person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

[jacksonian]

WHO: Mark and whoever
WHERE: Everywhere!! But mostly De Chima and Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Throughout November
WHAT: Catch-all for November with stuff. Hit me up!! Please!!! Open prompts below; PM me if you want something that isn't these things.
WARNINGS: Mark's life sucks; I'll edit this header if any particular suckiness comes up.


1. dog dog dog dog dog dog dog; De Chima/Maurtia Falls
[ In De Chima or in Maurtia Falls, you might find a rather strange sight: a small stocky man walking an enormous stocky dog. This is Mark walking his dog Captain, a scarred and warlike pit bull that pulls at the leash and constantly wags his tail. Mark's expression is still a forbidding glower, but Captain's doggy face is open and bright-eyed and happy; there's no one he doesn't want to make friends with.

And Mark, unfortunately, doesn't know good leash technique, and also (in spite of his own roundness) doesn't outweigh his dog by that much. And so when Captain wants to make friends, Mark is dragged along behind him. And that is why, if you're walking around, you might be approached by a dog trailing a very sour-looking little man who's hissing - ]

No, don't - stop - heel -

2. come make $$$$; Maurtia Falls
[ PKE, LLC, up in Maurtia Falls, is beyond luxurious. The office is appointed with a sort of brushed-steel-and-pine classiness, like it's furnished from the expensive part of Ikea; the receptionist out front is attractive and aloof, and people who are waiting get offered mineral water from glass bottles.

There are any number of reasons that you might have ended up here: you might have received an advertisement in the mail, or a random notification on your phone, or you might have seen the advertising that targets imPorts. All of this advertising will have offered help in investing, getting rich, or opening a new business - generous funding to get everyone a little bit wealthier.

Mark, sitting at his desk, smiles a smile that can generously be described as oily when you're shown in. And he purrs - ]

Please, sit down. Tell me about how you'd like to make money.

3. kicking some grass; De Chima
[ Mark doesn't like to practice where he can be seen. Definitely not. So when he's worked up and anxious, he goes out far away from his family, far away from the people who know him, out into the forests of De Chima. On the unlikely off-chance that your character happens to wander by, they'll be treated to a very strange sight: a small fat man vigorously practicing a judo kata, face miserable, before punching a tree. He turns as soon as he hears them, though, eyes flashing with anger as he snarls - ]

What the hell are you doing here? Go away.

4. fuck it; anywhere
[ Mark's eating ice cream. Come have ice cream. ]

Comments

[helpline]

Yeah, 'any' world, but which world are we using as a baseline?

[ said with a hint of curiosity. Because depending on some of the worlds the Doctor knows, that's...not saying much. ]

[jacksonian]

[ Even more firmly: ]

There isn't any baseline. They're the best in the Nexus. Or on Earth. Or on any planet you've been to.

[ Then, abruptly: ]

Did you say you're an alien?

[helpline]

[ The Doctor nods, as he continues talking. ]

I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. And, considering I've been traveling through space and time for over a thousand years, let's pick something as a baseline.

[jacksonian]

[ He frowns, dissatisfied and skeptical, but finally offers up: ]

Most of them are Barrayaran. Which I bet means nothing to you, even if you're telling the truth about all that space and time travel.

[helpline]

[ There's a pause, while the Doctor thinks. Barrayaran...surely he's heard of that planet before. How would you make that to the planet's name, Barrayar? He's heard of a few Var planets, but nothing like that. Maybe it's a corruption of something?

This is the longest time in the whole conversation that the Doctor's been silent as he wracks his brain to see if he can remember a 'Barrayar.' Eventually, he comes to the conclusion that he hasn't.

And oh that is such a wonderful conclusion, as the Doctor gives Mark a BIG OL'GRIN. ]

You're right! That means absolutely nothing to me! [ And that's amazing because new planet! New planet to learn about, hell yeah, let's do this thing. ] Where's it located? What's the name of it's major star? I'm assuming there are Earth-like conditions, you look pretty human, after all, but have you achieved space travel yet? Is it part of any sort of planetary confederation?

[jacksonian]

[ Mark had thought he'd gotten him. Totally flummoxed him. And then this - He stares at the Doctor, his face clearly registering the general sentiment of what the fuck is actually wrong with you.

Finally: ]

We're all humans. No aliens at all. And yeah, we have wormhole travel.

[helpline]

[ Where the Doctor's still just like that one kid at the science museum who wants to ask ALL THE QUESTIONS ABOUT DINOSAURS, let's just keep on bothering Mark about this. ]

Would you be able to pinpoint the location on a star map? I might even be able to make one for you, depending on what galaxy you're in.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark shoots the Doctor a look of irritation. ]

I don't need to pinpoint the location.

[ He then proceeds to rattle off a long list of information about very precise location - coordinates in five-space of Barrayar's star, its planetary orbit, its nearest wormhole, and other stuff that doesn't get mentioned in the books themselves because the author doesn't know physics at all. ]

[helpline]

[ gotta love it when the books/tv show don't know shit about real science.

But the Doctor takes in all that information, listening intently as Mark rattles off info. ]

Fascinating, [ he can't help but mutter after the infodump's done. ] I've traveled through that space before, most recently on my way to Pelladon. In my universe, there's nothing there.

[jacksonian]

[ That's...a little freaky, okay. He frowns. ]

Well, different universes. What about -

[ And he gives the coordinates for Jackson's Whole. ]

[helpline]

That's a different planet entirely in my world: Messaline. Your planet there isn't prone to radiation spike, is it?

[ because yeah, this is a little freaky. ]

[jacksonian]

If only.

[helpline]

[ if only = Jackson Whole is probably a touchy subject = poke at other people about it. ]

It's odd. I've encountered different universes a few times when I was back home, but there wasn't anything to the extent of planets not being there.

[jacksonian]

I guess this place is outside your realm of experience, then.

[helpline]

You're right. But mostly because this place shouldn't exist to begin with.

[ The Doctor's 100% serious when he says this, look of concern on his face. ]

[jacksonian]

[ A dissatisfied grunt. ]

So much for being the person who wants to help and defend the people here. Now these people shouldn't even exist?

[helpline]

What? No, I mean this world. It's dangerous. All these timelines, all these anachronisms, it's a miracle that this universe hasn't imploded on itself yet and oddly worrying that it hasn't.

[ Time stuff. There's so much time stuff and time nonsense and anachronism bullshit that how is Time still standing, someone please give that metaphorical concept a drink. ]

Doesn't mean that the people who live here don't deserve to be protected.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark shrugs, fairly indifferent to the implications about time and space. ]

Well, if it hasn't imploded in on itself, then your understanding about what's right and what's wrong in the universe must be a little off.

[helpline]

[ The Doctor's about to go on a rant...but then he stops. ]

Do you care about temporal logistics to begin with, or should I save this rant for later?

[jacksonian]

Probably save it.

[helpline]

It's a pretty good rant, [ said with a little shrug. But he'll save the pretty good rant for people who give a damn because again, pretty good rant, it involves visual aids, let's keep it simple. ]

[jacksonian]

Yeah, well, I don't really care much about the topic. If we've time traveled, then okay, it's not like we had any say in it anyway.

[helpline]

Well, it's more like we've done massive damage to the timeline as a whole but sure, don't care about the topic, I can deal.

[jacksonian]

I haven't done damage to the timeline. I didn't ask to be brought here.

[ This is something of a theme. ]

[helpline]

Right, we're going to have to go on the rant anyway because you don't understand anything about time travel.

[ Sorry Mark, let's kill that egotism with Time Travel 101 ]

Question! Do you know what an anachronism is?