CLOSED: There is no try

[deosil]

WHO: Chise and Kanan
WHERE: De Chima
WHEN: An early November afternoon
WHAT: Kanan senses some Spooky Shit™ about Chise and offers to teach her about the Force.
WARNINGS: none

De Chima was temperamental in its weather and that made dressing appropriately a matter of luck most days. For once, Chise was dealt a better hand. There was a crispness in the air of a delayed fall chill finally starting to settle in the ordinarily temperate area. In a sweater big too baggy on her, she strolled through the entrance to the local park.

Eyes darting to the concrete walkway carpeted in leaves anytime she passed by another park goer. She walked just fast enough to make good time while not drawing attention to herself. Even when Kanan said not to worry, wanting to be invisible was a hard feeling to shake. Especially since it's been so long since she did anything or went anywhere alone.

There was a lonely little park bench a few yards off from where a rusted swingset the kids ignored in favor for the new playsets. It was close enough to the treeline she could bolt if she felt overwhelmed, but in the open. Putting herself comfortable in the line of sight anyone looking for her.

Armed with an over the shoulder bag with her cursed skin and two cans of Neverbeast Espresso she brought from work, Chise waited.

Comments

[kanyounot]

Kanan has learned to trust the Force to guide him - he's not had time to memorize the layouts of all the cities, but he's still got the Force, so he's pretty much fine to get around. Of course, curbs he's discovered can trip him up - literally. So he has a stick for those. A local business owner in Heropa gave it to him, actually - just because, he supposes. It works.

Chise is very distinctive, in how she feels to him. She's not like Ezra, or Ahsoka. Nor is she like any of the dark side Force users he's dealt with, though there is a certain chilliness that reminds Kanan of that. But it means he can make a beeline for her in the park because frankly, he could tell where she is from a mile away.

"Hey Chise," he says, keeping his voice calm. It's easy to do these days. Kanan meditates a lot. So even knowing this kid is apparently? Living with Thrawn, he thinks, okay, we'll figure this out.

[deosil]

Chise heard the tap, tap, tap of something hard rhythmically striking concrete before she got a clear sight of the man she was waiting. For some reason, she sits up straighter on his approach. Not that he would notice, or even particularly care from what she gathered about him.

What she gleaned, Kanan seemed kind and patient in his casual approach to things. She felt him like a hearthfire; strong, but there was a comforting purpose to this Force he seemed to wear like a yoke. She liked him, even if she was still so unsure about him.

"Hello," She replies, not picking up anything from his tone of voice. "I didn't know if it was too late in the day, but I brought us coffee."

She digs in her bag and produces the two cans and sets one down on the bench with a deliberate little thud.

"Thank you..." She says, "For coming here on such short notice, I mean."

[kanyounot]

"It's really no trouble," Kanan says, grabbing the can and sitting down next to her. He cracks it open, and gives it a sniff. "Ah, I love this stuff," he adds before taking a sip.

"So what do you want to know? About the Force?"

[deosil]

Chise preened a little bit at his comment, content knowing she had remembered something he liked. There was a hiss of carbonated air escaping her own can to break the silence. For one peaceful moment it was just two people just enjoying coffee in a park on a lovely fall day.

"I think..." Chise began, cradling her half empty coffee can in her lap. "There are some aspects of it I might already know."

Breathing in, then breathing out she begins.

"My whole life I've been a wellspring of sorts. Magic, the Force, living energy or what have you - I'm basically like a big sponge taking in all this energy. Seeing things normal humans shouldn't, doing things they shouldn't. It's vast and deep like the ocean that sometimes I just drown in it. Every attempt we've made to cut it off hasn't exactly panned out."

She looks at him, and wonders if even blind he could see more than she could.

"Here, I'm taking in and putting out so much but still...I felt a pull from you. It was so familiar but different, and I want to understand that."

[kanyounot]

Kanan listens. He's good at that, these days. He lets the light breeze ruffle his ponytail, and he listens to a girl tell him about the strange powers she has, that she apparently has never learned to control properly.

"I see. Can you tell me why you tried to cut it off?" he asks after a moment or three of thoughtful silence. "Is it because you've been afraid of drowning?"

[deosil]

As she unloads on this near perfect stranger, there is a tightness in her chest that begins to loosen its grip. Chise didn't even know it was there, but it made her feel more at ease. Knowing there was a chance in this strange place, someone was willing to listen.

"Because you can't fill a pitcher with more than it can hold and that much power was killing me," She said far too casually for someone saying they had been living on borrowed time. "And here I'm just not sure anymore. I don't if it's the same with you."

[kanyounot]

"Well, I've never heard of the Force killing someone," Kanan says after a moment. "The Force is neutral. It's balance. It's got light and dark sides, always in tension and while you can use the Force to do violence, the Force itself doesn't just... kill."

That's just... weird.

"It can affect things, though. People. It connects everyone, every living thing. It's possible the Force led me to you - that our meeting was no coincidence."

[deosil]

"To be honest I don't know much about who or what I am," Chise admitted with a little slump to her shoulders. "Every step forward was always two back with what I could do. We were sort of stumbling in the dark or I was doing something silly to navigate around what was happening to me."

There was clear frustration that colored her voice, but it wasn't anger. If anything - it was just exhaustion.

"I think...the Force is a commonality between us as a living energy," Chise was really just thinking out loud but Kanan seemed like a good sounding board. Attentive and kind enough to deal at least make an attempt. "That's maybe why you felt so familiar. It's....different, but I can feel the intent in it. Where I come from there's always a hook, a catch to that kind of power.

With you it just feels quieter."

[kanyounot]

"That seems very confusing and scary," Kanan says, with complete honesty. He was lucky in the sense that he'd never had to question who or what he was. His earliest memories are of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, learning about the nature of the Force and how to channel it. The Jedi were his home and family.

"Have you ever tried meditation? It might not stop the energy, but it might at least help you feel a little quieter."

[deosil]

"I'm sorry," Chise tipped her empty coffee can over her knee and watched it balance there on the precarious grasp of her loosely held fingers. "There is one lesson I've learned here, and that whatever the 'Force' is it's got maybe a million names."

She looks at Kanan and maybe he doesn't see it but there it a clear envy in her eyes. Whoever he is, or whenever he came from - someone cherished him. That much was clear, even if he didn't acknowledge it. The spindly, strung out guy sipping espresso - to her - had the presence of a king. Or forgotten prince.

"No," She admitted. "But I guess you're an expert."

[kanyounot]

Hey, he's not that spindly! Okay, he's a little spindly.

He might not be able to see the way she's looking at him, but he can feel something from her, some kind of aching loneliness or isolation that makes him concerned. He wonders if this is what it sometimes feels like in his own galaxy, for the children who are Force-sensitive but who will never be discovered by the Jedi because there's no one to find them now, children who will grow up with no training and will always have to hide what they can do, their special connection.

He puts a hand on her shoulder, because she's not alone and someone definitely cherishes her.

"It's a pretty simple concept, but it can be tricky to master," he says. "It's really just about opening yourself up to the universe. Finding a way to do that can be different for everyone, but it tends to start with finding someplace quiet, where you can sit and be alone and just focus your mind."

[deosil]

Her hand rested over his, and in an instant - she felt something.

When those calloused but musically long fingered hands were on her - Chise felt the world. She was short of breath; seeing so many things. A mosaic of things opening to her. When one door closes...

Chise took a deep breath, and dove right in.

In one moment she is a little girl on a faraway planet called Thabeska pleading a orange and white-faced girl to stay. Swimming through memories, And when she wasn't one of the Fardi girls, she was a angry gray cloud pressing into a storm in a high tower over gold fields.

No...don't- Chise thought as his memories laden with the Forced poured into her. Stance-

"Can you follow me," Chise asked cautiously. "Into the woods? I want to show you something."

[kanyounot]

And somewhere in there, perhaps, a boy called Caleb, cold, frightened, hungry, and grieving for his master, for the first time in his life cut off from the interconnected web of Jedi - thousands of them, blinked out of existence in such a short time.

Kanan isn't oblivious. He nods. "Sure, lead the way."

Literally, he'll have to keep a hand on her shoulder but it's doable.

[deosil]

Fractals of what could've been a hundred worlds away dance, distance in her mind. As Kanan's Force spills into her, she understands one thing: this shouldn't be a spectacle.

There is a sharp snap of something - the air, or energy - when Chise reaches for something hidden in her jacket.

Blank sockets of a fox pelt meet Kanan's gaze long enough for him to register the image until a shadow envelops the girl. As quick as a flash, Chise is gone.

Tendrils of pitch black shoot up, and spiral upwards then down on Kanan's right shoulder. Something solid amasses in the shape of a red fox. Its red, sleek body balanced precariously on his shoulder. A white-tipped red snout presses to his face before bounding off Kanan's shoulders.

The animal rushes towards the woods. Stopping just short of the treeline before looking back.

[kanyounot]

It takes a little while for Kanan to understand what's happening - because, well, he can't see it, and it's not at all something that's in his usual wheelhouse. So yeah, it's a weird thing that Kanan's never experienced before, but by the time the fox jumps on his shoulder, he's not... completely freaked out.

"Okay. Well that's... a thing."

Fortunately, she has a pretty distinctive Force signature, so it's easy for him to follow.

[deosil]

For Chise, that was just listening to a voice. Albeit her own, but buried deep within; so far it took something a little more than skin deep. When Chise wore the guise of a fox - she was that animal.

Maybe it wasn't whispering portents of 'Dume' but when the red fox broke for the forest it stopped abruptly short. Just at the treeline to break out a loud cry. The animal was both begging and challenging Kanan to follow it deeper into the woods.

Through thickets and twilight, the fox led Kanan towards a glade. Chise sniffed the ground and chose a path. About two meters deep, a rock formation erupted from the mess of roots and vines. She jumped up on an eruption of mudstone and sat. And waited. For Kanan.

[kanyounot]

Kanan is no longer the boy Caleb Dume - he doesn't ask why quite as much, in part because sometimes the why of things is just too big, because the Force is just too big, and he can't - shouldn't - always see where all paths lead.

He can, however, trust that the Force somehow intended for this to happen - for him to be here, for her to be here, for them to meet. He doesn't know why, maybe he'll never know, maybe it's for him, maybe it's for her, maybe it's for both of them or maybe it's for some reason that's much bigger and more complex than both of them will ever understand. But here he is, and he is following.

"You know it's not always real easy, stumbling around blind," he points out when he finally reaches the outcropping - he's pretty sure that's what it is, because she's higher up now, like she's climbed on something.

[deosil]

There wasn't a moment of pride that led her here. The echo of her skin had a purpose, a reason. Always, always she had some kind of familiar sound echoing in her head. Only, one problem - it was her own voice, and she was screaming at herself to trust this man.

On the root and clay outcropping, the fox rests on its haunches. Looking down at Kanan, expecting him to do the same. In a throaty growl:

"Jarrus...

The fox bows its head. Maybe it means to meditate, or repent any earlier transgressions. Anyway, this thing is a friend.

[kanyounot]

Of course, she turns into a talking animal. That's fine. This is fine. Kanan can work with this.

There's a patch of soft earth under his feet, and he drops down, legs tucked underneath him, his preferred position for meditation, hands on his legs, palms down.

"This is definitely a nice, quiet spot," he comments, taking a breath, reaching out, not just for her but for the grass, the leaves on the trees.

[deosil]

Chise would argue she was not really talking. There was a conscious, fighting effort on her part to retain some of her humanity over the din of animal instinct. If there was something to compare it to, it would be a particular stubborn parrot.

"Sorry about that," She said in a now pleasantly normal if a bit embarrassed voice. Not that Kanan could see her sitting there with a fox pelt on her head like an out of place reenactor from a documentary about Vikings.

"You probably just deserved to know what I could do before I could ask you to teach me anything."

[kanyounot]

"Seems fair," Kanan says, his voice still calm and easy. "I doubt I can teach you anything specific to your powers, but anyone can learn to meditate. It's just a matter of focusing inward, taking deep, even breaths, and clearing your mind."

[deosil]

"All I want is to learn something new," Chise said as she shrugged off the skin. Her expression was someone expecting some form of reprimand.

Still, however small she she tried to make herself, Chise tucked her knees under herself.

"I want to listen," She inforced as she took a very dignified if forced stance. "I want to learn."

[kanyounot]

Kanan nods. "It's good to want to learn new things. We should never stop trying to learn. If we do, we stagnate."

There is no ignorance, but knowledge.

He gestures. "You always want to start by getting comfortable. There's no one way to meditate. I prefer sitting like this. I knew some others who preferred sitting cross-legged."