[ OPEN ]

[ghoulking]

WHO: Kaneki/Sasaki + YOU
WHERE: All imPort cities
WHEN: All through November
WHAT: Catch-all for Sasaneki
WARNINGS: Mentions of cannibalism, gore and violence. Sasaneki's arms and legs currently look like this and his tattoo is located on his neck and it says "Unregistered".

OPEN ; Books and library
[ One of the things that feels most natural for Kaneki is to read, reading is not just a hobby but something that Kaneki always did in order to feel normal, peaceful, happy, or simply to gather his thoughts or to learn. He relies on books a look, even for things he needs to learn in practice – such as farming.

The House in Nonah is a farm, and Daryl has a lot of plans to actually farm the land, have animals and become sort of self-sufficient. While it IS a great idea in Kaneki’s opinion, he himself doesn’t know A THING about farming. So the best way to learn is to read about it, in his opinion. And the library is the best place to find books on farming, of course.

Once inside the building, kaneki will pick a variety of books; as much as he can, actually, eventually carrying a huge pile. It’s not difficult to carry them because he is strong enough, but it’s difficult to see where he is going. So either he bumps into someone inside the library, either he bumps into someone as he is coming out of the building – he does bump into someone and the books just fall all over the floor ]

S-sorry! [ he should have brought bags or something. ] I wasn’t watching where I was going…!



OPEN ; Free samples
[ Food. He has such issues with food and yet Kaneki really does love cooking. It was a big part of his daily life the past three years since he cooked for his subordinates, and as now Hinami-chan can eat human food too, he cooks for her – also for any of his friends who want a meal, of course. So that means he needs to go shopping for the month.

Kaneki avoids supermarkets because of how busy they are, and usually sticks to local markets that sell different kinds of food; these are usually a lot better, he thinks, or at least the products look much nicer (it’s not like he can actually taste them). Of course, the sellers try their best to have a hero buying from them and even offer free samples of their pastries and fruits, hoping Kaneki will love them and buy ]

I don’t eat, I’m sorry. [ but that melon bread looks pretty nice and the man is offering free sample so- Kaneki just turns to the first person he sees, waving lightly ] I’m sorry, could you taste this for me?



SEMI-OPEN ; ”The group” House
[ After he spent the first couple of nights sleeping wherever someone would let him, eventually Kaneki headed to the House. It’s only called the “house” just like the group is only called “the group”, but he never really demanded a better designation and he isn’t about to do so. He is thankful as it is that Daryl and the others allowed him to sleep there (sure, Daryl says he is part of the group, but when you are Kaneki – a cannibal half-human-half-ghoul - you constantly wonder when others will decide that the cannibal needs to go). Plus, to be honest, he doesn’t exactly know anyone else from the group, and they should probably have a saying in this, too-

But that will something to worry about in the future. Right now, Kaneki IS at the house and after he slept for nearly two days straight, he wakes up feeling refreshed enough to act like a normal living being, even if he still doesn’t look like one (and won’t for a while). Kaneki’s arms and legs are still completely missing and so with the use of his powers (the kagune) he is replacing them, which makes him look like he came out of some eldritch horror story; while they do look awkward and clumsy and probably sort of gross, he is pretty good with them, enough that he can actually /cook/ using those things.

In fact, that IS exactly what he is doing. Though Kaneki can’t eat, he does love to cook since it relaxes him, and after waking up he decides cooking pancakes for everyone is the best way to start the day. It was a bit tricky at first thanks to his weird-shaped hands, but once he got the hang of it, Kaneki seems to be at ease – and some pancakes are ready to be eaten, too, currently pilling up on a plate as he finishes the rest while in front of the kitchen stove. ]



Wildcard
[ Write your own prompt or contact me through PM or over vilani , if you wish to plot something with me and Sasaneki! ]

Comments

[ghoulking]

Hm. [ he is used to that. Sasaneki is very well aware he's only 25 and should never have actual kids ] Back home when I was part of the CCG, they assigned me with subordinates. They were four kids, around 18 and 19 years old, and I was meant to mentor, teach and train them to become Ghoul Investigators.

[ he speaks softly, but tries not to show any pain as he talks about them, though there is much. He will never see them again for many reasons, and their current situation was filled with danger so he doesn't even know if they are alright. ] We all lived together, and I had to make sure they were eating well and that they did their homework and I was called "maman" by one. Unironically. [ he IS a huge mother hen, if the way he acts towards Hinami wasn't obvious already ] Saiko, Urie, Mutsuki, Shizaru.

[ he finally has another plate ready with pancakes, and he will approach Daryl to give it to him. ]

Shizaru was killed six months ago by a ghoul. Mucchan was kidnapped recently by another; Saiko-chan and Urie were assigned the mission of entering said ghoul's lair and go retrieve him. [ Probably not alive. If anyone was expecting happiness from this WELL THINK AGAIN. There is no happiness in kaneki's life ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl wasn't even finished with his first plate of pancakes, he really didn't need a second just yet. Or at all. Since he'd had a very different meal already. But he didn't stop Kaneki from putting it down next to him as he tore another chunk out of the first pile of cakes and shoved it into his mouth.

So the kids weren't his literal by blood kids. But kids he'd claimed responsibility for. Found family. Pretty much what everyone in the Group had. He gave himself some time to consider his response while he finished off his current mouthful. Once again, he wiped his hand on his pants before getting back to the plucking. Let his eyes stay focused on the task at hand.]

Sorry 'bout Shizaru. Never easy losing someone.

[ghoulking]

[ Sasaneki isn't going to eat them, so the only person who can is Daryl. Accept that food is a thing he loves giving people, so you gotta deal with it.

Once he is done, he is back next to the stove but only to turn it off and clean everything up. He hums softly at Daryl's words, but honestly? kaneki has lost so many people by now; certainly it's not something he is used to, and specially since Shizaru was his child and someone he was responsible for, thus his death was something that broke Kaneki from within at the time (and he went through a VERY dark and depressive stage for the next six months due to that), but Kaneki is very familiar with loss. Since very young. ]

Everyone loses people. [ he says that a bit harshly, and that's why he bites his own tongue after. He shouldn't have said it like that, he realizes, and that's why after he shakes his head softly and sighs. Daryl too, knows loss - Kaneki has heard about their world from Rick, after all. ] I'm sorry-

I don't deal well with loss. [ he literally goes of rampage and despair and insanity. Mental illness, constant self-blame and hatred, and abandonment issues are never a good combo when dealing with the loss. But at least, after this month spent here, Kaneki has learned to deal with it a bit better - after all he did arrived just a couple of hours after his father killed himself, right in front of him.

Sasaneki's life is a blast. ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Neither did Daryl. He doesn't respond by chastising the kid or anything, though, just lets out a low 'mmm' before he gets back to his plucking. Kid didn't want to talk about it further, Daryl wasn't going to force the issue. He'd already thrown a lifeline out just by offering the condolences. What Keneki did with it was his business.]

Don't gotta cook so much.

[He said both to change the subject and address an issue.]

Most'a'us, we don't eat as much as you put out. Waste of food.

[Still not chastising, but a little more hardlined. Half the house were used to having to go without or eating the bare minimum to get by. Sure the indulged now and again (particularly on pizzas), but it was difficult to see so much made and know it wasn't going to be eaten before it went bad.

That second stack of pancakes Daryl was going to have to force himself to eat just so he didn't end up feeling guilty about tossing it was staring him in the face right then.]

[ghoulking]

[ when Daryl mentions food, Kaneki smiles, amused ] Don't worry. This food isn't just for you - Josuke eats what i make as well. I'm basically feeding him like he's my son. [ he chuckles ] Another.

[ though, no, Kaneki definitively doesn't see Josuke as a kid. He is his best friend, after all. ] No food goes to waste thanks to him.

[ Of course Sasaneki would never throw food away. if there is too much, there are always people to give it to. As he doesn't eat, all the food that someone would buy is mostly for other people, so it's not like he is using other people's food, he buys his own ]

[dirtyredneck]

How often you have him over?

[Just to be sure there's a lack of food waste and also to know about someone not part of the group being around. Daryl hadn't forbidden guests or anything. But he did want to be cautious about how many people knew the exact location of the place. It was supposed to be their home, a spot to get away from the outside world. Too many coming and going could mess that up.]

[ghoulking]

[ Have him over?

Kaneki blinks ]

I don't have him over. I bring the food to him. [ because Kaneki assumed he couldn't bring guests, specially from the way he and Daryl spoke about the place. That and he also sort of still sees himself as a guest, in a way. ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Oh. That made it simpler, then. Daryl didn't say that, but he gave a grunt of understanding. If Kaneki was taking the excess food and not letting it go to waste - without digging into the growing 'emergency' stores Daryl had established at move in - then they were all good. No need to dwell on it.]

Haven't seen Hinami around. She okay?

[ghoulking]

[ He goes silent just for a moment, and his expression turns yet again a bit serious, too ]

This month is the anniversary of her mother's death. She is mourning. [ so it's normal that she won't be around, not really. And sure, Kaneki is in mourning too, since his father died a couple of weeks ago, but he prefers to focus on Hinami since he knows how painful it was for her. ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl's eyes flicked back up to Kaneki before dropping. It was like everyone and their fathers had lost their mothers in this place. And back home, too. Mothers either didn't get to live, or didn't get to keep their babies. Fucking sucked.

He grunted, then leaned back against the wall with a sigh.]

Get out of here and get to whatever you're doing today. I'll take care of the dishes when I'm done.

[The tone wasn't demanding or rude, just tired. Like the effort to make conversation was suddenly draining on him.]

[ghoulking]

[ everyone dies. It's a fact of a ghoul's life.

Sasaneki is silent at first, before he shakes his head, speaking softly ] I'd tell you it's because we are ghouls. But if I'm being honest, it has been like that even when I was a human. [ it's hard for him to admit that his human life had been incredibly shitty as well, since before he always saw it as something to be thankful for. But his father died and he didn't even remember him, his mother abused him when he was just a tiny kid, then she dies, then the aunt who adopted him abused him as well... honestly? being Kaneki is a tragedy. ]

I guess some people are just born with tragedy in their blood. [ that's a quote from Donnie Darko, he knows. ]

But I think I'm glad too. Despite everything, there is still more, and that's important. [ more family, friends, people to love and care for. More to live for. This was also something Kaneki wouldn't truly admit to, before - because he didn't want to live. ] Isn't there? [ even with all that is happening in Daryl's world - they have things to fight and live for. people. Their group- ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl went deathly still as soon as the words "when I was a human" left Keneki's mouth. He'd always talked about how he wasn't human, how he was a ghoul and he'd made it very clear the two were separate species. That they weren't like the walkers. Humans couldn't just turn into them. It felt like a gut punch. He'd been lied to when he'd been doing his best to trust the kid and accept him into the group.

All the rest of it just slid away. That strand of hopefulness got lost in the cacophony of betrayal raging inside Daryl's head.

He pressed his lips together and stared for a long time, hands loose as they rested on his knees, the only thing that was relaxed about him right then.

And in the softest, quietest voice, laced with anger he was fighting to hold back:]

What do you mean when you was human?

[ghoulking]

[ Every time Kaneki is compared to a zombie, he really wonders how is he even like one. Aside from the need to eat human flesh, the usual zombies (not Hazel, sure) are dead and feel no pain or get sick, they are rotting, can eat anything that moves and are permanently hungry, have no intelligence or ability to speak, they can infect others, and they literally came from humans, which technically makes them humans. The only similarity between them and ghouls are the whole "eating humans" part, literally nothing else is the same.

It's good that Daryl didn't actually voice it because this is a very serious matter to Kaneki. He was tricked by a doctor who was meant to save his life and decided to play god instead and turned him into a ghoul; Kaneki was forced into this and unlike a walker who can't think or feel and is dead, he thought and felt and had to live through all of it and consciously experience all of it as well. His very own biology was forcibly changed into something he had always considered monstrous, and he was shunned by both humans and ghouls for it; people tried to kill him for not being human, and ghouls tried to kill him for not being a ghoul; and both sides used him as well.

All he ever wanted was to go on a date and ended up as Ghoul savior.


But there is a pause. This happened 7 years ago (technically five, if he doesn't count the years he spent in this world), and it felt like a lifetime, and it has been such a long time ever since Kaneki admitted to having been human before. Ever since he accepted that he was a ghoul, his humanity became so small; he couldn't be a human, not with the kind of life he lead. Being a human while doing the things he did would only drive him into despair, though his humanity is what gave him the chance to build everything he did. So it's not something he should dismiss, even if it's something he rarely mentions. ]

I was born human. When I was 18, a crazy doctor put ghoul organs into me after I was in an accident. [ that's the very short version, but he doesn't know if Daryl wants anything other than that as he doesn't like to talk about and understand what Kaneki is. Sasaneki knows why this sort of surgery was possible, though the success rate is two in... thousands. ] When i woke up, I stopped being able to eat and slowly realized what it meant. [ VERY slowly, like he went around eating human food and puking his guts out for who knows how long ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl's eyes dropped to his hands. They were spattered with tiny bits of blood from the plucking. Nothing easily seen from where Keneki stood and nothing like the blood that had covered them earlier when he was hunting. When he'd forced himself to tear into the flesh of that rodent a moment after he's snapped it's neck. Still fresh and living enough to count because the the body didn't realize it was dead yet. Blood still pumping and everything. There were days when that didn't work, when he took too long and had to find another to bite into and force himself to ignore the tiny screams of pain before it died slowly of blood loss.

A quick and sudden shudder shook Daryl and he had to push himself away from the wall. He usually did a good job of not thinking about the specifics of what kind of thing this world had literally forced him to become. But Keneki's confession hit too close to home. And it wasn't even this world that did it to him. It was his own damn world and the sick fucks that lived there.

Daryl looked just about as uncomfortable as he felt. The bird he'd been plucking still needed to be finished, but it was going to be hard to do it with Kaneki still there. He brought his forearm up to his face and wiped across his brow.]

You should get out of here. I'll do the dishes when I'm done.

[He was repeating himself, but he didn't know what else to say or do and this was just a lot of heavy shit he wasn't ready to deal with.]

Take Hinami and get out of the house for a few hours if she ain't gone already. Get some air.

[ghoulking]

[ there are many reasons why Kaneki doesn't tell people about his own life. Mostly because it's an endless greek tragedy and there is just SO MUCH that he isn't sure where to even begin after everything that happened, and also because Kaneki dismisses it harder than anyone ever would. But with Daryl? Basically any word can be turned into some sort of trigger.

Case in point: right now.

It's frustrating, as if he has to walk on egg shells about his own life, his own person and his own existence - and bit by bit Kaneki realizes that it's better if he just doesn't tell Daryl anything about himself at all, ever. It's easier to just keep quiet, plus he doesn't want to risk being kicked out of the house (he doesn't care, but Hinami can't keep jumping from place to place. Plus, as she is a child, it's better if there is a group who can take her in, in case Kaneki vanishes yet again).

he will also do as told. If he is told to get out, he will. but he isn't going to apologize for his own goddamn life, specially given it was all done to him without his consent. Sure, it was his own fault for being weak and naive, but he never asked for any of this bullshit. ]

I'm not the one who needs air.

[ clearly.

And with that he will exit the kitchen and head upstairs to grab Hinami and leave ]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl waited to throw his knife at the wall until after he heard the door shut behind them. Kaneki was right. But Daryl was trying real hard to fight the urge to go outside and empty his stomach and fresh air would only help that along.]