person man, person man, hit on the head with a frying pan

[jacksonian]

WHO: Mark and whoever
WHERE: Everywhere!! But mostly De Chima and Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Throughout November
WHAT: Catch-all for November with stuff. Hit me up!! Please!!! Open prompts below; PM me if you want something that isn't these things.
WARNINGS: Mark's life sucks; I'll edit this header if any particular suckiness comes up.


1. dog dog dog dog dog dog dog; De Chima/Maurtia Falls
[ In De Chima or in Maurtia Falls, you might find a rather strange sight: a small stocky man walking an enormous stocky dog. This is Mark walking his dog Captain, a scarred and warlike pit bull that pulls at the leash and constantly wags his tail. Mark's expression is still a forbidding glower, but Captain's doggy face is open and bright-eyed and happy; there's no one he doesn't want to make friends with.

And Mark, unfortunately, doesn't know good leash technique, and also (in spite of his own roundness) doesn't outweigh his dog by that much. And so when Captain wants to make friends, Mark is dragged along behind him. And that is why, if you're walking around, you might be approached by a dog trailing a very sour-looking little man who's hissing - ]

No, don't - stop - heel -

2. come make $$$$; Maurtia Falls
[ PKE, LLC, up in Maurtia Falls, is beyond luxurious. The office is appointed with a sort of brushed-steel-and-pine classiness, like it's furnished from the expensive part of Ikea; the receptionist out front is attractive and aloof, and people who are waiting get offered mineral water from glass bottles.

There are any number of reasons that you might have ended up here: you might have received an advertisement in the mail, or a random notification on your phone, or you might have seen the advertising that targets imPorts. All of this advertising will have offered help in investing, getting rich, or opening a new business - generous funding to get everyone a little bit wealthier.

Mark, sitting at his desk, smiles a smile that can generously be described as oily when you're shown in. And he purrs - ]

Please, sit down. Tell me about how you'd like to make money.

3. kicking some grass; De Chima
[ Mark doesn't like to practice where he can be seen. Definitely not. So when he's worked up and anxious, he goes out far away from his family, far away from the people who know him, out into the forests of De Chima. On the unlikely off-chance that your character happens to wander by, they'll be treated to a very strange sight: a small fat man vigorously practicing a judo kata, face miserable, before punching a tree. He turns as soon as he hears them, though, eyes flashing with anger as he snarls - ]

What the hell are you doing here? Go away.

4. fuck it; anywhere
[ Mark's eating ice cream. Come have ice cream. ]

Comments

[jacksonian]

What?

[ He flushes and immediately keys off his audio track. And then curses himself, because the best thing to do would have been to play it cool. He struggles for a lie, but this is the best one he can come up with: ]

No I don't.

[helpline]

Yeah you do. I've got ears, you know.

[ Parliament Funkadelic still plays in the background but the Doctor turns it down a couple of notches, more to the level of annoying background music volume than people actively listening to it. ]

Whatever the answer is, I won't judge. I'm simply curious.

[jacksonian]

I -

[ His face turns even redder. His head ducks down; he plays with the keyboard a moment, plucking at the keys. Finally, he mutters: ]

Because...I'm taking that class.

[ And then, immediately afterwards, defensively: ]

It's none of your business.

[ And then, a muttered lie, far too late: ]

I'm evaluating the book. They sent it to me for...evaluation.

[helpline]

[ Ah. Maybe that's why there's a lot of bluster, because he's essentially faking it til he makes it and doesn't want anyone to find out. ]

People here don't realize that there's more culture shock when you're Ported in than you realize. If your home planet's gotten past a certain level of technology or a certain level of exploration, then it's hard to view things on such a small scale as this Earth that hasn't even made it out of the galaxy.

[ of course, the Doctor is 100% off on his assumption that 'Mark's faking it because this planet's economic system is different,' but details, details. ]

I won't tell, by the way.

[jacksonian]

[ Oh. Mark relaxes. That's a really good lie that the Doctor just handed him. If he didn't detest him so much, he'd almost be grateful; he'll be using that in the future. ]

Uh...Yeah. It - right.

[ He fiddles with his cufflinks, then says: ]

Why not, though?

[helpline]

Cause there's no point in doing so. [ he responds, in a tone of "well DUH." ] Isn't that obvious?

[ No, it is not obvious in the slightest. The Doctor leans back in his chair slightly as he looks over at Mark, continuing that "well DUH" tone as he speaks. ]

You obviously feel of two minds about this--don't be, by the way, there's absolutely nothing shameful about learning. What would I do, tell people just to rub it in their faces? I'm not that petty.

[jacksonian]

[ He looks up again. He's pulled himself together enough that his voice is - thankfully - above a mumble. ]

You want to bring down my company, don't you? This wouldn't do it, but it'd help.

[helpline]

I said if you mess up and fund imPorts who hurt others here, I'd bring you down. To the best of my knowledge, you haven't messed up yet.

[ The Doctor...is still a bit confused, mostly because he occasionally has trouble parsing out things like "people's emotions" and "the logical emotional response to a situation." Why aren't there cue cards for dealing with something like this? ]

[jacksonian]

You know you'll never find out about it if I do, right?

[helpline]

So you think.

[ By now, Parliament Funkadelic's stopped playing. The Doctor, to his credit, hasn't queued up another song yet. ]

[jacksonian]

[ He jerks his chin up defiantly. ]

Sure. Because you're so much smarter than me, right?

[helpline]

Of course not.

[ despite the fact that he feels he IS smarter than Mark but look, the Doctor's already reassured him about Economics 101, even his boneheaded 'not good with nuance' brain is broadcasting DON'T SAY THAT in big red letters. ]

It's because I'm a nosy alien with future tech, too much time on my hands, and, most importantly, friends who are equally nosy.

[jacksonian]

[ Good call, Doctor. Mark's jaw works, but the lack of the expected slap in the face relaxes him enough that he responds bluntly. ]

Yeah. Well. I don't know about you and me, but the people I have behind me are the best on any world. So if it comes to a battle between them, mine will absolutely win out.

[helpline]

Yeah, 'any' world, but which world are we using as a baseline?

[ said with a hint of curiosity. Because depending on some of the worlds the Doctor knows, that's...not saying much. ]

[jacksonian]

[ Even more firmly: ]

There isn't any baseline. They're the best in the Nexus. Or on Earth. Or on any planet you've been to.

[ Then, abruptly: ]

Did you say you're an alien?

[helpline]

[ The Doctor nods, as he continues talking. ]

I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. And, considering I've been traveling through space and time for over a thousand years, let's pick something as a baseline.

[jacksonian]

[ He frowns, dissatisfied and skeptical, but finally offers up: ]

Most of them are Barrayaran. Which I bet means nothing to you, even if you're telling the truth about all that space and time travel.

[helpline]

[ There's a pause, while the Doctor thinks. Barrayaran...surely he's heard of that planet before. How would you make that to the planet's name, Barrayar? He's heard of a few Var planets, but nothing like that. Maybe it's a corruption of something?

This is the longest time in the whole conversation that the Doctor's been silent as he wracks his brain to see if he can remember a 'Barrayar.' Eventually, he comes to the conclusion that he hasn't.

And oh that is such a wonderful conclusion, as the Doctor gives Mark a BIG OL'GRIN. ]

You're right! That means absolutely nothing to me! [ And that's amazing because new planet! New planet to learn about, hell yeah, let's do this thing. ] Where's it located? What's the name of it's major star? I'm assuming there are Earth-like conditions, you look pretty human, after all, but have you achieved space travel yet? Is it part of any sort of planetary confederation?

[jacksonian]

[ Mark had thought he'd gotten him. Totally flummoxed him. And then this - He stares at the Doctor, his face clearly registering the general sentiment of what the fuck is actually wrong with you.

Finally: ]

We're all humans. No aliens at all. And yeah, we have wormhole travel.

[helpline]

[ Where the Doctor's still just like that one kid at the science museum who wants to ask ALL THE QUESTIONS ABOUT DINOSAURS, let's just keep on bothering Mark about this. ]

Would you be able to pinpoint the location on a star map? I might even be able to make one for you, depending on what galaxy you're in.

[jacksonian]

[ Mark shoots the Doctor a look of irritation. ]

I don't need to pinpoint the location.

[ He then proceeds to rattle off a long list of information about very precise location - coordinates in five-space of Barrayar's star, its planetary orbit, its nearest wormhole, and other stuff that doesn't get mentioned in the books themselves because the author doesn't know physics at all. ]

[helpline]

[ gotta love it when the books/tv show don't know shit about real science.

But the Doctor takes in all that information, listening intently as Mark rattles off info. ]

Fascinating, [ he can't help but mutter after the infodump's done. ] I've traveled through that space before, most recently on my way to Pelladon. In my universe, there's nothing there.

[jacksonian]

[ That's...a little freaky, okay. He frowns. ]

Well, different universes. What about -

[ And he gives the coordinates for Jackson's Whole. ]

[helpline]

That's a different planet entirely in my world: Messaline. Your planet there isn't prone to radiation spike, is it?

[ because yeah, this is a little freaky. ]

[jacksonian]

If only.