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WHO: Akihiko and Minato
WHERE: A restaurant to get dinner and talk. Yeah!
WHEN: Saturday.
WHAT: Minato needs to tell Akihiko Things. Mostly spoilers about their own life.
WARNINGS: Spoilers...? If you don't know the P3 story yet. Talks of death.

Telling a man who was already dead about stuff that had to do with death was one thing. Telling a man who was going to survive that he was going to have to deal with more loss on top of the ones he's already suffered? Not so great. It sucks being the bearer of bad news. But it's probably better than making him find out somehow, long after. It's bound to come up eventually, right?

But Minato's steps are heavier than usual when he walks to the promised restaurant after his shift. His body aches from the labor he isn't used to and he's exhausted, but his heart feels heavier with the burden of having to hurt his teammate. He's glad for the wall to lean back against when he finds himself arriving early. He can just wait here. Akihiko will see him when he gets here -- maybe he should've brought his MP3 player to listen to.

This is going to be a long night.

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Minato doesn't want to trap Akihiko by inviting him all the way back to the apartment and telling him. Then he'd have to make a show of leaving, if he wanted to, and he doesn't want to force him into that position. So he's silent for a few feet as he walks out of the restaurant and down the street, eyes ahead of him until he stops under a streetlight.

"About what you said earlier..."

Hands in his pockets, posture slightly slouched, Minato is really the same as usual. But he turns to Akihiko with a look of apology he doesn't remember showing him ever before.

"About going back. I can't do that."

"Well none of us can yet, but with how thing's are going, it kind of just happens whenever." A shrug, continuing to walk. It was quite annoying, this whole gate business. Seems silly that the leader would be stuck on it though, not being able to return due to the gate. That wasn't really new information?

"You're stuck here just like everyone else for now."

"You're wrong, senpai." He hasn't moved. He continues to stand in the orange spotlight, watching his friend and letting a smile curl the corners of his lips.

"The truth is, I'm in the same position as Aragaki-senpai." Would that be clear enough? He's sure it is. But he adds anyway, "I'm dead. There's no going back."

He'll stop at that. Hearing Minato's voice start to fade away enough to know he's no longer before followed. But he doesn't- quite turn yet, listening to him. He doesn't want to look, and at the same time barely thinks to turn anyway. Stuck in his place his mind slows down and his fists clench at his sides. The leather of his gloves moaning a little under the tightening.

There's not mistaking it. He just said he-

He's dead.

He can't rely on his optimism to twist that one, there's no way to go, and ontop of it he- knows there's jack shit he'll be able to do. He won't remember being told this when he leaves, being fucking- stupid to it all. Unknowing to what's going to happen again.

"It's gotta be a fluke then, could come out either way... maybe I'll- I'll do something different when I go back somehow." The words leaving in a pert sort of way, not wanting to give into his first instinct and punch whatever's nearest to him because this- this is Bullshit. How does it happen again? And even after- he knows he did it there too- at home making amends with what happened, to promise himself to focus on those around him, protect them, be- be useful and guard those he cares about.

And then he loses Minato too? His teeth would crack if his bones weren't so strong right now, jaw tight.

"No- no you have to be kidding me..."

Edited 2014-10-23 19:40 (UTC)

"I wouldn't joke about this with you."

He can hear the tightness of Akihiko's jaw in his voice. Aah, he must be gritting his teeth or something. He's seen that look and heard that voice before. He knows his teammate enough to know.

"It was the only way. Even if you did anything different, it had to be me."

"I know- shit, I know..." Who the hell would about that- and especially to him.

"Had to be you? What kind of bullshit is that- it shouldn't ever have to be anyone." His voice stays tense, unable to unclench it, unable to stop the way his face is starting to heat up. All tense, and his eyes close tight now finally, feeling his eyes push.

"Why the hell does it have to be anyone!?" Not actually a yell- just- a more definite tone, heavy, pointed. Not really- directed at anyone because he can't be mad at Minato, he doesn't know who else he could be mad at but himself. Himself for once again having no control over it. For never- actually being strong enough to fight for anyone, to really help them. Why.... Why can't he do it? It's not- fair. Fuck, feeling all of this at once. He can't even pretend it's something else right now, just has to stand here, dwelling on it, thinking about everyone just-

slowly disappears around him, like as soon as they get close enough, it's worse than being far away. He feels like some jinx, like having no ability to stop what happened is putting blame on him, like he might as well helped what happened and he hates it.

A hitch. His shoulders slumping only to shrug up again suddenly. Not trying to hide, just facing away, as liquid slides down one of his cheeks. Not again- not again it just- keeps happening. Maybe he's acting so strongly so quickly because he felt something was off this whole time. Had to of been... and like always-

he just fucking let himself look blindly away from it.

... He steps forward, then, to stand behind Akihiko. He can see his shoulders shaking and hear the way his breath hitches. Aah, he's crying. He doesn't think he's ever seen that. He doesn't acknowledge it except to turn and lean his back against his.

"We ended the Dark Hour. We won." He wants, at least, to make sure Akihiko knows that. "Let's sit down, senpai. Let me explain."

He used to cry all the time as a kid, for every little thing. But now- he didn't need to cry as much, but when he did he wasn't the type to stop it. Doesn't face him. But doesn't hold back. Why not cry now knowing another of his friend's dies. Helplessness is often followed by such a reaction.

"We won, and at that cost- tch." Hands clenching again, head tilting down.

"Everyone going on ahead of me- you'd think I'd be used to it by now..." Brows furrowing, he opens his eyes and finds he's looking through a blur, water held back that soon clears in favor of sliding down his face. "Explain it all you want..."

He'll turn to nudge him, then, having already found a bench while they were walking. Nobody should come around here at this time. He'll wait; as a leader, he has to keep an eye on his teammate.

"It's not something to get used to, believe me, I thought I was, too." Losing his parents, living he next ten years thinking about how all of those people he met, eventually, would die, himself included, and there was nothing to grieve or mourn about it. He thought he was used to it; how wrong he was.

"After we fought all of the Shadows, we learned that instead of stopping the Apocalypse, we triggered it. There was a thirteenth, waiting to awaken, that was inside of me all along."

It will take him a moment to follow suit, and without taking any extra time to wipe he face. He just needed a moment to unwind, cool it, and he'll go to accompany Minato on the bench.

"Triggered it... after everything?" His brows steeple, confusion and shock in his expression when he finally glances over to his friend, eyes still a bit red. "Then we were- we were botching it from the start..." Wow that's-

this is a lot to hear right now.

"We were tricked. Making us fight those Shadows connected them together." He doesn't say what he's thought ever since he found out. That this happened because he came back to Iwatodai. He triggered the countdown. Iwatodai and the Dark Hour had been in a dormant state until he came back and drew out those Shadows. It was his fault.

But at the same time, if he hadn't shown up, that horrible hour would have continued to exist, drawing out more victims like Ken's mother, Shinjiro, Fuuka and her friends, and Old Man Bunkichi and Koromaru. It had to have meant something.

"The thirteenth, the Arcana of Death, was inside me all along; he woke up after I came into contact with the rest, and he became the harbinger of the fall." A pause. "Nobody knew that until after, though."

It would mean a lot changed, yeah. Had they never done it, many more people would have to suffer, would die even, and Minato by- doing what he did, stopped that? Even if they triggered everything it had to happen that way to end- Like it was

destined too almost. It made it seem like the Leader was always to die if they tried for it, or if they waited, like he couldn't've ever...

He leans forward, putting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"And why- did you have to die for it... I don't get it- if it woke up and left you- we'd just have to defeat it like all the others, right?"

"Shadows exist as long as humans have negative emotions. Which means, they'll never really disappear." Just get tucked away between realms, where time and space don't matter, sucked into the body of that monster called Erebus where nobody can see and it can't touch humans, where it belongs. But Shadows will always exist. "That Arcana was never supposed to be. But he happened and became the Avatar of Nyx."

He doesn't want to say that he was a friend. Akihiko wouldn't know, and it would only hurt him more. That he once befriended Ryoji Mochizuki just to be betrayed by it all over again.

"We did fight him, but it was the night of the Fall. Nyx was already here."

"I know, we've known that for a while, just like with our personas. They're always there and a part of us, people will always feel what they feel... but all of this..." Sits up a little, listening again, his hands covering his mouth. They weren't fools to the shadows and what was going on completely but to think all of it...

"And I'm going to just forget about all of this and keep working to win." Said with a soft tone, looking at the ground.

Eventually he pushes himself up, face still beating, eyes wet. But he won't hide the expression on his face- pained, before he turns and furrows his brows.

"Thanks for letting me know."

"... You will win, in the end."

He isn't the type to make people turn around if they don't want to. He thinks he knows when people need comforting and when they want to stand on their own feet, at least. Akihiko, he can't save by offering a hand. He can't do that, not in his position.

"Sanada-san. Can I say something?"

His brows furrow at that. Win- right.

Even AKihiko knows winning isn't everything. Likes it, lives for it but- At a cost that big...

"Yeah." Quiet for the most part though, facing away.

"Thank you."

That it. That's all. That's all he can say.

A hitch, moving to look at him now, brows furrowed.

"For what?" Almost said angrily. At himself of course, because what the hell did he do to be thanked...

Akihiko, you're already greying. You need to chill out or you'll just bald.

"Would everything be too cliché an answer?" He wonders if Akihiko can hear the little laughter in his voice. "I didn't get to say it, back home."

He'll never chill out, he'll run screaming and kicking into old age and be just as much of a spit fire then as he is now. Just wait, you'll be watching him from heaven chasing kids out of his lawn and screaming bloody murder. The fire, she never goes down.

"Everything- but-" His brows furrow, feeling a push in his eyes again. "I didn't- hell, what did I even manage to do? Let Shinji- ...Let either of you die?" Hearing him laugh almost hurts more. Hearing him okay with it- laughing and thanking him. And here he fought for- for nothing. He was getting stronger and it did nothing.

"Don't thank me. I haven't done anything." Hands clenching. "If I can though- if there's anything I'll be able to do- to- to change it, I can bet I'll do it..." As futile as it is. He doesn't fucking care. he'll- he'll change it. He has to... For everyone, for- for himself.

"You were my friend, senpai." Aah, he never really explained to them, did he? He never told them about himself. They knew about his parents and about what happened on the Moonlight Bridge (at least, they did eventually) but not about this.

"I didn't have any when we first met. Never really did. I used to think... aah, I wouldn't have cared, I think, if the Shadow killed me at the dorm that night. I fought it because Yukari was in danger."

You've heard him say it plenty of times, haven't you, Aki? It doesn't matter. I don't care. He laughs a little.

"But I was able to change thanks to you and everyone else."

"Minato--" Glancing to him now, his hands going loose. Yeah he's heard it. Doesn't care- said it so much his apathy started to become a running gag but then- they all-

grew. And became something different because of eachother. Didn't have anyone, no, he sure as hell did now- did- and even with he and Shinjiro taking off ahead of him, Akihiko knew he still had the others, sure. The thought of it is reassuring, and he still cares about them, even if Shinjiro and Minato were near the top of his list now, though he'd protect all of them when needed to.

"Not- were, I'll always be your friend..." Casting his gaze down again, his hands slowly tightening once more. Sure he will, it still doesn't make it better. What happened, not only the deaths but that everything they did was just...

"Tch-" A pained look, moving to press a hand to his head, closing his eyes. "Don't forget it here then, all right? Not 'were', are."

"Ah..." He has to take pause at that. Not were, but are, huh? Don't forget it here. He blinks a few times, and he stares almost in wonder.

They all made fun of Akihiko from time to time. His obsession with protein, his obsessive training, his horrible knowledge of how to deal with women. He looked and acted so cool but he was actually so dorky and it was a side of Akihiko that only they knew, because none of the fangirls would see it. But there was a reason more than the fact that he was physically older that made them call him 'senpai', and it was this. There was a reason why Amada looked up to this man, and a reason why Minato secretly considered him the actual father-like member of the group.

He smiles. And almost laughs. But there's no sound that comes out at first before he drops his head into his hand... and scrubs at his eyes. His hand comes back wet. That's funny. His voice catches in his throat when he tries to respond, and what comes out is an embarrassingly high pitched, "All right."

Oh man. That's pathetic. He needs to answer better. He was leader, he can't sound dumb. But there's more water in his eyes and he has to actually sniffle before he can say any more.

"I won't forget. I... thank you, senpai."

The truth was that he didn't want to die at all. He wanted to live on, and celebrate graduation and saving the world and he wanted the parties and he wanted to graduate, next year, too. If he had a fucked up past, he wanted to make up for it with the future. He didn't regret his choice -- no, he didn't at all, because sometimes the future is for someone else, and he wanted the people he loved to live -- but he really, really wanted to be with them.

So to be promised permanence, even if it's just in their memories and hearts, and have the privilege to hear it... he doesn't know how to handle that. What the hell.

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