maskormenacelogs | (no subject)

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Eyebrows arch.

"You sound very pleased about that."

"Sure. It's awesome." Yeah, he sees no issue here.

"Have you done this to many of your enemies?"

Enemies, he hopes, and not just random people or acquaintances like himself.

Matthew shrugs. "Loads of people, sure. I haven't kept track since I was a kid."

"That... sounds very deadly. Luckily for me you're very relaxed and in a good mood here, right?" He says jokingly.

It may be a joke, but it's also true.

"I am," he agrees. "Besides, you haven't annoyed me. So I guess after this little vacation we all get sent home to do... whatever?"

"We live our lives. Play the hero," he shrugs. "Whatever you want, I guess. Although the government here may frown upon random deaths by exploding heads."

He sighs. "That's funny. Back home, they're responsible for teaching me how." He shakes his head.

"This is going to take some getting used to. Well. At least I know you. ...you got a costume?"

"I'm sure they would have work for you with special targets, if you asked. Just no randomness. That'll earn you a criminal record."

He watches his nails being buffed for a moment. The attendants have wisely decided to ignore the conversation.

"I have the greatest superhero costume. Custom made for me and designed for maximum impressions and effectiveness."

Some were not so flattering impressions. He does get a lot of mockery, particularly from those who know of him from other dimensions. But he won't listen to that.

Now this is something that they at least have in common. "Oh yeah? What's it like? Leather? Spandex?"

He has no idea what he's about to walk into.

"Oh, special fibers. Wool blends. Armour. I don't have it with me... but-- wait," he reaches to the side where he has a small messenger bag and pulls out his phone. He flips through some photos on the touch screen and eventually finds the ones he wants to show, holding the device out for Matthew to see. "Here."

There's a set, seemingly posed to show off every side. As well as an action shot apparently taken by his fans while he was flying through the cities - set up by himself, of course, since it's on his phone...

There's a lot to like. The structure, the colours... even the cape. Matthew had a cape, when he was younger. But....

"What's with the fishbowl?"

He gives the heavy, annoyed sigh of somebody who has been asked that question too often.

"It's not a fishbowl. It's a helmet. What shape do you expect a helmet to be apart from round?"

"Oh. I think it's because it doesn't have a visor? So it looks glass all the way around. It looks like a fishbowl, man."

Still, it's not that bad, so he adds, "But I've seen dumber. And the rest is cool."

He raises his eyebrows but then relaxes again.

"There's a reason for the lack of an obvious visor. It's not necessary. It's like mirrored glass. I can see through perfectly and I have all the internal readouts just as clear on the surface. I don't need outsiders seeing any of that."

"Oh." He tilts is head to the right, then nods. "So it's functional. Got it. Hides your face too, so that's good if you're keeping a low profile."

Not that this guy seems like the type to keep his identity secret.