maskormenacelogs | don't know what i want but i know how to get it; i wanna destroy the passerby

[As if Inanna is ever worried about modesty either. They sigh softly, wholly unsurprised that John expected them to want to keep distance between them.]

More like I thought you'd get the wrong idea about me staying away—exactly like that. I'm not afraid of you, John. I won't say it wasn't...hard to see all of that, but I still don't think you'd hurt me.

[ The pads of his hands press into his eye sockets hopelessly, trying pointlessly to will himself out of this conversation.

He exhales slowly and noisily, the whole sound being much more akin to a sad groan, and speaks after a painful, drawn-out silence. Someone who could know what he's done, damn near all of it, and actually come back around after tearfully bolting was not a possibility that John had considered. ]

...why go believe a silly thing like that?

[Welcome to life with a love goddess. Full of patience, forgiveness, and okay yes some war and destruction, but that doesn't really apply here. So far.

They lean back in the chair that doesn't actually exist, glancing skyward.]

Well...because I don't think you'd be trying to chase me off if you didn't actually care. A lot. You're worried about me, John.

Interesting take.

[ The kid seemed to underestimate the self-fellating nature of John's guilt and selfishness. Do dumb magic bullshit, get self and others in grave peril, use others to get out of peril, feel like absolute rubbish for a day or two, then rinse and repeat. He rubs an imaginary sore spot on the back of his neck since it gives him an excuse to keep his head down. ]

Still done worse to folks closer to me, y'know.

[They knew. They'd seen it. But all those people... Honestly, in some cases Inanna felt the stars were being unfair to put the blame on John. In others, he probably deserved a fair deal more than he'd gotten. But ultimately...it all still fell short of Ananke as far as they were concerned. John didn't hide who he was—not for as long or as thoroughly as she had, anyway. It was practically a comfort.]

And I've had something awful done to me by someone closer than you. At least now I know exactly what I'm getting into. ...I'm okay with taking my chances here.

Some kinda weird cosmic stalemate, innit?

[ His head tilts upwards a tad, addressing Inanna's shoes rather than the floorboards. There will be no making this easy, even in the face of a Goddess calling his bluff. ]

An' what do we mean by "here"? I just work for you little bastards, remember?

Edited 2017-02-06 07:41 (UTC)

You work for Persephone. I don't pay you for anything, John. [They shift, leaning forward over their knees to try to look him in the eyes, a move they can't really manage at this angle.] You and I are just friends.

Right. As if anyone ever gained anything from being a friend of stupid rockstar Johnny's.

[ Might as well be ensnaring a feral cat, with the kind of effort John is putting into undermining whatever bloody moment Inanna had hoped to have.

He rolls over to face the wall, absent-mindedly tracing some sigils he scraped out of the paint. He didn't believe he could get any better, and they didn't believe he could get any worse. It was a hideous impasse to be at, especially since they'd already endured his trump card of "traumatic flashback bombardment". ]

Why so determined to try plucking me soul from the jaws of Hell, anyway? Odd pet project, that.

Edited 2017-02-06 22:51 (UTC)

[Inanna sighs and sits back upright, watching John's back with no small amount of concern. This is really about how they'd expected the encounter to go after all of his other attempts to chase them off.]

Why? ...How many times are you going to make me say it's because I like you, John? [And, frankly speaking, they really believed he was capable of doing better—being better. It was too early to say so to his face, but they weren't about to walk away and leave him sulking and miserable in the pit like this.]

M'not making you do a damn thing.

[ There's that dull deadness to his tone again that suggests he's given up, even if his words are of protest. It's the same flat, tired voice he used the night of the concert that worked so well to push them away. A pity it didn't work now. ]

You keep asking me questions with the same answer. You're my friend, John. You care about me. You care about my friend. You're trying to take care of me...in your own way.

[They drift a little closer, leaning towards him again. They'd love to just put a hand in his hair or touch his arm—offer some measure of comfort—but Inanna knows that could be pushing too much now.]

Do you know how many people in my life have really tried to do that? Really tried?

No, suppose I don't.

[ His shoulders relax from their uncomfortable, hunched-up position on his side. For a moment, it seems like he might fold, but then... ]

But I do know that people in my life have a bad habit of seeing better in me what's really there.

I think I know just how awful you can be by now, but that doesn't mean I can't see how kind you can be too.

[Maybe it was that duality that drew them in, that liminality of being kind and horrible all at once.]

You make three, by the way. Maybe four.

[ Was the play to John's ego deliberate? Because it works spectacularly.

Easing up just noticeably, he rolls onto his back, eyeing Inanna suspiciously. ]

Don't tell me Luci's on that list too.

[They laugh, only just managing the decency to look a little sheepish.]

She's the maybe.

Well. S'what you call a conundrum, innit? Can't let Lucifer upstage me, but doing so in this case would undermine me whole style.

[ Not that he's instantly feeling better. It's a little joke to cover up how much he's still dead rubbish inside, but then they can probably tell. He maintains his cagey eyeballing of Inanna all the same: ]

It don't bother you then, that what you want outta me goes against what I'm owed to her and her domain? Not gonna fight over the table scraps that constitute my soul, are yeh? Maybe y'can work out some sorta time share.

[They can't help but laugh again, low and much more genuinely amused this time.]

It wouldn't be the first time I fought with a ruler of the underworld, and I really hate to let go of people I've become fond of. I'd have to fight her for you, but I think she'd understand. She might even think it's fun too.

Understand? You already forgetting the number she did on me face?

[ It's only half-joking, but seeing Inanna slightly less miserable is a small victory, at least. A little bit of fuel for the belief that John won't actually ruin what's left of their life. ]

Then again, s'nothing compared to what I've done to the version of her from my world. Should tell you sometime.

I mean she'd understand if I wanted to fight her. We're both Morningstars, after all. There are things about me that only she'd understand.

[They just...quietly ignore that offer. After the last slideshow they'd gotten about John, they aren't very excited to see more. just yet.]

Thought you weren't the warfare sort.

[ There is a pointed effort in how he's using snark to cover up that big, gaping pit of internal turmoil. To make matters worse, he's much better at it than Persephone is. So they might not even notice that's what he's doing. ]

What if she wins, though? No offense, but my money's on her. S'a the joke in there 'bout the Devil you know, somewhere.

I don't see the point in helping humans out with warfare when they're so good at it already. I never said I wouldn't go to war for someone. [Honestly John, pay attention.]

And if she wins... Well, then I'd have to play dirty. But I don't think she'd want to fight me badly enough to keep you.

[ There's a roll to his eyes that seems juvenile, even for John's standards. It's still a terrible amount of effort to go through, going on the warpath with one of your best mates just for his raggedy rubbish heap of a soul.

Not that he hasn't done more dramatic things over less gain. But if he points out that he's not worth it, Inanna will insist he is, and just start back into their bloody affirmations and how much they liked him, which John is in no mood for. ]

Not that I don't approve of playin' dirty against the Devil, but y'saw less than half of why Luci n' me aren't, uh, mates.

[ He shifts gears after a beat, just to keep Inanna from fussing any furthur. ]

Where'dya go, anyway?

And you don't know how fond of each other Luci and I are. [Inanna has some genuine doubts that it would even come to blows. It's certainly a distinct possibility, but if it were their Luci they could just try to play it off as a favor.

Their amused grin slips away rather suddenly at the question, however.]

Nowhere. ...Home. I suppose.

[ It's not that John enjoys posing an obviously uncomfortable question to them. But it does, hopefully, help prove that yes Virginia, this man really will throw just about anyone under the bus for his own benefit, basically whenever. He'll never not be convinced that he can't find some way to make even the crummy hand Inanna had been dealt worse.

But he sits up, coat sliding off him again and at least allows the tone to be a bit more conversational. John somehow manages to be skinny and out of shape at the same time and his limbs are all too long and awkward, too hungover to put on his usual charismatic airs. ]

Maybe I shouldn't give you pointers if you'd want to actually stay mates with her, then.

[Ugh... Inanna's going to have to start remembering to bring food along whenever they visit John. It couldn't hurt anything, and maybe a little meat on his bones would actually help.]

I know you hate her, so I wouldn't take advice from you about her in the first place. I like you, but I'm not stupid. [Not that stupid, at least.]

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