maskormenacelogs | (no subject)

You do know that your denseness is only endearing some of the time, right?

By all means, then. Explain what you mean.

Maybe you can start with the fact that Gregor received a broader education than most Barrayarans ever get in their lifetime. Raised by a Betan, remember?

[ Though she winces slightly at the end of her own statement; she doesn't really want to emphasis that Cordelia (she can't really claim she herself here) raised Gregor instead of Kareen. ]

[ He blinks at that, sharp eyes taking in the gesture. ]

... Do you think she wants to hear that particular fact?

[ Damn Miles for inheriting her keen observation skills, even if he only uses it when it suits him. ]

... I think she knows it by now. That someone would have had to care for him in her—[ she catches there, not wanting to finish "in her place". She never wanted to replace Kareen. ]—because she was gone.

Rather different than hearing it. [ And then, after a moment's thought. ] Very different from saying.

You're right, it is. But she's also a strong woman. I think string enough to hear it.

Are you strong enough to say it, Mother?

Me?

Yes, you. You'd be the one telling her about being Gregor's foster mother. I'm not touching that one either.

[ Another small wince. ]

That's already ... come up. Briefly.

And that was an easy conversation, I suppose?

Of course it wasn't, Miles, it was also related to her dying in front of me and my not able to do anything about it except burn the damn Residence down. Which, by the way, surely you've noticed her powers by now.

[ She didn't intend her words to be harsh, but that stung, right into her guilt. ]

[ Just as he'd planned, really. He just folds his arm over his chest lightly. ]

Then how do you expect me to tell her anything about Gregor and I? Surely she'd burn our residence down.

Talking about caring for someone's child because you caused the parent's death is a great deal different than talking about the child's romantic entanglements.

I agree. The romantic entanglements are worse.

[ She rolls her eyes a bit at that. ]

You're rather biased on the subject, I think.

I'm allowed. It's important ...

It is important, and the important subjects are always both simple and complicated.

Then what should we do, Mother? What's the right way to handle this?

... I certainly don't believe avoidance is the answer. It never is.

... I wish it were, then.

[ She embraces him again with one arm, leaning in the press a kiss to his hair. ]

Think of it as another test then.

[ He snorts a bit at that, but leans against her gratefully. His body is small against hers. Enervated by a lack of his usual confidence. ]

The sort that's also a gift?

[ She increases the pressure of her arm, tightening her grip on him gently. ]

Aren't they all?