Kaneda Shotaro [金田 正太郎] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rassera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenacelogs2016-01-01 03:35 pm
rassera) wrote in maskormenacelogs2016-01-01 03:35 pm
Entry tags:
- † barnaby brooks jr. | n/a,
- † hazel lockwood | n/a,
- † ikki minami | sky king,
- † kaneda shotaro | n/a,
- † kazuma mikura | flame king,
- † ken amada | n/a,
- † komasan | the youkai king,
- † kururu sumeragi | pledge queen,
- † manolo sanchez | n/a,
- † max caulfield | n/a,
- † maya fey | the pink princess,
- † mewtwo | n/a,
- † minato arisato | n/a,
- † qubit | n/a,
- † rick grimes | n/a,
- † riku | darkeater,
- † tetsuo shima | n/a,
- † the iron bull | the iron dragon,
- † yayoi nakayama | roaring queen
I can move mountains, I can work a miracle [OPEN]
WHO: The residents of Nonah 05 + YOU!
WHERE: Nonah, Residence #005
WHEN: All month long (January)
WHAT: Nonah 05 open log for January Shenanigans
WARNINGS: Obligatory Bull and Tetsuo warnings apply.
Starters will be appearing in the comments. If you want something specific from any one person (Kanedarassera, Tetsuo iamtetsuo, Bull rideme and Ken amadaman), feel free to drop them a line and ask! Otherwise, feel free to add your own starters for the whole household or individual residents as you like.
WHERE: Nonah, Residence #005
WHEN: All month long (January)
WHAT: Nonah 05 open log for January Shenanigans
WARNINGS: Obligatory Bull and Tetsuo warnings apply.
Starters will be appearing in the comments. If you want something specific from any one person (Kaneda
rassera, Tetsuo iamtetsuo, Bull rideme and Ken amadaman), feel free to drop them a line and ask! Otherwise, feel free to add your own starters for the whole household or individual residents as you like.
no subject
Maybe...
[No, he forces his mouth to keep going. If he pauses now, stops for any reason...it'll never be spoken of again. He can't afford that.]
Maybe I'm the one that needs you!
[His own eyes widen at what his lips say, the soft ice building on his heart as he realizes just how exposed he is. Any poke or stab now would hurt worse than any concrete, any lamppost. He'd take a million of those beatings over a slow, painful stab here. Fear grips his heart like it did back in Pan's jungle.
Only this time, no one's able to talk him down from it. All he can do is wait for Tetsuo's reaction.
And hope...just maybe...that his answer was good enough.]
no subject
Silence falls, punctuated only by shaky breathing, rapid heartbeats and the creak of leather as all the tenseness leaves his shoulders. Kaneda's left to support his whole weight as Tetsuo drops brokenly against him. If it's a lie... it's one he wants to hear so strongly he can't bear to refuse it.
All these years, it seemed that Kaneda never needed him. He saw the proof of it everywhere; Kaneda had a place, had people who cared, had food and clothing and everything he could ever hope to want here. He found someone better than Tetsuo .. and that was the end of it. All those years of following him around, watching Kaneda do something and then double around to walk Tetsuo through it, or come back to save or help or somehow prove again and again that Tetsuo couldn't do it on his own...
When they parted, Kaneda was fine. Tetsuo knew he wasn't, and looking back... he'd known it for a long time.]
...you really mean that?
[Keep talking, Kaneda. Unlike last time, screaming futilely against pavement as Tetsuo tests his powers... he's listening to what you're really saying.]
no subject
[His voice sounds so tired, hoarse and raspy from the fight, from crying, from a lack of sleep. None of that really mattered right now, though, and he was pushing himself to say all this before he lets it stew in his mind until the next tragedy.
It's surprisingly easy to hold Tetsuo's weight up. He's considerably lighter than when he last remembered him.
Keep talking, Kaneda.]
You're my best friend.
no subject
His face presses back down to a wet shoulder, sniffing thickly]
Not because of me. [He presses his face down harder, clinging as if Kaneda'll vanish if he dares let go.] That was .. until you got someone better...
['What about Amada'.
He has to challenge it, just to be sure; if he doesn't now, the question will bother him forever, and he can't take not knowing anymore. He can't just accept what Kaneda's saying right away, there's too much that's happened. Pan's hinted too much, letting the concepts worm and take root in his subconscious until he can't separate the narratives anymore.]
no subject
[Kaneda's muscles tense in that hold, as if Tetsuo were trying to slip through his fingers at that very moment. Until he...got someone better?
What?
His eyes snap open immediately, cheek pressed into that mess of black hair.]
I never GOT someone better, idiot...
[But then Pan's message rings clear in his head.
"You've all but replaced him, anyways."]
Tetsuo...NO ONE can replace you.
no subject
[Pan said he was important. He was special. He mattered. Only one person in all the world could do what he could. One day, he'd get to show them all what that was. In the end... anyone could die, and that's all Pan needed him for.
His shoulders heave again, new tears threatening, eyes raw already from his earlier crying session. Back when he had his powers, he had some reason to be brave. He could do something. He could always do something. But now, even if he still had those powers, he's still helpless and he knows it. All that false confidence, all that ego, all that rage and blindingly bright power overriding his brain evaporated, leaving only him behind. He's not the hurricane Wanda described anymore. He's not the psychic.
He's just Tetsuo.
And that's never been enough.]
...Anyone could.
no subject
[It comes out before he can think, his eyes furiously biting back tears, although some may softly slide off into that hair he's resting his face on. He promised himself he'd never cry in front of Tetsuo. That he always needed someone strong to cry on.
Kaneda could do anything. He could defeat a magical entity. He could break a curse. He could make the impossible seem possible. His confidence poured out all around him as he walked, and people looked up to that. It was irritating and overbearing, and he probably made just as many enemies as he did friends. The streets he walked on were gold in his eyes. And everyone else could see it.
But no matter what Kaneda thinks, no matter what ANYONE thinks he can do...
In the end, he's just as human as the rest of them.
A street kid with no parents, making sure that his little brother didn't have to grow up in a world without hope.]
I just want my brother!
So shut up about this 'anyone' shit!
no subject
Kaneda's loud enough to make his ears ring, his voice echoing in Tetsuo's head. He barely even hears what Kaneda says after it, fixated on that one, single word.
Brother.
Like a moth to a flame, he circled the concept, enticed by it even though he knew it only existed to hurt him. Family doesn't exist; it always leaves him behind in the end. By now, Kaneda fit that bill; he'd done that repeatedly. But unlike any family Tetsuo knew about, Kaneda always came back.
If it's a lie, it's one that Tetsuo can't turn away from. It's stupid to trust after Pan, stupid to let himself believe anyone could care... but they've had so many years when Tetsuo never questioned it. Even now, after throwing him through lamp post, walls, doors, Kaneda brought him home. Even after shooting him, even after disowning everything Kaneda associated with, and after throwing away everything familiar between them...
Kaneda's first instinct is to hold him as he cries.
But Kaneda let him die. Kaneda left him for dead at the swear in. Kaneda tossed him out at the very start, even though he actually said sorry.
It's hard to know what to think beyond the pained ball of hurt and fear. Deep inside him, he manages to find one more reserve of strength, just enough to tense his arms and hug tighter than ever, trembling with exertion, exhaustion and raw emotion. New tears run hot down his cheeks, but Kaneda's shoulder is already way too damp to make much difference.]
no subject
He doesn't know what else to say. For once, he'd felt completely exposed. A fresh wound on chilly winter air, stinging every inch of him as he waits. Waits for SOME kind of reaction.
It doesn't come, not the way he expects, and there's a bit of a shuddering, defeated sigh escaping his lungs when Tetsuo curls against him, new tears soaking into that Tshirt. He doesn't do anything but press his face into that hair, hoping each second that he would say something. Anything that showed he still had a place in Tetsuo's heart, no matter how small.
Maybe family didn't exist.
After all, he never had one. But he'd take whatever this was.]
no subject
This time, in the echoing stillness, that little voice gets through.]
I...
[His throat feels wooden. His eyes ache. Everything hurts, and this time it's not because of his power. It's hard to hide the wince at how small he sounds, like he's barely there at all.
Brother.
He doesn't care if it hurts anymore; what hasn't? He just wants someone there that won't fucking leave and it's going to break him whether or not he says it. It's been too long since he felt like anyone really wanted him around, like this. When he died, he didn't feel as helplessly terrified and helpless as he does right now. Kaneda doesn't have his life in his hands now. He's got everything - his soul, his heart, what little spark of self he's held onto. This is where it all ends, probably; this paper scrap of a person will tear, and there'll be nothing left.
Tetsuo's never been the bravest. It takes every ounce of courage to just barely whisper the most terrifying thing he's ever said in his life, and still the only thing that keeps him from silence is that, for once, he's more terrified of what will happen if he doesn't say anything. He stumbles hesitantly over the woods, his tongue thick and wooden in his mouth, but this time, he manages to get them out.]
...I'm here, Kaneda...
[Maybe he won't be tomorrow. Maybe he never was. Maybe he died a long time ago, and has been dying in his dreams every night ever since. Maybe none of this was ever real, and maybe he just can't take it anymore.
But maybe, just maybe... he's... got a brother. That last spark of hope left that Kaneda felt just before he died still has a little light left before it fades forever.]
no subject
I'm here, Kaneda...
And it's like a breath of air into lungs that were drowning in anxiety. It starts off as panting breath, turning quickly into a soft chuckle as a few tears slide their way off his eyes and into Tetsuo's hair. This is all he could've ever wanted. And despite the past six months, despite being thrown into lamp post and concrete, despite shooting at him and burning his bike...they were going to be okay.
His arms settle comfortably around him, curling his legs in to completely envelope the boy in his body. Something he'd probably done as a kid, when it was storming, or the sounds of military helicopters flew overhead. It's less desperate now, adopting a stronger, more sure grip.
Tetsuo's answer resonates in him, echoing across every part of his body. Out of all the healers he had in this place, 1-9 on his speed dial, the extras that did first air or got him aspirin, nothing was more of a salve to a proverbial burn than what Tetsuo just said. It was all he ever wanted to hear since August, what he'd been holding on so long for.
Tetsuo was here.
His brother. His little spark of light that he'd protect until the day he died, and maybe help it shine just a little brighter. And it takes everything in him to work up this response, a soft laughter choked with threatening tears as his fingers run through the boy's hair affectionately. Only uttering two words as a response.]
Me too.