maskormenacelogs | so you feel entitled to a sense of control

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so you feel entitled to a sense of control

WHO: Alfie Solomons and Josuke Higashikata
WHERE: Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Bright and early, April 11th
WHAT: Probably a lot of regret
WARNINGS: TBD

[Still a little sore from having been hung up on the day before, Josuke makes good on his word when the sun rises. After confirming his probationer's address, the Porter in Heropa's outpost takes him to Maurtia Falls where, thankfully very familiar with the city, he's able to make his way to Alfie Solomons' home without much difficulty. Being registered doesn't mean the whole of his trip is short, though, especially not with his attention half divided between the task at hand and perusing the network for Alfie's most recent activity. He's not about to go into today as blindly as he did the phone call from last night!

And what he learns is...that the other man doesn't always seem to be as much of an ass as he was the night before. By the time stores are opening up shop for the day, Josuke's read enough to think maybe he and this fella just got off on the wrong foot. And if Alfie's interest in the Porter is really all about wanting to go home...hell, Josuke can understand why he put up such a fight about the damn thing.

Doesn't mean he's willing to bend over backwards and make all kinds of concessions, of course. But it does mean he'll make a small detour on the way to Alfie's house that morning to pick up a couple of steaming hot coffees, fixings on the side. Because staying in's not on the docket this morning. Provided he doesn't get the door slammed in his face.

When he arrives, not at all dressed in his typical over the top fashion, opting instead for a dark burgundy blazer, white button down, and dark jeans, he gives the door a solid rap before taking a step back, putting himself in proper view of the little peephole.]

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It's my turn for a question, isn't it? Two in a row, I think. Yeah.

Tell me how you like it here.

Huh, I guess it is...

[His lips purse in thought, and then he shakes his head.]

I've been here almost two and a half years now. There's shit I hate, but things I've grown to really like, too. I'll be honest...I'm not facing any more or less danger here than I was back home. There was always something going on in Morioh, always some asshole to worry about stopping. And it helps...knowing that home is waiting for me. That I'll get to go right back to the moment when I left. Let's me live life here as freely and fully as I wanna, to really make the most of it. So...I guess I'm happy.

Are you attached to your life here? Would you wanna stay?

Yeah. For as long as I can.

[His answer comes quickly, and is spoken straight from the heart. He knows one day he'll have to leave, but he's made a life for himself here. He's fallen in love, gotten engaged, made friends and enemies and started a career...

He doesn't want to leave that behind. Not before he absolutely has to. And hopefully not without being able to say goodbye to those who matter most when the time comes. Somehow. He'll find a way.]

Now, my turn. Same question I asked. What kinda criminal gang?

We rob banks.

[He deadpans, but then actually grins.]

No, I'm teasing. No. We make and sell rum. We watch over our territory; we protect those who pay us to.

[It's pretty vague, but he doesn't plan on going into any real detail.]

[It doesn't seem like such a terrible thing, making and selling alcohol. Even if it was still breaking the law where Alfie's from, there are worse crimes a man can engage in.

Sure, paid protection could mean protecting awful people, too. But without knowing more about the man, Josuke can't and won't judge.

He nods, seeming just to accept the answer for what it is.]

How'd you get into that sorta business?

Family business. My dad headed the gang before I did.

What's the worst crime you've seen, as a police officer?

Makes sense. Seems like that kinda thing, an art that'd be passed down.

[He pauses at a crosswalk and shakes his head.]

I'm not an officer, not yet. Just a cadet. And I've seen a lot worse as a regular citizen. Murder, brainwashing, torture, identity theft, chemically induced hysteria...list goes on. Saw a lot of it back home, and being here's just expanded on it.

[He glances to the side.]

Why're you curious about that?

That'll count as a question from you, and I've still got one more. I'm keeping score.

[He switches over to using his cane, now that they've been walking for a few minutes.]

Best and worst things that've happened to you here?

[Ordinarily, Josuke's response to something like that would be to reply that he has nothing to hide, but Alfie's question this time around is the equivalent of ripping off a band-aid that's been placed over a wound that hasn't, and may never, fully heal.]

Best thing's meeting family I would have never got the chance to meet back home. Relatives long gone, or from far into the future. That opportunity's one I'm grateful for every day, even if most of them have left again.

[But the worst thing...

Josuke doesn't like thinking about the worst thing. He doesn't like remembering it. Because it's not something that happened to him so much as something he was forced into doing — and to someone he loves, no less. He can't undo that. He can't fix it. He just...has to live with it. And live with it every single day, too. It hasn't been easy. And the only reason he hasn't been crippled by the fact is because that person is forgiving. And because he's grown from that time, become stronger...taken measures so that the incident will never, ever repeat itself. He'd sooner throw himself into traffic than allow it to happen again.]

...worst is that I took a life.

[It hadn't been his fault at the time. Pan's spell had fallen over him, and he hadn't been in control. But Josuke doesn't make excuses for what he did. The fact remains: he killed a person.

Worse, he killed the woman he's now engaged to.

...how fucked up is that?]

[Interesting. Alfie keeps walking, but he gives Josuke a glance.]

Purposefully or accidentally?

[Realizing Alfie's kept walking, Josuke quickens his pace to catch back up before settling in next to him. His hands find his pockets to keep from fidgeting, but there's nothing he can really do to stop the way he chews his lower lip when debating his next answer.

Killing Hazel had been...accidentally on purpose? He remembers it, remembers his hands being wrapped around her throat, his Stand attacking her until she'd cut him off from being able to use that ability, remembers how angry that had made him, and how hollow he'd felt being disconnected from it at all. But what was worse was the way she hadn't really fought back. She hadn't struck him or clawed or kicked or screamed. She'd just begged him to try and come back to his senses. To no avail.

At the time...he'd felt like he was defending Pan. Had believed Pan had saved his life. But there were glimpses of reality that showed themselves to him in the moments leading up to Hazel's death. Feelings he hadn't been able to understand, and in the ensuing confusion, he'd just felt more angry and more panicked.

He hadn't been happy when the life in her eyes finally faded. He didn't feel proud having turned her undead body into a true corpse. He hadn't felt anything except scared and angry and conflicted, all feelings that were amplified when the spell was finally broken and Neverland disappeared.

So how does he answer Alfie's question? He shakes his head and says quietly...]

...I don't really know. Sorry.

You don't remember it well, then. Is that right?

No.

[He takes a deep, steadying breath.]

I remember it too well. But it...

[He trails off and then shoots a sideways glance at the other man.]

...oi, aren't you supposed to answer my question now?

Mm-- what as it, again? Why am I curious? Right. Well - it stands to reason that I'd be interested in knowing whether you're used to dealing with my sort of criminal. Isn't that right?

I guess. But I don't really know what kind of criminal you are. You tell me all you did was make rum and get paid to be muscle back home, but you're in this position because of allegations saying you robbed a bank.

So...what is the worst crime you've committed? You think it's more than I can handle?

[Because Josuke's willing to bet that it's not. If he's got anything going for him, it's an insane ability to endure.]

I said that was what I did. I never said it was all I did, mate. I've murdered men.

[Men? That's specific. Could also be meaningless, but given the era Alfie's from, Josuke's inclined to think he means exactly what he said. As in, not women.

Doesn't make it any more pleasant a pill to swallow, though. So he asks...]

Why?

[And it sounds like there'll be a followup to that, too.]

Business. Men who tried to cheat me, men who overstepped their bounds, men who just needed to be fucking got rid of.

[Here it is. Here's the real question.]

You enjoy it?

[Because if there's one thing he can't forgive, it's those tho take pleasure in the misery and suffering of others. No matter how much they may have deserved their comeuppance.]

[ Alfie smiles. ]

My turn, first.

Tell me about this family of yours.

Fine.

[There's a flash of annoyance behind Josuke's blue eyes, but he plays along. Might be a cheat once in a while, when what's at stake is meaningless and the fun he's having is without harm, but this discussion he's having with Alfie doesn't feel like either of those things, and lying would only set him back.]

My old man, Joseph. My nephew, Jotaro, and my niece, Jolyne. They were all here. Old man wasn't quite as old as I remembered him, though. Porter brought him here when he was about my age, so that was...a bit strange. There was also my great grandfather's adopted brother, and his adopted brother's son: Dio and Giorno. And my great grandfather, himself, Jonathan.

[He doesn't mention Diego, because honestly, he's not certain how an alternate universe Dio relates to them at all, and he hadn't been here very long. He also doesn't mention Caeser, not because he wasn't close to the family, but because he just...wasn't someone Josuke had ever gotten to know very well, and wasn't really sure he liked, despite trying to for his old man's sake. It was complicated.]

Only three still here are Jonathan, Jotaro, and Dio, and the latter two left for a while before returning recently.

[Alfie listens without interruption. The answer is very telling, he thinks - Josuke is either a rule-follower to the letter, or else he has a very strong desire to keep his word, no matter what. Why else would he go into such detail with him?]

I think I met Jonathan, once. It was during the blackout; we were both in the hospital.

[The truth is more complicated. Josuke is young, but he has a strong sense of honor. He recognizes that some rules are important, but knows that it's just as important sometimes to break them, particularly if it means protecting people from great harm.

He very much tries to keep his word, even if he hasn't explicitly promised anything. And in this instance...he knows his family. They are, all of them, incredibly strong people. Probably even stronger than him. He doesn't believe for a second that there's anything Alfie could do to hurt any of them, especially not with the way they all constantly look out for one another. He trusts them. Absolutely.

Still, there is definitely a sharpness to his gaze when Alfie says he knows Jonathan. Of everyone, his great grandfather is probably the one he'd worry the most about...]

He was there helping people, wasn't he? Maintaining power.

[With the Ripple. Just like him to do something like that...and for a moment, Josuke smiles fondly. There is no one more pure and good in all this world or any other in his opinion. In his old man's absence, Jonathan has become like a second father to him.]

What were you doing there? [A pause, and then that hardness returns again, lightning quick.] Answer my other question first, though.

The one about hurting people. Mm.

Sometimes it's a necessity, and that can be fucking grim. And sometimes, other times, it is very fucking satisfying. But you're asking if I'm sadistic, aren't you?

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