(no subject)

[inmyothertights]

WHO: whoever and everyone!!
WHERE: Heropa, a park!
WHEN: 4th of July!
WHAT: a party for the birth of America and also Steve Rogers!
WARNINGS: shenanigans, naturally!

[Please make you own top levels and tag amongst yourselves!]

Comments

i'm sorry not sorry

[sidecars]

[ Well, good ol' Jimmy's got an admirer in the form of a short brunet. Not so much an admirer, per say. Not with that obviously suspicious expression, but not quite a stalker either. Not yet at any rate.

Bucky's got a hot dog smothered in ketchup and mustard, chewing on it slowly as he watches this guy. ]

So. You're Steve's roommate.

don't be sorry I WANT THIS

[mcgill]

[Yeah, he knows that look. That look of judgment. HE SEES YOU, KID. HE SEES YOUR FACE.

(Jimmy can't tell if Bucky's actually a "kid" or not. He has one of those weirdly young, boyish faces from days long gone.)

Anyway, Jimmy peers back at his "admirer," expression neutral as he sips from a cup of beer of the root variety.]

And you have functional eyesight.

[because they're stating the obvious, right?? that's what this conversation is?]

OH GOD OKAY GUD

[sidecars]

[ Oh son. Don't get cute on him. Bucky's eyes narrow into little slits at his backsass. ]

Funny. [ No, not at all. DON'T BE MISTAKEN, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. ] So what's your name, pal? What do you do?

C:

[mcgill]

[Oh, snap. Snap. "Pal." Jimmy's never been called that.]

I judge.

[Technically speaking..........]

[sidecars]

[ Yeah, well, it's lathered in so much sarcasm it might as well be a four letter word. ]

Yeah? That your name or your occupation? You like some kinda caveman, never learned the "be" verb? What do you judge, huh? Dog shows? Best apple pie?

[ Yeah, don't do this. Don't be that guy, Jimmy. Because then Bucky will have to be this guy. ]

[mcgill]

[Okay but here's the thing: Jimmy likes being this guy on occasion, because this guy knows how to provoke entertaining, stimulating conversations worthy of his quick wit and sharp tongue.

He's a button-pusher who likes a challenge. Don't hold that against him...!]

I'm Judge James McGill, and I serve as a judge for the local court system, where I judge small claims cases. But now that you mention it, I think I'd be a pretty good choice for an apple pie panel. Would you happen to know when the next bake-off is?

[sidecars]

[ Oh great, an honest to God judge. Bucky's expression obviously sours at the intel. He's already been in a few scrapes with the law as it is. ]

No. Apple pie's more Steve territory.

[ What with that wholesome all-American attitude. ]

So were you a judge before your spill into this place?

[ Yeah, he's not letting go of this. He's got to know Steve's roommates aren't suspicious or seedy. ]

[mcgill]

Steve doesn't have a monopoly on all things patriotic, y'know.

[Jimmy can already see where this is going: He's going to say he was a public defender, and Bucky's panties are going to twist themselves even further up his butt.

He's ready.]

Before I showed up here, I worked as a public defender for the city of Albuquerque.

[sidecars]

Actually, I think he does. I think it was in his contract... All patriotic ideas, objects, etc. will henceforth be monopolized by one Captain America. Yep.

[ You bet they are! His ass is literally about to eat the remains of his Captain America panties right now. The disgusted noise that comes out his mouth is delightful. ]

A defense attorney. In--Wait... In New Mexico. [ Thankfully he only drove straight through that place on his way to the midwest. ] God. So do you just let criminals off now that you're a judge?

[mcgill]

Think I can get a copy of that contract?

[Being that he's a lawyer, and all.

Jimmy flashes his best, most winning lawyer smile. It's gross.]

I like to see myself as pretty fair, actually. You know, the opposite of what you're being right now.

OH FUCKING SNAP

[sidecars]

It's classified and shit. Real hush-hush stuff.

[ Don't try and ask for evidence when he's bullshitting, pal! That's just rude!! ]

I'm fair! [ Wow, that came out much too defensive and way too high and octave. Bring it down, Barnes. ] I just prefer being realistic. Works out a lot better than tryin' to be fair all the time.

[ So he expects the same of you and everyone else in his vicinity. ]