maskormenacelogs | I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]

[ Well, Kasumi is at least relieved that his expression takes on more of a youthful, teenager tone as opposed to his irrepressible, unadulterated anger of past. ]

Moving on... Tetsuo, I--

[ She pauses. I'm sorry was the rest of that aborted statement, but--what, exactly, was she apologizing for? There's a beat or two that passes before she starts back up. ]

I'm really sorry. About everything that happened to you.

[ And she knows none of it was her fault, per se, but that can't mean she can't feel bad about it. ]

[Pan's words come to mind, ones he'd reflected on a lot lately. He'd said he'd get everything he deserved- and at the time he'd believed that to mean he'd finally win against the world that had always held him back.

Powerless, at the mercy of a world experience taught him was always merciless, he was beginning to reach a different conclusion now..]

Why? Why would you...

[There's too many ways to follow that up, so he lets silence fill in instead. Now that paranoia makes him think about it, how many people want him dead?

It really should be like... everyone.

Why would anyone be sorry?]

[ Because Kasumi would argue that it wasn't his fault he was manipulated by a truly vile human being. That part of the responsibility falls on those around him for not being able to support him -- but she also knows that Tetsuo did everything in his power to push those people away; hell, he even hurt Ken, so while Kasumi might be sorry for what happened to him, she might not forgive him entirely just yet.

But in the first place, no one deserves to die like Tetsuo just did. Made into some toy, some tool for some evil plot, a supposed spectacle for others' horror -- it still sickened her to think about it. ]

Tetsuo. [ she draws in a deep breath. ] I don't know much about the kind of place that you and Kaneda come from--only that it's shitty. But you were mistreated by the world around you, and someone took that hurt and manipulated you. That's not your fault.

It is!!

[His eyes snap wide open, looking at her lost and scared, startled by his own outburst. They close the next, looking forcefully away. There's no oppressive aura, no sense of danger on the horizon here. Just a teenager on the verge of tears.]

It was months. I knew him that long - since I got here...

If I'd looked inside his head, I could have seen what he was plotting! I had that power, but I didn't use it, not once in all that time! I admit, maybe he manipulated me... but I let it happen! I didn't even think of it before he-

[His shoulders tremble, head ducked against his chest, fists clenched.]

You saw it, right? Everyone did... I even let him -

Hey, hey...

[ She feels for this boy, she really does. Sometimes his actions are unsettling, sure, but if you consider the other company that Kasumi typically keeps both here and at home, he's not so bad. He even reminds her time and time again of what Jack must have been like when she was younger, and that truly breaks her heart.

So she tentatively reaches out to place her hands on his shoulders-- slowly, to give him time to pull away should he want to. ]

You were a victim here, too, Tetsuo. He killed you. Who knows what he could have done to you if you tried to look into his mind. Even without doing that, he got into yours, used all of your fear against you. That's wrong.

[Tetsuo only flinches when her hands reaches him, but he stays rooted to the spot, shaking under her palms. He sniffs once, trying hard to not break down again. Always it's like this- no matter what he tries. He can never escape that pathetic weakling of a miserable little kid he kept swearing he wasn't anymore.

Now she got to know that, too. Not that it really mattered anymore.

For a moment, he opens his mouth, trying to find words, but can't seem to get them. He bites down on his lip instead, unable to look her in the eye.

She could kill him, instinct keeps whispering. Anytime. She could hurt him. She knew so much already; he'd told her more.

But he can't get himself to pull away.]

[ ... Kasumi may live to regret this, but she can feel the boy literally shaking beneath her touch, and trying his damn hardest not to break into tears in front of her, so...

She pulls him into a hug, leaning just far enough so that he can rest his head on her shoulder, in case he needs to. ]

It's okay to cry, Tetsuo.

[Tetsuo's palms brace against her shoulders weakly, fear seizing him up completely as Kasumi moves in closer, anxiously arching his back and twisting a little as he can feel hands around him. But nothing happens, and even if it did, his with his malnourished, largely wrecked body alone could do nothing to stop it. He doesn't have the strength, and he's too tired to fight anymore.

What is she doing?! People don't do this. Adults never do this. Caught in a war between terror and trauma, his poor attempt at stoicism crumbles. What's he supposed to do?!

Strong people didn't cry; Kaneda didn't cry. He'd tried so hard to be strong for once...

Tears run down his cheeks, hot and humiliating, and the added shame and anger at his own poor self control only makes him cry harder. He shakes his head sharply against her - no, it's not okay!! - but the tears just won't stop, breath coming in ragged gasps, and even if he did want to talk, he's not sure if he could.

Without consciously realizing it, his half-formed attempt at pushing her away ends with his hands closing into fists, one anchoring him to her shoulder as he sobs brokenly into the other.

If she kills him, fine. He doesn't even care anymore. It'd be a mercy.]

[ "It's okay to cry" always gets them, in the end.

Her body is as tense as his, but she doesn't move away, doesn't budge when he finally just lets himself cry onto her shoulder. If this were Ken, she would reach up and try and soothe him with a gentle hand on his head or back--but this is Tetsuo, so she just remains as she is for now, even when her heart is breaking for the poor kid. ]

You can work through this, Tetsuo. You're going to have to. But you can do it.

[In that moment, it's all he can do to stay standing. Even though the words are a little garbled, and very soft, he does try to reply this time.]

You don't get it. There's nothing to work through... it's all over!

[ If absolutely nothing else? Kasumi has a great ear, is a great listener. You don't get this far in her line of work without knowing how to pay attention. ]

It's not all over. You have a second chance, Tetsuo. Most people don't get that after they die.

[ Keiji certainly didn't. Neither did Thane. Mordin. Legion. ]

To do what?! Die all over again?!

[Frustrated, he grips even harder at her shoulder, pushing back enough to lift his head away. He thought he had an idea what he could do with his life. But now... he's powerless, directionless. He's of no use to anyone, especially himself.]

That happens back there, too! Kaneda told me!

[ Well, this is brand new information that Kasumi doesn't know what to do with -- seriously. She just looks at him in shock for a silent moment, her lips slightly parting as she draws in a quiet gasp. At length, her mouth snaps shut, and she takes in a deep breath before she responds. ]

I'm--sorry. [ A beat, and then she continues, ] But listen, Tetsuo. You have a chance, right now, right here, to live the life you don't get to have at home. Isn't that worth something?

I don't know anymore...

[He's not known what to do with that information, either, for a very long time. Maybe he did the wrong things with it. But what else could he do? He'd had to try - he just hadn't realized that he also had to fail.]

Well, that's fine.

[ She doesn't blame him, in the least. Not for being confused about what to do with his life -- hell, a lot of people who don't go through something so harrowing have gotten their lives all figured out. ]

You don't have to know everything and have everything figured out right away. I'm pretty sure no one ever has that. All we would ask is that you don't throw it all away.

[He's not sure what to say to that. His hands drop, one belatedly wiping at his face as if that'd do anything by now. He's got no dignity left. Hell, he's got nothing left TO throw away.]

It's not like it matters what I do.

[ She pulls away, finally, giving him one final pat on the shoulder before doing so. ]

It doesn't matter--to who? To you? Or are you trying to prove something to someone?

[To that, unfortunately, there's no good answer. Because it's been proved already, at least to him. If she's somehow caught the significance, his left wrist is bare. If not, there's been no reaction whatsoever, even with all the raw emotion and discomfort he's clearly displaying. He's beaten.

He's got nothing left to prove anymore. The world did that for him.

So.. all he does is look away still, not able to meet her eyes, and hunch further into the collar of Kaneda's jacket.]

Anyone.

[ She watches him continue to falter. She sincerely, truly feels bad for him; life has been entirely unfair to him, as far as she can tell -- the way he's done everything he has because he had some need to feel validated or that he mattered... Telltale signs of a person who lost everything. ]

You know, you remind me of someone I knew from back home. Crazy powerful, just like you are. She suffered immensely when she was younger, and-- well, she did a lot of terrible things to people, too. But you know? She's doing better now. She found something she could do that made something good out of her powers.

...

[He's quiet as she talks; instantly locked onto the words the second she starts talking. The quick description does- or did, at least, use to fit. As much as he's tempted to tell her it's not true anymore, he doesn't have powers... he can't make himself.

There wasn't a 'better' in his mind. This whole time. He'd come to realize it at some point, maybe some months ago, as the pain grew worse and he couldn't find a way to make things okay. After Pan, he's wary of promises, but there's only so far he can stand it; in a world without hope, he'll cling to any hint he can find. No one ever said it got better. He'd learned it didn't, not for people like him. And he could feel it, at the end. Maybe this person wasn't like him. Maybe she didn't have-

He looks up, trying to find her eyes under that hood, looking for any sign that she might be making this up. He has to know.]

What was it?

Well...

[ There's a little voice in Kasumi's head that sounds an awful lot like Jack's, chiding her for disclosing her Tragic But Motivational Backstory to some kid from another dimension. But... oh well. ]

She got recruited into teaching other kids with biotics how to use their powers. And it was a way for her to prove how strong she could be without hurting other people. [ or at least, not too badly! ]

[He's quiet for a moment. Someone else did that for him, when he got here; it's the only way he'd figured out how to actually use his telepathy instead of let it use him. And only through training did he figure out how to not break everything, ever, using the rest of his powers.

Did he need powers just to tell other people how to do it? It was just knowledge. He didn't lose that, at least.

It's a small desperate hope, but there IS a hope. If he can show someone else, maybe it's not all useless...]

...

Biotics... you mean people who do stuff like I can, right? I've heard that word before.

I'm not surprised that you have. But, yes, it's a... thing, where I come from, and it's a little similar to what you can do. [ and she doesn't have the energy to explain what biotics are, exactly, she'd rather leave that to an actual biotic-- ] There are a whole lot of folks here who come from the same place as I do that have biotics.

[He could always ask Kaidan for more specifics - 'it's kind of like telekinesis' is what he'd said at the time. ...meaning.... he nods.]

I think I know one of them.

[Meaning, how the hell did he miss that she was also from space.]

Chances are, I know them too.

[ Obviously. ]

Who is it?

[ Honestly, she sort of hopes it's Thane or Samara. They have this weird calmness about them that might help Tetsuo's utter lack of calmness... ]

I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]

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