maskormenacelogs

"It's not that much worse than Hagakure bowl every night." It's a subtle jab in Akihiko's direction, as Minato peels himself off the wall and walks up stand in front of him at a conversational distance. It's surreal to be granted this reunion. He met with Shinjiro the other day, and that had been weird. This isn't that much better.

"Hello, senpai."

This is true, he has a tendency to eat the same crap over and over again. Minato's probably seen the inside of Akihiko and Shinjiro's fridge already, most of the similar foods are- his. Protein shake a day, protein bars, meat meat meat. While he likes a good surprise in some departments, there are things in his routine he just never changes, or thinks to.

"I'll get us a seat then." Nods to him, and does so. Gesturing to a server who lets them know they can choose. Booth or table? Akihiko beelines to a booth, peeling his gloves off as he sits down.

Minato follows without a word, though they both know (he at least hopes Akihiko knows) that the silence on his part is by no means an indicator of displeasure. It was hard to tell anyway, since he was also quiet when in a bad mood, but this time it certainly isn't. He sits down across from Akihiko, his posture easier than he actually feels.

"Thanks for coming. I heard you're coaching."

The silence isn't taken in any such fashion. Anxiety nor confusion is a result of it and Akihiko's rather positive mood stays in tact. The silence is common for either of them anyway, and in Akihiko's opinion isn't a bad trait; masculine and mature if anything. So it's not noted upon and he accompanies it with hiw own silence for the short rest of the distance it is to the booth.

"Coach, yeah, you could call it that. I'm no where near where I should be to keep a title like that though- maybe one day." Said with a smile, a proud one. Coaching is actually rather fulfilling, helping others to hone their own strengths- but it just feels like a bad idea to do while he still needs to work on a few things for himself.

Quick to stay with water when the waitress first visits their table, he starts to fondle at a menu and begins to speak again.

"Anything you want to get started with now that you've gotten a bit more comfortable with this place? Hard to say how long anyone will be here so it's good to fill up for time."

"About that..."

Minato orders himself something sweet to drink, himself. He also keeps the water, too, but he could use the sugar. He needs the energy boost.

"I was thinking about graduating high school and starting university. If I have time."

"Oh yeah? Great! What are you thinking of making your focus?"

"No idea. Whatever's interesting and useful."

He leans forward, holding his head up with an arm.

"I never had time to think about that, during the school year."

"It might be a better to have some idea of what you'd like to do. There's a lot of options available and the money and time you spend there shouldn't be wasted." A pause, setting his menu down for a moment and contemplating those words.

"Yeah- with SEEs, we weren't really given an option. But I guess you have time here to think about other things before you go back."

"Going back..." He sighs. "I guess so."

He'll tell him that part later, he thinks. It's better not to do it before a meal when they'll both lose their appetite, and then it'll be a longer time of being awkward and upset.

"What do you do, again?"

Losing his appetite is very difficult- but news like that? Yeah. It'd work.

Akihiko will order ravioli when they're attended to again, returning his focus to Minato.

"What do I do concerning what?"

Minato will order a few dishes of his own, surprising the waiter but just smiling at him to not worry about it.

"Your major. Or are you just working?"

"Oh, yeah I have a major, it's business, but it's going secondary to my boxing right now. I'd prefer to get professional there it's just been difficult as an imPort."

"That's just like you, I guess." He shakes his head, sipping his water.

"Maybe I'll come watch some of your matches."

A strange look, not knowing what he means by that exactly. Yeah? Why wouldn't it be like him? Who else could it be like?

Moving to pick at the garlic bread given, he rips a piece off after setting his gloves aside.

"I'd like if you did." A smile, glancing up. "Not that I need the support, but it's nice to have. It'd be good to see you there." Pops a piece in his mouth.

"What sort of leader doesn't support his teammates? Let me know, I'll be there."

There's a pause, then, as their food arrives a few minutes later and Minato is effectively distracted, stuffing his mouth with whatever the first dish he puts his hands on is.

"Heh, I guess you're right. Then I should say I expect to see you there." A smile, allowing himself to be distracted by the food afterwards as well. Perhaps Minato's allowing himself to be that distracted in preparation for whatever he needs to say, but Akihiko's all about the food and good company right now. Nothing like eating with a good friend.

He will take a break though at some point to start up another conversation though.

"How's you're room mate situation been? I wasn't sure with how often I've already seen you come by our place."

Edited 2014-10-14 01:56 (UTC)

"Roommate situation?" He responds first around a mouthful of pasta, raising a finger in a 'wait' motion before he chews. When he's clear to speak without getting tomato sauce everywhere, he actually answers. "I don't have any, actually. I got a place by myself."

Apparently, that's an oddity. He shrugs, though. "It makes it quiet. I guess I don't mind, but it's boring."

"You'd rather live with other people? You can look for somewhere else, they'll replace you in another location if you voice it. Otherwise, people should arrive at some point to fill in rooms, unless you were given a single person apartment." A shrug, taking a bite and swallowing soon after.

"That why we see you around a lot?"

"Yeah, it's just me. Just my own."

He doesn't mind. It's quiet, but it gave him space. If he wanted to see people, like Akihiko said, he can go there anytime. It's not like it was hard.

"You're always welcome."

"I'll keep that in mind. Shinji been visiting you at all?" He'd never notice since his own schedule is pretty tight. Shinjiro's usually home before he is.

"If so, guess I'll have to make up for lost time and start going out like this with you more." A smile, taking a drink from his glass before he goes back to eating. Akihiko's- a bit oblivious to any air of tension that might be given off by Minato. He's oblivious anyway- but even then, he should notice something's off.

He just doesn't because it's all a bit overshadowed by just being happy to see him again. The thought that something's wrong doesn't come to his mind like it would Shinjiro's. He's- an optimistic person.

"Sometimes. He made me food." What else will Shinjiro Aragaki do? For Minato, of all people.

He just puts a smile on his face and goes through the conversation, not willing to make their dinner taste bad by reacting honestly to Akihiko's comments. He asks small, insignificant questions. About Aki's job. About school. About living with Shinjiro.

"He tends to do that. It's been nice- Shinji's taken up doing a lot of stuff like that and his cooking keeps getting better." A smile thinking about it, a rather fond one at that. He's not trying to be subtle or anything about Shinjiro and his relationship, and he doesn't know if Minato knows about it or not. Doesn't really matter to him.

Answers appropriately, honestly. His life seems to be rather full. Spends a great deal of time training his boxing skills ontop of separate training of his abilities. Though he complains a bit about having a hard time flexing his persona. Not a lot of shadows to stock up on experience with here. Some complaining about his inability to get into professional sports due to being an imPort and how it makes the game unfair. Though he wont argue for long till he moves on to answering other questions.

He seems rather- talkative. As open as he was before with Minato before he left here, after all, they got close. Akihiko doesn't consider a lot of people his friends, but those he does consider lie mostly in his allies in SEEs.

Oh, Minato knows. He's picked up on it from the network post a few days back. He never would've seen it coming, but if it makes the two of them happy, he's not going to say anything to interfere even if he may pick up on teasing them after a while. Really, who would've thought? He could already hear Junpei making a big deal of it.

He's honestly content to listen to Akihiko talk. Neither of them were the most talkative members of SEES, but if it's just between the two of them, they know which one's the silent one. They also know which one has newer things to report than the other. He makes a comment about how professional doesn't always mean strongest in an attempt to sooth Akihiko's disgruntlement, but he lets the conversation move on at its natural pace and takes in all of the answers he's given. It feels... normal. And it's nice.

He tries not to think about how he may be shattering all of that for his friend later, keeping up a cheerful demeanor. But dinner will be over much too soon and he'll have no choice, eventually, quieting down ever more than the usual as they pay for their dinner and get up to leave the restaurant. His eyes are lowered and his mouth is closed purposely; it's a look even Akihiko may realize as one Minato wore mostly when something was serious (like right before a battle with a Guardian) or unpleasant.

Junpei probably would. If Akihiko would be embarrassed of it around anyone, it might be Junpei. But of course Akihiko would try to stone face at Junpei till he couldn't sap anymore humour from it. -Maybe. Akihiko isn't really the sort to get embarrassed of it anyway, Shinjiro and he had always been close, to him this really isn't that different from how they were before.

Professional or not, he'd like the glory of being in the ring again, striving to the top, and not feel like being an imPort is the only reason people believe he has a chance. A fight's a fight, be nice to make a living out of it too if he could.

"Hey." Said as he catches up after the bill was paid. Yeah, he notices. Not necessarily that it's unpleasant, but the way Minato looks now is thoughtful. Like the way he looks when something's going down, when they're thinking of a plan of attack. Knows that look.

"What's up?" Eyes slim a little, pulling on his own stoic expression but with a look of concentration in his eyes. What could be happening? Did he say something wrong? Was there something else happening? The thought of something associated back home comes up in his mind for a moment but he doesn't stick to it- not the sort to assume the worst.

Minato doesn't want to trap Akihiko by inviting him all the way back to the apartment and telling him. Then he'd have to make a show of leaving, if he wanted to, and he doesn't want to force him into that position. So he's silent for a few feet as he walks out of the restaurant and down the street, eyes ahead of him until he stops under a streetlight.

"About what you said earlier..."

Hands in his pockets, posture slightly slouched, Minato is really the same as usual. But he turns to Akihiko with a look of apology he doesn't remember showing him ever before.

"About going back. I can't do that."

"Well none of us can yet, but with how thing's are going, it kind of just happens whenever." A shrug, continuing to walk. It was quite annoying, this whole gate business. Seems silly that the leader would be stuck on it though, not being able to return due to the gate. That wasn't really new information?

"You're stuck here just like everyone else for now."

"You're wrong, senpai." He hasn't moved. He continues to stand in the orange spotlight, watching his friend and letting a smile curl the corners of his lips.

"The truth is, I'm in the same position as Aragaki-senpai." Would that be clear enough? He's sure it is. But he adds anyway, "I'm dead. There's no going back."

He'll stop at that. Hearing Minato's voice start to fade away enough to know he's no longer before followed. But he doesn't- quite turn yet, listening to him. He doesn't want to look, and at the same time barely thinks to turn anyway. Stuck in his place his mind slows down and his fists clench at his sides. The leather of his gloves moaning a little under the tightening.

There's not mistaking it. He just said he-

He's dead.

He can't rely on his optimism to twist that one, there's no way to go, and ontop of it he- knows there's jack shit he'll be able to do. He won't remember being told this when he leaves, being fucking- stupid to it all. Unknowing to what's going to happen again.

"It's gotta be a fluke then, could come out either way... maybe I'll- I'll do something different when I go back somehow." The words leaving in a pert sort of way, not wanting to give into his first instinct and punch whatever's nearest to him because this- this is Bullshit. How does it happen again? And even after- he knows he did it there too- at home making amends with what happened, to promise himself to focus on those around him, protect them, be- be useful and guard those he cares about.

And then he loses Minato too? His teeth would crack if his bones weren't so strong right now, jaw tight.

"No- no you have to be kidding me..."

Edited 2014-10-23 19:40 (UTC)

"I wouldn't joke about this with you."

He can hear the tightness of Akihiko's jaw in his voice. Aah, he must be gritting his teeth or something. He's seen that look and heard that voice before. He knows his teammate enough to know.

"It was the only way. Even if you did anything different, it had to be me."

"I know- shit, I know..." Who the hell would about that- and especially to him.

"Had to be you? What kind of bullshit is that- it shouldn't ever have to be anyone." His voice stays tense, unable to unclench it, unable to stop the way his face is starting to heat up. All tense, and his eyes close tight now finally, feeling his eyes push.

"Why the hell does it have to be anyone!?" Not actually a yell- just- a more definite tone, heavy, pointed. Not really- directed at anyone because he can't be mad at Minato, he doesn't know who else he could be mad at but himself. Himself for once again having no control over it. For never- actually being strong enough to fight for anyone, to really help them. Why.... Why can't he do it? It's not- fair. Fuck, feeling all of this at once. He can't even pretend it's something else right now, just has to stand here, dwelling on it, thinking about everyone just-

slowly disappears around him, like as soon as they get close enough, it's worse than being far away. He feels like some jinx, like having no ability to stop what happened is putting blame on him, like he might as well helped what happened and he hates it.

A hitch. His shoulders slumping only to shrug up again suddenly. Not trying to hide, just facing away, as liquid slides down one of his cheeks. Not again- not again it just- keeps happening. Maybe he's acting so strongly so quickly because he felt something was off this whole time. Had to of been... and like always-

he just fucking let himself look blindly away from it.

... He steps forward, then, to stand behind Akihiko. He can see his shoulders shaking and hear the way his breath hitches. Aah, he's crying. He doesn't think he's ever seen that. He doesn't acknowledge it except to turn and lean his back against his.

"We ended the Dark Hour. We won." He wants, at least, to make sure Akihiko knows that. "Let's sit down, senpai. Let me explain."

He used to cry all the time as a kid, for every little thing. But now- he didn't need to cry as much, but when he did he wasn't the type to stop it. Doesn't face him. But doesn't hold back. Why not cry now knowing another of his friend's dies. Helplessness is often followed by such a reaction.

"We won, and at that cost- tch." Hands clenching again, head tilting down.

"Everyone going on ahead of me- you'd think I'd be used to it by now..." Brows furrowing, he opens his eyes and finds he's looking through a blur, water held back that soon clears in favor of sliding down his face. "Explain it all you want..."

He'll turn to nudge him, then, having already found a bench while they were walking. Nobody should come around here at this time. He'll wait; as a leader, he has to keep an eye on his teammate.

"It's not something to get used to, believe me, I thought I was, too." Losing his parents, living he next ten years thinking about how all of those people he met, eventually, would die, himself included, and there was nothing to grieve or mourn about it. He thought he was used to it; how wrong he was.

"After we fought all of the Shadows, we learned that instead of stopping the Apocalypse, we triggered it. There was a thirteenth, waiting to awaken, that was inside of me all along."

It will take him a moment to follow suit, and without taking any extra time to wipe he face. He just needed a moment to unwind, cool it, and he'll go to accompany Minato on the bench.

"Triggered it... after everything?" His brows steeple, confusion and shock in his expression when he finally glances over to his friend, eyes still a bit red. "Then we were- we were botching it from the start..." Wow that's-

this is a lot to hear right now.

"We were tricked. Making us fight those Shadows connected them together." He doesn't say what he's thought ever since he found out. That this happened because he came back to Iwatodai. He triggered the countdown. Iwatodai and the Dark Hour had been in a dormant state until he came back and drew out those Shadows. It was his fault.

But at the same time, if he hadn't shown up, that horrible hour would have continued to exist, drawing out more victims like Ken's mother, Shinjiro, Fuuka and her friends, and Old Man Bunkichi and Koromaru. It had to have meant something.

"The thirteenth, the Arcana of Death, was inside me all along; he woke up after I came into contact with the rest, and he became the harbinger of the fall." A pause. "Nobody knew that until after, though."

It would mean a lot changed, yeah. Had they never done it, many more people would have to suffer, would die even, and Minato by- doing what he did, stopped that? Even if they triggered everything it had to happen that way to end- Like it was

destined too almost. It made it seem like the Leader was always to die if they tried for it, or if they waited, like he couldn't've ever...

He leans forward, putting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"And why- did you have to die for it... I don't get it- if it woke up and left you- we'd just have to defeat it like all the others, right?"

"Shadows exist as long as humans have negative emotions. Which means, they'll never really disappear." Just get tucked away between realms, where time and space don't matter, sucked into the body of that monster called Erebus where nobody can see and it can't touch humans, where it belongs. But Shadows will always exist. "That Arcana was never supposed to be. But he happened and became the Avatar of Nyx."

He doesn't want to say that he was a friend. Akihiko wouldn't know, and it would only hurt him more. That he once befriended Ryoji Mochizuki just to be betrayed by it all over again.

"We did fight him, but it was the night of the Fall. Nyx was already here."

"I know, we've known that for a while, just like with our personas. They're always there and a part of us, people will always feel what they feel... but all of this..." Sits up a little, listening again, his hands covering his mouth. They weren't fools to the shadows and what was going on completely but to think all of it...

"And I'm going to just forget about all of this and keep working to win." Said with a soft tone, looking at the ground.

Eventually he pushes himself up, face still beating, eyes wet. But he won't hide the expression on his face- pained, before he turns and furrows his brows.

"Thanks for letting me know."

"... You will win, in the end."

He isn't the type to make people turn around if they don't want to. He thinks he knows when people need comforting and when they want to stand on their own feet, at least. Akihiko, he can't save by offering a hand. He can't do that, not in his position.

"Sanada-san. Can I say something?"

His brows furrow at that. Win- right.

Even AKihiko knows winning isn't everything. Likes it, lives for it but- At a cost that big...

"Yeah." Quiet for the most part though, facing away.

"Thank you."

That it. That's all. That's all he can say.

A hitch, moving to look at him now, brows furrowed.

"For what?" Almost said angrily. At himself of course, because what the hell did he do to be thanked...

Akihiko, you're already greying. You need to chill out or you'll just bald.

"Would everything be too cliché an answer?" He wonders if Akihiko can hear the little laughter in his voice. "I didn't get to say it, back home."

He'll never chill out, he'll run screaming and kicking into old age and be just as much of a spit fire then as he is now. Just wait, you'll be watching him from heaven chasing kids out of his lawn and screaming bloody murder. The fire, she never goes down.

"Everything- but-" His brows furrow, feeling a push in his eyes again. "I didn't- hell, what did I even manage to do? Let Shinji- ...Let either of you die?" Hearing him laugh almost hurts more. Hearing him okay with it- laughing and thanking him. And here he fought for- for nothing. He was getting stronger and it did nothing.

"Don't thank me. I haven't done anything." Hands clenching. "If I can though- if there's anything I'll be able to do- to- to change it, I can bet I'll do it..." As futile as it is. He doesn't fucking care. he'll- he'll change it. He has to... For everyone, for- for himself.

"You were my friend, senpai." Aah, he never really explained to them, did he? He never told them about himself. They knew about his parents and about what happened on the Moonlight Bridge (at least, they did eventually) but not about this.

"I didn't have any when we first met. Never really did. I used to think... aah, I wouldn't have cared, I think, if the Shadow killed me at the dorm that night. I fought it because Yukari was in danger."

You've heard him say it plenty of times, haven't you, Aki? It doesn't matter. I don't care. He laughs a little.

"But I was able to change thanks to you and everyone else."

"Minato--" Glancing to him now, his hands going loose. Yeah he's heard it. Doesn't care- said it so much his apathy started to become a running gag but then- they all-

grew. And became something different because of eachother. Didn't have anyone, no, he sure as hell did now- did- and even with he and Shinjiro taking off ahead of him, Akihiko knew he still had the others, sure. The thought of it is reassuring, and he still cares about them, even if Shinjiro and Minato were near the top of his list now, though he'd protect all of them when needed to.

"Not- were, I'll always be your friend..." Casting his gaze down again, his hands slowly tightening once more. Sure he will, it still doesn't make it better. What happened, not only the deaths but that everything they did was just...

"Tch-" A pained look, moving to press a hand to his head, closing his eyes. "Don't forget it here then, all right? Not 'were', are."

"Ah..." He has to take pause at that. Not were, but are, huh? Don't forget it here. He blinks a few times, and he stares almost in wonder.

They all made fun of Akihiko from time to time. His obsession with protein, his obsessive training, his horrible knowledge of how to deal with women. He looked and acted so cool but he was actually so dorky and it was a side of Akihiko that only they knew, because none of the fangirls would see it. But there was a reason more than the fact that he was physically older that made them call him 'senpai', and it was this. There was a reason why Amada looked up to this man, and a reason why Minato secretly considered him the actual father-like member of the group.

He smiles. And almost laughs. But there's no sound that comes out at first before he drops his head into his hand... and scrubs at his eyes. His hand comes back wet. That's funny. His voice catches in his throat when he tries to respond, and what comes out is an embarrassingly high pitched, "All right."

Oh man. That's pathetic. He needs to answer better. He was leader, he can't sound dumb. But there's more water in his eyes and he has to actually sniffle before he can say any more.

"I won't forget. I... thank you, senpai."

The truth was that he didn't want to die at all. He wanted to live on, and celebrate graduation and saving the world and he wanted the parties and he wanted to graduate, next year, too. If he had a fucked up past, he wanted to make up for it with the future. He didn't regret his choice -- no, he didn't at all, because sometimes the future is for someone else, and he wanted the people he loved to live -- but he really, really wanted to be with them.

So to be promised permanence, even if it's just in their memories and hearts, and have the privilege to hear it... he doesn't know how to handle that. What the hell.

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