Lucifer vs. Vor master post

[vorbarra]

WHO: Lucifer + the whole damn cast + a bunch of unfortunate victims of circumstance.
WHERE: Various.
WHEN: Starting 5/27 and onward.
WHAT: Lucifer has Mark kidnap Gregor. Shit hits the fan.
WARNINGS: There is definitely going to be torture and violence. Will update with specifics.


Table of Contents (roughly chronological)
Initial kidnapping -- Gregor, Mark, Lucifer
So honey, I haven't told you... -- Aral, Cordelia
Secondary kidnapping -- Lucy, Mark, Kel
Hawke vs. Vorhouse -- Hawke, Miles, Aral, Tex, Jim, Spock, Kel
Miles at the hospital -- Miles, Kitty, Tex, Ed, Jim, Bucky, Ken, Kareen, Mark, Newt, Kel
Location: rubble -- Winry, Miles, Ed, Tex
Ruined date and getting voluntold -- Duv, Kasumi, Aral
Torture log -- Lucifer, Dean, Gregor
Assignment -- Lucifer, Mark
Telepathy -- Aral, Tex, Gregor
Wagon circling -- Miles, Winry, Roy, Ed, Yuri
Requests -- Aral, Jim
Rescue -- Lucifer, Miles, Kitty, Hermann, Mark
Hellhounds -- Lucifer, Roy, Ed, Hawke, Mark, Aral
Main fight -- Lucifer, Aral, Hawke
Swamp mingle -- Tex, Hawke, Ed, Winry, Roy, Jim
Post-rescue at hospital -- Gregor, Miles, Kitty, Duv, Cordelia
Following the trail of burger wrappers and tears -- Duv, Nicolas
Hospital threads part three -- Miles, Cordelia
End of the line -- Duv, Mark
Family reunion & oath swearing -- Mark, Gregor, Aral, Tej, Duv, Miles, Tex, Winry, Ed, Simon
Recovery OTA -- Aral, Miles, Duv, Cordelia, Ed, Winry

Comments

[keep_nothing]

No, Gregor [ Her voice is suddenly firmer, hinting at the steel underneath that he knows Countess Vorkosigan would one day have, a strength as sharp as any sword and handled with more skill than any of the finest armsmen could ever hope to possess. ] That's not what I mean.

[vorbarra]

[ He jerks, startled to suddenly hear her sounding exactly like how he thinks of her, and looks up just to check that she hasn't suddenly been replaced with a gray-streaked sharp Countess. The foster-mother he still thinks of when he envisions her.

He lets out a breath, tries to batten down his unflattering self-pity. ] I don't have nearly the confidence you do in my ability to recover.

[keep_nothing]

[ She's surprised at his jerk, not sure what she did to prompt that reaction. But she doesn't want to lose the current thread of conversation, putting aside her question of it for later.

The mild surprise is enough to change that subtle steel in her voice though, and while she sounds as confident and firm as ever, she doesn't sound like the Countess any more. She shakes her head lightly to his pity. ] You will, Gregor. And I'm not talking about the Emperor. That role will endure no matter who it is. I'm talking about you.

You have such strength, love, and I don't think you've even scratched the surface of it yet. It's unfair of all of us to ask you to bear what you do, but you can survive even that. Your loved ones have given you that strength, and will keep doing so as long as you love them, even if, God forbid, they may no longer be there near you.

cw: past suicide attempt discussion

[vorbarra]

[ He can't keep eye contact through this; he looks away again. He's so worn, and tired, and vulnerable right now that the truth just slips out of him unnoticed, all of his defenses gone, worn away to nothing by his endurance. ]

You're wrong, [ he says hoarsely. ] The only resiliency I have is as Emperor. You wouldn't be saying that if you... [ The words don't seem to come for that. ] I tried to run away. I told you that. But that wasn't the first thing I tried.

[keep_nothing]

... If I what, [ she prompts gently. ] What do you mean, wasn't the first thing you tried?

[vorbarra]

I... overheard someone. That's how I found out about my father. I was very drunk. [ In a darker mutter, ] Very drunk.

[ The words come out tense, low. Masking shame. So different from when he'd told Miles this. ]

When I got back to my room, I realized there was a gap in my security. [ Bleakly: ] I'm sure whoever it was got fired later. I saw the balcony, and... I was thinking about-- having to go back to Vorbarra Sultana, and pretend I knew nothing. That I was fit to rule and not a ticking time bomb. And it seemed so much easier to... not.

[ A pause. He licks his lips, then finishes softly. ]

I became tangled in some vines instead, and walked off. You and Miles are the only ones who realize what actually happened.

[keep_nothing]

[ Cordelia listens intently, quiet until he finishes, but her eyes widen when he mentions the balcony, immediately seeing where he was going with that ...

There's a pause after he finishes, and her voice is quieter when she speaks again. ]

... Was this on Komarr? Miles briefly mentioned that something happened, but said that I needed to talk to you about it.

[vorbarra]

Yes.

[ He lets out a breathless, sour, self-castigating laugh. ]

The Emperor disappeared on Komarr. Unbearably selfish of me. I got read the riot act when I returned. [ Since they thought he'd just run away, nothing deeper. ] Imagine if I had died-- they'd be forced to scrutinize everyone in a ten kilometer radius, all unfairly.

[keep_nothing]

Everyone has weak moments, love ... You can't hold it against yourself. You've grown since then, haven't you?

[vorbarra]

... I don't feel so hopeless as to do it again. Not nearly.

[ Gregor puts his face in one hand. ]

But I'm not like what you think I am.

[keep_nothing]

You're human. You're exactly what I think you are.

[vorbarra]

Weak and liable to fall apart if struck the wrong way?

[keep_nothing]

And able to bear more than you think you can with hidden depths you haven't even begun to dig up yet.

[vorbarra]

I can see why you're saying that, but I feel very far from it right now.

[keep_nothing]

That's usually when you start to dig without knowing it.

[vorbarra]

I'd much rather go to sleep for about three days than do any digging.

[keep_nothing]

[ She huffs a breath through her nose, her lips curving upward. ] In your case, I think that would be well-earned.

[ In a bit more somber tone, ] ... And you can always tell me to go away, you know.

[vorbarra]

[ He huffs out a breath and scrubs at his face again before forcing himself to drop his hand. ]

I don't want you to go away, I just want... To pretend none of this had happened. It shouldn't have happened. I feel very childish, but this isn't something anyone ever told me I might have to endure.

[ Gregor is undeniably wrapped in cotton wool as much as ImpSec can get him to stand still for it. Even Metzov and Cavilo hadn't dared violence toward his person. And he's too important a political prisoner for anyone else to treat that way, either, even if he were captured; but Lucifer had no such concerns. Gregor was just a man, there. Emphatically... as human and able to be tortured as anyone else, with no protection at all... ]

[keep_nothing]

There's nothing childish about a natural reaction to a traumatic experience, love. And while pretending won't help you in the long run, there's no benefit to poking at and digging into an open wound either. You need time to heal first, literally and figuratively.

[vorbarra]

I just hope I can get it, [ he mutters. ] I need... at least to sleep again before I can deal with being Emperor at anyone. I'll need to speak with Captain Galeni.

Mark-- Mark ran off.

[keep_nothing]

[ She'd been about to start really mom'ing at him, saying that she or Aral can deal with whatever was left to dealt with if it meant he got more rest—but Mark's name stopped her before she could get the words out. ]

... Ran off?

[vorbarra]

Dr. Gottlieb pulled him here when he took me, but he didn't stay. And we can't just let him go.

[keep_nothing]

[ She lets out a sigh. ]

I know. I would hope that he comes back willingly, but ... [ But she couldn't fault him if he didn't. ]

[vorbarra]

[ Grimly, ] I'll give him a chance to be sworn in. It's all I can do; I can't force him.

[keep_nothing]

No ... it wouldn't be right to. But I appreciate you giving him the chance, Gregor.