maskormenacelogs | I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]

Tell me.

[So many people, apparently, kept shit from him, and he's sick of it. Maybe it's not as drastic as what Pan did. Maybe it's more. It's odd how losing the ability to read someone's mind makes you far more paranoid; the option alone was something he relied on existing way more than he'd realized at the time, nevermind how infrequently he used it.]

I'm not losing anyone else this week.

[if it seems like Hazel's tired and pleading, it's because she is. she understands where this demand is coming from and respects it, but just can't be open with him like this.

maybe some day, if it becomes a requirement for keeping this friendship, but not so close to losing her boyfriend. Hazel knows that it'll probably spell the end of things, like it always does, and she can't bear that right now.]

[Anyone connected to his old life probably had every reason to hate him, and want him dead. Tetsuo never much liked himself; why would anyone else? If the person who tried the hardest, did the most to say he cared... what's that say about everyone else? It's hard to understand why, now. The more he looks back, the less reason he can find...

It just doesn't add up anymore. Hazel actually sounds upset, too, adding to all of this

Breathing out a sigh, Tetsuo hesitates. Then, very quietly...]

...You remember that bike I had? I didn't steal it or anything. Pan gave it to me.

[she'd be lying if she said that she could see where this train of thought was going (was that what he saw her gift as? was that it?) but at least this is something Hazel can grapple with without the danger of bursting into tears.

it helps that even in an emotional encounter like this, one question surfaces that she can't keep herself from asking.]

Where the hell did he get a motorcycle?

[she'd never really thought about where it came from, honestly. Tetsuo had a bike, and then his housemate got in a fight with it and suddenly he didn't. it wasn't the kind of thing to dwell on.]

[Paranoia is a hell of a trip, Hazel. Tetsuo takes a shuddering breath in, adamantly not looking in her direction anymore.]

Magic, I guess. He did something, and it was there...

Oh, dude...

[she's not judging, but there is a definite sort of disappointed headshake in her tone. Hazel's dealt with enough mages of a myriad of stripes to know that there's no such thing as a gift with them; it's always a cruel joke or a manipulation.]

That's never a good idea, anyone who can do that is way too fucking selfish to hand that shit out.

[How the shit is he supposed to know that, he grew up on the streets of No Magicville. Although, you'd think he'd be smart enough to not get sweet talked into large enough gifts he couldn't say no. He'd wanted it so badly, he lost sight of anything else.]

Didn't think about it hard enough.

[yeah, no shit. but Hazel doesn't say that because she's pretty sure he's screamed that at himself enough times already to make it redundant. instead she just shifts a little, leaning up against the bed more with a quiet sight.

she can see what he's trying to say now...sort of. enough that she at least knows what she wants to say now, for whatever that counted towards.]

Look, I didn't put my damn name on the thing in the first place. If you don't want it, that's fine, do whatever the hell you want with it. I don't care.

[she crosses her arms, chews the inside of her cheek for a moment. all this fidgeting just to give her something to do other than think.]

But I gave it to you because you're my fucking friend. You're looking for some kind of motive? There it fucking is. I wanted to see you actually be happy for six goddamn seconds.

[and to thank him for putting up with her, but that part catches in her throat. she's too aggrieved with herself to manage total emotional honesty right now.]

[That gets a less shadowed look from him. Not claiming it initially, weirdly enough, is what manages to sell him on her sincerity.

For six seconds or so, he finds her face, studying her eyes.]

... no, I want it.

[He could admit to her how powerless he was, how she could do anything she wanted with him and there was no need for bribes. He almost does. He's trusted Hazel before with his life how many times? Out of necessity, usually, but it still happened without knowing anything about her.

And nothing happened.

Trust doesn't come easily. It's so easy to throw it away now. But he's too weak to do it.]

Just wanted to make sure...

[she meets his gaze evenly, no fear of him finding something damning in her face. Hazel doesn't realize how expressive her eyes are - a lot of her insecurities can be found there, along with the more positive feelings she tries so hard to cover up. no one can erect a total wall around themselves, after all.]

Yeah, I get it.

[boy does she get it. a little over a year here now and she still questions every kind gesture she receives, both large and small. Hazel can't believe her ability to lie is so good as to have fooled that many people - and any other possible explanation is terrifying.

Tetsuo's acceptance earns him a lopsided shrug and a bad attempt at a joke. what a prize.]

You're fucking stuck with me now, might as well get something nice out of it.

[even if he hadn't decided to continue trusting her, she'd have come back to visit anyway. she's too stupid to do anything else.]

[It's a vague, skittish trust. But the thin thread is still there; whatever she wants him for, it's not about what he can do. And, honestly, just being wanted at all is too tempting a lie to not cling to.]

I guess.

[It's not like he has anything he can offer back. All he's got is his life, which she could have taken a million times over...]

I know. You think I hang around people because they like me?

[she snorts, although it's not as good-humored a quip as it might usually be. the time has finally come when she's lost people to that, and it still hurts. Hazel had wanted so badly to believe that this place was going to be different.]

If it bothers you, just remember you still owe me for lunch that one time.

Oh, yeah...

[Normally, it wouldn't. He's not good at this whole repaying debts that aren't violent in nature thing, that's never been his strong point.]

I don't have any money. All I got are tokens.

[You could just wait a while and do your damn job if you even still have it, kid. No? Ok then.]

Good thing you've got all the time in the world, huh? I'm sure you'll think of something better eventually.

[it's weird to have him actually go along with her rather than bitch, but a conversation is a conversation. Hazel's more than happy to take whatever she can get.

and also not mention that all that time is more than enough payment, since wow emotions. totally hit her quota on that for the year.]

[He shrugs, but doesn't seem to see a point in arguing anymore. There's not really anything that comes to mind right away, which just helps feed his new self-evaluation.

But yeah, sure, he'll be here. That's all he's doing. Existing.

In the same space as someone else, at least.]

[Hazel seems perfectly content with this arrangement of quiet coexistence. after a moment or two of waiting to make sure he has nothing else to say, she pulls out her comm and starts playing one of the six million games loaded on there.

it doesn't always have to be talking, after all. sometimes a presence is just as reassuring as actually carrying on conversation. Hazel's just not really sure who's feeling most of that reassurance right now.]

[It takes five, maybe ten minutes before Tetsuo looks up to the ceiling again, over to Hazel, to the bed..Hazel again. As dedicated as he is to feeling miserable for himself, boredom creeps in. It's one thing to be miserable alone. Another to be miserable with someone else doing something.

He edges just slightly closer to try to see what she's doing.]

[if Hazel notices (and of course she does in this dead silence) she makes no indication of it. even if she wanted to, the game's got her full attention; it's some sort of tower defense thing, and judging by the intense battle going onscreen she's made pretty good progress in it so far.

if he angles himself right he's got a pretty good look at the action...right as another wave hits, much to Hazel's inner chagrin. god damn monsters.]

[This isn't a game style he's encountered yet. There's a lot to discover past pinball or pakkuman out there, and he's not spent as much time as he'd like exploring the depths of this strange new virtual world.

He even moves around a little on his perch to get a look at it, almost curious despite himself.

It looks like she's not really doing much. Stuff shows up and gets shot. What kind of game IS that.]

[the kind of game that immediately gets more difficult as soon as those enemies destroy one of her shooters and she realizes she doesn't have the resources to replace that particular kind.]

Shit.

[it's enough to get her to break the vow of silence they've got going on with a low curse as she scrambles to mitigate the sudden influx of problems.]

[Oh. Well. Now she's doing something.

The simple thing would be to just ask what she's doing, but Tetsuo's never been about the simple, sane solutions. He instead gives a glance to the back of her head, then back to the screen. He'll just quietly sit here and see if he works it out instead of talking.

Even when she clearly makes a mistake that he'd normally be fast to leap on her for, all he does is watch.

Okay, so she put something in that place, that's launching cannonballs at whatever those things are. Enemies,he's pretty sure.]

[she's got the situation up at the front stowed away (for now) but a bunch of assholes managed to get through in the scramble, and from experience in the past couple levels she knows some flying baddies are going to start filtering in any time now.

Hazel decides to kill two birds with one stone and set up some catapult-type stuff further down the line to finish off the stragglers and prepare for the horrors that lie ahead. she's frowning quietly at the screen, having almost completely forgotten why she was here in the first place. this game was so damn addicting.]

[By now, Tetsuo's got an idea what the basic premise might be. Blobby guys wander in, and buildings shoot at them. She added a few buildings, so that's the player's job in this. It seems pretty easy, actually.

Don't mind him edging just a little closer as he gets into a slightly less uncomfortable position.

The blobby things aren't even all gone by the time flappy things take their place. You could very generously call them bats or something, but they really look more like saggy furballs with comically undersized wings. Unlike the blobs, they're fast. Twice as fast. As a colorful swarm, they flood in en masse, completely ignoring one of the buildings altogether. Another on the frontlines just doesn't seem to be fast enough, but when it does hit, a lot of them drop and vanish.

They'll probably break all her stuff.

What's the point of this?]

[you want to keep talking mental shit about the quality of the enemies she's mowing down, Tetsuo? how about you try your hand at this and see how well you'd do!!

is what Hazel would be saying if she knew about all that shade he was throwing around in his head. but she doesn't, thankfully, and so her steady stream of muttered grumbling is directed exclusively at the game as the swarms descend upon her machinery and begin to systematically tear it apart. she just doesn't have the resources of prime placement available to keep up with this unless something changes - why the fuck did she think she needed so many cannons when she knew this was coming?? stupid stupid stupid.

the only thing that would make this worse would be-]

Fuck!

[THE REAPPEARANCE OF THOSE BURROWING ENEMIES FROM SIX LEVELS AGO. SHIT THERE GOES SOME OF HER REAR FLANK.]

[So, in other words, this is where Hazel's defense adventure ends.

Or so it really seems. Brand new buildings crumble as blob moles with long claws appear out of the ground. Old buildings fall to the wave of winged cotton balls. But the numbers are thinning. If Hazel can hold out-

Oh, wait, no, that's a tank enemy. Just one, massive and ponderously slow, making its laborious way across the ruins of the first tower...

Meanwhile, Tetsuo watches all this, trying not to be interested. He's supposed to be miserable. He's supposed to hate everything. And he is, and he does, but this is at least something else to think about...]

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