open;

[goodtobebad]

WHO: Crowley and various (possibly you?????)
WHERE: Various
WHEN: Second half of the month, after the swear-in
WHAT: Various scenarios! PP me if you want something specific!
WARNINGS: The usual dumbassery, probably.

For Aziraphale; IKEA Adventures;

The thing with buying a house is, apparently, also having to buy furniture? Which, apparently, leads them to a very large home furnishing store, they even serve meatballs or something in a cafeteria. Why anyone would want to eat at a large furniture store is beyond Crowley, but that's not the only issue with this whole situation.

"You do remember we can miracle anything we need into existence, right?" he offers to the angel next to him.


Book shopping; Jeopardy; Open;

Crowley has perhaps been spotted in various esoteric bookshops throughout the porter cities, lately. Today he's in a shop in Jeopardy, browsing the shelves. Religion section.

"There have to be some decent books of prophecy in this dimension, right?" he's muttering to himself.


A grocery store; Nonah; Open;

Crowley is frowning in the middle of the cereal aisle. And who wouldn't? There are so many! What does it all mean? This is absurd!

"...Which is the best one for an eleven year old?"

Help him. Please.

Comments

Jeopardy

[lootsnshoots]

Legible books are among the greatest of treasures one can hope to find in the Wild back home; lost pieces of human culture are more precious than glimmer or gold. And as such, Cayde finds himself poking around bookshops and libraries more often than he otherwise would (not that he doesn't read; he most certainly does). He's in town, he's got some downtime, and heck, maybe he'll find something that his girlfriend would like.

So he's puzzling over poetry when he overhears Crowley muttering to himself.

"Ugh, don't get yourself mixed up in that," he replies, reflexively.

[goodtobebad]

Crowley glances up, raising an eyebrow. Ah yes, cyborg guy. He likes this one.

"Not looking for myself. There's a rather lovable angelic entity I know who goes gaga for a good book of prophecies."

[lootsnshoots]

"Well, can't help you there. Left all my banned books of prophecy in another timeline. But I s'pose that means I can prophesize that there will be a book of prophecy, if that counts for anything?"

It doesn't. He just likes being cheeky.

[goodtobebad]

"Helpful," Crowley says with a snort. "It's only too bad I'm unlikely to find a signed first edition. He does love his signed first editions."

But that doesn't mean he won't find anything interesting!

"There's no real way to replace a collection centuries in the making."

[lootsnshoots]

"Don't I know it," he sighs. So much was lost during the Red War.

"So what happened? Fire? Flood? Self-replicating nanites?"

Jeopardy

[perfectlyhuman]

Should they be looking for school books? Probably. Is this a lot more interesting? You bet it is. So Adam is wandering around the shop, picking anything that has a vaguely interesting cover, such as weird titles, or pentagrams.

He's nearby, holding a few of them in his arms.

"Like books that tell the future?" He looks up at the shelf. "Are those real?"

Says the boy that changed the past.

[goodtobebad]

"They're almost entirely false, but Aziraphale likes them," Crowley says truthfully. And of course, the fact that Aziraphale likes them is the most pertinent.

[perfectlyhuman]

It's a good a reason as any, as far as the boy's concerned.

He tries to read through some of the titles on display. "Why don't you make your own? If they're fake, anyway."

[goodtobebad]

"I'm not a writer," Crowley says with a shrug. "And anyway, I'm no Nostradamus or Mother Shipton. Celebrities, y'know."

[perfectlyhuman]

Should he know those names? Nostradamus sounds familiar, at least.

"Maybe there's different ones here." And he takes a closer look at the books on the shelf in front of him. "Most of these are about witchcraft. Some witches could tell the future, right? Maybe there's something in these."

IKEA

[bookshopped]

The angel is wondering about the whole meatballs thing himself and is torn between being a tremendous snob and dismissing the idea entirely and indulging his curiosity and trying them because they do seem popular.

But first and foremost furniture! For their new place.

Aziraphale clucks his tongue gently and moves to take up Crowley's arm. "It's simply not the same when you do it that way."

This is the angel who buys all his clothes and then keeps them for centuries because he's sentimentally attached to them. (He will rethink his position entirely on this about two hours into allen wrench hell when they have to put things together, but for now, he stands by it.) "It's all more... substantial, this way."

[goodtobebad]

Crowley already deeply regrets agreeing to this - aside from the part where he's arm-in-arm with the angel. That part is all right.

"I dunno," he says dubiously, glancing over the various offerings. "Most of this stuff doesn't really seem your style."

They'd asked where one goes to buy furniture, and this is where they were directed, but... yeah.

"See anything you like?"

[bookshopped]

Aziraphale opens his mouth to argue before, well, he looks around. "It is all a bit... modern."

He'll admit that as much because, well, he's more the old overstuffed comfy sofa type. Tufted ottomans. That sort of thing.

But this was where they'd been told would be best! So it probably is. He hums, thoughtful before-- "Oh! Look! Bookshelves." Yeah there's a start. He tugs his demon off in that direction.

[goodtobebad]

To be fair, this is also not Crowley's style, for the most part. Crowley's style runs more toward austere. But whatever. Maybe they'll find a halfway decent sofa.

...or bookshelves. There we go.

"Hm. You'll need to get a lot more books to fill some of these up," he comments lightly. He's already given Aziraphale a few.

[bookshopped]

"Yes, I certainly will." And this is clearly in the plan -- though the ones that Crowley has gifted him will get front and center placement because they are important. Very very important. Again, sentimental value. The angel is a sucker for it.

He glances over at Crowley, considering a moment before adding, "I know it's likely all quite temporary, being in this reality at all, this house, everything, but... it will be our first home. That we're choosing and making together." So he wants to do this right, wants to piece this all together into a whole that works for them.

Nonah

[tricksterofasgard]

Having a demon in your store may or may not be considered a bad omen. Add a self-proclaimed god of Northern mythology to that and you may be getting closer to a recipe for disaster. Especially if said god still harbors a grudge against aforementioned demon and is already frustrated by being stuck in this maze of human sustenance he so foolishly entered. Naturally, hearing the demon's voice not too far away brings a twitch to the Asgardian's face.

Oh. He hasn't forgotten.

So while Crowley still tries to figure out breakfast cereal, Loki appears at the entrance of the aisle and fixes the demon with a frown. At least he still resists the urge to outright go for his blades.

"And here I thought you would be older. This explains a few things."

[goodtobebad]

Crowley raises his eyebrows at the newcomer. Ah. That one.

"Oh, it's the overcompensating god, nice to see you still around, and still overcompensating," he comments lightly. "Do you have an opinion on Wheatums verses Cheeriahs?"

If Loki was trying to offend Crowley, it clearly did not succeed.

[tricksterofasgard]

The snarl is an imminent response, as is the way the Asgardian tenses up. Only the slight gripping motion of his hand gives a vague suggestion that he would love to summon one of his daggers right there, right then. Unfortunately, that would not do. Not at this time, at least.

So instead of raising a dagger to point at the other man, Loki has to settle with just raising an accusing finger as he steps forward.

"Who are you calling an overcompensating--"

And that is as far as he gets before being cut off by a piercing, high-pitched screech that quickly turns into similarly high-pitched laughter as a little girl in a flowery dress comes clumsily running into the cereal aisle, closely followed by her remotely older sibling. The children narrowly avoid running into the adult men's legs and loudly proceed onward.

Somewhere during this noisy interruption Loki's gaze has shifted from glaring at Crowley to blankly staring into the empty space just over the demon's shoulder and he can all but utter the question that has become an unsolvable mystery in his existence.

"Why. Are humans. Like this?"

[goodtobebad]

The kids - well, Crowley doesn't mind kids. He may not know much about them, but he's always had a fondness for them. They tend towards the chaotic, after all, and he likes the chaotic sorts.

He finds himself smiling at them, even.

"They're kids, you loon. Never seen a kid before?" He scoffs, waving a hand and preparing to turn back to the cereal, which is certainly more interesting than some weirdo who wants to throw a temper tantrum.

[tricksterofasgard]

"I prefer them kept at a distance." The Asgardian remarks. He may have an affinity for chaos himself, but children are the sort of uncontrolled madness Loki prefers not to engage with. It's bad enough that he has been assigned a job that has him dealing with these pesky little gremlins way more often than he likes.

Now with his little outburst quite effectively cut short, Loki has to settle with what is left of his annoyance and permits his attention to be drawn towards the array of cereal. Colorful boxes depicting even more colorful creatures presenting what humans apparently consider to be food.

He certainly could repeat his earlier question.Though he doesn't. Instead, he picks up a random box, blue with what vaguely resembles a llama on it, and frowns at the picture before flipping the box over to study the back, not looking overly taken by what he finds there.

"I am fairly certain they also offer actual sustenance in this place." Is he being helpful? Not necessarily. But turning irritation into dismissive behavior is at least less destructive than other means he could turn to.

Jeopardy

[hisfavoriteson]

It might be a bit unexpected to find Lucifer in the religion section of a bookstore, but, well, there he is. Contemplating a couple of books written in Latin, even.

"That depends on what you mean by decent."

[goodtobebad]

Crowley glances in Lucifer's direction, raising an eyebrow above his ubiquitous sunglasses for a moment.

"Well-written, and preferably unique to this dimension," he responds after a moment. "The more poetical, the better."

[hisfavoriteson]

"I didn't know poetical prophecies existed." Or maybe he's just annoyed at the role prophecy played in his life. "If I see anything like that, I'll let you know."

[goodtobebad]

“Your world doesn’t have Nostradamus, Mother Shipton or the Book of Revelation?” Crowley asks curiously. He’s not much of a reader, certainly no literary critic, and he’d be the first to admit he doesn’t care about prophecy. But it’s one of Aziraphale’s favorite things, so anyone who wants to be dismissive of it as a literary genre in his earshot is going to put him just slightly on the defensive.

Also, a real prophecy had actually saved his and Aziraphale’s lives, quite recently. So.

[hisfavoriteson]

"I'd hardly call the Book of Revelation poetical." That's probably just spite on his part though. He's not a fan of any part of that particular collection of writings.

"I don't know how poetical Nostradamus is either, but they're certainly prophecies."