One Jump Ahead of the Lawmen ( CLOSED )

[sidecars]

WHO: Bucky Barnes sidecars and Robin performance
WHERE: Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Early May
WHAT: Bucky and Robin compete to take down a bank robber, and it doesn't end well.
WARNINGS: N/A



[ The local bank's alarm can be heard a block away, which is what ultimately draws Bucky's curiosity from a nearby bakery. He's still stuffing a cream puff into his mouth when he rounds the corner and see just where the commotion is coming from. Most people go on with their lives here having dealt with it day in and day out. A few gawk and try to take video once the robber and his cohorts fly out the double doors and down the street.

Looks like there's no one there to help catch 'em—Oh wait! Scratch that. Two go down from being hit in the back by something. It looks like a shuriken, but that's not what it is. Then the hero of the day descends with acrobatic ease and kicks one man staggering back on his feet to the ground for good. ]

Oh Lord... [ Bucky recognizes that dumb cape. It's the Boy Wonder, Robin. What a show off! All of a sudden, Bucky's interest decidedly wanes until he sees the last man, the one with the cash, hightail it past him with Robin hot on his tail. As the kid passes, Bucky can't help but ask, ] Need help there, shrimp?

Comments

[sidecars]

Please, I was thwarting evil before your daddy was an itch in his daddy's pants.

[ And since Bucky doesn't rely on a strong secret identity, all he needs to do is slap on his domino mask and chase after them both. ]

You know I could just kneecap him for ya.

[ It's a complete joke, but does Dick really know that? ]

[performance]

[ Yeah, when your secret identity is just your nickname, it's not the best cover, sorry Buck. Robin scoffs as Bucky catches up, and the thief darts out into the street and behind a passing freight truck, which is enough cover for Robin to lose sight of him for half a second. ]

We don't kneecap people!

[ Sorry, not funny. Better keep up as Robin launches himself onto the roof of a car slowing down at a stoplight. NO TIME FOR CROSSWALKS. ]

[sidecars]

I kneecap people.

[ Okay? Don't try and lump him in with you like you are better than him for not kneecapping people! AND CLEARLY THERE'S NO TIME FOR CROSSWALKS. Bucky actually hesitates for a moment, making sure the car does indeed actually stop and then he follows after. It's not as graceful as Robin's show off move, but he gets there.

He's got ground to cover, so Bucky pumps those legs until he's on pace with the shrimp. ]

Hey! Ugly! I'm gonna catch you whether you like it or not, so ya might as well quit while you can!

[ Seriously, why does anyone do it this way? He could shoot him, take him down, be done with it already. ]

[performance]

Is that your idea of banter? [ Robin almost sounds amused. ] Sounds like you're out of practice.

[ Okay, so he should be focusing on the guy they're chasing down, but that's so routine. He could take down bank robbers in his sleep! ]

[sidecars]

Oh stuff it, little birdy. My targets don't live long enough to talk with 'em.

[ SO WHAT IF HE'S A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE? YOU SHUT UP!! And if it's so routine, how come you haven't caught him yet? HUH HUH??

Coming down the street is a surprised bicyclist who swerves out of the way of the robber and head straight for the pair of them. So what's a kid to do? Simple! Push Robin closer to the bike while he gets the fuck out of the way. ]

[performance]

Hey—!

[ Robin could have dodged it easily if the cyclist hadn't also tried to swerve and overcompensated. Which leaves Robin doing a less-than-grateful emergency weave between the people on the sidewalk, bumping into a man in a suit, and making an ass of himself. "Sorry," he sputters quickly before darting off to chase down Bucky again.

If Bucky gets to the robber first, he swears ... ]

[sidecars]

Straw! [ Yeah, that's right. Bucky's breaking out the Vaudeville jokes. ] Looks like you're a little out of practice, shrimp!

[ Well get your best swear words ready, because his patience with his robber is over. He pulls out a handgun and fires one shot (don't worry, Robin, it's rubber) into the man's calf. And rubber or not, those fuckers still hurt. The robber pitches to the side stumbling and getting nowhere fast.

That's when ol' Bucky comes over to put a helpful knee into his back. ]

[performance]

[ Yeah, all he sees is gun and a guy falling as Bucky tackles him to the ground, and Robin's right there at his side, halfway to punching him for that. ]

Are you insane?! I had him! You didn't have to do that!

[sidecars]

Have to what? [ His face is the perfect mask of placid innocence as he hands over his handgun to Robin for a closer inspection. ] Use non-lethal force so he doesn't put anyone else in danger? I'm not a murderer, you know.

[ At least he hopes the kid understand that/ They may have vastly different perspectives on survival and justice, but when he's in the civilian sphere he plays by the rules. He isn't going to take a civilian life unless it's absolutely necessary. ]

[performance]

... Rubber bullets.

[ Well, now he feels like an idiot, and boy is that a bad look for him. He glares down at Bucky, all that self-righteousness and worry having nowhere to go, leaving him... frustrated. And jealous that Bucky got there first. He wants to accuse the kid of tricking him, of doing that on purpose just to make him look bad, but that's crazy.

Robin's the one who overreacted. He just has to deal with that. ]

Fine. You... did a good job.

[ He bites back an "I guess" as he fishes a pair of cuffs out of his belt and hands them to Bucky. ]

You know how to use these things?

[sidecars]

[ Bucky simply rolls his eyes at the compliment, if you can even call it that. He knows he did good. That's what he does! ]

What—Handcuffs? I'm not a junior detective here! I'm a soldier. [ His laughter should be telling Robin that, no, Bucky does not know nor has he ever used handcuffs on people. ] I can pick handcuffs, but uhhh... that's about it.

Besides, it's one against two. You really think he's gonna go anywhere if we wrench his arm the wrong way? He'll be the perfect gentleman!

[performance]

That's not the point! It's the process. [ Why is it that talking to this guy always makes him feel so... stuffy? GOD. ] You catch the robber, you tie them up, and you deliver them to the police station. That's it.

[ This poor bank robber, having to listen to these kids argue while his leg bruises. ]

[sidecars]

"It's the process." [ He mimics the shrimp's exasperated tone with glee. ] Jeez Louise, when did you get cute?

You know, I'm the one that technically caught him, so shouldn't I get dibs on what we do with him? What if we strung him up upside down from the lamp post and then sent the police an anonymous tip?

[ Now he's just being an ass to ruffle Robin's little birdy feathers. ]

[performance]

Okay, fine, what if?

[ Two can play this game, buddy, and it's not like he and Batman have never left a guy hanging from a building before. ]

[sidecars]

[ Bucky opens his mouth instinctively to make a retort and then closes it. Because he didn't expect the little punk to go for it. ]

Well... We should do it! Make an example of him............ I don't have rope, though.

[ Damn, he really hadn't thought this through. ]

[performance]

And you call yourself an expert. [ Sorry, he can't help the little smirk. ]

[sidecars]

[ AUUGH! Bucky is throwing his hands up at you and your stupid little snark. ]

Well it's not like I take prisoners of war in a place like this! Why would I need ro— Oh goddamnit!

[ He had let go of the robber and there he goes trying to escape. What a jerk. ]