person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

[jacksonian]

WHO: Mark and whoever
WHERE: Everywhere!! But mostly De Chima and Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Throughout November
WHAT: Catch-all for November with stuff. Hit me up!! Please!!! Open prompts below; PM me if you want something that isn't these things.
WARNINGS: Mark's life sucks; I'll edit this header if any particular suckiness comes up.


1. dog dog dog dog dog dog dog; De Chima/Maurtia Falls
[ In De Chima or in Maurtia Falls, you might find a rather strange sight: a small stocky man walking an enormous stocky dog. This is Mark walking his dog Captain, a scarred and warlike pit bull that pulls at the leash and constantly wags his tail. Mark's expression is still a forbidding glower, but Captain's doggy face is open and bright-eyed and happy; there's no one he doesn't want to make friends with.

And Mark, unfortunately, doesn't know good leash technique, and also (in spite of his own roundness) doesn't outweigh his dog by that much. And so when Captain wants to make friends, Mark is dragged along behind him. And that is why, if you're walking around, you might be approached by a dog trailing a very sour-looking little man who's hissing - ]

No, don't - stop - heel -

2. come make $$$$; Maurtia Falls
[ PKE, LLC, up in Maurtia Falls, is beyond luxurious. The office is appointed with a sort of brushed-steel-and-pine classiness, like it's furnished from the expensive part of Ikea; the receptionist out front is attractive and aloof, and people who are waiting get offered mineral water from glass bottles.

There are any number of reasons that you might have ended up here: you might have received an advertisement in the mail, or a random notification on your phone, or you might have seen the advertising that targets imPorts. All of this advertising will have offered help in investing, getting rich, or opening a new business - generous funding to get everyone a little bit wealthier.

Mark, sitting at his desk, smiles a smile that can generously be described as oily when you're shown in. And he purrs - ]

Please, sit down. Tell me about how you'd like to make money.

3. kicking some grass; De Chima
[ Mark doesn't like to practice where he can be seen. Definitely not. So when he's worked up and anxious, he goes out far away from his family, far away from the people who know him, out into the forests of De Chima. On the unlikely off-chance that your character happens to wander by, they'll be treated to a very strange sight: a small fat man vigorously practicing a judo kata, face miserable, before punching a tree. He turns as soon as he hears them, though, eyes flashing with anger as he snarls - ]

What the hell are you doing here? Go away.

4. fuck it; anywhere
[ Mark's eating ice cream. Come have ice cream. ]

Comments

[jacksonian]

Yeah?

[ A hard, stubborn, mulish look comes into his face. ]

So if I don't answer, you're going to call the cops?

[helpline]

[ Considering that the Doctor's persona non grata for the police officers in most cities, absolutely not. ]

Perhaps. Or perhaps I might poke around a bit more. By the way, is that a stunner under your arm or are you just happy to see me?

[jacksonian]

[ That makes him stiffen. His right fist clenches with the sheer effort it takes to not grope at it to make sure it's still in place and intact. ]

What? What are you talking about?

[helpline]

Stunner, under your arm, obviously not Earth kit and thankfully, the only piece of non-Earth kit in this room. [ said in a very casual tone, as the Doctor looks over at Mark. He's shifts his position in the chair, dangling his legs over the arm of the chair as he continues to talk. ]

Well, the only piece of non-Earth kit in this room that doesn't belong to me, that is. Want to answer my questions now?

[jacksonian]

[ He takes a breath to calm himself. And then he unbuttons his suit jacket and reaches in to grasp the stunner, and draw it, and set it down on the table in front of him. The Doctor is quite right; not Earth make, but very elegant and clean. Whoever made it really knew what they were doing.

He lifts his chin and meets the Doctor's eyes, brows drawing down, eyes narrowed in defiance. ]

Do you have any tricks better than just being able to spot someone's weapons? Because I'm going to have to get a lot more impressed before I tell you shit.

[helpline]

[ The Doctor meets Mark's defiance with a little smirk. He wants tricks? Oh this is going to be fun, he can't help showing off a little bit no matter what. Of course, his showing off isn't going to be anything malicious...just annoying. Slowly and deliberately, the Doctor reaches into his pocket and puts the sonic sunglasses on his face, not making any sudden movements because yeah, he knows that Mark could stun him at any possible moment. ]

There's not anything on this floor that needs quiet, right? No nurseries or babies or anything like that?

[ Because with the sonic sunglasses, he's already trying to hack into the intercom system with the express purpose of piping loud, obnoxious music through this floor.

Of course, it just looks like the Doctor's staring slightly at the intercom while his glasses...make a small whirring noise. ]

[jacksonian]

No.

[ The look he shoots the Doctor is plainly incredulous. He speaks as he would to an idiot: ]

There are no nurseries in this office building. Why?

sorry mark

[helpline]

Good!

[ The music starts off a little quiet, as the sonic sunglasses continue to whirr and the volume of the intercom turns up. And then, a little too loud for comfort,

"I GET KNOCKED DOWN
BUT I GET UP AGAIN
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN
I GET KNOCKED DOWN
BUT I GET UP AGAIN
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN"

The Doctor looks absolutely joyful as the strains of Chumbawumba blare though the intercom system of the floor of the office building. ]

i love you

[jacksonian]

[ Mark's expression darkens even further. He's not remotely confused as to who's behind this. ]

Stop that.

i love you too. :)

[helpline]

Stop what?

[ said with an all too innocent look on his face. Of course the fact that the Doctor speaks along with he drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink isn't helping his case very much. ]

[jacksonian]

Shut off the music.

[ His jaw is clenched so hard that it nearly aches. ]

[helpline]

You're no fun.

[ But indeed, after one last I GET KNOCKED DOWN, the music abruptly turns off. ]

Chumbawumba not your taste? I've got some Clash we could play instead. Oh, or Parliament Funkadelic, did you know that some planets haven't even heard of Parliament Funkadelic?

[jacksonian]

[ He tries to look steely. ]

I don't care about whether or not people have heard of Parliament Funkydelk.

[helpline]

Parlament Funkadelic.

[ His legs still draped over the side of his chair, the Doctor tilts his head backwards to get a good look at Mark's computer. He's not done showing off just yet. ]

Check your email.

[ Because surprise, the Doctor's sent Mark an email via plot device sonic sunglasses. The email's from doctor@timeaftertimeheropa.com, has the subject like "Parliament Funkadelic" and the body of the email just consists of a mp3 download of "Give Up the Funk"

Eventually the Doctor will stop being a show-offy douchebag. Today's not the day. ]

You can reply to that email with the list of clients, by the way.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark looks over when his email pings, eyes narrowing slightly. After the Doctor speaks, he turns to his computer and clicks on it. There's a slight pause as he looks over the email. He doesn't download the song, but he does hesitate a moment. Then he clicks again, and types again, and then clicks. And then he turns to look at the Doctor, unblinking.

A few seconds - two, three, four - and then an email shows up in the Doctor's sonic inbox. ]

To: doctor@timeaftertimeheropa.com
From: mpvk@pke.com
Re: Client list

Message body:
Go fuck yourself

[helpline]

Rude.

[ Because yeah. Rude. Says the person who's still sitting in the chair in a way that you don't sit in a chair and who just treated the office to unwelcome Chumbawumba, yeah, Mark's the one being rude. He continues talking in an idle tone of voice, tone covering the fact that he's kind of threatening Mark. ]

I hacked into your intercom system, I can hack into your computer and encryptions as well. It's Earth tech, primitive twenty-first century stuff, and I'm certain that weapon of yours marks you as more of a soldier than a technician. [ but a slightly fat soldier...well, sometimes the army's got to take anybody ] I can deal with it if you don't give me a full client list, but at least a list of your qualifications of who PKE, LLC accepts and doesn't accept would do.

Really, this is all just preventative.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark turns back to his computer as the Doctor talks, and types busily. It takes another ten seconds or so before Mark turns his monitor around. There, on the screen, for the Doctor's perusal, is one of the man's own network posts. He plays the video a moment before hitting the button for it to stop. ]

Don't speculate on who I am. I'm not a soldier or a technician. You don't know who I am. But I do know who you are. Are you going to threaten me again?

[helpline]

Oh, that's a good post, [ the Doctor can't help but muse, as he looks over at the screen. ] And it's this face, you're bound to be confused if you prowl backwards a little further.

[ The problem with being a Time Lord and having to deal with timeshifty events is that surprise, sometimes you don't look like yourself. But as Mark asks his question, the Doctor pushes his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, as he looks over at Mark with something like honest curiosity in his eyes. ]

If I did, what would you do?

[jacksonian]

[ Yeah, go on, Mark. What? What'll you do? For a moment, morbidly and miserably, he thinks of doing his best Ser Galen impression, leaning in and breathing I'll take you apart, slowly, piece by piece, so that you feel it. But on the other hand, he'd sooner cut his own throat than do a Ser Galen impression. A proper Jacksonian Baron would lay things out coolly, draw up recordings of all of the people who talk to the Doctor regularly on the network, make some suave comments about the low price of a capper compared to the cost of hacking and sabotage. Maybe make some cool intimations about the sorts of things you can do to people who are functionally immortal. But...Mark would also sooner cut his throat than do an impression of a Jacksonian Baron.

He fights the urge to clutch at his hair and moan in despair and anger. Doesn't this guy get it? He has to keep up certain appearances. He has to look calculating and a bit nasty. It's imperative to the well-being of his business - of his family, too - that there's someone who seems dangerous, to counterbalance Miles' friendliness and Cordelia's warmth. Someone people will be afraid of, along with the people they'll like. So he can't just negotiate when he's being threatened. And also: the fact that he's threatening him just makes Mark so furious, and he really can go to hell if he thinks that Mark can just be bullied and intimidated - I've been screwed over by a far higher caliber of asshole than you...

Okay. He grinds his teeth and snaps: ]

I'd break those stupid sunglasses of yours, for a start. Why the shit do you think I owe you anything? I owe loyalty to my clients, not some old man who thinks he's entitled to everything.

[helpline]

[ The small hint of a smile plays on the Doctor's mouth at the response. Well, loyalty is valued. And it's good to see one positive character trait creep out of this whole shebang.

The Doctor pauses before he talks, taking his sonic sunglasses off and shifting in the chair so that he can look Mark directly in the eyes as he says this next bit, still casual, but with a deathly serious undertone. ]

I know I'm not entitled to your list. But I've got a duty of care towards this planet: as long as I'm here, people will be kept safe. And if I find out that you've backed someone who's put innocent people in danger or even worse, who's hurt innocent people, I'll tear apart your company with my bare hands.

[ The Doctor doesn't give a damn about people getting rich for the sake of getting rich. It's depressing, but he can live with that. No, what he cares about are keeping people safe. If he's going to be stuck on this planet, the least he can do is protect it no matter what. He doesn't want to miss the warning signs again. ]

[jacksonian]

[ No. For a moment there's a tremble of real terror that goes through him. His company...It's the one thing that's really his. He built it himself, with no help at all, not from anyone. No one had given him any start-up money; he'd scammed for those first thousands of dollars. No one had told him to do this. No one had even told him how to do this. Mark hadn't had a single day's worth of financial education before he'd decided to create this, and yet it's succeeded - succeeded wildly - and it keeps his family whole and healthy and fed and safe. It's precious to him, because it's a sign to him that he can succeed on his own merits, in a way that Miles never could. It's a sign that he's his own person.

To have it destroyed -

He wishes in a dizzying wave of aggression that the weapon on the table in front of him was a nerve disruptor instead of a stunner. See how fucking arrogant he'd be then in the split-second he had between realizing what it was and death. His hand twitches towards the stunner, wondering if he can turn the nonlethal weapon deadly just by sheer force of will... ]

Yeah?

[ He croaks that, but his lips pull back from his teeth in a leer that's decidedly unsettling and nasty. ]

Innocent people. Who would those be, exactly?

[helpline]

The humans.

[ said as if that's the most obvious answer in the world. Who does the Doctor care about, he cares about the little people, he cares about the people who get caught up in this nonsense without any way to protect themselves. The power struggle's real and obvious. ]

I don't care about the imPorts. You all can keep on blowing each other up for all I care. But I don't want the people of this world to get hurt on such a scale like Stark's was.

[ Because yeah, the Doctor straight up doesn't believe that people came into the Extremis whatever knowing what they were going to get. Even if they did know, he doesn't believe that Stark would have told them everything, how permanent this was, just how getting powers would change their life...it's like asking a kid what they want for dinner and then agreeing when they say they want chocolate. You don't do that. There need to be oversight. ]

[jacksonian]

[ A mean little cackle tumbles loose from his mouth. A jeering, malicious sort of ill humor rises in him as he asks: ]

The humans. You think humans are innocent? Are you stupid, naive - or just deluding yourself?

[ And then his grin fades a bit into a less cracked and more self-possessed expression. It is also an angrier expression, though, his gaze hot with hatred. ]

You can't protect shit. You realize that, don't you? What you're proposing is coming in and cleaning up. That's not worth anything to anyone.

[helpline]

[ The Doctor can't help it. He narrows his eyebrows, glaring at Mark with an expression that's equal parts determination and anger. ]

I think the humans are a lot more innocent than the rest of us lot. They don't deserve to be dragged into-- [ our bullshit is almost what he says, but the Doctor responds instead with ] our nonsense.

[ Of course, #notallhumans. But at the same time, this is exactly the sort of thing the Doctor has to deal with back home, protecting humanity from whatever sort of extraterrestrial incursion decides to come in and ruin the lives of people who get caught up in the nonsense by simply existing. ]

[jacksonian]

Our nonsense?

[ Another laugh, this one a little lower and hollower. Mark's hand clenches on a pen - his right hand, his stunner-firing hand. Making it so that he'll have to drop that pen before he can pick up his weapon. ]

I didn't ask to be dragged into this shit. They're the ones who vote for the assholes who keep building up the war effort. I don't, I didn't, and I'll make as much money as I need to to deal with what they decided.