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WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

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Harry, when he heard about this swear in, was in right away. Suspicious, but in. The idea of a resort, and of warmth, and just enjoying the days off.

He arrives with a suitcase, mostly empty, and supplies for a nice holiday, and definitely signing up for a room at the hotel. Afterward, he wanders, checking out the various rooms, enjoying the view out over the mountains, and bothering employees because he is that guy who asks questions about the hot springs.

When he is booked with someone he does not know, somehow, he will be one of those people who yells about it. And possibly considers teleporting home briefly.

The late-night alarm startles the wizard awake, and that always makes for a bad time. For someone.

But the next morning brings a hike where he can be seen taking small samples of grass and soil, and taking pictures of areas along the way.

One more stop at a hot tub before he goes, for relaxation, brings him grinning and relaxing a little more.

Edited 2020-01-10 22:25 (UTC)

Well, goodness. This sure is a production, isn't it? So luxurious! There are so many stressed out event planners and security personnel around! Incredible! You would think with all the fuzzy slippers around, some people wouldn't be so wound up tight, but...honestly? Vacation settings seem to just do it for some folks. To say nothing of the staff.

That just means it's as much a resort to a monster who subsists on negativity, really. So, why not?

o1.
Upon arrival and the initial touring of the facilities, Xellos is the most model of tourists, plucking up every business card, free sample, and pamphlet within reach. Why not? They're free. Sure, he might accidentally stuff some of them in someone else's bag in the midst of following along, but hey. What's the harm? Here, have a bar of soap.

"My, my!" he declares in-between stops on the tour, speaking to no one in particular. "This government sure knows how to do bribery, don't they? I wonder if everyone gets their own servant to boot."

o2.
Honestly, doors are for chumps, but Xellos is willing to play ball and find the door his key card corresponds to. Whosoever is behind this one gets to be part of that lucky 5% chance of rooming with a serial killer, so good on them!

...Mass murderer might be more accurate, but who's splitting hairs? Xellos certainly isn't!

Anyway, he's going to just jimmy open this door and barge in without knocking, letting out a cheerful hello.

"Hello!"

See?

Oh-- right, also: He might not actually be entering his room, because "playing ball" means "just doing whatever the hell he wants."

o3.
Xellos' very first fire drill! How fun! Full of very happy, very mostly not-awake or sober people in various states of undress! He gives the lot a thoughtful once-over, enjoying his fluffy, three-sizes-too-big complimentary robe while bouncing his staff hand to hand.

"I don't smell any fire," he points out to the nearest within earshot. "Shouldn't they be setting a fire by now?"

He certainly wouldn't mind helping them out.

o4.
Please be very careful where you decide to veer off the hiking trails to pee or whatever, because Xellos is a fucking creep and he will be just suddenly lounging in a tree near and above you, munching loudly and humming, and it will be uncomfortable. It's a thing he does and he's not ashamed, because shame is for losers and also humans.

He might also "accidentally" upset some local fauna and set them off in a fussy frenzy by his "bumbling" around. As one does.

o1.
Let's make one thing very clear here: While Cecelia may have decided to investigate this venture under the pretense of being curious about the various arts of relaxation put on display, she is actually here to leer at hot boys and stew in her own frustrations while other people have fun. It's a thing she does. This, at least, involves less sand than the beach party.

Are you a hot boy wandering around this resort in some degree of undress? She sees you. You're seen. Congratulations. Calling her out on it might cause a minor implosion, but maybe just appreciate that she appreciates what you've got going on until horrid eye contact is made and ruins her day for the next twenty minutes? Gods forbid she already knows you and she has to reconcile her ogling somehow to avoid guilt; maybe she'll blame it on the surplus of smelly potions and concoctions being hawked in the spas and saunas.

She'll sit well away from instances where she herself would have to be in any state of undress because gods are you kidding? Strangers touching her bare skin? Seeing her bare skin? Being perceived?? Ew. No, thanks, these cushiony couches are fine and she and her journal will have a great time until she realizes the same four songs have been playing and they're actually awful.

And also--

"...Omigods." She's picking at one of the leaves of the plant near her seat. "This is just a wax plant. Gross."

o2.
It honestly figures that something like this would happen? That instead of trying to rest and meditate in a rock garden, there'd be a wretched, piercing noise, and then a bunch of people would have to get shepherded out of their rooms at an ungodly hour. She might not be surprised, but that doesn't mean she has to take it gracefully.

Scowling darkly at the growing cluster of people waiting for the fire alarm to be investigated, she picks up her book and slips her slippers back on, meaning to have herself meander well enough away that the chatter becomes less a nuisance and more just background noise. It does mean wandering toward the hiking paths in the dead of night, but...engh, whatever. She's got some tiny fairy lights floating alongside her to keep her way lit, which may be worth investigating if one spies them from a distance. Very cryptid-y, you know.

o3.
There is a point amidst all of these activities -- a point closer to lunch time so she can grab a bite --that Cecelia can be found seated, hunched forward with her chin cupped in her hands, frowning and staring very longingly in the direction of the nail parlor, watching someone get theirs done. That's the kind of pampering she actually craves, but she's really not brave enough to ask for it, nor patient enough to sit through it.

But... Ugh. She wants some of those things! Maybe if she gets up and asks to borrow some of those colors and the buffer? For, like, an hour or two?

Where's Finn. Finn would do it. Maybe Finn would even steal it? Is stealing justified in this situation?

Probably not, but. Come oooon...!

Tina's recent shenanigans really should have gotten her banned from this trip, she thinks. Indeed, she feels like she should exile herself because she really has been an idiot lately. But perhaps, she figures, she needs to stop being hard on herself and a spa trip will be a better way for her to let out some of her anger and frustration. And she knows this is a better way to honor the relationship she and Iris had than throwing trash around.

So, despite the issues, she is determined to have a good time and let herself be pampered. She'll chat amicably with anyone who's nearby, including whoever she ends up being paired with for the hotel room, and when the fire alarm goes off, she entertains herself by tossing snow around with her powers.

The next day, she joins in on the hike; however, by the midpoint, it's obvious that she's getting fatigued and her good cheer is wearing off, replaced by grumpiness as she crouches over a fire, roasting marshmallows.

[ bow is a hot boy in a state of undress. with a small towel criss-crossed around his chest and white shorts. he doesn't seem particularly bothered by it either when he notices her staring. ]

Uh, is something wrong . . . ?

[ bow is shivering in his fluffy white gown. So much for a relaxing vacation. at xellos' question, he frowns. ]

I'm pretty sure that's not how fire drills work.

[you know, sometimes when you get lost in your own head enough, people noticing you stops actually being a thing? like they're just part of the little movie you're trying to stage, and the eye contact is just a person pending, waiting for direction...

...until they're not, and you suddenly remember you're not playing pretend and the person looking back at you is an actual person looking back at you. Cecelia blinks a couple times before jolting upright with alarm.]

Huh? What? Sorry, what? Who?

No? [he tilts his head.] What do you mean? If it weren't wouldn't it be an anti-fire drill?

I mean, it's just a practice. That's why they call it a drill. It's only for emergencies.

You were staring.

[ thankfully, bow isn't particularly fussed, just concerned. ]

So I asked if something was wrong?

Emergencies? Which emergencies here would require dousing the place in fire?

[bristling:] N-No I wasn't! Omigawds, why would I?! That's so rude! Excuse me??

[oh gods oh jeez oh gods oh jeez QUICK THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOT IT:] Why were you staring at me thinking I was staring at you?

[nailed it.]

[ bow smiles, bemused. ]

It's more to make sure people can leave a burning building in safety and quickly. I guess fire is a potential hazard here.

[ uh. ]

Well, you just were standing there for a bit so I just thought you might have been lost? Or needed something?

Huh. [he taps his staff idly on the stone tiles, looking about.] But this place is banking on all this water...

It might just be routine. A lot of places do that, just in case, when it comes to disasters.

My dads did fire drills for the library all the time and they lived in the middle of nowhere.

Don't worry! Finn's here!

He has no idea why she seems so frowny, though... "Hey! Everything okay?"

First of all, I'm not standing.

[beat.

um.]

...I wasn't standing. A moment ago, I mean. Second of all...

[beat.

um.]

Well. I. I don't know. [deflating. kill her. drown her. throw her off a mountainside.] Never mind. Sorry for the...mixup... [smother her with a eucalyptus-scented pillow.]

01. two imPorts chilling in a hot tub

Sal didn't give this whole swear-in activity much thought beforehand; intensive planning and preparation aren't really her strong suit. Honestly, it seemed more like a chance to break out from the doldrums, and that is as good of a reason as any to get away for a bit. Happy New Year? Anyway, sorry to anyone innocently walking in for a relaxing hot tub experience to find a white-haired woman in a bikini, her torso scattered with what looks to be...sword scars? And her arms covered in tattoos of sky scenes, birds, thunderclouds, and angry dragons. She doesn't seem too happy-go-lucky, either, what with that far off look in her eyes.

02. and they were roommates...

Sal had badgered the front desk enough to at least start with the assumption that she wouldn't have to share a room. She likes privacy and definitely doesn't appear to be someone who likes sharing space with random strangers. Stepping inside her room, with what looks to be...yeah, that's a sword at her waist (she couldn't leave Jeff behind), she notices another person's luggage straight away.

In her defense, she doesn't immediately draw a weapon but the reaction isn't exactly thrilled either.

"Who the fuck?"

03. fire drills

"It can't be that serious," Sal says, barely tolerating being stuck in a crowd of tired, agitated strangers. She's half-tempted to fly around the building to see if she can spot any flames.

Eventually she finds somewhere to perch and take out a bottle of whiskey. Whatever irritated and sleep-deprived person beside her is offered a swig, even if she barely turns to register their presence. "Not that I ever get any decent sleep anyway," she grumbles.

04. mountains

The next day seems to get off to a better start. Foregoing the spa luxuries to explore the mountain, Sal flies up above the path and treeline, a strange view to anyone hiking along below. Eventually she grows bored and stops at some of the rest areas, helping to keep the fires lit and trying to make whatever a "sm'ore" is.

"Do you know how to put this shit together?" She's got the stick and marshmallow, but what about the chocolate...?

Hey. Hey, it's okay.

[ bow is immediately contrite, pacifying. ]

Sorry if I offended you.

Cecelia perks up at the sound of his voice, blinking out of her gloomy daze and looking over his way.

"Oh. Hey, you. What's--" Everything okay? Her eyes wince before she pushes a smile, waving her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about me. Did you see?" She gestures toward the parlor. "They do nails here. You like that stuff, right? You should go."

Oh, don't-- [grimacing.] Don't...apologize if you didn't even do anything and I'm the one being...engh... Whatever. Forget it. I'm just gonna...go... [wow, she is like, extremely bummed out now. like, almost more bummed than embarrassed? but also still pretty embarrassed. but that's like a lifestyle at this point, so???]

[he makes a thoughtful sound, craning his neck so he can peer upward.]

Well, I suppose if one is in the middle of nowhere, one must find useless ways to entertain one's self.

[ bow shrugs. ]

It probably gets lonely here too. There's only so much you can do.

[helpfully:] You could set something on fire on purpose.

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Harry Dresden | Registered Hero | OTA

it's a secret, but it's ota

i'm so sorry, ota

Tina Belcher | OTA

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( 03 )

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o3 - its short im sorry eek

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Sal the Cacophony | OTA

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short and SWEET just like YOU

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