weep not for the memories

[brushoff]

WHO: Everybody!
WHERE: all cities
WHEN: March 4 - March 6
WHAT: it's a catch-all log, sucka! Tag here and thread around for the Dorian Ruins Everything Guilt Extravaganza part of the overall March plot. Please check out this ooc post for details!
WARNINGS: Traumatic memories. Possible talk of murder, death, blood, other nasty things. I'll try to update if the warnings needed but please use content warnings if it gets super nasty!

It starts off on March 4th, the early morning before the sun's even risen. You know those weird mirages that were hanging around the day before? Well now it's getting a little personal.

These mirages come and go seemingly for no reason. They might stay for a minute, they might stay for an hour. The images vary between person but the unifying factor is that the mirages consist of people the player characters have hurt, whether people in-game or from their homes. Whether they murdered them, slandered them, or even had a petty little argument, the unifying factor is the guilt each character feels towards or about this mirage. After all, you know you hurt them somehow. You know their existence somehow makes you feel guilty.

Another unifying factor? The creepy way these mirages just seem to stick to you. They'll follow you if you try to leave, staring you down with their creepy unblinking mirage eyes. And whoops: everybody can see said mirages. Hopefully you're not being stalked by someone you and somebody else both know, wouldn't that be awkward?

Have fun confronting your traumatizing past and/or wondering why your buddy's got some creepy ghost guy following him, imPorts!

( ooc: this is a catch-all log! Make starters of your characters getting haunted by their creepy mirages, have other people react to said creepy mirages, ???, profit. Hit me up on the ooc post if you have any questions! )

Comments

[oddbod]

Not in the way you and I are.

[Clara hasn't seen her own, not yet, but she's witnessed the others, and she knows what's going to happen when she walks up and sticks her hand right through Beth's arm.]

They're some sort of widespread psychic projection.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah flinches, like she expects Beth to disappear, to fade out of existence like smoke. She doesn't. ]

That almost makes it worse. She's only here to torment me.

[oddbod]

She's not. The person who's using her image is.

[Clara reaches out slowly and places a hand on Sarah's shoulder.]

I was just grabbing some coffee. Come on, I'll buy.

[coppelganger]

... Yeah, alright.

[ She hunches her shoulders so she can stick her hands in the pockets of her jacket. Beth, of course, will follow them to the cafe. ] Thanks.

[oddbod]

[The cafe is blessedly quite at this time of morning. Once they've got their coffees, Clara picks a small table in the corner, and motions Sarah to the chair facing the wall so that she can't see Beth lingering a few tables away. Ignoring the specter pointedly, Clara puts on a gentle smile.]

So. How are the pigs?

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah sits, relieved that she won't have to look at Beth sitting nearby. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that she knows Beth is there, whether she can see her or not. She pulls a napkin close to her chest and starts to shred it into pieces. ]

The pigs are fine, despite the fact Eunike wants to cook 'em.

[oddbod]

[Clara almost chokes on her first sip of coffee.]

Cook them? [Jesus Christ.] Maybe they could stay with me and Cos', till this gets sorted out.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah raises an eyebrow. ]

Where would you put them? Nah, it's fine, I told her off. [ About several things, believe it or not. ]

[oddbod]

The guest room?

[But she trusts Sarah to keep them safe until Sarissa comes back. Because she is coming back.]

... She called me a brat. Eunike, I mean.

[coppelganger]

Yeah, she seems to have a problem with most people. She's come by it honestly, though.

[oddbod]

I deserved it. Got a little mouthy about war.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah quirks her lips, not quite a frown but pretty close to one. ]

I imagine she's sick of people telling her about the end of something she's still gotta live through. [ It's not a judgment on Clara, just the truth coming from someone who's also living through a war of sorts. ]

[oddbod]

I understand that, now. But I've always been the one leading an army into battle, and skipping out before the rebuilding starts.

[Which could be a metaphor, if Sarah prefers to believe that.]

[coppelganger]

Well. [ Sarah shrugs and sips at her coffee. ] I never did either until I got caught up in all this shite.

[ And she gestures over her shoulder to where Beth is still standing and staring. ]

[oddbod]

[Clara's eyes flit over Sarah's shoulder, finally resting on Beth. Something in the woman's eyes puts a deep discomfort in her stomach. She holds in a shudder.]

Can I ask... [She looks back at Sarah, tentative.] What happened?

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah nods. It's not like she thinks Cosima would give away all the details behind her back, but she is a little bit surprised it's never come up between her and Clara. Then again, Cosima is so chill about the clone thing, maybe it's not surprising at all. ]

She's how I got pulled into all this. I saw her at the train station. She killed herself in front of me. Walked right in front of a train. I— [ Here she swallows, hesitating. The first part is what Beth did. The rest is all Sarah, and she hates herself for it. ]

[oddbod]

[Clara's voice is impossibly soft, her eyes wide and tender. She reaches across the table, placing one hand flat next to Sarah's.]

You don't have to, Sarah. It's alright. It's okay.

[coppelganger]

No.

[ She shakes her head. Clara should know. She's marrying her sister, for Christ's sake. This shouldn't be a secret. ]

I took her purse off the train platform and went over to her flat and found out she had—she had a lot of money in the bank. I decided to pretend to be her so I could take the money. You know? It was for Kira, but I still... did that.

[oddbod]

[Clara listens, masking any horror deep down. Her eyes flick back to Beth, imagining the scene on the platform, wondering if she could have done what Sarah did. Wondering how desperate and troubled someone must be to see a woman with their face, and and not be immediately consumed with the mystery. Clara's life has been scattered with sadness, but she's never been in need. She's always had money and kindness and a helping hand, even when Danny died and she went off the rails. She was never desperate.]

You did. You did it, and you're not a bad person. Not at all. I'll be proud to call you my sister.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah manages a weak, tired smile and blinks tears onto her cheeks. ]

Thanks, Clara. [ She takes a deep breath and lets it out, like she's releasing some kind of heavy burden. ] This isn't the first time I've seen her.

[oddbod]

[Clara takes a deep, calm breath, pushing her coffee aside.]

My mum died when I was eighteen, and I thought it was the worst thing that would ever happen. I didn't see her, though, not even at the funeral. It didn't feel like death, or trauma. It was just sad.

[She's going somewhere with this, honest.]

I was twenty-four when I saw my first dead body, and I didn't stop seeing him for ages. I never saw my mum, but he popped up everywhere, all broken and horrible. I didn't even know his name. So it isn't strange, you seeing her. You're not being haunted. You just went through a tremendous stress, and your brain is still dealing with it.

god i'm so sorry this is late af

[coppelganger]

'M sorry.

[ She doesn't know what else to say. Sorry doesn't mean shit. There should be a better word, something that carries the weight of loss. She looks up at Clara, just briefly, and then down at her own lap again. There's another napkin in her lap, one she doesn't remember reaching for, and she starts to shred that one, too. ]

Sometimes—sometimes she just stands there, like she's doing now. Sometimes she talks. She's the only one.