maskormenacelogs | OCTOBER CATCH-ALL

[Jaime's not sure how he feels about that. It's one thing that he's still alive, but Riku backed him into a corner, right? If Roxas was open to the possibility of fusing with Sora, that was one thing, but he hadn't wanted it.

He's hard pressed to think of a greater betrayal of self than to be behest to the consciousness and actions of another for the rest of your life. He glances down at the table, mouth twitching into a frown.]

Does that mean that you were successful? That he actually went back to Sora? Because he's sure as heck his own person here.

[He had at first, but he feels like... in the end, it was a choice Roxas made.]

... Yeah. But he remembers all of it, which means he's past that point. I'm not really sure whether he's from the same time point as me or not, but... it's close enough.

[He's not looking at Jaime anymore -- he can smell the distaste Jaime has for the whole idea, and he doesn't blame him. ]

When I look back on it, I'm... torn, you know? Because frankly, it's unforgivable, that DiZ and I did that.

...so what's there to be torn about?

[He'll ask about how Roxas is the way he is later. Right here and now, he wants to get Riku's honest opinion on the matter. If he's torn, that means part of him thinks it was worth it, right? To get his friend back?

Jaime likes to think that he wouldn't do the same, but he knows how important those lifelong friends are, and how easy it is to become desperate when you think they're in danger. But that's not a path that he ever wants to go down.]

[Now he's looking at Jaime again, eyes flicking back up to his face, and he can't answer for a moment -- the words won't come. What else would he be talking about? But that's a snappy retort, and that's not what he's looking for here. He takes a breath, tries to articulate his thoughts. He's forgotten all about the tea in front of him.]

... I don't... when I look back, I can see all these other options, things I could have done differently. But I couldn't then, and I couldn't see him just... never wake up, either. Even if it means I have blood on my hands instead. I'd rather it be me than him.

[Honestly, if he wanted to, he could point out that he only delivered Roxas, and played security detail, while DiZ did the actual job. But shifting the blame doesn't change anything, and even though he was cowardly at the time, he isn't anymore, or at least, he tries not to be. He knows it'd be a stupid thing to say, anyway.]

I don't know. I'm just... words are just words. I can't give you an excuse, because there aren't any.

You mean you would rather it be Roxas' blood than your friend's, [Jaime says, voice quiet, matter-of-fact. Everything about him is so quiet and gentle that sometimes it's difficult to remember that he's not willing to pull any punches when he's talking about something as important as this.

And it is important to talk about it, and not to mince words. Jaime takes responsibility for what he's done that he perceives as wrong, whether it's the failure to save people or his willingness to kill the Negotiator provided he was incinerated along with him, and he expects those around him to do the same.

Roxas deserved better. Perhaps Sora deserved better too, and perhaps even Riku deserved better, but you don't get to choose your circumstances. You only get to choose what you do with them, and Riku made his choice.]

You said Roxas remembers. Does that mean that he was able to become his own person after that too, or was he just trapped?

I'd have done anything at that point. Maybe if I knew about the way Roxas was at the time, I might have stopped. All I knew was he was what had come from Sora. I didn't know the truth. Not that it matters now.

[It's not specifically Roxas -- anyone, even Riku himself, as long as it fixed things. But it could only have been Roxas, because he held the last of Sora inside of him. But Jaime's right, and even though he's feeling pressured and wants to try to find the correct answer, all he has is what happened.

But then Jaime asks about Roxas and he frowns, because he doesn't know. He's not far enough along to know the things they learned later, Sora meeting Roxas in the Sleeping Worlds -- he only has the knowledge he has now.]

Sora told me he saw him after. But I don't know the circumstances. Honestly, that's something you'd have to ask Roxas himself.

[Jaime's quiet. He closes his eyes for a moment, pressing his fingers to his lips. Does he understand the full situation? No. He hardly even understands what Roxas is, just understands that he needs to accept him, not to underestimate him based on his lived-age alone, that he's his own person. Not having a metaphorical heart, being part of another person is all just a little too metaphysical for him.

Riku seems to understand it, though, by virtue of having lived through it alone. Finally, he says,] It's not like I'm in any place to accept excuses even if you wanted to make them. That's all up to Roxas. He's the only guy that can judge you too.

[It's not Jaime giving Riku forgiveness, but this isn't his crime to forgive in the first place. Even knowing that, though, it does weaken the blow that Riku hadn't known exactly what Roxas was. Maybe that's due to never making the effort to do so, but desperate people do stupid things.]

Look, Riku... I know we only just met, so it's not my place to tell you what to do, but have you thought about talking to Roxas yourself? We're all in this together, and I'm betting you'll be running into him sooner rather than later. It sounds like this whole thing will just be the elephant in the room.

[He's not telling him anything new, of course.]

I know. And I have. I've left it open for him, because it's not my place to force my apology on him. I can only set it in front of him, and whether he takes it or not is his right.

[He looks away again, and he looks a little frustrated. All of this... because he opened his stupid mouth again.]

If something happens between us now, it'll be because he wanted it to happen. I have to be happy with that. There are details I've left out of the story I told you now, because whether he wants anyone to know more than that is up to him.

[He's thought about this a lot in the last year or so. Even if he didn't respect Roxas then, he can certainly do it now. And he'd understand if Jaime thought he should back off with Minato, after this -- he's certainly not the best option out there.]

[So it's on Roxas then, isn't it? Jaime's not certain what that implies, but it sure sounds like Roxas decided independently that he didn't want all that much to do with Riku. And really, could anyone blame the kid?

Satisfied, he leans back in his chair, cupping his mug close to his chest as he takes it all in. This complicates matters more than he'd like, but nothing's really changed, not unless Riku does something bad in the here and now. It's like he said; forgiveness is up to Roxas to give.]

Then that's all you can do, [he says, simply enough.] I'll be talking to him. Not necessarily to find out more, but he deserves to know how much I know.

[Of course it's on Roxas, because Riku's not going to try to reach out when he feels like he needs to back off.

He certainly doesn't consider himself a hero, but he can't see himself doing something legitimately bad again, either. Certainly not like when he and Sora clashed, and even something more recent like the stuff with Roxas (which honestly is starting to feel like a long time ago too) is something that he'd like to avoid.]

Yeah. I... don't know if he'll appreciate that I told you, but... if you're asking about me, then he factors in.

I'll be telling him that I was the one who asked, [Jaime says, voice firm. Perhaps he doesn't agree with what Riku's done, but he can take responsibility for his part in it as well. He knew it could be a violation of Roxas' privacy and he went ahead and did it anyway.

He could say that it was for Minato's sake, to figure out what kind of guy Riku is - as it turns out, a complicated one - but really, he was just nosy.]

So you don't have to worry about at least that much. I just can't not tell him, is all.

Mm.

[He looks down at the table for a moment, then nods.]

Yeah. I can understand that. I don't want to keep things like that from him, either. He deserves that much.

... Here, give me your mug.

[It has to be cold by now, right?]

[Jaime blinks, a little startled by the sudden change of subject, though there isn't much left to say about the whole thing. They're not going to find any resolutions here. After all, Jaime's only peripherally involved in both Riku and Roxas' lives, and he's only just met one of them.

He hands over his mug obediently as he says,] Uh, sure. Why?

[He ignores him for a moment, looking down at Jaime's mug intently for a moment. In his hand, a small flame appears, and he sort of rubs it into the side of the cup. Instantly, it's steaming again, and he hands it back to do the same thing to his own.]

Here.

[He can do this, at least.]

Oh!

[So that's what he was doing. Jaime had forgotten his tea as all but a prop in the last conversation. It's a nice gesture.]

Thank you.

[That said, the next silence drags on just long enough to become awkward. Jaime's just a little lost for words; seldom has a conversation turned this deep this quickly, and knowing so much about Riku's past and so little about the person himself... well, he's not sure what to say.

He winds up shaking himself out of it and clears his throat before saying,] So... you can use magic, then?

Mm.

[Riku has that issue. A lot of his recent life has been very serious, so he ends up there quite fast.

He looks up at Jaime when he speaks again, and he smiles gently -- he can tell he feels weird all of a sudden.]

Yeah. Elemental stuff, and healing. I mean, it's called magic. I don't know if it's got a scientific explanation or not.

[Wally argued over this with him ages ago.]

Well, if it's magic, then it probably just works by its own rules. It doesn't really matter if it's got a scientific explanation or not, does it?

[Jaime, on the other hand, isn't comfortable with magic, but he is comfortable with its existence. His girlfriend has incredibly powerful magic at her disposal, and he tends to see it in the air, smell it like he does all energy. It's not particularly pleasant to him - it's the only thing that can reliably kill him - but there's no denying it.]

[He quirks a smile, looking down at the hand he cast the spell with, then back to Jaime.] One of the earliest conversations I had here about my magic was Wally telling me how not-magic it was.

[Riku doesn't mind magic -- he can't, really, when he himself has access to it. Though when his energy is depleted, he can't use it, so perhaps it does have a scientific explanation.]

Oh, Wally. He's just dumb about magic; ignore him, [he says with a dismissive wave of his hand.] You can't say that something doesn't exist just because we don't understand it. It's like someone from way back when looking at the stars and deciding they couldn't exist because we couldn't understand them yet.

You can't really fake the results.

[He can understand his atheism. You cannot see God. But magic is everywhere, and is performed by so many that it's difficult to just pretend like it's nothing.]

[He smiles quietly, leaning his chin in his hand.]

He was like, "it's an energy transfer!" or something. I don't know. I'm not a science type, so I ... don't really remember. I'm sure he'd be happy to reiterate.

I don't know what his definition of 'magic' is. I think that's part of the misunderstanding here. It's just something that comes with the Keyblade.

Edited 2015-11-08 07:39 (UTC)

We've got magic in our world - or our worlds - too. I think the whole thing with magic is that it's not really something you can define, y'know? You've got magical things like your Keyblade, I guess, and then there's people who just have magic living inside them.

[Frankly, Jaime's just as happy not to be one of those people. It seems complicated enough having the Scarab without having magic to complicate it.]

Yeah. But without the Keyblade, I can still cast magic. So I feel like it's... almost a focusing tool? Maybe it's just in the way you use the energy, not where it comes from. Hah, I can't really define it, either.

[Riku doesn't mind so much, except for the part where heart magic is also a thing. Having dabbled in it, he's not all that proud.]

Could you cast magic before you got it, though? I dunno much about magical objects, but it seems like the kind of thing that could act like a...

[He snaps his fingers, trying to place the proper word.]

A catalyst.

Um, sort of. Definitely not before I had the potential. But when I left our world for the first time, Maleficent showed me how to do a couple of things. Maybe, even though I couldn't summon it, I had it at the time. It's... hard to say.

[Technically, he only actually received his Keyblade much later than Sora.]

Hmm.

[Jaime may have insatiable curiosity about some things, but the technicalities of magic on another world isn't one of them. He's fine with just saying it's magic and leaving it at that. He doesn't even understand magic on his own world; what's the likelihood of him understanding it on another?]

Well, I guess it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? What matters is that you've got it -- and what you do with it, I guess.

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in which jaime ignores 'maleficent' for the sake of our future thread WHY THE EVIL WITCH RIKU