Import My Heart! - Are you afraid... of... the Dark?

[shadowglitter]

WHO: Odin Dark, those who auditioned for Import My Heart!, and... you?
WHERE: A MYSTERY
WHEN: 7th - 28th of February!
WHAT: This is the event log for Import My Heart!, a reALITY DATING SHOW STARRING YOU
WARNINGS: IDK?? NOTHING YET I'LL UPDATE THIS IF YOU GUYS START BONING IN THE HOT TUB I GUESS

So you think you're too good to get a date like the rest of us, huh? Gotta go on TV and show everyone what you're made of? Yeah, okay, tough guy. Welcome to Import My Heart!

We're done with Big Brother 3000-and-late. That's in the past. The Magnificent And Glorious And Brilliant God of Gold, Odin Dark, having gracefully taken the crown of America's first Import-only Reality TV show, has become quite the household name amongst natives. He's been revelling in countless TV appearances, flattering himself with endless praise and just generally drinking in the love and affection hE'S BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN FINDING IN HIS PERSONAL LIFE, but now, the time has come for him to stop getting in arguments on Bwitter about his hair. America's second Import-only Reality TV program is about to begin.

Import My Heart! Are you a bad enough dude to lock down the one and only Scion of Heroes? He of unquenchable justice, the light in so much darkness? It's time for twelve of you to try.

Early February 7th, when it's still dark out, contestants of Import My Heart! will be ushered onto a very spooky looking yacht that will sail them from the docks of Heropa to a distant, private island some eight hours away. The island is volcanic, with foamy waters, pitch black sand and rocky cliffs. Any questions about whether or not the volcano is real or just magicked together through Odin's illusions and the station's production team will be answered with a hefty shrug and vague references to some kind of deathmatch arena.

The rules of the show are simple. From the 7th to the 28th, contestants who auditioned for the show will be competing against each other for a chance to find love with the flawless hero of time, Odin Dark. On the 7th, 14th and 21st, a new mini-event will go up alongside opportunities for dates that contestants are encouraged to go on either with Odin, with each other, or with someone from home, if you smuggle them in on one of the daily boat trips to and from the mainland.

Some OOC notes! There are no eliminations - players just play until the finale on the 28th, at which point Odin will pick a winner in a ceremony befitting the gothic brilliance of both him and the show. On the 20th, when Shit Goes Down in the space/SK mod plot, players will be allowed dispensation to participate in the fight and return to the island at their own discretion, if they so choose - Odin will send off everyone who opts to leave with a speech and a promise to build statues in your honor (a promise he will immediately forget.) If you wanna leave at any time before then, too, that's fine! You're always welcome back.

Up the black sands and through woods of mostly dead pine trees, contestants will find... Darkhaus.

Darkhaus is a mansion tucked away towards the far coast of the island, up on high ground with a perfect view of the sea, the docks, and of course, the volcano in the distance. There's no part of Darkhaus that isn't absolutely covered in dark, gothic aesthetic; it's more of a vampire's dreamhouse than the glamorous mansion one might expect from a show like this.

It features gardens lined with roses (black, blue, purple and some seemingly made of literal gold), an elegant ballroom, grand entrance and dining halls, a library filled with books detailing Odin Dark's heroic adventures back home (all lies), a swimming pool filled with pitch black water and a stone astronomy tower towards the back. There's a kitchen filled with food sponsored by imPort businesses, some real but many of them not, and there are secret tunnels hidden behind bookcases and trap doors that give you no indication as to which room you might exit in after entering. All of them are littered with discarded coffee cups and fast food wrappers thanks to the production crew.

Each contestant has their own bedroom suite and adjoining bathroom, composed of suitably gothic interior design - four poster bed, damask wallpaper, so much silk and velvet - but there's a lounge area in the hall outside with plush couches and a harem bed large enough to comfortably fit a dozen people, if you'd rather have company while you snooze it up. There are a handful of other rooms that seemingly have no rhyme or reason for existing - the knife room is blood red from head to toe and completely devoid of furniture, but there are so many knives taped haphazardly to the walls and hanging precariously from the ceilings. There's a dance room, which Odin has enchanted with flashing lights and made entirely soundproof, so if you wanna get sweaty and rave, this is the place to do it - and finally, the wild animal room just has a shit ton of imported toucans and a cage marked for "the giant panther". Thankfully(?), the cage is empty, though that door sure is ajar.

The only two rooms in Darkhaus (and on the island as a whole, for that matter) that aren't covered in secret cameras are Odin's bedroom and the secret tunnel that connects it to the rose garden downstairs. Unless you're there, kiss your privacy goodbye.

Any OOC questions can be directed HERE, and any private concerns can be directed to me either via PM, through discord at southpaw#5212 or through plurk at southpaws. HAVE FUN, MAKE OUT, LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE

Comments

OOC stuff!

[shadowglitter]

QUESTIONS

[shadowglitter]

Direct any questions you might have over here!

PLOTTING

[shadowglitter]

Discuss any plans you might have over the month here!

IT'S YA BOII, PETER "SEACREST" MAXIMOFF

[quickfingers]

Yo so, as you know - Peter is going to be the host of the show (while also moonlighting as Paulina the Toucan,) and will be present through-out the month to make commentary, narrate things without rhyme or reason and maybe interview you if you're willing? That or pester you with questions 'til you robot-smack him across the face. Alternatively one of you can take pity on him and date him or help him build sick sandcastles by the beach.

Feel free to hit me up here or on plurk if you'd like an interview or have any questions, etc. (valleyheart) I will also be working on week by week summaries of events, dates and everything for a concise follow-up under each header at the conclusion of that week's worth of jazzy Darkhaus fun.

So yeah. o7

NURSE CHASE

[fehus]

Magnus has been enlisted as on-site medical staff for ImPort My Heart! While he rejected most of the #GothicFantasy uniform proposed by the producers (eg; Odin), he still can be spotted darting shyly off-camera in his delightfully gothic red cross nurse's cap and apron, toting a spooky bag of mostly chocolate and juice. Magnus will be present throughout the month for all your swoons of passion, uncool sunburns, shared athlete's foot, bruises, scrapes, and shenanigan-induced booboos! Also, like, if you want to just chill. Feel free to friend/ping me at my plurk for plotting or handwaving!

STAY SAFE AND KEEP HYDRATED YOU CRAZY KIDS - magnus chase, probably

LEGALLY BLONDE: THE DARKENING

[cigarbribery]

listen I'm funny but anyway

so Foggy Nelson is a lawyer! more relevant to this discussion, he's Odin's lawyer, and thus will probably be making weekly trips to see how things are going and Die a little inside at the Litigation Nightmare Mansion because it is a nightmare, Odin, why are you like this. he'll be available to consult for any legal questions the contestants or the crew might have, either by way of his phone number if he's not on the island or by catching him discreetly putting up like a safety sign on the door to the knife room.

technically he works concurrently with the network's legal department but in reality he can't believe they let this nightmare mansion pass. Jesus Christ. please no one get lawsuit-happy.

WEEK ONE

[shadowglitter]

Anything that happens on the island from the 7th to the 13th goes here!

EVENT

[shadowglitter]

It'll be late morning by the time contestants have docked on the island, but it'll be early afternoon by the time they've made it through the Spooky Gothic Woods and crossed the grounds to Darkhaus. Each contestant will be asked to enter the mansion one at a time by the show's production crew - the crew all wearing black, tailored suits and porcelain rabbit masks (which they all unanimously hate), as per Odin's instructions - and in true The Bachelor fashion, they'll be asked to introduce themselves to Odin and really make a moment out of it. Can you juggle? Backflip? Knock a man out with just the heel of your palm in one swift strike? Do your best. Odin's your test dummy.

The cameras are rolling now. Millions of people across America are watching your every move.

Odin will be waiting in the mansion's entrance hall, a tall, pitch black, open room with an impressive skylight. He'll be wearing his best suit and a nervous smile, his hair a mess despite the hours wardrobe spent on it, and once you've introduced yourself, he'll direct you to the rose garden outside - an open area with a spooky hedgemaze, the whole place adorned with fairy lights and ephemeral, glowing butterflies made of magic that leave dust of gold behind them with every flap of their wings.

The rose garden is set up with all you would expect from a typical party for the rich - food, drinks, skulls made of candy, shitty halloween toys that talk when you come near them, a hot tub filled with absinthe that absolutely cannot be good for you to sit in, a second hot tub filled with chocolate milk that absolutely cannot be good for you to sit in, so much god damn pizza, a wrestling ring for those who want to beat each other up, an outside arcade with like five different pinball machines, a face painting station, and, of course, a bouncy castle.

There's a table for games and conversation starters surrounded by big, plush sofas, if you want a place to lounge around in while you play never have I ever or would you rather or truth or dare or whatever it is people do at parties like these. Through a winding path between rose bushes that get steadily higher and more secluded, Darkhaus's swimming pool is here, filled with black water so dark it just eats light like a snack. On the opposite end of the garden is a surprisingly beautiful pond that's been frozen over by magic; Odin's built a snowman of himself in the isolated blizzard he conjured here earlier, but if you want to go for a skate or just look up at the clouds, this might be a nice place to get away to.

Primarily, your goal here is to just get to know one another, assuming you don't already. Just remember - all your import friends can see and hear every little thing you do.

Mingle log!

DATES

[shadowglitter]

Outside of every contestant's bedroom door is a small box hanging on the wall, the perfect size for a love letter. At the start of each week, contestants will find three opportunities for a date on a scrap of paper hidden away in there - they can pick one, or none at all, to either go on with Odin, another contestant (assuming they say yes) or someone from home (assuming you can convince them to come to the island on one of the boats that travel to and from the mainland each day). This week's dateportunities ARE AS FOLLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiking - The volcano is kind of a sticking point to the island, and though it's a fair ways away from Darkhaus, you could probably walk over there and back pretty easily in the course of one day. Which is great, because you're invited to check out that deathmatch arena everyone keeps going on about, but the studio ain't providing you with transport. Nice!

Unfortunately, the deathmatch arena continues to be illusive, because as soon as you get to the volcano, you'll find a landslide cutting you off from moving any closer towards it. Great. But the trip won't be a complete failure! On this date, you'll walk through the nice, dead woods surrounding Darkhaus, catching glimpses of pretty birds and wild deer and animals that absolutely are not native to this part of the country (that Odin absolutely smuggled in illegally). Teacup piglets, pygmy hedgehogs, little penguins, those fainting goats - all of them perfectly taken care of in little houses tucked away in the woods for you to play with or gawk at.

But there are also hornets and bears. So. Hornets and bears. And snakes. You probably won't run into them, but if you do, let's hope you're good at running. Or that you brought a snack, at least.

Stargazing - If physical activity isn't your style, there'll be a private yacht trip for you and your date partner to the middle of the ocean. The stars are beautiful out here with no light pollution getting in the way, and there's no place more private for you and who you're with to just kind of chill out. Well, you know. You're still being filmed, but. Still.

You'll be given an assortment of quiet activities to play around with, just the two of you. A canvas with paints, some instruments to play, some books to quietly read together - there'll be a candlelit dinner with food of your choosing, drinks, and the soft light of the moon will be all you'll need to see one another's face. Very romantic.

Hopefully you won't stray out too far - if you do, you might find that the yacht has run out of fuel and won't be able to get back, and if you wanna hit the island before someone comes and rescues you, you're gonna have to figure out how to do it all on your own. Yikes.

Tide pools - Tide pools! Why come to the beach if you don't check out all the dead shit that gets stuck in the rocks?

You'll be hitting the beach just before sunset, where you'll be allowed to build sandcastles and play in the dunes and (if Odin is with you) stand and admire how cool the goth aesthetic of black sand is. Honestly, it's a pretty chill date, where all you have to worry about is sand getting stuck in your clothes (and/or joints, for the more mechanical of us) for three days, and if you wanna just kinda take a nap with a capri sun and some tunes? Go ahead.

But if you want to hit the tide pools, you'll find starfish and seaslugs and a wide array of neat-ass fish-boys to look at. You'll also find a secret treasure map with a clue so incomprehensible you kind of just have to guess at what it's even saying. If you manage to figure it out and follow it and any other treasure maps it leads to, it'll guide you to a swimming hole in the woods where a nice, chill picnic has been set up for the both of you. Nice!

The picnic may have been ransacked by the couple who came here before you. Sorry.

WEEK 1 | OFF-DUTY & HERE TO HAVE FUN TOO

[quickfingers]

1. it's the gdamn beach

[When he's not doing his job lazily, he's not doing it at all and is instead chilling out on the black sand beach in a t-shirt and boardshorts for a breather. There are a few umbrellas out during the day to shade from the sun, an assortment of available towels and some food offered by production staff if you didn't think to pack your own lunch. Peter's got a basket next to him on a towel, a scattering of junkfood surrounding him and the most sick sandcastle he's ever built in his life.

It helps that the aesthetic makes it look cooler than it really is, but still.

He'll keep adding on to it, scraping out a moat before getting bored and maybe opting to make a giant sand dick instead. And from there he'll head out into the water, inviting people nearby to join him in either task - waving his hand at someone in the shallows to give him a hand.] I don't wanna lose these, can you throw them to my shit on the sand?

[He asks, a pair of aviators in hand - hopefully you say yes, 'cause he is throwing them your way regardless.]

2. late night snacks

[Hey sup, it's like 4 fucking AM and your host doesn't sleep. You might notice this because he's sitting in the Cool Gothic Kitchen™ with a spread of food across the counter and Rootbeer sleeping on the throw rug by his feet. The cameras are still running and he's not expecting to be on the clock here - all he really needs to do is get commentary at key points (dates, dramatic events of Odin's choosing, etc.) and is otherwise kicking back to let things unfold naturally.

So for now he's eating a whole pizza, poorly nuked from an earlier dinner spread. He tilts a little paper sign toward the most obvious camera in the room that promotes Porter Pizza: Hot & Fresh, right from the oven! without even changing his deadpan expression because he's still a brand ambassador and they're a Big Sponsor. Music quietly hums out of the earbuds he has wrapped around his neck rather than in his ears and he's eating away slowly in his own private mukbang here.

If you're up now too (or maybe he's woken you up with the sweet, sweet aroma of twice heated pizza or an absent dog bark,) he'll gesture to the spread to see if you'll join him. Or if you've got a question, feel free to nudge him out of a red eyed haze or tell him to just go the fuck to sleep.]

3. here, there and everywhere

[Exploring the house should've been something Peter did or had the opportunity to do before the whole production started, but bzzzt: that didn't happen. So on his off hours, aka the absurd hours of the night nobody's awake or mid-day when things are boring and dull, Peter takes to looking around. From getting lost in the hedge maze (or more specifically, losing Rootbeer in the hedge maze,) to walking in and out of trap doors in the house at possibly inopportune times... he's here, there, and everywhere.

At some point he realizes with a creeping suspicion that the production crew is living like voyeurs in the walls and is mildly skeeved by that? But then finds himself boredly listening in on conversations and on a hunt for at least one fake painting - there has to be something to spy on people through and he'll be damned if he doesn't discover it by the end of this show.]

[fauxmarth]

o1: the beach

Wow...

[lakes and rivers, sure. she's seen those along her journey to the Outrealm gate. and--yes, she's glimpsed the sea winking at her from sunset horizons when she spent her earliest days in Heropa, wandering. but nothing like this.

where the dark sands and looming volcano ought bring her dreadful memories of razed and ruined landscapes, she instead finds vibrant greens and ample nature to accent it. it's tremendously beautiful -- both the view she had sailing in and simply standing here on the shore.

as advised, she's left luggage and belongings to be minded by the professionals, herself just here with her broad-rimmed sunhat and shawl and sundress. oh, the sandals, too...thank goodness for Iris and her good fashion advice!

she could easily wind up being here all day just admiring the views, really.]


o2: wild animal room
[the general goal of the week is: stay out of the way, but not too far out of the way as to not know what's going on. after all, she did promise to keep an eye on these contestants, should any be here for nefarious purposes. only when she's gotten sight of her cousin and is certain all is well for now, Lucina does take to exploring more of this...what did Foggy call it again? this "litigation nightmare of a mansion?"

it doesn't seem too bad, precarious placement of some overhead weaponry aside. and actually, some of the more luxurious, palatial accents seem quite cozy to her!

this bird room, though. what on earth and why? she's baffled by its function at first, more than a little worried by the empty crate in second thoughts, but ultimately charmed by the colorful rainforest birds about.]

Here you go--oh! Alright, sorry! [she flinches a little out of impulse, but brings her hand back up so one of the toucans can keep plucking berries out of her palm. their precise little stabs are alarming at first, but...still. it's worth the wonder of it.

other birds click their beaks and squawk at any others wandering in, hungry for a chance at being fed themselves. Lucina glances over her shoulder in turn, smiling.]

A--hello! Sorry, my hands are a bit occupied here for a moment to greet you properly...


o3. darkhaus, cliffside
[is there no inch of this mansion that won't make her feel like some kind of intruder? granted, the whole point of this is to spectate the goings-on, but she's no contestant, so where on earth is she supposed to stay out of the way? even the poor crew hasn't mastered the art of get out of the shot there's a camera in that potted plant.

it really just comes down to countering the comings and goings of the real stars and their antics, so now while most are inside wining and dining, Lucina uses that as a change to step outside and have a look at a sunset from this height. her company is Falchion -- her precious sword, well in need of a polish, as all this sand (coarse, grainy, etc. etc.) has tried to blotch out its shine.

sharpening steel over the sea...see? she's really helping the ambiance of this dark place.]



o4. misc
[Lucina's never too far away to miss a chance to lend a hand -- be it struggling to navigate the island geography, or picking out a tie for a date, or simply providing company that doesn't expect you to scale the volcano and surf on lava rocks!

it's probably a good idea to be introduced to the family properly, after all: she does get a chance in later weeks to scrutinize!]

WEEK 1 | INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

[quickfingers]

[Peter's hounding people and you are yanked aside to answer one or all three of this week's beautiful questions. You can either answer to him and instigate a cool interview that involves Rootbeer the dog, some mood lighting and Peter judging or agreeing with what you're saying or you can go talk alone in a confessional style booth but it's not exactly so private so you might as well just say your piece. To Peter. Right here. Right now.

1. If you could flavor milk to any flavor you like, which would it be?

2. What date are you going to go on this week? Plans?

3. How do you feel about Odin Dark? Be honest.]

K-2SO

[reexamined]

1. DURING THE DAY

[The whole appearance of the island- it looks similar to Mustafar. Which is pretty cool. He didn’t think places like this existed on Earth, although he quickly remember, yes, sand is everywhere. A shame. He would have liked to study the black grains. Maybe as a human, it’d be possible, but the sheer amount of cameras around dissuades him from considering that as a possibility.

Instead, he leans against the fence around the open balcony in the Darkhaus, a nice secure distance away from the waves crashing against the coast. Is he intentionally looking broodily out at the water and volcano? No, actually, he just does this shit accidentally. ]

2. NIGHT TIME

[Once again, he can appreciate Odin’s dedication to keeping with a theme. This isn’t even a “theme” he’s really seen before either. It came up quite a bit during Halloween, but other than that, this doesn’t have any familiarity to him by any means. It’s also vastly different than what he’s ever see before, in his own galaxy, so that makes it fascinating in it’s own way.

The garden is of some interest, but even beyond that is something better- the stone astronomy tower. It looks old, but probably isn’t. Kaytu climbs it anyway, looking over the ‘old’ stargazing equipment, studying the pieces. If someone approaches, he doesn’t turn around, just continues looking the equipment over.]

It is difficult to believe that these were the precursors to human knowledge of the stars. They just relied on looking at the stars and making maps, and charting the distances and differences throughout the year. There wasn’t any actual electrical equipment to it.

3. LOUNGE AREA

[Yeah, okay, it’s full of beds and couches, and comfort means nothing to him really, but he’s going to try and get some use out of them. So dead center in the biggest bed, is just a three hundred pound robot, lying stock still.]

If I go into low-power mode while like this, it would be like sleeping.

[He says to no one in particular, except maybe himself. But who knows, someone else might be listening.]

HEALTH AND SAFETY WITH NURSE CHASE | OTA!

[fehus]

[oh, hello. it's sometime early in the week, just after filming's started, when one of the show staff -- a blond, vaguely homeless looking teen twinning the style of Kurt Cobain -- gives an announcement on the beach behind the house]

[he doesn't look particularly confident in this announcement, and the wind keeps blowing his long hair in his face, despite the stupid gothic hat he's wearing]

Uh, hey, so. Some lawyers told me that I should like, uh, give a sort of health and safety presentation to you guys. So, I guess, that's a thing I'm doing now.

[fuck dude it sure is]

Um, I'm the on-site medic, I guess. My name's Magnus. -- Chase. I'm a demigod, which sounds cooler than it is, and just means I can heal you guys, in case anybody gets hurt during the physical challenges, or if you fall swooning over Odin, or if you get pecked by a seagull, or whatever. If you need help with your hangovers 'cuz you drank too many Bloodtinis I can do that, but if you vomit on me, I swear to the Norns, I'll -- I'll be really bummed out you did that? Gross, dude.

[what a threat]

Uh. I can heal almost anything and it's no big deal, just tell one of the camera dudes you need me and like, I'll be there. Even if it's just a small cut, or heat exhaustion, or a bruise, or whatever. It's best if everyone's feeling their best, I think.

[he now lifts a piece of paper, reading a few lines before continuing]

Some things I have to legally say, apparently -- I'm not a necromancer. I'm a ...life-ro-mancer. I can't, uh, fix it if you die. No dying, it's bad for TV outside of soap operas anyway. I also can't do anything for if you get an STD. So if you have chlamydia... [a long pause] Don't? Don't have chlamydia. Don't sleep with anybody if you have chlamydia? But also just, don't, have it. I'm also not sure I can heal like, full-on poison effects? I've never done it. So... don't poison each other in a fit of jealous rage. Also don't, eat bad sushi, I think. That's a generally good rule.

[a pause]

Uh. More stuff. More stuff... er. While you're here, you should make sure to eat normally even if nobody looks good eating on TV. And make sure to hydrate a lot, 'cuz sunburns and sunstroke are things I can heal, but it sucks and you'll feel bad and barf on national TV in front of everyone. Don't fuck with the wildlife 'cuz these aren't like... fake, animatronic animals. They'll fuck you up if you do dumb shit to them or their habitats. I'm not punching any pumas or sharks to save you. I'll let them chew on you, to teach you a lesson about trying to feed potato skins to their babies, and then heal the ouchies.

In general like, try not to get hurt? Or eat bad sushi? Or get into bloody 1v1 matches over Odin -- oh, shit, no, I'm legally supposed to tell you that's fine. You can 1v1 for Odin's love. Uh, but I'm gonna say as the medic like, don't be a dick about it. Yeah.

[he lowers the paper. flushes, a bit]

So... have fun, don't have chlamydia or die, and be yourselves. Thanks for listening.

[liontomyself]

Competition

[If you are most of the contestants(or Peter), Leo might actually ask you out on one of those 'dates' with some bullshit about 'getting to know you better since you'll be living together' or something.

Funny thing, that.

Truth be told he wanted to get these jokers alone to see who he'd have to kill first. And tonight, you've somehow been suckered in to being secluded on a boat with Leo, who is maybe not dressed for a date as much as he is dressed for battle, in full plate armor and with his sacred tome under an arm. Still, a part of him can't help but be distracted by the whole scene before he remembers his dark purpose.]

...You know I'm not truly interested in having any kind of romantic getaway with you, right? Still, why shouldn't we talk a bit about ourselves, or ask about each other? Getting to know each other, as I said.

Honestly, I... am not great at this. Maybe you should take the lead.

Cooperation

[If you are one of the VERY FEW people Leo doesn't hate on the principle of not knowing you or the fact that you might try to steal his beloved retainer from him... he might actually ask you out to the tide pools. There was nothing more metal better to study than the remains of creatures caught in a tide pool.

Or if you are on less than optimal terms, maybe you just ended up out here at the same time? Either way, Leo isn't here for dating or interaction, he's in black swim trunks and clutching a notebook as he observes the life there, and the death as well.

He's got a pen and is drawing little pictures of various things he sees, seeming quite taken with a little hermit crab before taking notice of a very dead jellyfish not too far away, which is what he's going after now, and yeah. He's poking it with a pen. Could be worse???]

How amazing...

[He's never seen ANYTHING like this. Nohr was a desolate wasteland, and did not border the sea anyway.]

Is it a plant, I wonder...?

bodhi rook | ota

[onlydoubts]

on the beach

[ He's not overly fond of beaches - but this one is far enough removed from the beaches of the Scarif base that Bodhi actually doesn't mind it. The black sand is strange, but he doesn't pay it too much mind - busy playing catch with his dog for the most part.

It's actually... all really impressive looking. He'd been to so many different planets, but really never got to experience them, beyond doing his job. So sights like the giant volcano are new, and worthy of a better look.

He does go out into the water, but only just enough to get his feet wet since he and swimming don't go together well. Or to occasionally get knocked over by a larger wave - coming up with sopping wet clothes and covered in dark sand. ]

Shit, that's cold.

[ ... maybe he should have brought a towel out? ]

knife room

[ Bodhi enters this one, once and only once - catching a glimpse of the knives hanging from the ceiling...

... and slowly backs out, back into the hall, closing the door.

No thank you. ]

nighttime

[ It's all very Halloween-y. That's the best way Bodhi can describe the mansion, like something pulled out of one of the movies he'd watched at the time with it's dark decor, and odd rooms. There are even hidden passages, he finds - with enough exploring. Because that's what he does when he can't sleep - and since he doesn't want to deal with insomnia or a nightmare on live tv - Bodhi doesn't sleep much. He explores.

The garden, the astronomy tower might be a personal favorite. Or the animal room. He loves animals. And of course - the kitchen, for a 2 AM snack. ]

on the beach

[vanto]

[...because Eli being Eli, is having the time of his life swimming in the ocean. This is something he has not done in years.

His swimming is rusty but he learnt as a kid.

He spots Bodhi, soaking wet by the shallower ends and grins, changing direction to go join him.]

End Of Week One - Surprise, It's Poe

[flightforfreedom]

Arrival

[He came in his car, rather than the carpet. The carpet made for a cold trip, when driven that far for that long, at that height and speed. The car itself was not fancy - while it was new to him it was old and it didn't actually drive. He didn't need it to drive. He just needed something enclosed that had a stereo system and hadn't been eaten by a bear. He'd gotten in touch with the crew while he was on the way there, so they'd set aside a little landing strip for him, and there was a camera on him the second he hit ground. He sent Odin a quick message to let him know he was there, and then he and BB-8, a little rolly-poly white and orange droid, headed for the main house.

He wasn't really looking forward to running in to anyone, but, well, that was the nature of things. The likelihood of him only running into Odin was pretty damn low...

So anyone hanging around might accidentally run into a very handsome pilot and his droid who are most decidedly not supposed to be there...]



For Kay and Bodhi - either together or separately, either is fine by me.

[Odin had given Poe use of his bedroom, as the only room without cameras, to talk to his friends. So it was there, where he waited as Bodhi and Kaytoo were summoned up to the room. He sat on the way, way too ornate bed, awkwardly, wringing his hands as BB-8 explored the room, chirping at him every few seconds. As soon as the door opened, he stood up.]

Hey. Sorry to interrupt your - ah- vacation.

[reexamined]

[Poe has no reason to be here. The fact he is sends a slight wave of disquiet through his circuits. Regardless, Kay instead chooses to focus on the details of Odin's room. He hasn't been in here before, so it's clearly worth of observation.]

I'm sure the fans are wild about you being here.

arrival

[cigarbribery]

[He is absolutely not supposed to be there, so Foggy, who'd just been about to return to the mainland to do actual work, is unceremoniously assigned to go ask Poe what the hell is he doing out there. Which, you know, rude, and not safe for either of them because all Foggy knows about Poe is that he broke Odin's heart. He won't stand for that.

So he walks on out to greet Poe Dameron, and the first thing he says is:]

—what are you doing here? [It's Very Even, but it's noticeably not flavored with Foggy's usual casual friendliness behind it. There's something else instead, a friend's anger over an injustice done to his friend, a lawyer's cool professionalism.]

[onlydoubts]

[ Hm. Well. Bodhi cocks his head, noting that Poe looked a little... nervous? He's surprised to see him here in the first place, but he's not getting that this is just a friendly visit.

He smiles, regardless. ]

No problem. What's up?

Arrival

[doitforthevibe]

[ Cisco's out on the beach at the exact moment Poe comes flying in and basically abandons the sick sand castle he had been building to go running towards his landing spot. ]

Dude! Did you seriously just fly a car from the mainland?

WEEK TWO

[shadowglitter]

Anything that goes down from the 14th to the 20th goes here!

EVENT

[shadowglitter]

Valentine's Day is all about love, and nothing is more romantic than improvised weaponry, death and bloodshed.

On the afternoon of the fourteenth, contestants will finally be given access to the island's volcano. It's a steep and steady climb to the summit, one long hike over warm rocks and piles of dirt, made all the more difficult by your outfits. Odin kept changing his mind on what he wanted the Sweet Deathmatch Arena Gladiator Uniform Ensemble Armor Digs to look like, and in preparation for today, contestants have been told to wear something formal, something inspired by an animal, cosplay of another import, full suits of armor, skintight latex, their Odinsquad uniforms, and... really, they've been assigned to dress in anything short of something they would be comfortable wearing. You've decided on your outfit, the producers got it made, and now you're in it. This is 100% compulsory. I'll fight you.

It goes without saying that an obstacle course has been suspended over open lava.

Over all that spooky, bubbling volcano-juice hangs a series of moving platforms, ropes, bridges and tunnels contestants have to navigate through as the ground shifts beneath them, the whole thing suspended by cables anchored to the rim of the volcano. Contestants are told they need to BATTLE TO THE DEATH to win Odin's love - every contestant will be assigned a different starting position on the obstacle course as well as a favored weapon of their choice, and then they'll be set on each other like wolves. Abilities are allowed. Go wild.

There'll be surprise events every ten minutes or so - bursts of fire from the ground beneath you, a sudden storm of hail pegging you from above, gusts of wind shaking the obstacle course and making everything feel very precarious - pretty much anything that can be done through Odin's elemental magic is gonna happen here. There'll also be a secret special guest in Thor Odinson, who sits on a highchair drinking from a coconut in shorts and a tanktop and occasionally zaps people just to make them fall. Those who survive a full hour on the obstacle course will receive a very special secret prize, and those who fall will receive a very special secret prize as well, but in, like, a consolation way. Odin doesn't want anyone to feel left out.

If a contestant is a weapons expert (or just happens to have the tiniest modicum of common sense), they'll be able to tell that the weapon they're given is made of rubber and completely harmless. The lava, too, is very clearly fake, now that you get a closer look at it - it seems to be some kind of gross, bright red, synthetic slime-y substance, and those who fall into it will sink through it and land in a backstage set without sustaining any damage whatsoever. They might be a little Nickelodeon gak'd, but they'll be in good health. Beverages of all kinds are ready to be served down there, as well as video games to screw around on until the hour's up and you're all shipped back to Darkhaus.

Before the Deathmatch Superbattle begins, Odin propels himself from within the fake-lava by jumping, like, forty god damn feet in the air and landing dramatically in the center of the obstacle course. He's nervous and a little flustered, stumbling over the words of his speech and wiping fake-lava-slime from his hair, but essentially he waxes poetic about how great he is for five minutes while you all just have to sit there and listen. When he's done, he says "okay, so like, kill for me", and then he scoots over to the edge of the volcano to watch it all go down.

Have... fun?

WEEK THREE

[shadowglitter]

For threads covering the 21st to the 27th!

EVENT

[shadowglitter]

Space! Drones! Fighting! Kill counts! Drama! Everyone who's anyone is off fighting the good fight for America come the 20th, and Odin sends off any contestant who chooses to do right by their country with a kiss on the cheek and a hearty athletic slap on the ass. Do your best out there, he'll say, as you climb aboard the chopper that transports you away from the island and towards your violent, violent destiny. Strike a pose. Give him a shoutout. Blow a kiss towards the island when you're up in those beautiful, romantic stars. Don't find love when you're up there, though. Or you're fired.

Given everything going on in the real world, there are a couple of days of desperate scrambling from the production crew as they disassemble Deathmatch Arena 2.0: Now With Way More Real Lava And Far Too Many Swords, most of the producers finding it a rather inappropriate game to play, given the circumstances and the obnoxious threats of litigation from Odin's fog-bearing lawyer. As a result, this week's event comes a few days late, and it's-- wow, it's weak.

There are puppies. So many puppies. On the 23rd, contestants will wake up to an island just littered with puppies. Littered. Get it? A litter of puppies. All of them are tiny, all of them are fuzzy, all of them are in desperate need of a good sweater. Knitting needles and instruction manuals will be provided to anyone who wants to have a go at making some, but the needles are rounded and fat and the instruction's pages are all laminated - too many knife, roomba and Leo-based incidents have happened for the team to not start taking Foggy's frustrated screaming a little more seriously.

Other than needing sweaters, these puppies need hugs. Oh, you want fifty pomeranians to lay on top of you on the harem bed, each of them struggling to kiss your dumb, stupid face? You best believe now's your opportunity to make that dream come true. What's that? A golden lab brought you her squeaky toy pig to play with? Damn, son! Put your whole dang arm into that throw!

There are no real winners or losers, but everyone who survived the death match Arena gets a special prize that might help them out on this - literally five hundred dollars worth of dog treats. And if you fell into the lava? You get a thousand, instead. That's right. Your bags are filled with dog treats overnight, and now you're just stuck with them. A nigh limitless supply, forced upon each of you without recourse. What are you going to do with it all after the show's up? Not Odin's problem. He gave you a sword when you auditioned. You've dried up the well of cool prizes.

Other than the fun dog party, there'll be a box of uncomfortable-in-every-possible-meaning-of-the-term swimsuits hidden away in the corner of the entrance hall, Debra the producer having once again feared litigation and decided Odin isn't allowed to dress his contestants up in spandex. She's cancelled the swimsuit competition and Odin hates her for it, but these terrible, gaudy things are still waiting to be stolen away. You can take one, if you want. Don't, though.

There'll be murmurings of the finale and the big event planned for next week - the 28th is when all of this will come to an end, after all - and if you pay close attention, you might be able to catch a brief overview of what's coming. Next week there'll be a masquerade ball to bring an end to this, and you'll be encouraged to dress to the nines and hide your identity. This is a time for confessions, a time for secrets, a time for love; bring a friend, bring someone from home, or maybe ask another contestant to dance with you. If you've ever wanted to get something off your chest, soon you'll have the perfect time to do it.

For now, though? Don't worry about it. All you have to worry about is puppies.

So many puppies.

FINALE

[shadowglitter]

Game over! We hope you enjoyed your GOTHIC ISLAND ADVENTURE PARADISE RETREAT. DID YOU FIND LOVE????

It's over!

[shadowglitter]

You've spent the day packing your bags, roaming the halls of Darkhaus and watching the sea lap against black sand from your bedroom window. You've been taking in the sights of Sparkle Gothic Love Island for the last time, listening to the rumble of a fake volcano in the distance, and for the less scrupulous of you, you've been deciding if you want to swipe anything from the island before the boat takes you back home in the morning. An imported animal still wandering the woods, maybe? A broken, knife-laden roomba, crushed underfoot by some horrid, mechanical beast? A puppy, still wandering the island after last week's event? Lava goop? Shitty halloween toys? Candles? There are so many candles around here.

However you decide to spend your last day, everything is said and done. The sky is a velvet black, the gardens outside of Darkhaus are lit with glowing, illusory fireflies, the stars seem brighter than usual, the roses are in full bloom... it's a romantic (but cold) night - perfect for the finale.

Inside Darkhaus's greater ball room, expensive curtains are draped over pitch black walls and a great chandelier swings overhead. All manner of food and delicacies are served here on silk-covered tables, ranging from fine meats to rich desserts. There's music, a string quartet, alternating between classical music and violin-based remixes of songs like Smashmouth's All Star, and there's a cleared floor for dancing, where many invited native couples are already holding each other close and swaying like gross lovey dovey trees in a gross and ugly wind. Gross. Love. Yuck.

The only requirement for your arrival is yet another dress code, but this one is somewhat (slightly?) less ridiculous than the others Odin has set over the course of the month. Contestants are to dress in formalwear and have some kind of mask to shield their identity, and they're encouraged to play along with the mystique - adopt a second name and dance with the person you love, act out dramatic plans of royal subterfuge, pretend to be someone else. Lie, sneak around, level your stealth to 100, commit treason, crown someone king and assassinate them for the people. Alternatively, use the dim glow of the silver moon streaking through huge, clear windows to confess - whisper those words you've always wanted to say, in bated breath with a hammering heart, to the one you love for the very first time. You and your date, whoever they might be, won't find a better atmosphere in which to start your relationship.

The theme for tonight is secrets, but it's in the shadow of something greater. Around midnight, Odin will take his chosen winner to the garden, all awkward smiles and nervous energy. This, in the eyes of the adoring native public, is what it all comes down to. This is where TRUE LOVE... BEGINS.

ARE YOU AFRAID... OF THE DARK? THE ODIN DARK, THAT IS.