(no subject)

[maskormods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

Comments

Re: III

[lootsnshoots]

Nope, no key swappin'. Didn't think this was gonna be that kinda weekend. Not unless she's real sneaky-like and switched them while I wasn't lookin'.

[Cayde leans into the hallway and checks for Elena, doesn't find her, and then rights himself so his head is back in the room again.]

She's not out there, pal.

[bookkeeper]

[ A heavy, disappointed sigh. ]

I mean, being sneaky-like is her middle name. She keeps me on my toes because of that alone.

[ Nate motions for him to come on in. ]

Guess it’s just you and me. Unless you wanna bail. Wouldn’t blame you.

[lootsnshoots]

Sneaky's a good quality. You have fine taste in women, my friend.

[He slinks back into the room and shuts the door behind him.]

Nah man, I can hang. Whatcha up to?

[bookkeeper]

I mean— [ He can only shrug a shoulder, trailing off. There was Elena and then Chloe and then somehow he’d found his way back to Elena and she’d accepted him. There wasn’t much else he could say to that, which is why he’s glad for the change in topic. ]

Not much. Sketching, mostly. [ His notebook is lifted slightly, a half drawn sketch on the page. It just so happens to be of his wonderful wife-to-be (of course) sitting in some hot springs with her hair loosely piled on her head. ] Winding down from the day.

Speaking of which, what do you think of the place?

[lootsnshoots]

[He gives the sketch an earnest thumbs up.]

Nice. Good work on the hair. It's all [He wiggles his fingers around his skull.] wispy.

As for this joint? It's a little too much but sometimes a little too much is just enough once in a while, you know? Minus points for the rabbit food, though.

[bookkeeper]

That’s Elena. [ He mimicked the wiggling fingers back at him. ] Wispy.

You don’t care for the salads? Some of them aren’t bad. Wouldn’t mind a steak and maybe a teriyaki rice bowl. Or something fancy like that. But I guess we can’t be that picky considering how much crap’s gone on over the last few months.

[lootsnshoots]

Oh now teriyaki I could get into. Meat, rice, sauce? That'll put meat on your bones.

[He takes a seat, pulls a deck of playing cards from the sleeve of his robe, and starts shuffling them while he talks.]

You know, considering all the crap we've been through why not have something nicer than sad wet, tossed leaves?