Hope Estheim (
caladrius) wrote in
maskormenacelogs2014-04-10 02:25 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
WHO: Hope and Lightning
WHERE: The training facility Lightning works at, and may move on from there.
WHEN: April 10, evening
WHAT: During their first day, a promise was made. Hope thinks it's time that Lightning made good on it.
WARNINGS: Angst and LR spoilers. More to be added if they come up.
It's been a little over a month since arriving and reuniting with Lightning, and almost every day the questions have been building up in Hope's mind. She's from a future timeline after all, and he's fairly sure that it's terrible there, but he doesn't know how terrible. He knows he's been used by Bhunivelze himself for something other than to guide Lightning, and he wants to know what it is.
Because it definitely had made Lightning suspicious of him at the beginning, and that gives him an overly complicated mix of emotions that are quite like guilt, anger and sadness. A lot of guilt and the need to be sorry for what he had (he will) put her through in that timeline, and what he'll be asking her to do today. He has to know though-- he knows he may not be able to do a thing about it here, but Light shouldn't be the only one to know the story. If she's burdened, he'll try and take on his own share of it.
As always, when he arrives at Light's workplace, Hope knocks on the door to announce himself before pushing it open. If there are people inside, then he can put his back against the wall and watch as he waits. If she's done with work, then he can attempt to set this much-needed talk in motion.
"Good evening. Light?"
WHERE: The training facility Lightning works at, and may move on from there.
WHEN: April 10, evening
WHAT: During their first day, a promise was made. Hope thinks it's time that Lightning made good on it.
WARNINGS: Angst and LR spoilers. More to be added if they come up.
It's been a little over a month since arriving and reuniting with Lightning, and almost every day the questions have been building up in Hope's mind. She's from a future timeline after all, and he's fairly sure that it's terrible there, but he doesn't know how terrible. He knows he's been used by Bhunivelze himself for something other than to guide Lightning, and he wants to know what it is.
Because it definitely had made Lightning suspicious of him at the beginning, and that gives him an overly complicated mix of emotions that are quite like guilt, anger and sadness. A lot of guilt and the need to be sorry for what he had (he will) put her through in that timeline, and what he'll be asking her to do today. He has to know though-- he knows he may not be able to do a thing about it here, but Light shouldn't be the only one to know the story. If she's burdened, he'll try and take on his own share of it.
As always, when he arrives at Light's workplace, Hope knocks on the door to announce himself before pushing it open. If there are people inside, then he can put his back against the wall and watch as he waits. If she's done with work, then he can attempt to set this much-needed talk in motion.
"Good evening. Light?"

no subject
Up to a point.
When she finishes, she crosses the open space to join Hope, brushing her hands off. "Good evening, Hope," she finally greets formally. "You didn't come to watch." Or participate, for that matter. She figures he would have arrived earlier if it was for either of those reasons, but the fact deserves a remark.
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Now he wonders how to begin the conversation and properly ask her. He clasps his hands before him and twiddles his thumbs together, just so his hands have something to do as he mulls over possible comments. Ask her if she remembers what she told him a while back? No, stupid. There were a lot of things they'd said on that day.
But then again, this isn't a meeting with the scientists, or the Academy security division, or even other people in this world. This is Light. She'd prefer straightforwardness instead of any attempt to ease into the situation.
"I think it's time we talk about the timeline you come from."
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But knowing about the chaos, about those circumstances, isn't the same as knowing what led to it and all the details surrounding it.
"Yes, it is," she says. "Would you prefer to remain here, or go elsewhere?" Lightning doesn't care about surveillance. What she saw in that file told her that this government knew exactly what she'd gone through. Still, there might be somewhere that Hope prefers more.
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So to answer, Hope shrugs. "Definitely not the house," because he's not willing to allow complete strangers to know this, "but I'm open to suggestions."
The setting doesn't matter to him, really. What matters is the knowledge he'll get with this conversation, no matter what it's like or how it will impact him. And he's sure it will affect him in some way, because it's the future. His future, probably.
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"Let's just walk around." It's nice there, anyway, and compared to some places they traversed back home, it was sometimes even better than nice. Lightning didn't mind it, humidity and all.
"We'll rest if we need to." If he needs to is the implication. Lightning isn't one who has ever been much for rest, which she knows he'll recall.
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He strides towards the door to open it for her-- he knows very well she's capable of doing it herself, but it's habit to do it for people.
"Shall we go?"
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Then again, she watched everyone.
She gives him a slight nod as she passes then, stepping outside to look into the evening. Lightning's learned a little about how time works here. Compared to two months ago when she first arrived, it's much lighter out. It'll be good to walk in, even if the veil of night doesn't bother her.
"Do you have any questions before I begin?"
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He comes to an answer as he steps out into the open air and closes the door behind him. "No. I trust you wont leave anything out, or clarify things for me if I don't understand. You should tell your side of the story first, before I ask any questions."
That should be enough for him, right? His natural curiosity demands he ask her everything that happened to her, but he can wait. He can listen.
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"But I'll start at the beginning, with the memory that only Serah had." Lightning knows herself that to Hope, that is the more immediate of circumstances. Though Lightning doesn't think of it that way. In some ways, it was so long ago. In others, it felt like it was just yesterday. She had allowed the moments of that day to swirl in her mind as she tried to find a way to communicate with Hope, Show, and Serah outside of Valhalla. If only they could know differently. Hope will know differently now, at least.
"When we awoke from our crystal sleep, it was a miracle granted by Etro. All the lives who passed that day opened up the gate to Valhalla, and from there, we were able to experience that miracle ourselves." She slows in her steps as she explains, but doesn't stop moving. She's just pacing herself, even if she looks forward and intends to keep moving in that direction, too. "But that action caused a disturbance, and chaos swept forward ... sweeping me away, and permanently altering the timeline. It worked in combination with Etro. I woke up in Valhalla, and I found myself granted the position of being Etro's protector. I would protect Valhalla, and it was not a duty I took lightly. From there, I saw the future, I saw the potential of what would come, and hoped that Serah, you, Snow, and Noel would help set things right."
It's not the complete summary, but she feels it's a good place to begin.
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For a moment, he wonders who Etro is, what Valhalla is, but remembers-- all legends are true. Etro, the goddess of the Farseers and the goddess who watches over the cycle of life and death if their stories are true, and Valhalla, her home. He's pieced what he knows of her from his expeditions, and what few books on legends he can find that are not about the War of Transgression or the rift between Gran Pulse and Cocoon.
"Chaos" is an unknown though. Outside of its meaning, Hope has no idea what it actually is, but he's pretty sure that it's more than just what's been defined in the dictionaries. She says it's the reason for the timeline becoming distorted, which he takes to mean that it's the cause of the paradoxes. A force of nature? Another god? A power of Etro's?
"What's this chaos?" he asks, before he can stop himself.
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Of course, for people like Lightning and Hope, those stories had transformed into very real nightmares.
"The chaos ... in its usual form is within all of us. Chaos makes up the souls that we carry within us, and those souls are a gift from Etro." By that definition, Lightning knows chaos itself is not bad. But then, there's a different kind. She pauses, and then presses on. "Then there is the unseen chaos. A different force of its own. It was hidden within Etro's Temple, and when she passed, it spread throughout the world, swallowing it whole. That ... happened when Noel was forced to kill Caius Ballad." Even now, there's a surge of agitation in saying Caius' name. She respects the man much more now, but that doesn't mean she likes him.
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He does however have reason to get nervous and agitated-- Caius Ballad is a name he doesn't recognize either, but he can put two and two together. The man is trouble, and now Hope knows for more reasons than just the ones he knows.
"This 'Caius' is-- was the man you were fighting, wasn't he? I saw you through the Oracle Drive, leading an army of Eidolons against an army of his monsters."
Not to mention he's the man Serah and Noel must be looking for, and it seems they did (will?) manage to find him and take him out-- and to a mostly negative end, it seems. However, Hope sees a hole in the narrative, and he's quick to point it out, because he cant let it go until it's been explained.
"What's his connection with Etro, though? Why would his death trigger her own and affect the world?"
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"That gift was to live forever to be there for a girl named Yeul. Some Yeuls were glad for that gift. Others were unhappy and wanted him to be freed. And Caius himself, more than anything, sought a way to free her from that curse." She huffs at this point. Lightning does not blame him. She even admires him, but she also saw that he turned himself into: a being that, in the world enveloped in chaos, could never die. Yeul, the source of the unseen chaos, would keep bringing him back.
That's actually something she needs to explain.
"Yeul is the source of the unseen chaos. Her existence is what gives birth to it, and Caius sought a way to give her something better." She shakes her head. "That 'something better' is the world I saw last. Needless to say, he didn't do a very good job of it."
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Evidently they were all wrong about that. And apparently it goes much, much deeper than what the Academy knows. Knew.
Then again, he should know better to assume that his knowledge is correct by now.
'Some Yeuls,' Lightning says, and it implies that there are a large number of them. It does give him some insight, and something new to add to his knowledge. Does it help him piece this puzzle together? Somewhat. "From what you say... A Yeul is born, and she has the exact same name and abilities as her predecessor. Then she would die and another Yeul would be born. And Caius became her immortal companion who wanted the girls' continuous rebirth and death to stop, so he... Changed the world?"
It makes sense, but how?
"How would the gift of immortality tie Etro's life to his? And how did he accomplish his goals?"
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Only at the end of that does her voice quaver unsteadily. Having emotions again still surprises her. She doesn't relate these things without hesitance as she might have back on Nova Chrysalis when Bhunivelze intended to turn her into another emotionless vessel of god. But there are few things that evoke this level of emotion from here, and referring to her sister is one of them. Referring to where she led to her sister is also one of them.
"The world was swallowed up ..." she continues. "You, Noel, and Snow worked together to create a world that could live on. And in that time, I went to sleep, taking Serah's soul with me to ... protect it."
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Hope touches Lightning's shoulder. He's getting the bigger picture now-- enough, at least, but she's left out Serah's fate. Only Noel, Snow and himself are left in the end and she has Serah's soul... Which is not a good implication at all. He needs confirmation.
He's beginning to understand the story now, better than before even if at times it can be too strange even to his ears. And to think he himself has so much involving powers and beings beyond human comprehension since his birth, and been a part of another overly complicated plan to change or destroy the world as people knew it.
It's a lot to absorb and yet... He cant stop now.
"Did Caius kill Serah to force Noel into killing him?" It's terrible, that's what it is, but if Caius was willing to do everything just for his goals he might have been able to do that as well.
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Lightning only straightens up and gives the slightest shakes of her head. No, it seems to say, that's not what happened.
"Yeul's life was limited by the visions she saw. Every time she had a vision, her life was cut short." Lightning suppresses her emotions to step on, further locking them away so she can offer Hope this explanation. "Serah ... she also had the eyes of Etro. In order to set the future right, she saw many paths, and was able to act on them."
I helped her get there.
"Caius had no role in that."
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In the end, it's no one's fault.
Maybe... maybe it's easier that way, because he would be stuck forever hating the memory of a man he'd never actually met, a man who's dead, and Hope doesn't like doing that. He's not about to become sympathetic to that man, because he's caused so much destruction and suffering, but he's not going to hate the memory of him either.
Knowing doesn't soften the blow though, that Serah's actually dead. It's in the future, but it's one thing to know that you'll die one day, because people aren't meant to live forever, but another to hear that one of your friends is dead. Gone. Not like Lightning, whose disappearance had everyone fooled. But actually dead.
Hope swallows and forces himself to remain calm, but it's difficult. It's such a big blow that he's struggling to maintain his calm demeanor. He just wishes he'd been told about this sooner-- Serah and Noel would have known, because he knows that when they'd last seen each other, they'd done so much already. Would Hope have been able to fix her? Probably not, the powers of the gods are beyond him, but he would have given her his support.
"She..." He swallows again to try and make his voice a little less hoarse. "She used it to her advantage, didn't she? Knowing Serah... she wouldn't have stopped, even if she'd known that every vision would bring her one step closer to death."
He doesn't even have to ask Lightning how having visions could shorten Serah's lifespan so dramatically, when that's all she'd been doing. She'd go somewhere and fix a paradox, and possibly see another vision, and do the same thing, until the timeline is saved. With so many paradoxes to solve... Just going on her journey would have killed her, he thinks.
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But it's still a heavy weight in her mind. It will always be one.
"There is more," she says, hoping to press on. After all, Serah is alive now. They all are, and their souls are waiting to enter a new world where they can continue their lives. Their memories and their experiences would matter.
Everything ended up the right away, but getting there, that's what Hope needs to know and understand.
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Of course he hasn't forgotten, even when the conversation had been derailed by all his questions. He still knows why he's gone to her in the first place, and he's not about to ask her to stop any time soon.
It's best to get everything done now, so they don't have to keep bringing it up. Ripping the bandage, some people say.
"So the world changed, and Noel, Snow and I were left to pick up the pieces."
And then what? He knows the story will focus on him now, and God as well.
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Speaking of it now, it's so different. Some part of her will always hear the souls of the dead. Some part of her will always bear the guilt from letting her sister die. Lightning doesn't think that any amount of living will remove that, even if everything did work out. It's only that she's explaining it now complete. That feeling doesn't leave her.
"Bhunivelze woke me from that crystal with a goal in mind. I was to lead the souls of this world called Nova Chrysalis to a new world. I couldn't save everyone, but I had to save the stronger souls." At this point, she pointedly looks forward.
"Over a hundred years prior to this, you disappeared. You ... became a vessel for Bhunivelze. His eyes and ears. You were turned younger, and you lost a piece of yourself. All your emotions were gone, and you had none of your emotional attachments." No, wait, she shakes her head. "Mostly none. Every now and then, I would see the real you, but those were ... fleeting."
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But he doesn't understand a whole lot of it, and not because of any problem on her end-- it's Bhunivelze's actions that he doesn't understand. Ever since they arrived and spoken about this, he's always had a bad feeling about Bhunivelze, but thanks to this? The bad feeling has become even worse.
He feels sick that he'd been (will be) changed so much that he seems so different to a person who actually knows him. That Lightning couldn't (will not) get someone as a whole, untouched person to help her on that mission from God himself, but instead a watered-down version of Hope himself.
"And Bhunivelze? He let you out, and put me in charge of watching you as you worked?"
Hope's never been good with emotions. He tamps them down, seals them away and goes to work, or else he wouldn't be so productive. But he still feels them and he acknowledges that much. The idea of meeting Lightning, Vanille and Fang have kept him going after all, and the strength he'd been drawing from their memories. But he doesn't know what he'd be like without that one important detail.
But Lightning does, and he feels sick, for her sake. He wishes she didn't have to see that, to go through that.
Because that mission has so much more weight than their Focus, and she shouldn't have had support like that.
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After all, Lumina is herself. She's the one who allowed herself to stray. She's the one who ensured it. At least, she did it with the right dosage of chaos.
"But stray I did," she presses on. "Fang told me, when we worked together, that the two of us are better off fighting gods than siding with them. She was right. In the end, what Bhunivelze wanted to do was erase the world that we had created, and erase all those memories. I was meant to become the new Etro, and I was meant to ensure that souls would rest peacefully. And all the memories, all the lives, they'd be created anew. None of that would matter, and in some way, the same cycle as before would begin again." Given what happened to Hope, Lightning doesn't doubt that he can see why this would be a bad thing, but she does feel it's necessary to continue explaining. "Bhunivelze didn't understand emotions. Just like before, we were nothing more than pawns." The we is everyone, but especially her and Hope.
"I ... defeated him. With everyone's help, I managed to do it." There's a smile there, in part because the memory is a good one. And in part because she needs Hope to know everything worked out. "I almost lost myself at the end, but you—the real you—came and guided me back." And so, she did not have to be alone.
The fact that it's Hope that she's here with now isn't lost on her. She misses everyone, but she knows Hope will always come to find her if she's lost again. He tried for so long, and he'll continue trying.
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The entire world, damn. What a burden to carry. Hope is no stranger to working towards a brighter future for everyone, but Lightning went above and beyond anything he's ever done.
He feels guilty that he couldn't (cant?) be there for her, reduced to nothing more than a watchdog and spy for a god who only thought about his own wants and desires, because he understands now that all Bhunivelze wanted was for humans to be tools for him, just like the fal'Cie. He knows he promised her not to blame himself, but he probably should, because she had to do it alone.
"What happened next? Did we move to the new world, or did we stay in our old one?"
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"I don't know what the new world is like," she admits, but she looks out meaningfully. "But it wouldn't be so bad if it was this world. Then again ..." She thinks of Atropos, and of the other gods that she's been told about. "There might be gods at play here. I promised Bhunivelze that if he rose again, that humanity would just take care of him again. Our memories are too important otherwise." At that point, she squeezes his hand, and her smile here is real, genuine, like the one she had the day Cocoon almost felt before Fang and Vanille held it up.
"I'm prepared to do anything to protect this world and these people. And if this isn't the world for everyone, then I'll lead them to a new one." She's done it before. She'll do it again. That's her resolve.
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Well, now they're back to where they'd begun all those months ago, but now Hope knows. They're on the same footing, and he now knows what to do. ... In a manner of speaking. He's no l'Cie, and he literally has half of his l'Cie abilities, and he certainly is no chosen hero like Lightning is, but he could do more than just sit and wait for her.
"You wont be alone now. We started this together-- so there's no reason for you to do it on your own."
Not like what the other Hope's been doing, he doesn't say. He now knows it's Bhunivelze's fault why he'd been given such a role, but still. Hope cant just sit around doing nothing.
(He wonders what that young-looking Hope felt about his situation, if he railed and tried to fight. Maybe he did. Hope hopes he did.)
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People in general could be difficult for her to connect with sometimes, but her family happened to be an entirely different story. And even with people, she still strove to do right by them whenever the opportunity was afforded to her. There was no reason to do anything less.
"I've spoken to Tony Stark about finding a way to fight back against the gods here if it's necessary."
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"Tony, huh? I've spoken to him about the very same thing." Among other topics that interest both of them. Though Hope thinks the actual science talk should stay between them, or else Lightning might end up not being able to do anything.
"Think we should tell him that we know each other?"
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Lightning doesn't know what kind of team they would end up making in the end, but it seems like it's worth a shot. They're here, and these people need them. It's as simple as that. Tony has the information that can help, especially when it comes to the topic of "similar interests."