don't know what i want but i know how to get it; i wanna destroy the passerby

[heckblazer]

WHO: John Constantine, some bad children, various bad adults, maybe you?
WHERE: Roundabouts various cities
WHEN: Early to mid-February
WHAT: John's February Super Fun Wow Catch-All Extravaganza
WARNINGS: To be tagged as necessary



((Tags in comments below. HIT ME UP IF YOU WANNA PLOT! I'm open for almost anything and would love to throw John at most of y'all.))

Comments

[heckblazer]

[ The sad part is probably that now he's actually putting thought into it, his cigarette hand motioning to scratch his scalp in thought, shaking warm ash into his own hair for the trouble. ]

Mostly I've kept to disrupting the business of monotheistic heaven, so might be time to expand my horizons anyways. Luci can take me on weekends, maybe make me parta' the set for her masses again. 'Twas an experience.

[purple_reign]

[For fuck's sake John.

1-2-3-4—Inanna snaps their fingers again, extinguishing the ash just in case.]

Oh—is that what you meant? Well now you just sound ridiculous. We don't like to share that much.

[heckblazer]

[ A long, long pull on the cigarette and an awkward silence as he exhales the fumes. If there's recognition of the thoughtful and conscientious trouble that Inanna goes to for John's wellbeing, he doesn't show it outwardly. If anything, he might acknowledge it to deny it. ]

You've a bad habit of overestimating how much trouble I'm worth, y'know. Even the people who like me don't really.

[purple_reign]

[Inanna rolls their eyes with a fondly exasperated sigh.]

I'm the one who gets to decide how much trouble you're worth to me. Not you, and not anyone else who knows you.

[heckblazer]

[ 'Fondly exasperated' about covers it, although he's still responding with a dead tired sullen-ness that would put Persephone to shame. ]

Noble intent, kid. But y'might be trying to pull me outta something I can't be. Or, won't.

[purple_reign]

[Ah... Whatever smile they'd been holding onto slips away.]

That sounds like something Persephone might say. I can't leave her behind either.

[heckblazer]

[ A hand waves dismissively, wafting smoke this way and that. ]

Yeah, incidentally, she's easier to deal with. Got a future too, unlike me.

[ Denial about the fated two year limit what now? Surely not him. ]

[purple_reign]

[They bark out an empty laugh.]

Now who's being stubborn? Are you going to tell me I have one next?

[heckblazer]

[ That is not a very comfortable silence just now. ]

Maybe. Y'died in one world. Does it rule out the others?

[purple_reign]

[Oh, this was a step too far. It's Inanna's turn to avoid eye contact, scruffing a hand through their hair in a nervous gesture. Too late to turn back from things now...]

I'm not going to another world.

[heckblazer]

Nah, this one's fine. S'what I meant. Provides some unique opportunities.

[ He's not thinking of something stupid, is he? Something like trying to scam the cosmos into buying them more time alive? Or maybe keeping space and time from getting any ideas about porting them out? Or maybe just how goddamn hungry he is - literally, mind. A proper English Breakfast might deal with the hangover. Who really knows with John. ]

[purple_reign]

...I'm not staying in this one either. I'm going to go home eventually, John.

[Well Inanna sure is thinking of doing stupid shit, apparently. Surprise.]

[heckblazer]

[ He goes from tired and defeated to scheming asshole far too quickly, and occasionally, it shows on his face. ]

Suppose we all have to. I suspect they'll regret sending us home without our memories by the time I'm through, though.

[purple_reign]

[They sigh softly, sinking down to over above the mattress.]

John. I want to go home. I don't want you to interfere with it.

[heckblazer]

[ Easier said than done. At least he tries to keep sounding light. Your mileage may vary on his success. ]

But it's fair game for you to tamper with my existence, s'that right?

[purple_reign]

[Ugh... They finally drop down to sit on the mattress, any lingering traces of the mask they always wear falling away.]

You're still alive. I'm dead. I'm over. And if I don't go back then there might never be an Inanna again. It's not a fair comparison.

[heckblazer]

D'you hear that? It's the sound of 'bout a hundred or so decent, average people's souls whizzing by to hell, ones that weren't beyond help, while you lot were busy makin' a pet project outta savin' John from himself.

[ He breathes deep, taking down the cigarette's length by half. A long exhale and it the smoke comes out dark and thick in front of him. ]

Some way to use borrowed time, I'd say.

[purple_reign]

I'm... I'm trying to help as many people as I can.

[There's an odd quality to their voice, almost a tremor. Helping people—helping as many people as they could was important to them. Were they really wasting their second chance here? And so what if they were? As long as they still reached out to more than just the pseduo-pantheon being built up...]

What's so wrong with wanting to focus on a few special cases too?

[heckblazer]

[ There really isn't a gentle way to put it, so he just goes for it. ]

'Cuz there's people who deserve it more.

[purple_reign]

...I don't care.

[It's quiet, almost too quiet to make out clearly.]

[heckblazer]

[ The intake of breath is sharper this time, as if he's about to raise his voice or spiral into trauma, but it takes the other half of the cigarette with him as well as the butt. He sputters and chokes it back out, cursing, keeping himself just out of range of the love goddess' helpful, concerned touch. ]

Why. And I mean really.

[purple_reign]

[For once, Inanna doesn't seem very interested in reaching out for him. They've hunched in on themself, rubbing at their chin and the side of their face in an unsettled motion.]

Because... [Because why? There had to be a reason they'd said it. The obvious answer was that they cared about John more, but Inanna was sure that they couldn't get away with just insisting on that for the hundredth time in a row. But was there really anything else...?]

...Maybe I just want to be selfish. You and Persephone, Luci... More than anything else, I don't want to let any of you down. I don't want any of you to become a regret.

[heckblazer]

[ It sounds like a terrible, short-sighted reason to like John, with the kind of naivete only a 20-something metahuman could have. But he refrains from saying so lest it make Inanna weep again. That's hardly something he's equipped to deal with unless he's got pants on and half a solid meal in him. ]

Seems a little backwards for you to worry about letting me down, y'know. [ He sighs and lets a bit of honesty sneak through. ] Then again, here you are even after seein' my Greatest Hits.

[purple_reign]

You wouldn't be the first person I failed. There were...a lot... [So many people that Inanna had loved so much and been unable to help. Even Persephone—even though they had saved her, it didn't seem to have done her any real good half the time. She was so miserable, so much more entrenched in her despair than they'd ever seen her before coming here, and she was the one Inanna had managed to help.

..."Help".

They duck their head and fidget with a few stray threads on the mattress. (Probably making a mental note to get him a new one.)]

...I always thought that I wouldn't regret having any of my regrets. They were proof that I'd...that I'd really lived, but I... I don't want any of my regrets to be people. Not this time.

[heckblazer]

[ There's a surprising quietness and thoughtfulness to John as he replies, even mustering the courage to look back over at them. ]

Y'didn't fail me. Haven't. Hell, ya probably can't. Doin' to me worse than what I already do to myself isn't in you, 'nanna.