronisms, it's a miracle that this universe hasn't imploded on itself yet and oddly worrying that it hasn't.

[ Time stuff. There's so much time stuff and time nonsense and anachronism bullshit that how is Time still standing, someone please give that metaphorical concept a drink. ]

Doesn't mean that the people who live here don't deserve to be protected.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark shrugs, fairly indifferent to the implications about time and space. ]

Well, if it hasn't imploded in on itself, then your understanding about what's right and what's wrong in the universe must be a little off.

[helpline]

[ The Doctor's about to go on a rant...but then he stops. ]

Do you care about temporal logistics to begin with, or should I save this rant for later?

[jacksonian]

Probably save it.

[helpline]

It's a pretty good rant, [ said with a little shrug. But he'll save the pretty good rant for people who give a damn because again, pretty good rant, it involves visual aids, let's keep it simple. ]

[jacksonian]

Yeah, well, I don't really care much about the topic. If we've time traveled, then okay, it's not like we had any say in it anyway.

[helpline]

Well, it's more like we've done massive damage to the timeline as a whole but sure, don't care about the topic, I can deal.

[jacksonian]

I haven't done damage to the timeline. I didn't ask to be brought here.

[ This is something of a theme. ]

[helpline]

Right, we're going to have to go on the rant anyway because you don't understand anything about time travel.

[ Sorry Mark, let's kill that egotism with Time Travel 101 ]

Question! Do you know what an anachronism is?

[jacksonian]

Of course I do.

[ ...not really. ]

[helpline]

[ The Doctor gives Mark a look that's pure "sure, Jan" before he continues. ]

An anachronism is something that's out of place in time. Say, a motorcycle in the 1880s or a 1930s Victrola in 2050. People can be anachronisms as well. The timeline can handle a certain amount of anachronisms, that's why everything doesn't collapse the moment someone time travels. But it's like playing Jenga. The more blocks you remove and the more anachronisms you introduce, the closer the tower is to falling.

[ It now occurs to the Doctor that Mark might not know what Jenga is, so he continues talking. ]

Us being here is no fault of our own. I'm sure that half the people here would go back to their home universe given the chance. But here, in this universe, just on this planet, we've got an ever-increasing number of individuals from different universes, from different times, and, again through no fault of our own, with different tech. It should be dangerous. Time should be more damaged than it is, hanging on by only a thread. And yet, things are carrying along like nothing's happened which, again, is weird.

My trying to stop people from messing around with the humans is partly for their safety but also partly to keep Time as together as possible.

[jacksonian]

Maybe it's not time-travel, then.

[ He fiddles with his cufflinks, frowning - but not really out of displeasure that he's been talked down to; rather, it's out of a more general sort of unhappiness. ]

Maybe we're all just robots or whatever after all. Programmed to have fake memories or whatever.

[ They're not brainwashed, he thinks. Having been brainwashed, he feels like he'd recognize it if it happened. But - the other possibility...It certainly could be the case, right? ]

[helpline]

We'd have to be pretty advanced robots in order to bleed. Plus, I'm sure somebody here's got an EMP sort of power. Why program a robot with something to take itself out?

[ The Doctor leans back in the chair further, musing to himself as he thinks. Two of the legs are off of the ground and it's really a miracle that the chair hasn't fallen over backwards. ]

We're not on a spaceship and this isn't VR. The gravity doesn't feel artificial. What other options are there, clones with false memories?

[ said entirely unaware of Mark's entire clone nonsense. ]

[jacksonian]

[ And his face snaps immediately into a very hostile glower, a purer sort of anger than what's come before. Still, he restrains himself, and what he spits at the Doctor is a purely practical - ]

If you're assuming false memories, then why do you have to add cloning on top of it?

[helpline]

[ Well that's confusing. The Doctor can't help but look at Mark with a worried expression on his face as Mark just glares at him. ]

Again, the timeline. If this universe does have cloning technology in the first place, pop us in, clone us, pop us out, clone who was technically created in this timeline continues to exist in the timeline with relatively less damage to the Web of Time.

[ He's still frowning a little, still a bit confused at that sheer anger before the Doctor continues with. ]

Of course, this is all hypothetical.

[jacksonian]

[ He shakes his head stiffly. ]

Except that's not how cloning works.

[helpline]

[ To the Doctor's credit, he doesn't say "nuh UH", mostly because he's interested in why Mark got so angry about the idea of cloning in the first place. ]

How does cloning work then?

[jacksonian]

[ Tersely: ]

A cell is cultivated and grown. It becomes an embryo. That embryo grows into a baby. That baby grows into a person. That's how.

[helpline]

Then how come in films the clones always pop right out of the cloning machine fully grown?

[ said...100% seriously, sorry Mark, this is straight up the Doctor not wanting to let on the fact that he knows more about clones than expected. ]

[jacksonian]

[ Mark's jaw clenches. ]

Because films are fucking stupid? What kind of a question is that?

[helpline]

Spoken like someone who hasn't seen the right kind of films!

[jacksonian]

If the films are about cloning, then they can fucking go burn up in a fire. How many of them have evil clones?