You know I don't come from no black lagoon

[maskormods]

WHO: YOU.
WHERE: De Chima, Virginia.
WHEN: Thursday May 14th, all day.
WHAT: The plant's the thing! Registration in motion... among other things. Please refer to the OOC POST for details.
WARNINGS: None anticipated; please let us know if this should be edited.

" The new frontier of which I speak is not a set of promises -- it is a set of challenges. It sums up not what I intend to offer the American people, but what I intend to ask of them. It appeals to their pride, not to their pocketbook -- it holds out the promise of more sacrifice instead of more security. But I tell you the new frontier is here, whether we seek it or not. "
( from jfk's speech "the new frontier," 7/15/1960. )

Spring has sprung, imPorts, and the government's got just the way to celebrate it! The familiar trappings of poodle skirts and stylish hats have vanished as far as the eye can see, only to be replaced with something far more renaissance... though much of what is being worn and sold is not, as many of you older imPorts can attest, strictly accurate! The park has been transformed into a Renaissance Fair, and it's a busy, cheerful event as the natives don their gowns and jerkins to partake in the festivities.

Vendors line the pathways, tempting potential buyers to come try on their clothing, taste their food and drink or watch their smithy skills on display. Local businesses are never one to shy away from some free advertising, and imPorts may find themselves called upon, offered a hefty paycheck in return for a day's worth of advertising and modeling. In the center pavilion of the event, various dancers and musicians move swiftly on and offstage as the mandolin finally gets its time in the spotlight. If you feel like joining in on some dancing yourself, never fear! You don't have to be one of the pros on stage to practice your moves. There's nothing so simple as a dance floor prepared for you, though, oh no; here at the Renaissance fair, everything has to go with a theme! So grab onto one of the ribbons attached to the maypole and strut your stuff.

There is, however, an oddly scientific air to the whole event; emblazoned on the stage, napkins, and signs is the sponsorship company, Oddrey & Oddrey INC., advertising their GMOs, created not for the public's health, but for the public's entertainment. Why don't you swing by their booth to give their wares a try?

The food on display has taken a more carnivorous turn, and the delicate finger foods of past swearing-in events have been replaced with rich, hearty fare -- some of which you'll be expected to eat with your hands! Wine and ale are richly flowing, and for those who really wish to get into the spirit of the event, astoundingly large turkey legs, sausages, stews, hunks of cheese and whole baked potatoes are on display. For the sweet tooth, a large variety of deep fried sugary concoctions are advertised on every corner, with an abundance of fresh fruit and whipped cream piled on top.

If you prefer a lighter - or more vegetarian - touch, not to worry! It may be less advertised, but no amount of people preaching authenticity will persuade businesses to miss out on catering to a different market. Vegetarian sandwiches, mushroom pies, and fresh corn among other goods are here for your consumption. And true, fruit sorbet may not be entirely accurate, but once the sun's high in the sky and the fair's packed, there aren't many people who will be complaining about authenticity when they need to beat the heat!

The festive air (and gratuitous public drinking) may drive one to forget that this is a government sponsored event, but not to worry! For the peace of mind of the public, security has been positioned at various points around the park, ensuring that any debauchery that occurs will be thoroughly entertaining. Please enjoy yourselves!

GENETICALLY MODIFIED FLORA
All of the following are genetically modified flora specimens from the De Chima bioengineering corporation Oddrey & Oddrey INC. All imPorts may sample whatever specimen, free of charge, but you may NOT take anything off the faire grounds. You can incorporate any genetically modified material into your fanciful garb for the duration of the Swearing In, but you may NOT sneak off with any. There will be a tally of which imPort takes what, and a collections table for after the party.


INGEST ME

HIMEROS gives the user clear complexion, golden irises, a gentle flowing wave to their hair, and makes them grow six inches taller. The effects last for three hours. Side effects may include: passive aggression, perpetually jutting hips, the inability to dance, a sultry voice, and short term memory loss.

HARMONIA gives the user a calmed, easy going, totally chill feeling. It's like you've forgotten what stress could even FEEL like, much less remember what could have possibly ever bothered you. Just sit back and relax. Side effects may include: drowsiness, extreme apathy, a sudden interest in table tennis, and drooling onto your loved one/crush's shoulder.

PALAISTRA gives the user an hour-long adrenaline rush! Exciting!! You have the energy and willpower to accomplish ANYTHING! You could paint the SISTINE CHAPEL! Not just the ceiling, but the WHOLE BUILDING! You could train a pair of gazelles to BE YOUR SHOES! Your shoes! You'll never have to fear mundane footwear again! Side effects may include: the compulsory need to speak in limericks, a tendency to laugh uncontrollably at anyone wearing glasses, a three hour nap following the product's intended effect, a completely checked off bucket list, and buyer's regret.

SMELL ME

ANGELIA compels the user to sprout mundane or even BORING secrets about themselves or people they know to whoever is around to listen. Works after just one sniff! Smells sweaty, like teen spirit. Effects last twenty-four hours.

ENYALIOS is also known as BUTTHOLE WEED, and it smells like the most glorious bouquet of heavenly, lovely roses. Too bad it compels the user to act like a BUTTHOLE to everyone they meet -- but especially the people they care about! Effects last up to ninety minutes... The average time of an office meeting.

ORPHEUS grants the user a melodic voice. This is the type of voice that can charm woodland animals to dance around your feet, this is the voice that can summon dashing princes. Effects last for two hours. Side effects may include: marriage, ballroom dancing, tropey plot devices, swollen feet, and a strong need to look over your shoulder when ascending stairways back to the land of the living.

TOUCH ME

ASKLEPIOS heals minor scarring, burns, acne, uncomfortable aches, and dandruff. Must be applied to skin/affected area for at least ten minutes before healing effect can take place.

IAMOS allows the user to have extreme focus, which can sometimes slip into mental image-sharing. If two people are touching Iamos, or have some Iamos on their body, they can exchange visual images through a mindlink. These can be literally what they are seeing, or they can be imagined images. The images communicated will ONLY be consciously given, however. No subconscious slip ups! Effects last as long as the user is touching at least something of the Iamos.

METHE will make the user blissful and giggly, and suddenly armed with a satisfying degree of self-confidence. This isn't arrogance, mind, but the perfect amount of self-assertion and optimism that makes anything seem possible! Effects last as long as the user is touching Methe. Side effects may include: unusual risk taking.

( Please state your character's official status -- REGISTERED or UNSETTLED -- in the subject header of your thread. Please also read and state your character's official status at THIS post, considering not every character will post a starter thread! )