I THOUGHT BY NOW YOU'D REALIZE

[maskormods]

WHO: ImPorts!
WHERE: The Jefferson Hotel, Washington D.C.
WHEN: July 17th, 4:00PM - 11:00 PM
WHAT: A Swearing-In gets ruptured.
WARNINGS: Will updated if necessary.

This Swearing-In this July takes place in presidential Washington, D.C. for a highly patriotic evening. The eternally classy Jefferson Hotel, complete with appropriate dining and the presentation hall serves as the evening venue. The dress code requested is fancy, suit-and-tie, but business casual would be acceptable. The evening air is heavy -- the humidity can be unforgiving, even north of the warmer states, but the crisp coastal breeze will bring some Atlantic relief. You are free to walk around the Jefferson Hotel in any room that isn't already being rented out by other patrons -- so yes, you can get up to personal shenanigans! But try to have a little decorum about those amorous impulses, won't you? If you wander in the secondary reception room, you'll be able to engage the totally patriotic informational material decorating the grand and gilded hall. There's a painting covered by a black velvet drape, though you might easily peek beneath it to check it out. Wonder why that's been hidden! Well ignore it, because there's plenty of beautiful art to behold all evening. Get absorbed in the messages, unironically!

Your Swearing-In itinerary is as follows:

4:00 Arrival time. You are free to waltz around the Jefferson Hotel, or explore the national monuments of Washington, D.C. The capital will look exactly as it did during the year 2000.

You cannot meet with President Freemason.

5:30 Cocktail hour. Enjoy! Juice hour for the young'uns. You may also use this time to dance along the designated dance floor in your fancy pants.

6:30 Keynote speaker SENATOR HAIK addresses imPorts in the presentation hall about why you're better dead than red. You might nod off at a point or two, but you'll catch the following:
1) The USSR is moving beyond nuclear power, seeking to match the imPorts in capability.
2) The CIA has lost two undercover agents in Moscow. Haik believes this foreshadows a deep risk.
3) The US will respond if attacked.

6:55 An anti-war protester, a young man with sandy hair who had masqueraded as a newly imPorted man, storms the podium stage. He screams about a conspiracy! A conspiracy!! Between Freemason and Volkov! That this cold war is but a fabrication! Thousands of American lives are put at risk because of their mutual thirst for power!

6:56 Protestor is tackled by security. His arms are broken (snap!) as he's carried away.

7:30 A stately dinner! Have at the options.

8:01 The lights cut out. Any NON-LIFE DEPENDENT tech that you have on yourself dies, meaning communicators and phones are temporarily disabled. Full on blackout, not even wireless is accessible. But don't worry, EVERYTHING IS OKAY! Remain calm. Remain where you are. Please do not make out under the white linen tables.

8:49 All power returns.

9:30 The All-American Agenda Regarding imPort Interaction and Integration Presentation will be showcasing exemplary imPorts who have exhibited their true moral integrity and patriotic glamor to the height of good citizenry! This presentation will be holographically delivered back in the presentation room, and will be moderated by Senator Haik. All images and video will present as a semi-transparent 3D visual and will be complete with fully articulated audio. You won't miss a single detail! Sit back, relax, and congratulate your extraordinary fellow imPorts! Media from domestic AND most Western international outlets are welcomed into this venue for broadcast. You can EXPECT THIS to go VIRAL on the incredibly democratic BLUETUBE (no communists allowed).

PRESENTATION IS AS FOLLOWS:

Unless otherwise specified, as each name is rattled off, a picture of the figure in question is displayed on the screen, an ominous accompaniment to the lies - and truths - being spread. What's a name without a visual, after all?

"NAGACHIKA HIDEYOSHI... an ordinary young man, or a turncoat? From yet another world with bloodthirsty threats waiting to come out of the Porter at any time, Nagachika is the son of a man who strives to fight against the threat: the Ghouls. But Nagachika has turned against the will of his family, the government, and the good of mankind to use these horrific creatures for his own gains! What's stopping him from doing the same here?"

As the dialogue - complete with subtitles for anyone that needs them - runs its course, a picture appears on the screen: Nagachika and Ken Kaneki, the ghoul in question. Ken's claws are out, and contrary to its apparent monstrosity, Nagachika looks perfectly placid.

"KANG is a living embodiment of monsters living in our midst, among our families and children as the government stands idly by! Don't be fooled by the imPorts' ability to blend in with the rest of us -- monsters are monsters, no matter what form they take. Kang is a childslayer, and viciously killed and devoured his brothers and cousins in a bid for power and dominance! If that wasn't enough, he ate his parents too! It's only a matter of time before he decides to make a bid for power here, and like all creatures of his race, the only way to establish dominance is through feeding on the children. Want to keep your babies safe? Keep them away from Kang!"

Next, a poster appears on the screen, though in the interest of accessibility and good old fashioned theatricality, a voice-over booms throughout the room.

"TOUKA KIRISHIMA and KEN KANEKI are a duo of criminals, preying on the innocent citizens of De Chima. While Touka Kirishima uses her beguiling charms to seduce unsuspecting victims in her homes, Ken Kaneki lies in wait to devour them. Their home is one of depravity of the highest kind; though Touka may not have any interest in those she preys upon, she'll do anything for Ken. Even sociopaths can fall in love, and this twisted figure will kill for it."

"Self-hatred is an ugly thing, and none are as ugly as ABIGAIL HOBBS, a witch so disgusted with the beastliness inside that she has lashed out against the public! She may be lovely enough aside from that aberration of a missing ear, but beware! There's nothing but rot inside. She preys only on young women who look like her, hiding them away to perform black magic. And who has been able to get close enough to her to hack away her ear? She did that herself... a true product of a twisted mind!"

"KANAYA MARYAM... this alien menace walks among us, sowing the seeds of her sinister kingdom in our own innocent citizens! Within our very own cities, where good people should be able to sleep safe and sound, Kanaya has begun feeding and harboring a vampire army of her own creation. How many has she already turned? How many more will she turn? Could your family be the next to join their ranks? The only certain thing is that this mother of monsters won't stop until she's shrouded our planet in darkness!"

"VERITY WILLIS is a walking polygraph, and while she's free to lie through her teeth about her own decency, she wants to know all of your secrets for her to twist at her command, knowing that none dare cross her! She's a cheater and a blackmailer, willing to blackmail unsuspecting men into dating her lest she give away their deepest, darkest secrets. Even if her power could be a boon to the public in helping save the city from criminals, she is a slave to her own greed. All she wants is money, sex and power, and she might just use your secrets to get them! Think you can still trust her? Then what kind of truthteller spends her time with the God of Lies?"

"OWEN BURNETT'S life is built upon lies after lies after lies! He may seem to be a harmless bureaucrat on the surface, but don't be fooled! His apparent dullness is nothing but a front for his sinister intentions: to get into the imPort government and dismantle society from within! A mere proficiency in lies may seem impotent next to the monsters and beasts he works with, but just consider: what kind of mind does it take to keep up a constant facade?"

"JONATHAN CRANE has been moonlighting as an upstanding citizen, psychiatrist to all who need his help, but he is the one that needs help -- in a mental asylum! Unbeknownst to everyone he claims to be helping, he is a cold-blooded murderer. After he was abandoned by his parents, his grandmother kindly took him in, but in a cruel twist of fate, her empathy and selflessness was repaid by Crane murdering her in cold blood! Unsatisfied with killing one person who showed him kindness, Crane moved on to kill a second... his mentor at the university, Avran Bramowitz, was killed by him, and Crane took his position. If that wasn't enough, he was fired from his position for unethical experiments on his students, scarring them to this very day. Is this the man you want dealing with our volatile imPorts? We think not!"

"TRACI THIRTEEN is another witch in our midst, but she doesn't stoop to the likes of Abigail Hobbs! No, mere cruelty to those around her isn't enough to quench her bloodlust. She has made deals with demons for her magic in a never-ending quest to become powerful enough to rule over all who would oppose her! She may be doomed to Hell, but until then, she plans on creating Hell on Earth -- one look at what she's capable of is proof enough of the devastation she's plotting to wreak! Would you let her go any further?"

Accompanying this voice-over is a rare image of one of the imPorts in motion; Traci is seen in the middle of the street, the black shadows around her echoing the pure black of her eyes as a giant snake bursts out from underneath the ground.

"Don't be fooled by his diminutive stature! EDWARD ELRIC is a menace to those around him, willing to tie human lives into his sick experiments! His powers of transmutation is not limited to the destruction of property around him. No, he has committed human transmutation, satisfying a dark curiosity for what happens when he uses his powers to corrupt a human form. Stay away from this boy at all costs! Death would be a kinder option than the suffering he puts his subjects through."

"MILES EDGEWORTH is a lawyer more corrupt and twisted than the supposed criminals he's put behind bars! Yes, supposed — known in his own world as the Demon Prosecutor, this amoral attorney has made a mockery of the justice system time and time again! Nothing is below him — bribery, forgery, blackmail, and lies are all fair game! His obsession with winning at any cost has led to the death of at least one innocent man, Terry Fawles — and how many more skeletons does he have in his closet? How many murderers has he allowed to walk the streets while innocent citizens suffer behind bars because of his tactics? And if innocent until proven guilty no longer has any meaning, why harbor a criminal prosecutor?"

"ANDREW WARNER is a college drop-out. That may be a typical fate among listless and misguided youth, but each man has his reason, and his speaks to the moral bankruptcy of imPort youth! After gambling away his student loans, Andrew Warner desperately tried to have an affair with his married professor to stay in school. When that foray into the dark side didn't work, he dug deeper, turning to gang activity to drum up funds until he dropped out of school entirely, too addled by drugs and violence to string together a sentence, let alone be able to write a single word!"

"HARRY HART is but another example of the secrecy imPorts keep about their true talents, all the while making their way into the people's good books! He secretly makes regular trips to the local shooting range, but what nobody knows is the pictures he puts on the targets. From everyone from his neighbours to the teachers from the local schools, Harry harbours a deep resentment towards those around him. What will he use this anger for? To rob the honest businesses around him? To start a public shooting? The real question is: do you really want to be around to find out?"

Attached to this particular voiceover is a clip of a man, indistinct in face and demeanor, viciously unloading a clip at the shooting range. Is it actually Harry Hart? That much is debatable.

"KAITO KUROBA may not have any dark secrets to divulge, nor is he a danger to society. No, he is an example of something much worse -- the true nature of the people asked to protect the people around them, the true nature of what sort of people are being given homes and jobs free of charge and effort! He is a lily-livered coward, the sort that has never had to fend on his own; by accepting government hand-outs, the government is merely prolonging his pathetic life. He even screams like a child at the mere sight of something as innocuous as fish. Is this what you want your tax dollars going towards? Is this what you want protecting your homes?"

"MILES MORALES may appear to be nothing more than a child, as sweet and innocent as children come, but even the youth among us may be corrupted. Perhaps it is not his fault that his uncle had ensnared him from such a long age, but once the rot is set in, it's not so easy to get it out again. Miles assisted his uncle in all sorts of crimes, each escalating so quickly that it eventually culminated in murder. If you think you're safe from imPorts just because they're children, remember what they're truly capable of...!"

"ANYA BORZAKOVSKAYA is a necromancer. Not only are imPorts hellbent on killing and destroying the innocent people of this nation, but they won't even let them rest peacefully in their graves. After the tragic deaths of so many at the hands of the imPorts, Anya digs up their bodies and raises their ghosts, adding them to her morbid collection so that they may never find peace again!"

Accompanying this voice-over is an image of Anya with ghosts on leashes being dragged behind her. It also looks suspiciously photoshopped. Are those really ghosts...? Well, it's not as if any natives have ever seen any to say for sure!

"Is there any youth among the imPorts that haven't engaged in a life of debauchery and crime? If there is, GOGO TOMAGO isn't among their ranks. At the ripe age of only eleven, this woman was a lawbreaker to her very bones; she was an irresponsible speed racer, a speed demon whose hunt for a simple adrenaline rush outweighed the importance of all the lives that hung in the balance. Do you trust imPorts like these to stay in control? When someone like this is given something like superpowers, watch your back! While she searches for her next big rush, your life may be on the line!"

10:50 Senator Haik speaks to ANY reporter who will listen WITH ONE solid soundbyte: THE US DEPARTMENT OF INFORMATION AND TECHNOLOGIES HAS BEEN HACKED BY SOVIET SPIES. This is clearly an aggressive tactic that WILL be appropriately responded to!

Comments

4:00 PM

[notyourfathersosborn]

[Approaches the entrance wearing a black tuxedo and spies the commotion almost immediately. Normie heads straight over to the duo, scowling.]

Why are you refusing this man entry? Are you not aware this man is clearly an import? How do you not know his outfit isn't the definition of black tie from the universe he's from? Perhaps I should go find your manager and explain to him you're barring one of the invited guests from entering.

[The guy stammers a bit, then waves them both on. Once inside, Normie chuckles.]

Sorry, I had to, you were wearing a TIE fighter tuxedo shirt.

[pobrecisco]

Hey, thanks for the help. And for recognizing this work of art.

[ He's practically beaming, he's so proud of himself for his nerdy tee. ]

[notyourfathersosborn]

No problem. Usually I'm not so rude but since common courtesy was getting you nowhere I figured I'd try scaring him.

I'm shocked you even have one of those, this place doesn't seem to have Star Wars for some reason. Did you come with it?