Pull point plot!

[vorbarra]

WHO: Vorsoaps family and others.
WHERE: Probably mostly DC#7, but all over.
WHEN: March 27 - April 6
WHAT: Ageswap shenanigans ahoy.
WARNINGS: None, actually, except for rampant spoilers for the whole series, most likely, so if you care about that sort of thing, be warned!

Comments

[keep_nothing]

[ She's fighting back a laugh in the face of his confusion which just ends up twisting her smile instead. ]

Remember how we talked about putting up a front so people won't know what you're really thinking? It's kind of like that, at least in her case.

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor eyes her contorted smile suspiciously. ]

But she can be mean about it. I've been trying to be harder to read lately but it's not like that.

[keep_nothing]

Well, there's trying to learn it and having to learn it to survive, [ she explains calmly, patiently. It's the same tone she always uses (used?) when she's about to explain something abstract to him. ] I seem to recall her saying that her life wasn't always easy. She may have had to be mean to survive where she's from.

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor, at least, does not do too badly with the abstract for his age. ]

Oh. [ He thinks back harder. ] I... sort of remember that. I guess I just-- [ Gregor hesitates. ] I wish she remembered me better, so she'd know I wasn't dangerous.

[ Since he equates keeping people at bay with them being dangerous, well-trained to justified paranoia as he is. ]

[keep_nothing]

You'll just have to convince her. Do what feels best and she'll get to know you again.

[vorbarra]

I don't know. I seem different when I'm older.

[ Like he knows what he's doing. ]

[keep_nothing]

Everyone's different when they're older, love. Aren't I different like I am now?

[vorbarra]

[ An evaluatory pause. ]

A little. You don't seem that different to me.

[ By which he means his exposure to her thus far has been entirely in a maternal capacity, which of all things is unchanged. ]

[keep_nothing]

Really?

[vorbarra]

... You told me not to use your title and then hugged me and told me I'd be a great emperor.

[ He's not seeing much difference, mom. ]

[keep_nothing]

[ She laughs. ]

I guess you're right.

[vorbarra]

[ With the kind of laser-guided acuity he'd learned from her: ]

Why? Do you feel different?

[keep_nothing]

[ Her laughing smile turns wistful. ]

I'm feeling older, love.

[vorbarra]

[ He examines her more critically, but he's not sure how to articulate what he's thinking, so he settles on another question. ]

Older as in...?

[keep_nothing]

[ She sighs softly, turning her head so she can rest her cheek against his dark hair. ]

Sometime in the past three years, I somehow switched from counting my years not up from birth, but back from death.

[vorbarra]

[ He digests this, trying to ignore the little flop that incites in his heart, thinking of her getting close to dying. Like he'll turn around one day and she just won't be there, like his mother...

Gregor breathes out. ]

But you don't know when you'll die, [ he points out, quietly. ] So there's nothing to count back from.

[keep_nothing]

You're right, there is always that uncertainty. But I am Betan, love. I have a longer lifespan than most everyone on Barrayar. It's not a firm number, but a good guess.

[vorbarra]

[ His voice goes a little flat with suppressed urgency. ]

Or you could die tomorrow. Today. You shouldn't... be thinking about dying. [ Fingers tighten possessively in the cloth of her skirt or pant leg, whichever it is. ] It'll happen anyway. You told me not to think about it.

[ Admittedly that was many, many years ago for this Cordelia. But Gregor has faint nightmare-inducing memories of his fleeing through the hillside, and in that lightflyer, and moreover he has everyone around him constantly protecting him from death. Impossible for a kid not to think about it sometimes, in response. Why would everyone be so worried unless it was possible? And it wasn't hard to believe, with all of his family dead in one fell swoop in the same year, Miles himself a physical reminder of how endangered they all are...

At some point she'd certainly had to discuss it with him. ]

[keep_nothing]

Oh ... [ She tightens her arms around him, almost painfully, the way she could never hold Miles, trying to reassure him with her sheer physical presence. ] I know, love. It was harder before when—it's only a passing thought now and then. I don't think of it so much anymore.

[vorbarra]

Good, [ he mumbles into her shirt, abandoning pretense and burrowing into her. ]

I'm glad you're here.

[keep_nothing]

[ She presses another kiss to his hair, murmuring into the dark waves. ]

Me too, love. And I'm glad you're here.