maskormenacelogs | Untamed/MDZS catch-all

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Untamed/MDZS catch-all

WHO: The Untamed / MDZS cast and friends (enemies, etc)
WHERE: Anywhere, everywhere, including their assigned lodgings and around all towns
WHEN: February
WHAT: Catch-all because the emotions never end
WARNINGS: The Untamed / Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation / Mo Dao Zu Shi spoilers; canon-typical violence; event-typical violence. Will add more if it becomes necessary

ooc: Go forth and do the things as they come.

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Jin Ling goes obediently to sit by his side, sitting quietly with his hands in his lap. He still feels awful guilt, and he doesn't think that Sizhui should forgive him. He's not sure if Sizhui was hurt by it, or if it's simply in the past and they're moving on. But he doesn't want Sizhui to have to comfort him while he's the one who's apologizing, so he tries to keep himself quiet and to repress the urge to cry.

He's reassured that Sizhui doesn't blame him and that they're still friends. "Sizhui, what happened? Were you gone while I was unwell? Were you hurt?"

Sitting side by side, Sizhui wants to ease him back to normal. His fingers on the strings, he strums to play a note to warm up. Sizhui recollects what happened the days of the week prior.

"I went out patrolling, looking for you. I was worried about you. I encountered those creatures. I was outnumbered. I couldn't call Jingyi if I have a sword in hand and try to protect people. I fought hard. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. I was hurt, but they gave me medicine. Some of the bruises remain, but it's fading, healing." With a grin. "I guess my inner power from my core does the rest."

Not wanting to press what happened to him. "As long as you're okay, I'm glad you're back." He plays a few more notes until it becomes a song, a song to evoke cheer and calm toward to his mind to comfort him.

So it was his fault that Sizhui got hurt, in addition to how Jin Ling treated him.

"Thank you for helping to take care of me and watch over me the past few days." Jin Ling's grateful, at least, that all he wanted to do was watch TV and go on walks with Fairy. It wasn't like he'd caused much trouble. Just the disappearing and the inappropriate advances on his best friend. "I'm glad you're not hurt too badly."

Calling up his golden core, Jin Ling pours some of the energy into Sizhui in order to boost his healing. It's nice to have his golden core back, and Jin Ling wants to be able to help.

The music is soothing, but Jin Ling finds that he still mostly wants Sizhui's attention and reassurance.

Sizhui intentionally wanted to distract himself. Channeling his thoughts through music helps him focus. When he feels the warmth of the other's energy, he halted his playing in order to receive the energy to heal properly. It's warm.

"No, not hurt. Just worried."

After a few moments, a pause, a slow beat. His fingers pulling on the strings to make a harmonious note. "You can lean on me if you want. I would like that."

A tiny, shy smile flicked across Jin Ling's lips. He didn't feel that he should lean on Sizhui or touch him at all, after what he'd done. But if Sizhui wanted him to lean, Jin Ling wouldn't deny him. Shifting over to lean against his friend, Jin Ling rested his head on Sizhui's shoulder. The contact calmed him more than the music, and the combination very swiftly soothed his heart and eased the urge to cry.

"You're my best friend, Sizhui," Jin Ling said. It came out as a mumble because he was shy.

"You're my best friend too. I was more worried if you're in pain and if there is anything I could do to help. That's what friends are for. To help. You're not yourself yesterday. If you're here with me today, then I'll bring you back to yourself. That's what I would do."

Originally Sizhui wanted to play the song of calming, which is a traditional folk song of healing from Lan's music library that he was taught to memorize. After Jin Ling rested his head on his shoulder, the contact is warm. It felt nice. Familiar. Close. This is proof that he isn't unwanted.

"If not and if you have continued, then I will still help you. To heal you. Everyday. I'm not going to give you up."

Jin Ling blushed at the reassurance, feeling vastly better with the sweetness offered. They were still friends. He hadn't shamed himself beyond forgiveness.

Part of his mind couldn't stop thinking about what he'd done, even though some of the guilt had eased.

He'd wanted to kiss Sizhui. The emotions hadn't been tied into it, there had been no friendship or pride involved. Only desire. And now he had to live with knowing that he felt some amount of desire for Sizhui, even though it was improper and something that he couldn't act upon. That made him feel all the more guilty, knowing that the way he'd come on to Sizhui couldn't entirely be blamed on being without emotions at the time. "You'd better not. Because I'm not giving you up, either. You're stuck with me."

Thinking the song of healing he plays actually works, he can see the logic and reasoning is returning to him. He sees the spark in his eyes, so he figured Jin Ling is back to himself.

"I want you here. I'm just worried you forgotten about going home. I don't mind this world, but I know where we're all from and I believe we return back home someday." He gave him a playful nudge with his elbow. "So, that's what you're stuck with. I'll make sure we all go back home. Together. I will never let you get lost."

Contemplating further, "So about yesterday. Just forget what happened. No worries."

"I know we're going home. I haven't forgotten! Even if we don't remember what happens here. I'm a sect leader. I have responsibilities."

Sulking a little, Jin Ling sat up and looked away. He still desperately didn't want to be a Sect Leader. Not for a few more years, at least. When he got home, he would do his best, and he needed to get home as soon as possible. If he was missing back home, if the Jin Clan was in chaos because he was here, he needed to get back and to fix it.

His emotions were too complicated and overwhelming. He didn't know how to deal with them, so he just pushed them to the side and tried to act proud. "I should get going. It's my uncle's birthday. I've got to thank him for taking care of me and apologize for how I was while I was heartless. I'll be back later tonight."

And that's...that's the main issue. Sizhui knew he'll be a sect leader. He already is and capable, given he just need some experience to lead a clan. Being a Lan, he was taught to rid all desires first, set aside personal interests, and think of protecting the clan as a whole. Sizhui was raised by the twin jades of Lan and knew of the conflict and political hurdles. If they went through it, Jin Ling will think with his desires first, and not with reason and logic.

Resting his hand on the guqin. There's a look of hesitation...and sadness. This time, the pain to the heart is for real, but Sizhui only thinks of his happiness first.

"You're going back to him...? I won't stop you. But please be careful."

Jin Ling nods, getting to his feet. "I've decided that even though I will never forgive him, I still love him, and that no one but me gets to decide the terms of that love. So, yeah."

Feeling exhausted and lonely, Jin Ling hugs himself. Heading to the door, he glances back at the doorway. He still feels so guilty, and there's a new side to his loneliness that he doesn't want to think about too much. "I'll be back in a few hours. I'll text you if I'm gonna be late."

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Untamed/MDZS catch-all

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