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WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: An hour outside De Chima
WHEN: January 10-12
WHAT: imPorts are treated to a Swear-In that’s nothing but a weekend of relaxation at a brand new resort and spa!
WARNINGS: Possible mild nudity

It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it imPorts? Between the invading monsters (yikes!), evading the apocalypse (double yikes!) and then some fear toxin on behalf of your good pal Joker (triple yikes!), imPorts are overdue for a vacation. And wouldn’t you know it? One is coming right up.

Oh, yeah. It’s a Hot Springs Episode.

Welcome to Elysium Resort and Spa! When you come in, you’ll get a brochure with all of their offerings. They’re a little confused, perhaps, espousing relaxation ideals of every culture, clearly having just thrown all of their relaxation spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks, but they’ve got the spirit! The smell of eucalyptus fills the air as you toe off your shoes and change into the slippers and robes that they have available for you as they usher you into what must be, for some, absolute paradise.

You can find rooms for all persuasions here, all purporting various health benefits. They have your typical fare - salt rooms, saunas, steam rooms, buckets of water with ladles resting in them to pour over the heaters to allow them to sizzle - but be warned! Some of these rooms climb up to ridiculous temperatures, leaving the bottoms of your feet red and toasty as you jump in (they suggest sandals, but who reads instructions anyway?), and other rooms are filled with ice as you’re plunged into what may as well be a walk-in freezer. Sometimes the doors are a little fiddly, though. Don’t worry - you won’t get trapped in here long enough for any real harm to come to you. But you might get a little uncomfortable as you rattle at the door, one of the employees eventually hurrying to let you out and offering their sincerest apologies, and won’t you have a gift certificate?

If those rooms aren’t enough for you, you can check out the baths. Salt baths, chilled baths, and hot tubs galore are here for imPorts, but that’s not all. Ever wanted to bathe in tea? In wine? Would you like to sink into a bath filled entirely with clay? How about getting all your dead skin chomped off by fish? It’s all here for you! Just try not to drink the bathwater - or, heavens, eat the fish. Those aren’t for you!

As imPorts stroll outside, they’ll see a beautiful vista overlooking the mountains, attached to a spacious hot springs (it’s natural, they claim, but who’s checking?) where imPorts can simply relax and enjoy the scenery. After that, why not pop inside to where some of the technicians will absolutely insist that you get a massage. Or a mani-pedi - yes, even you, big guy. Or, really, anything that your heart desires.

Once you’ve been poked and prodded and primped to your heart’s content (or discontent, as it may be), the spa open until the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to go and dine on some of the local cuisine, prepared fresh by the resort’s resident chef with a distinct eye to fresh, clean flavors and a truly ridiculous amount of salad. They want to make sure that you’re healthy inside and out, after all!

Before arriving at the spa, everyone was able to choose who they wanted to room with. But it seems that their systems got a bit scrambled during their grand opening, so you may find yourself bunking with a stranger instead. They’re deeply apologetic, of course, but it really would be easier for them if you’d just be nice for an evening and give it a shot. It’s only one evening, right? It’s not like you’ll be roomed with a serial killer. Probably. Given the imPort population there’s, what, a five percent chance?

The hotel rooms themselves are beautiful and spacious, each with a window looking out over the lovely view of the scenery below. It’s the perfect way to end your night… until 3 AM when an alarm begins to blare and all of the guests are ushered outside in the chilly winter air while firefighters come to check the place out. It’s a false alarm (some brat must have pulled it, the manager says apologetically, ready with more gift certificates), but hey, maybe this is a good chance to get to know your neighbors!

The next day, guests are free to take advantage of the resort’s facilities once more, or they can go hiking in the mountainous trails available to them, complete with regular rest stops with firepits, with the staff more than happy to pack lunchboxes and fixings for s’mores.

After they come back and have a thankfully uneventful night’s rest, buses will be ready to take them back to civilization, along with goodie bags filled with luxury goods and an earnest invitation to come back anytime! But maybe next time, wait a couple of months so they can iron out the kinks in their system.

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"Wait, what the fuck? How can you used to crazy, unpredictable shit?" Eddie asked. "That's the whole unpredictable part. Anything could happen."

Matthew shrugs. "I'm a genetically altered supersoldier raised by the government. I'm used to weird."

Lacey chuckles. "Those are all good points. Oh, but if she wasn't beautiful, then she must have had access to all the best beauty products. You know, like how you never seen the queen of England buying drugstore brands."

She pauses for a moment, realizing she might have offended him. "Not that I think there's anything wrong with the queen if you're a fan of the royals."

"You're what? That's like out of a movie. Seriously? That's cool. You can kick ass then."
Eddie stops his rambling and his voice becomes quieter. "Unless it sucked to be raised by the government." He can't imagine his childhood without his friends.

"Not dissimilar to how Jedi and Sith are chosen. Though the Jedi have it a bit easier in comparison."

Which he would definitely be addressing, and oh what fun was he expecting to have explaining the finer details of how his order was filled to bursting with murderous lunatics. But there was definitely a primer that needed addressing first.

"Where I come from, there is something called the Force. It permeates through all things, and some are capable of wielding it in any number of ways. They can sense other life forms, read thoughts, experience visions of past or future events, even manipulate life itself. And it is considered to be divided into two halves- the light and the dark. The dark side offers great power, and certain abilities considered to be unnatural and forbidden by those who follow the light. The Sith seek to master the dark side, and carelessness or overindulgence both offer severe consequences."

She could probably figure out where the Jedi stood in that particular dichotomy on her own, so he'd spare her a treatise on their origins and particular beliefs regarding the Force.

"Anyone in the Sith Empire discovered to possess any manner of aptitude in the Force is required to attend the Sith Academy on Korriban by the Emperor's decree. Refuse, and you will be killed. Fail your trials, and you will be killed. Lower your guard around your fellow acolytes or fail to prove yourself worthy of selection by a master, you will be killed. There are no rewards for being the second most capable acolyte unless by some dark miracle another master takes an interest in you."

Something he knew firsthand, considering the runner-up of his group was executed in front of him. Not that he would be shedding any tears for Ffon, miserable little worm that he was.

"The Sith Code is deceptively simple, and frequently interpreted to serve the desires of those who follow it. Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free. Sith are frequently obsessed with the pursuit of that power, and murder and betrayal is common. Including the Academy overseer, I served three masters. All three tried to kill me for any number of ridiculous reasons. Because if my lower birth, because my death suited their needs, or because they were just sadistic lunatics and in the mood. All three are dead and I am not."

Which was about as detailed as he was willing to be on that particular front unprompted. And even someone not particularly accustomed to reading emotions would have an easy time of seeing just how he felt about that. The rising anger in his voice, the slight increase in just how fast he spoke, how tense he'd started to become. It's subdued in short order once he realized his control was slipping, but it is apparent that an order devoting itself to channeling violent passions tended to result in members whose emotional state was precariously balanced even under the best of circumstances.

"As you can imagine, most of us are not particularly pleasant company, and its rarer still for any of us to trust one another. The Order as a whole is typically united only in their pursuit of power, their hatred of the Jedi and the Republic they serve, and out of an inability to openly challenge the Dark Council without being executed for the trouble. It's hardly a pleasant system, but it at least provides a great deal more freedom than anything the Jedi have to offer."

Edited (the mobile tag from hell and all its assorted typos) 2020-01-20 19:19 (UTC)

"I've spent most of my life fighting a war. Downtime was not really... a thing."

He shrugs. It does not bother him, most of the time.

He shrugs, smiling just a little. "I'm not really sure if it sucked. I never knew anything different. It was a lot or tests."

[He shifts, uncomfortable with this. He's just gotta deal with that now that he's started it, though.]

Not...exactly? Look, I didn't like what you said. [He still doesn't.] But I told you about a lot of bad stuff that happened in just a minute or so, so...it makes sense that you'd kind of freak out about it.

"Oh, sorry."

Abigail says softly. Her life felt like a war near the end. She knows that's not the same as an actual war.

"Beyond the spa, I find hobbies help. I have hunting, sketching, music, cooking...All ways that help me relax."

"Like tests in the hospital or school tests?"

Eddie thinks for a moment.

"You could do fun stuff now, like arcade games and swimming, you know the kid stuff that you missed as a kid."

"Being betrayed, having those close try to kill you or take what's yours," Sal says, very slow and very carefully, and not so different from the display of emotions he just hinted at, "I know what that's like."

Her world or his, it seems like everyone born with power is forced to fight to be free. It's a cold comfort, that, and Sal takes a longer drink out of the bottle this time.

Jedi or Sith. Angels or Demons. So many different worlds and so many different terms, but she struggles with coming to see them under some simple binary. Good or evil, right or wrong; it's always flawed people making flawed choices, and spending the rest of their lives trying to convince themselves that the path they took was the right one.

"What do you think about this place?" She can't help but ask. Just maybe, if their circumstances are at all the same. "Have you felt any freer since coming here? Living everyday where it's kill or be killed, that's not a light burden. And these Jedi..." She shakes her head. Remembers all the Imperium mages who will fight with the barest provocation against a vagrant.

"Oh, yeah, tons of medical tests. I suppose I never did much regular schooling though. Lots of physical and powers stuff."

He has to consider that one. "I've never been to an arcade."

"Those suck. I had to have a ton of medical tests. It's better here. There's a guy with magic powers that can do medical tests without needing needles or x-rays." Eddie's still excited about that. "Maybe you can catch up on regular school now. I bet no one would bully you."

"You should go to an arcade. They're fun as long as you don't spend all your time there."

[Shiro shifts his body to make it easier for Keith to lean against him. He wants to curl around him and fall asleep in the heat. A dangerous but tempting thought. He lifts his head and uses the razor sharp three inch claws on his only front arm to scratch at an itch just under the line of his jaw.] There is. There's that spot at the end of the hike.

[He curls his tail around Keith's waist. There, a compromise with himself. He scratches a little harder at the itch as he says thoughtfully,] It would make a good starting point. It's like that cliff north of the Garrison. You remember it?

The edge of it tipped up at an angle.

[she ducks her head, face burning up.]

I-it's not like I...I'm even owed an apology or anything, though. If I bother you that much, I mean. You don't have to even, like, interact with me. And I won't, either! If it's like that...

"You did?" Her smile gets a little wider and she rests her cheek against his shoulder after a moment. "Well, here's hoping for that relaxation soon enough then."

"Not everyone's fireproof," he pointed out. "Are you? How would the resort staff even know? Plus there's the matter of insurance.

You overreacted, sure. But so did I. I shouldn't have yelled.

[He shrugs again.]

And I'm sorry about that. I don't hate you or anything.

"For whatever it may be worth, you seem to have managed. I've seen worse, at least. Skotia was more machine than man when I put him down."

Scarring, after all, was absurdly common. As were cybernetic parts and mechanical prosthetics. Or just the inevitable decay that came from being too steeped on the dark side for too long.

Her question does give him pause though. It's one of the things he'd been trying not to think about too hard or too often. There was hardly any sense of overwhelming guilt at hiding away here- well, maybe a little- but more often than not it just ended up infuriating him.

"A cage is still a cage, no matter the amenities."

It's a blunt answer, but an honest one. There may have been a whole planet for them to wander, but he was used to entire systems. To say nothing of the massive technological leap backward he had to deal with on a regular basis. And then there was the vastly different set of laws at work. That you were encouraged not to kill anyone causing trouble and were in fact punished for doing so is something he'd need to spend years trying to get used to.

"But the two Jedi I know of here are at least an improvement. And what about you? How are you enjoying your compulsory stay on this particular world?"

Edited 2020-01-20 21:43 (UTC)

[well, maybe he should!! it's probably super justified or whatever? and he's only making himself better for being the bigger person to apologize!]

I mean. Technically. It wasn't yelling, it was...typing. But that's just...being pedantic, I guess.

And. And, it's. Fine. I deserved it. I usually do? So...yeah.

"How complicated."

As far as the matter of being fireproof, that goes unaddressed. Instead, he just tsks, bobbing his head side to side.

"It'd be a decent compensation to at least set something on fire for our time, don't you think?"

[He did yell, just generally, while he was typing in his room, but probably he shouldn't clarify that.]

Okay. Sure.

Still friends, then?

[her head snaps back up, giving him a wide-eyed, incredulous look.]

Are you serious? You--still? Like, you have fair reason to never talk to me again, you know!

His eyes narrow at that, just a little.

"No. I don't think so." His stance shifts, ever so slightly. "I hope that's a joke."

[Roxas just shrugs.]

You think that's the worst thing one of my friends has ever done?

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