caladrius: (As a rusty moon fills the sky)
Hope Estheim ([personal profile] caladrius) wrote in [community profile] maskormenacelogs2014-04-10 02:25 pm

(no subject)

WHO: Hope and Lightning
WHERE: The training facility Lightning works at, and may move on from there.
WHEN: April 10, evening
WHAT: During their first day, a promise was made. Hope thinks it's time that Lightning made good on it.
WARNINGS: Angst and LR spoilers. More to be added if they come up.


It's been a little over a month since arriving and reuniting with Lightning, and almost every day the questions have been building up in Hope's mind. She's from a future timeline after all, and he's fairly sure that it's terrible there, but he doesn't know how terrible. He knows he's been used by Bhunivelze himself for something other than to guide Lightning, and he wants to know what it is.

Because it definitely had made Lightning suspicious of him at the beginning, and that gives him an overly complicated mix of emotions that are quite like guilt, anger and sadness. A lot of guilt and the need to be sorry for what he had (he will) put her through in that timeline, and what he'll be asking her to do today. He has to know though-- he knows he may not be able to do a thing about it here, but Light shouldn't be the only one to know the story. If she's burdened, he'll try and take on his own share of it.

As always, when he arrives at Light's workplace, Hope knocks on the door to announce himself before pushing it open. If there are people inside, then he can put his back against the wall and watch as he waits. If she's done with work, then he can attempt to set this much-needed talk in motion.

"Good evening. Light?"
heralding: (Default)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-10 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
When Hope arrives, the last of the people she teaches had just left, so she's in the process of cleaning up. Lightning only turns to give him a nod in acknowledgement. Hope knows her routine. Even though there are men who clean up, she doesn't want to make their jobs any more difficult. Plus, she's disciplined enough to feel as if this is required of her. A good soldier always had to take part in the clean-up process before departing for the day. And Lightning was a model soldier.

Up to a point.

When she finishes, she crosses the open space to join Hope, brushing her hands off. "Good evening, Hope," she finally greets formally. "You didn't come to watch." Or participate, for that matter. She figures he would have arrived earlier if it was for either of those reasons, but the fact deserves a remark.
heralding: (life would be easier if we were atheists)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-13 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
There's a quick glance away in understanding. That's why he came here. No one at home would need to be privy to that information, and the truth is, Lightning would prefer it. There are aspects of it that she's spoken about openly and unafraid, because that's her life. And the people she met in that life deserve to be celebrated—not just her family, but the various individuals all over Nova Chrysalis who learned how to lived their lives in spite of the chaos.

But knowing about the chaos, about those circumstances, isn't the same as knowing what led to it and all the details surrounding it.

"Yes, it is," she says. "Would you prefer to remain here, or go elsewhere?" Lightning doesn't care about surveillance. What she saw in that file told her that this government knew exactly what she'd gone through. Still, there might be somewhere that Hope prefers more.
heralding: (people can't handle my awesome.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-13 06:47 am (UTC)(link)
Lightning deliberates for a moment. No matter the setting, it won't make it easier for him to hear what is coming. But she knows that he's ready. That he took this long to come to this conclusion is enough of a sign. She had requested that he not blame himself when he hears. She doesn't know if he'll be able to do that, but she can hope; it's the least either of them could do.

"Let's just walk around." It's nice there, anyway, and compared to some places they traversed back home, it was sometimes even better than nice. Lightning didn't mind it, humidity and all.

"We'll rest if we need to." If he needs to is the implication. Lightning isn't one who has ever been much for rest, which she knows he'll recall.
heralding: (awkwardly standing around.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-14 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Had it been anyone else, she might have rolled her eyes at the door being held open, but Lightning doesn't mind it so much when it's Hope. There are certain mannerisms that he carries that don't surprise her at all. Hope is someone who is, by nature, good, helpful, eager to be there before anyone else; she did watch him grow up from Valhalla, after all.

Then again, she watched everyone.

She gives him a slight nod as she passes then, stepping outside to look into the evening. Lightning's learned a little about how time works here. Compared to two months ago when she first arrived, it's much lighter out. It'll be good to walk in, even if the veil of night doesn't bother her.

"Do you have any questions before I begin?"
heralding: (you did what with a fork?)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-15 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
"There's much you do not know," she begins with his response as a prompting. "I may leave something out. I was used to you being familiar with ... well, everything." That ellipsis gives room for her to give him a hint to what he'll hear. As Bhunivelze's vessel of sorts, Hope was allowed to have access to a great deal of information that other people would not. Lightning wishes she could tell him the full extent of what happened there, but she knows she can't.

"But I'll start at the beginning, with the memory that only Serah had." Lightning knows herself that to Hope, that is the more immediate of circumstances. Though Lightning doesn't think of it that way. In some ways, it was so long ago. In others, it felt like it was just yesterday. She had allowed the moments of that day to swirl in her mind as she tried to find a way to communicate with Hope, Show, and Serah outside of Valhalla. If only they could know differently. Hope will know differently now, at least.

"When we awoke from our crystal sleep, it was a miracle granted by Etro. All the lives who passed that day opened up the gate to Valhalla, and from there, we were able to experience that miracle ourselves." She slows in her steps as she explains, but doesn't stop moving. She's just pacing herself, even if she looks forward and intends to keep moving in that direction, too. "But that action caused a disturbance, and chaos swept forward ... sweeping me away, and permanently altering the timeline. It worked in combination with Etro. I woke up in Valhalla, and I found myself granted the position of being Etro's protector. I would protect Valhalla, and it was not a duty I took lightly. From there, I saw the future, I saw the potential of what would come, and hoped that Serah, you, Snow, and Noel would help set things right."

It's not the complete summary, but she feels it's a good place to begin.
heralding: (don't let this win!)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-16 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
"It's ... hard to describe, exactly." There are two types of chaos, after all. But Hope, at least, will accept her definition more readily than others who have. That's in part because he knows of Etro. They all do, even if they didn't believe in l'Cie, they knew the myths. The fal'Cie were a very real part of their bedtime stories from when they were children.

Of course, for people like Lightning and Hope, those stories had transformed into very real nightmares.

"The chaos ... in its usual form is within all of us. Chaos makes up the souls that we carry within us, and those souls are a gift from Etro." By that definition, Lightning knows chaos itself is not bad. But then, there's a different kind. She pauses, and then presses on. "Then there is the unseen chaos. A different force of its own. It was hidden within Etro's Temple, and when she passed, it spread throughout the world, swallowing it whole. That ... happened when Noel was forced to kill Caius Ballad." Even now, there's a surge of agitation in saying Caius' name. She respects the man much more now, but that doesn't mean she likes him.
heralding: (i hate clones.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-16 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
"You're right. That was Caius. Etro ... gave Caius a gift," she says, and there's a surge of agitation in her brief words. A gift. Lightning doesn't reject Etro. In many ways, she is Etro, or the second coming of her. Lightning is, after all, the vessel, left empty so that she would one day take on that same role. Of course, she rejected it. Etro had never intended for her to be that person as far as Lightning knows.

"That gift was to live forever to be there for a girl named Yeul. Some Yeuls were glad for that gift. Others were unhappy and wanted him to be freed. And Caius himself, more than anything, sought a way to free her from that curse." She huffs at this point. Lightning does not blame him. She even admires him, but she also saw that he turned himself into: a being that, in the world enveloped in chaos, could never die. Yeul, the source of the unseen chaos, would keep bringing him back.

That's actually something she needs to explain.

"Yeul is the source of the unseen chaos. Her existence is what gives birth to it, and Caius sought a way to give her something better." She shakes her head. "That 'something better' is the world I saw last. Needless to say, he didn't do a very good job of it."
Edited 2014-04-16 20:23 (UTC)
heralding: (hair covering face thoughts.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-18 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)
"Her heart was present within his chest." Lightning knows that this is where Hope is going to get the idea. "He could only be killed by his successor. A man named Noel Kreiss." It's there that she knows she has to tell him more so that his imagination doesn't get the best of him, so she presses on. "Noel and Serah fought Caius but refused to kill him. They knew what he wanted, but still, Caius forced his hand ... and it was that which unleashed the unseen chaos upon the world."

Only at the end of that does her voice quaver unsteadily. Having emotions again still surprises her. She doesn't relate these things without hesitance as she might have back on Nova Chrysalis when Bhunivelze intended to turn her into another emotionless vessel of god. But there are few things that evoke this level of emotion from here, and referring to her sister is one of them. Referring to where she led to her sister is also one of them.

"The world was swallowed up ..." she continues. "You, Noel, and Snow worked together to create a world that could live on. And in that time, I went to sleep, taking Serah's soul with me to ... protect it."
heralding: (sulking sulking.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-21 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Her inability to say what's so obvious led to a grave misunderstanding. Lightning looks wounded, and almost wilts underneath Hope's touch after the question he asks. No, it wasn't Caius who killed Serah. Serah had been strong enough to withstand his efforts. It had been Lightning herself. Lightning had sent her along that path to witness all those futures, and she died in the process.

Lightning only straightens up and gives the slightest shakes of her head. No, it seems to say, that's not what happened.

"Yeul's life was limited by the visions she saw. Every time she had a vision, her life was cut short." Lightning suppresses her emotions to step on, further locking them away so she can offer Hope this explanation. "Serah ... she also had the eyes of Etro. In order to set the future right, she saw many paths, and was able to act on them."

I helped her get there.

"Caius had no role in that."
heralding: (know your enemy!)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-29 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
"She wanted to make the future better," Lightning agrees, confirming what Hope had to say in a few short words. Serah wanted that, and she had told her as much. But that hadn't made it any easier for her. She knew that it was her fault that Serah had ended up having to make that choice. Yes, Serah knew what she was doing. She persevered regardless, and she knows Serah accepts her just the same.

But it's still a heavy weight in her mind. It will always be one.

"There is more," she says, hoping to press on. After all, Serah is alive now. They all are, and their souls are waiting to enter a new world where they can continue their lives. Their memories and their experiences would matter.

Everything ended up the right away, but getting there, that's what Hope needs to know and understand.
heralding: (i am not the elite.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-04-30 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's the part I don't know quite as well. I went to sleep in a crystal with Serah's soul locked in there with me, and five hundred years later ... I awoke just in time to see the world ending." She watches his features, knowing that he might have some kind of reaction to that. But what can she say? She needed to protect her sister.

Speaking of it now, it's so different. Some part of her will always hear the souls of the dead. Some part of her will always bear the guilt from letting her sister die. Lightning doesn't think that any amount of living will remove that, even if everything did work out. It's only that she's explaining it now complete. That feeling doesn't leave her.

"Bhunivelze woke me from that crystal with a goal in mind. I was to lead the souls of this world called Nova Chrysalis to a new world. I couldn't save everyone, but I had to save the stronger souls." At this point, she pointedly looks forward.

"Over a hundred years prior to this, you disappeared. You ... became a vessel for Bhunivelze. His eyes and ears. You were turned younger, and you lost a piece of yourself. All your emotions were gone, and you had none of your emotional attachments." No, wait, she shakes her head. "Mostly none. Every now and then, I would see the real you, but those were ... fleeting."
heralding: (god has good reception.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-05-02 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"To make sure I wouldn't stray." But stray she did, in large part thanks to herself. Lightning wants to tell him about Lumina, but this isn't the time. Perhaps there would be room for it, but she's still grappling with all of that. Having to take hold of her emotions again is enough. There is some she can tell Hope, but the parts with Lumina are better left hidden.

After all, Lumina is herself. She's the one who allowed herself to stray. She's the one who ensured it. At least, she did it with the right dosage of chaos.

"But stray I did," she presses on. "Fang told me, when we worked together, that the two of us are better off fighting gods than siding with them. She was right. In the end, what Bhunivelze wanted to do was erase the world that we had created, and erase all those memories. I was meant to become the new Etro, and I was meant to ensure that souls would rest peacefully. And all the memories, all the lives, they'd be created anew. None of that would matter, and in some way, the same cycle as before would begin again." Given what happened to Hope, Lightning doesn't doubt that he can see why this would be a bad thing, but she does feel it's necessary to continue explaining. "Bhunivelze didn't understand emotions. Just like before, we were nothing more than pawns." The we is everyone, but especially her and Hope.

"I ... defeated him. With everyone's help, I managed to do it." There's a smile there, in part because the memory is a good one. And in part because she needs Hope to know everything worked out. "I almost lost myself at the end, but you—the real you—came and guided me back." And so, she did not have to be alone.

The fact that it's Hope that she's here with now isn't lost on her. She misses everyone, but she knows Hope will always come to find her if she's lost again. He tried for so long, and he'll continue trying.
heralding: (damon ... smells like peanut butter.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-05-07 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
"We left. All of us. Our family ... and Noel and Yeul, too. Caius stayed behind to take on the role that Etro once held, ensuring that the chaos would be kept at bay. The rest of us left, prepared to enter the new world." There's no need to clarify what she means by any of that. While many had died along the way, like Noel's mother, all the l'Cie had had each other. They were a new family.

"I don't know what the new world is like," she admits, but she looks out meaningfully. "But it wouldn't be so bad if it was this world. Then again ..." She thinks of Atropos, and of the other gods that she's been told about. "There might be gods at play here. I promised Bhunivelze that if he rose again, that humanity would just take care of him again. Our memories are too important otherwise." At that point, she squeezes his hand, and her smile here is real, genuine, like the one she had the day Cocoon almost felt before Fang and Vanille held it up.

"I'm prepared to do anything to protect this world and these people. And if this isn't the world for everyone, then I'll lead them to a new one." She's done it before. She'll do it again. That's her resolve.
Edited 2014-05-07 19:56 (UTC)
heralding: (instead of the coast guard.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-05-15 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Of course, Hope. I wouldn't expect anything less. Even if none of our family turns up here, then we'll have to do things ourselves." There's no hesitation in delivering a response like that. While she has her resolve, it was Hope who came and made sure she wasn't alone. It would be unwise to move on ahead alone. Lightning doesn't like being alone, being more at ease with the others around.

People in general could be difficult for her to connect with sometimes, but her family happened to be an entirely different story. And even with people, she still strove to do right by them whenever the opportunity was afforded to her. There was no reason to do anything less.

"I've spoken to Tony Stark about finding a way to fight back against the gods here if it's necessary."
heralding: (i miss odin all of the time.)

[personal profile] heralding 2014-05-19 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
"There's no point in keeping it a secret. That way, he won't feel like he has to play middle man once we get started." Lightning's impression of Tony is that he's not the type of man who would like to play middle man, anyway, but it's important to remove that. "Plus, it'd be good to have us all discuss similar interests together."

Lightning doesn't know what kind of team they would end up making in the end, but it seems like it's worth a shot. They're here, and these people need them. It's as simple as that. Tony has the information that can help, especially when it comes to the topic of "similar interests."