I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]

[rassera]

WHO: The residents of Nonah 05 + YOU!
WHERE: Nonah, Residence #005
WHEN: All month long (January)
WHAT: Nonah 05 open log for January Shenanigans
WARNINGS: Obligatory Bull and Tetsuo warnings apply.


Starters will be appearing in the comments. If you want something specific from any one person (Kaneda rassera, Tetsuo iamtetsuo, Bull rideme and Ken amadaman), feel free to drop them a line and ask! Otherwise, feel free to add your own starters for the whole household or individual residents as you like.

Comments

[rassera]

...A month? Two?

[More? He says it so casually, hoisting that stool up over his head and plopping it down.]

[deadtective]

You can't be fucking serious.

[nope, she's just going to come outright and say it. this entire scenario and her apparent place in it is so incomprehensible that Hazel outright rejects its existence in reality. he's got to be trying to regain some lost ground on the trolling front after their week-long pause.]

[rassera]

I -told- you it's something only you can help with, you knowww~!

[His voice trails off, moving his way around the garbage, eyes set on something else. Was that a box? A box that could double as a nightstand?]

[deadtective]

Don't you use that fucking goddamn tone with me right now!

[oh my god she's going to bean him with literally anything in this trash heap. Hazel's hand wraps around some piece of junk (it's a vase of some sort) and she raises it above her head threateningly; speak the truth, man, lest you suffer yet another concussion.]

[rassera]

[The sound that escapes Kaneda's mouth...it's a mix between an exclamation of surprise and a yelp. He knows that gesture--he's more than once had something thrown at his head. It's just getting something to cover with--ah, here's a...tennis racket? That'll work-- that's the problem. He holds it up, 'netting' facing her like a shield.]

Oi!! What is your PROBLEM?!

[deadtective]

Right now it's fucking you, but gimme an actual answer and I'll see what I can do about it.

[the arm moves into windup position, one good pitch away from ceramic terror. how much confidence do you have in that duraflex weave, buddy?]

[rassera]

Hey, hey hey!!

[That racket's aimed now, as if trying to judge the trajectory of the vase's eventual path. What was the PROBLEM? If she didn't want to stay she could've just said that but--oh god, she looks like she's about ready to pitch that at any second.]

THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Do you want to stay or not?!

[deadtective]

Why the fuck would you want me around here even more than I already am!?

[nope, wrong answer! let's see how much innate tennis skill a post-apocalpytic nerdbomber has as she sends the vase careening right at his head.]

[rassera]

[Luck has shined upon this boy today, because the vase hits dead center, exploding in a pile of porcelain and dust, most of it coating Kaneda and the racket. Give him a moment, he's got to shake that dust out of his hair.]

SHIT!!!

What the hell DIDN'T sink in when I said you were my friend?! Tetsuo's friend!

[He sidesteps out of the way of those vase shards, making sure all the little bits of it are on the ground and not in his hair or on his clothes.]

[deadtective]

I was gonna let that go, but nobody is stupid enough to do this for me!

[she gestures wildly at the bedroom behind her, looking a bit stricken in between the outrage. to cover herself she bends almost immediately, shifting around the basement debris to find her next projectile.]

[rassera]

[Excuse you?! HE'S PLENTY STUPID ENOUGH!!!]

I thought you'd be happy! You're here for Tetsuo, right?!

[Oh no you don't, he's scaling that pile of garbage over the center, trying to stop her before she grabs the next dangerous object she can.]

[deadtective]

[oh my god no she refuses this premise! Hazel sees him coming and starts chucking lighter garbage to get in his way as she tries to double the speed she's searching for something heavier with.]

Of course I am! But you don't have to fucking bribe me or whatever the hell you're trying to do here, I'm gonna keep coming back anyway!

[rassera]

[Jesus Christ it's already hard enough to vault over a chair and a bag of golf clubs you throwing random shit isn't making this any easier!]

It's not a--SHIT!--bribe!

[He catches that next one mid-air, a little surprised at his own reflexes for a moment, only for the one after that to smack him upside the head.]

I just thought you could--it'd be EASIER!!

[deadtective]

[MAKING IT DIFFICULT IS THE ENTIRE POINT YOU DUMBASS]

I don't ever get 'easier', there's always something else! So just fucking spit it out so we can get over it!

[AHA FINALLY she grasps something a little heftier than the junk she'd been throwing before. with a determined grimace she lifts it up to take aim...and has to pause her onslaught, because the statuette is just too bizarre. she casts a befuddled look at Kaneda, like somehow this is all his doing.]

...who bought this?

1/4

[rassera]

There's nothing els--

2/4

[rassera]

[He stops midsentence, noticing her attention shift to the statuette that she's got in her hands. He's not sure if he should...take this as a blessing or not but--]

3/4

[rassera]

[Wait, why is she looking at him like that.]

4/4

[rassera]

[Shrug.]

[deadtective]

Don't give me that look, it's in your fucking basement!

[AND IT IS SUPER WEIRD SHE HAD TO COMMENT ON IT, although depending on how things go she might fall back into throwing things anyway.]

[rassera]

Hey! I wasn't here the WHOLE TIME!

[The garbage beneath him shifts slightly as he makes his way over, racket still held up.]

Look. Looklooklooklook--


LOOK.

[Oh hey, he's on the other side.]

I'm NOT bribing you.

[Now give him that damn statue before you kill someone and there's only one technically alive person in this room.]

[deadtective]

[if Hazel being the only vaguely living thing in a room wasn't the saddest outcome a confrontation would have, she doesn't know what is. she tilts it at him warily, like she's holding a gun rather than an ugly statue, but still doesn't toss it.]

Yeah? So what is it? [she blows a wayward strand of hair out of her face] Look, I don't give a shit what it is, I just wanna know.

[she's used to people using her. she just wants a little honesty when it comes to ulterior motives, so everyone's on the same page.]

[rassera]

[Kaneda's arms slump to the side, the tennis racket falling to the floor as his head rolls back.]

You don't get it, do you...

[Sure, he'd noticed this when he teased her over the comm, but for the longest time he thought she was just being difficult. That it was a way to shield herself from his teasing. He'd poked buttons where they were unguarded, and they riled her up.

But now he's starting to see that...like Tetsuo, she's hiding a lot more than just a few things to rile up. He doesn't know what they are, or why they feel justified but...]

I'm not trying to get something out of you!

[deadtective]

That's pretty fucking stupid of you, then.

[and it's also more than a little upsetting, which is why she keeps trying to fight against the concept no matter how hard reality pushes back at her. she can cry actual tears now, the entire thing is a danger zone.]

[rassera]

No one said I was all that smart.

[If anything, it's been hammered into his head (literally) every day back home. But the rough tone he usually speaks in is replaced with a slightly gentler one, hand gingerly reaching out to try and take that statue.]

[deadtective]

This is straight into fucking brain damaged territory, man.

[she's frowning aggressively at him, the sort of expression that is trying too hard to be anything but upset. he could probably pry a million dollars in cash out of her hand right now, let alone that ugly statue - it slips out of her grasp effortlessly.]