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WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

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She doesn't even raise an eyebrow at him sharpening a knife (at least he has the decency to be prepared for whatever horrible thing is inevitably going to go down if what happens in this place is any indication), but she doesn't exactly look thrilled to see him, either. She sets her bag down on the bed and crosses her arms.

"Better than a complete stranger, I suppose," she concedes. "Do you think there is some greater power at play here?"

"Naw. Just luck. Good or bad, depending on how you look at it," Magnus says, setting his knife on the bedside table, amiably making room for the fact that any lack of contact they've had has been entirely purposeful and that she might not even like him too much. That's fine. He's always managed to bulldoze his way through that, much to others' chagrin.

"Come on, might as well take a load off. Better me than some of the chumps you get around here." He eyes her curiously. "Been meaning to get to know you anyhow."

To be fair, Zelda doesn't particularly like anyone. Sabrina is her only family tie here and even somedays she like her, either.

"You'd like to get to know me?" She can't really hide the astonishment in her voice. So far, Murphy and Tina were the only mortals who seemed to take any interest in her at all. Or maybe they were the only mortals she had any interest in. "Well, I suppose there isn't anything better to do, is there?"

Magnus raises a brow at her, pushing one hand to his chest. "Not unless you wanna get to know about me."

Magnus could talk about himself all night. It's one of his many skills. But for now, he's being completely genuine in wanting to get to know Zelda. He tends to want to know about everyone, after all, and those who are close to the people he cares about most of all.

"You could start by telling me what you do. Here and at home."

"Well..."

She takes a seat, folding her hands together.

"At present, I am the personal secretary to Armitage Hux. If you know him." The imPort community isn't exactly small, so she would be surprised if he does. "At home, I was in... quite a different field. What is it you do?"

"Nah. Never heard of him. But I haven't heard of plenty of people here," Magnus points out. He's sociable, but not entirely connected - especially not to anyone who's important enough to have a personal secretary. That sounds like either a prolific businessman or a politician, and Magnus tends not to get on with either sort.

"My home's different from this place. I was a mercenary. Think more, uh, protecting wagons and acting as protection for expeditions than some of the other shit people think of when they think of mercenaries." Though, of course, he's done a few of those too. And that's leaving out his other job, but he figures it's easiest to simplify matters for now. "Here, I'm a pro wrestler. It's a change, but the pay's good. Better than freelance work, sometimes."

He raises a brow at her. "So what was your job at home?"

While much of what he's said is at least nominally interesting (she does want to hear more about this mercenary work one of these days), there is one thing in particular that gets her undivided attention.

Wrestling.

"A professional wrestler? I daresay it's not my favorite mortal sport, but it's definitely one of the more enjoyable ones. So theatrical, and filled with such virility."

She leans forward, clearly far more engaged than she was a moment before. Zelda is a simple woman with simple needs, and one of those needs is watching mortals beat the snot out of each other for sport.

"I had a few methods of employment. I was a midwife, primarily. But was also the proprietress of a mortuary with my sister, and I taught at the Academy of Unseen Arts as well."

"Shit, you like it? Can't say I expected that. Remind me later, and I'll get you ringside tickets so you can see ol' I'Morko shine."

But he's learning about her too - his talk about wrestling can wait, especially considering he's been known to get into some more dangerous dalliances in his career when he needs to blow off some steam. Nobody needs to know about that, though. Not yet. Not unless he trusts them -- or they happen to need a shitload of cash.

He drums his fingers against the bed. "Midwife, I know. Mortuaries, I know too. Nasty work." He puts the corpses in the mortuary; he has very little to do with them after the fact.

"Unseen Arts, though. That's new. Is that a fancy way of saying magic?"

Zelda agrees about the nasty work; that's why Ambrose takes care of the actual corpses. Zelda mostly just answers the phone, and that's only when Hilda isn't around to handle it. Really, she's there in name only.

"I would quite enjoy that." He earns a smile for the offer, which is a way bigger deal than it probably seems. "And yes, it is a school for magic. I attended it as a child and now Sabrina does."

"Aw, that's sweet. All generational-like. I gotta say, I'm glad that you're here now. Sabrina could use someone else to look out for her, especially after..."

He pauses, frowning, gnawing a little on the inside of his lip. He's still ashamed for his part in that whole bloody affair - which is to say, he had very little part in it and hadn't been the quickest to notice that things had gone awry - but it's worth talking about.

"Well. I'm sure Sabrina told you all about it. And there's nobody you can trust quite like family, yeah? The one you choose or otherwise."

"My family is all that matters to me."

Somehow, Zelda manages to keep her tone neutral, although her stomach jumps inside of her. Of course, Sabrina had told her everything, right? He must be referring to that silly business over Nick and the Dark Lord. She's awfully sensitive about those things, foolishly so. But she hadn't quite confided in Zelda about her broken heart, even though she seems to have told Magnus all about it.

While she wouldn't admit it, it hurts a little. To know Sabrina wouldn't come to her when she needs help.

"It's been difficult for her, of course." She leans forward slightly, giving him her full attention. If Sabrina isn't going to talk to her directly, there may be some benefit in seeing what information she can get secondhand. "She was here alone for a long time, I'm sure this... family she's built for herself is important to her. Has she confided in you about how she is feeling after all of that?"

"Not really," Magnus says, ignorant of the fact that they're discussing two different things - though they're not all that different, are they? They're about someone they care about, and how she deals with things. Or, rather, how she doesn't deal with things. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I asked her how she felt after all of that, and she just insisted she was fine. That she could just go back to life as normal. Which is great, don't get me wrong! Things should go back to normal! But, uh..." Magnus shrugs. "I dunno. I worry. Everyone needs someone to confide in. And I thought when you showed up, that meant that she'd finally have a proper family to confide in. Kids always think they can deal with this shit on their own, you know? It's not good for 'em."

"That's always been Sabrina's way. She holds everything in, and then lashes out in ways one wouldn't expect. It's... frustrating."

Intolerable, really, but Zelda has done her best to handle her. Having a teenager isn't at all what she thought it would be, and while Zelda never regretted taking Sabrina in, she does often wonder if it had been the best choice. Perhaps she would have been better off raised in the mortal realm.

Granted, considering recent events, maybe things happened the way they should have.

"I'd hoped her having friends here would encourage her to be more level-headed. And allow her to confide in people who are, perhaps, more understanding of her situation." Zelda takes a deep breath. "She's not well equipt at asking for help and I'm afraid sometimes I am not equipt to handle it."

"Maybe she's confided more in friends her own age. Maybe I'm just a little over the hill for that," Magnus points out, though his tone is sympathetic. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"If there's anything I can do, I'll do it. I'd, uh, rather consider myself your ally with this sort of thing. But I never had kids. No brothers or sisters either, which means no nieces or nephews. Me and kids, we're just figuring it out as we go along." He offers Zelda a crooked smile. "You got any of your own kids? Or just Sabrina?"

Zelda pauses at that, looking down at her hands. It hurts a little, thinking about never having children of her own. But Sabrina was her child. Sabrina was all she had left of her brother. The girl was her world and if that didn't make her a mother, she wasn't sure what would.

"No, just Sabrina." She looks up at him again. "She lived with me, my sister, and her cousin, who we'd also taken in. Begrudgingly, may I add."

She loved Ambrose, but he was a constant embarrassment. Yet.

"But she has confided in you. What, specifically, if you don't mind? She's told me everything, but I would appreciate an avenue as to how to support her in a more efficient way." She thought Sabrina's obsession with Nick was frustratingly adolescent, but it was something she had to deal with eventually. And just like she'd been there for Sabrina during her fallout with Harvey, she had every intension of being there for her now.

"Ah, begrudgingly or not, family's family. Nice that you've got a big one. I always wanted brothers or sisters growing up, but I think my folks figured that I was a big enough handful for five children. Which was, I'll tell you, a hell of a lot more normal than just having the one."

But that's a distraction, isn't it? They're not here to ramble about their own family situations or lack thereof. They're here to talk about Sabrina. He rubs ruefully at his chin, trying to sort out his thoughts on the matter. "When I asked her about the Mandrake -- apologized to her for not doing more, she brushed it off. Apologized to me about it and said she was all right. Which she wasn't. No kid would be, after all that. But nothing anyone could say would make her fess up to that, and pushing did no good." A muscle in his cheek jumps as he frowns lopsidedly at the ground.

"She didn't like Lilith fooling her, though. I can tell you that much."

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