(no subject)

[maskormods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

Comments

jaime reyes | ota

[khajidont]

mani/pedi

[ Jaime doesn't get very far before being accosted by the mani/pedi staff, looking for something to do; they're here to serve, and few imPorts seem to actually want to indulge on the more cosmetic side of affairs. And even Jaime, who's terrible at saying no, is already backing away. ]

Oh, um, no thank you. I'm good. For real. I work at the garage, it'd just get all messed up anyway.

[ We've got Blue Beetle nail art! One exclaims, shoving the book of designs into his hands. ]

...huh, would you look at that.

various baths/rooms

[ Otherwise? Jaime's enjoying the facilities! He generally deigns to keep a t-shirt on at all times over his swim trunks, something he used to get away with on the basis that he didn't want anyone to see the Scarab on his back, but he's just used to it now -- and, okay, maybe he's a little shy wandering around in various states of undress when everyone else here seems to have the physique of a model, superhero, or worse, a model superhero. Jaime may be an actual superhero, but he's a little lacking on the whole buff-and-tough side of affairs. He can be found dipping his toe in some of the baths, sniffing curiously at some of the stranger ones - "hey," he might say to his neighbour, "does bathing in a bunch of wine really do anything?" - or, more importantly, checking out the sauna.

Which is where most people can find him, a cheerful puddle of a man on the bench. ] Okay, [ he might say. ] I'm sold on this one. Screw winter, I'm just gonna stay in here.

the saladenning

[ When it's finally time for dinner... Jaime doesn't fancy himself one of those macho men who's too good for a salad. He frequently eats it, in fact (though generally premade, straight out of the bag). In this case, however, he looks at the bar of raw fish and salad and lets out a mournful little sigh, prodding with tongs at a particularly mournful looking piece of lettuce. ]

...there are grills outside. I wonder if they've got any hot dogs instead.

3 am

[ As with everyone else, Jaime's outside, looking a little peeved at the interruption to his beauty sleep, and looking even more peeved because he's currently only in a ratty old t-shirt that he clearly threw on and some boxers, hands tucked underneath his armpits. ]

What's the point of all those saunas if they're just gonna make you freeze your butt off anyway? Geez, it's freezing.

[ He can technically make his own clothes, or put on his armour, but... that seems a little dramatic. The latter of which, anyway. He doesn't want to seem like as big of a weenie as he is. ]

wildcard

[ Up for anything; just throw it at me! ]

[fauxmarth]

Oh, how charming!

[a wild princess appears behind his seat at the nail station, observing the beetley nail art being offered.]

What a sweet little tribute to your likeness. Are you going to get it on your own hands for a time?

[khajidont]

[ Jaime wrinkles his nose. ]

I dunno... I don't think I'm much for nail polish. It seems like it'd get in the way, you know? I'd just pick it all off. [ Jaime is, admittedly, a notorious picker; he gnaws on his cheeks, scrapes at his cuticles, picks at the dead skin on his lip, tears apart any frayed edge he can find on himself or anything else. It's not one of his better traits. ]

Are you gonna get one?

[fauxmarth]

[of course he is. his gross bug armor grows on then peels off, right? nasty boy.]

Maybe just colors. Anything they mean to have glued on my fingers will break off right away in training, so it's no good. [and the prospect of just taking a week off of combat or training is not even a thing in her mind, obviously.] It'd be a feat for anything to last more than a couple days, but...maybe that's the challenge of being here?

[if being at a spa resort can be considered at all a challenge.]

[khajidont]

[ Jaime can't help but laugh. ]

Being here isn't supposed to be a challenge. You're here to relax. You're supposed to, like, forget about all the other crap and decompress and get massages and stuff? And I guess get yourself painted?

[ He pauses. ]

I dunno. I've never been to a spa before, but I've seen a lot of them on TV.

[fauxmarth]

[she scrunches her nose, smirking a little at being called out.

after a sigh:] Well, if you submit to some painting, perhaps I will, too. You'll have to lead by example, as ever, Sir Beetle.