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maskormenacelogs2017-04-04 01:41 pm
substrategist) wrote in maskormenacelogs2017-04-04 01:41 pm
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WHO: Sakuma & Open
WHERE: Heropa and Nonah
WHEN: All of April (except the 1st)
WHAT: Catch-all for the month
WARNINGS: TBD
NOTES: Brackets or prose, I'll match whatever you prefer. Closed starters in comments. Open prompts below the cut. Don't see a prompt that works for you? Feel free to write your own or hit me up so we can plot something specific together!
a. AFTER SCHOOL IS OVER
LATE AFTERNOON & EARLY EVENING DURING THE WEEK IN NONAH
b. SHOOT FOR YOUR GOALS
THROUGHOUT THE WEEK AND BEFORE DARK AROUND HEROPA
c. OUT OF THE CONCRETE JUNGLE AND INTO THE ZOO
ANYTIME DURING THE DAY ON THE WEEKEND IN EITHER HEROPA OR NONAH
WHERE: Heropa and Nonah
WHEN: All of April (except the 1st)
WHAT: Catch-all for the month
WARNINGS: TBD
NOTES: Brackets or prose, I'll match whatever you prefer. Closed starters in comments. Open prompts below the cut. Don't see a prompt that works for you? Feel free to write your own or hit me up so we can plot something specific together!
a. AFTER SCHOOL IS OVER
LATE AFTERNOON & EARLY EVENING DURING THE WEEK IN NONAH
[The irony of being exPorted for the entire duration of 'April Fool's Day' hadn't eluded Sakuma, but to say he found any amusement at all in the timing would have been a gross miscalculation of his patience. He recognized that he was fortunate not to have been absent any longer than he already was, and that he was more fortunate still to have made his way back to his friends' sides at all, but knowing the undue stress his disappearance would have caused both Kidou and Genda...
Well, he didn't feel very lucky. Instead, even though there was nothing he could do to change the past and there'd been no way he could have stopped the Porter from playing its tricks, he felt guilty. Like, somehow, he'd let down the two people who mattered most to him here in this world or even back home. They didn't see it that way, of course. Neither one would have ever blamed him for something that only the AI in the Porter could control, but it was a weight Sakuma nevertheless carried around with him the entire first day back. And yet, that same weight allowed him to appreciate the silver linings that miraculously still existed.
Having been Ported out on the weekend, he was given plenty of time to mentally readjust so that, by the time Monday rolled back around, he was no longer distracted at school and seemed, outwardly at least, as if everything was fine.
Which wasn't to say that his disappearance hadn't changed anything, because it had, but it was surprising to him that none of the ways that things were different were actually bad. They were simply...ways that he had to get used to, which seemed a common enough experience among imPorts, and one they each had to come to terms with on their own. And his method of accomplishing that was to keep busy and find ways to be productive in his spare time.
When he wasn't at school, working, or practicing his soccer, he had a brand new ability to get a handle on, and he couldn't think of a more discreet way to practice using it, or a better time, than on his way to the Porter in Nonah after school had finally let out.
He was cautious as he followed different people around, focused on keeping his distance and testing his range — perhaps even too focused. For he seemed almost to have forgotten that as an imPort, and as someone who's appearance wasn't 'ordinary' by any means, he still stood out more than he would have liked...]
b. SHOOT FOR YOUR GOALS
THROUGHOUT THE WEEK AND BEFORE DARK AROUND HEROPA
[For all the ways in which this world was awful, one of the most glaring and intolerable was its idea of soccer. The sport, insofar as Sakuma knew it, was teeming with life and energy, and while the soccer that people played here wasn't dead, it also wasn't alive in the same way, either. He was able to play with his peers at school, but he was constantly reminded of the differences in the levels of their abilities.
He had to be mindful of the strength of his kicks and, perhaps worst of all, he couldn't even use any hissatsu. The advantage his techniques would give him wouldn't be fair to the other players, for one. And for another, he didn't want to endanger anybody or ruin what fun everyone else found in such a simple activity.
Being forced to hold back wasn't simple, however. Especially when Sakuma remembered that he'd been about to take on the world with his team in the FFI tournament. Curricular soccer wasn't just a huge step down from that, it was a gigantic plummet into a pit that seemed bottomless, and not one he was convinced there was a way out of, either. At least, not as long as he remained here in this world. So few people from home were here, not even enough to make up half a team. But, depressing as that was, it wasn't any reason to let himself wither. Being unable to play his soccer at school didn't mean he couldn't play at all, or that he couldn't practice. And after the invasion of anachronisms last month, Sakuma realized now more than ever how important it would be to keep his skills sharp.
There were plenty of places to practice around Heropa, especially with its weather so much warmer than Nonah's had ever been. And so, when Sakuma couldn't be found in his own backyard at Heropa 032, he'd take to the park or to empty parking lots behind large plazas to practice individual skill and control, kicking around a ball summoned by a sound most people wouldn't ever expect to hear in the heart of Florida.]
c. OUT OF THE CONCRETE JUNGLE AND INTO THE ZOO
ANYTIME DURING THE DAY ON THE WEEKEND IN EITHER HEROPA OR NONAH
[Every now and again Sakuma behaved the way a teenage boy was expected, and while he never completely forgot about the things that worried him, he found it easier to give himself a temporary reprieve from worldly concerns when he visited the zoo. There, surrounded more by animals than people, or at least capable of tuning out the human ambiance, he seemed infinitely more at ease.
Unsurprisingly, he spent most of his time watching the penguins either from the indoor viewing area where their underwater antics could be watched more closely, or from a platform outside that allowed spectators to better take in the whole of the group as they waddled around or slid about on their bellies. When he wasn't there, however, he could be found observing any number of the sea life performances, contentedly watching puffins swim, polar bears play, or seeing precisely why everyone was making such a big fuss over watching animated movies on the new 4D theater.
He absolutely could not be found browsing through everything penguin that filled the souvenir shop, from mugs to postcards, key chains to hats, and t-shirts to plush stuffed animals.
...except he could totally be found there, quietly pondering to himself how much or how little he could afford to buy. At least, when he thought nobody he knew might be looking!]
you're not wrong. but apparently there *are* some.
Making it all the more disconcerting when she admits quietly that, even if she wasn't happy working here, she would still do as she was told.
It makes sense to him in some ways. Sakuma agrees that it's wise to avoid drawing attention to themselves. Any more than they already do being imPorts, at least. But condemning themselves to lives of unhappiness doesn't seem like it's very fair, either. They have rights, even if they aren't technically citizens of this country or even people belonging in this world.]
It's good that you like what you do, then. But if you didn't, you could probably change jobs without them caring very much.
[He glances sidelong at her.]
Unless...do you have reason to believe differently?
i'm both glad and a little concerned tbh
['jobs' were different on Homeworld. an assignment from the diamonds was the handing down of an iron will, as unbreakable as the gems who commanded it themselves. their power was what had forced her to earth to begin with, in addition to her unhappy return. to go against a task was complete betrayal.
the jobs they were assigned here bore too many similarities for Lapis to ignore. they'd been given directly from the authority which controlled the nanites in their bloodstreams, the things capable of tearing away the abilities that might empower them to resist at a moment's notice. who could say that they wouldn't take similar offense to simply abandoning their designated roles? it wasn't a risk that Lapis was willing to take.]
...I don't really have anything else I'd rather be doing anyway, so it doesn't really matter.
i've come to expect this from the internet
Lapis isn't the only one who feels threatened by the similarities that exist between the world she comes from and this one. Sakuma has been used before by someone he should have been able to trust, a man in a position of power who abused both things and endangered not only his life, but the lives of his friends and countless other people. And when Kidou and everyone else from Teikoku had defied Kageyama, he didn't give up and disappear. That man had come back...and he threatened to destroy everything they'd worked so hard to achieve. He hadn't even needed to lift a finger this time. He'd used what he knew about them against them...and they'd played right into his trap.
As he directs his attention back towards the sea lions, his hands tighten on the guardrail, mouth compressing into a frustrated and fine line. He came here to relax, but nothing about his posture now suggests peace of mind.
Kidou and Genda had both put in requests to move. And now so had he. Had they just painted targets on their backs?]
i mean, yeah, but guys.....
the sea lions chase little fish made out of water through their enclosure, happy to play with Lapis' idle use of her powers while she sits in the middle of stormy thoughts. it's always such a painfully difficult thing for her to consider, the way her very being seemed to tear at itself. she hated to be limited, used, thrown away like something expendable yet again. at the same time, she could recognize that she was outmatched here. the government itself was as frightening as a pack of paper dolls, but that nullification...it made them very dangerous.
she could outrun them, without question. but Lapis doesn't know if she really wants to run anymore.
expressing empathy for anyone aside from Steven is a struggle that she still hasn't overcome; even when she has the will, it never seems to come easily to her. the watery fish twist and spin in the air some more, and still she remains silent.
when she does speak, her words are measured and her gaze remains steadfastly on the exhibit.]
They think they have a lot more control than they really do. That's going to ruin them eventually.
let them live that fantasy
Was it worth it, doing nothing and hoping in silence for the big bad to falter?
If a penguin did that before a sea lion, gave up retreating and simply prayed the larger beast would slip through thin ice and lose his chance at lunch, he'd be sorely disappointed to find himself caught in the predator's jaws.
He takes a breath, shoulders relaxing, but he still doesn't tear his gaze away from the active habitat below.]
If they're paying attention to the changes, they're paying attention to what remains the same, too.
[After all, that was how successful hunters operated. Failing to understand what made their prey stay as much as what made them scurry would significantly decrease their chances at filling their bellies with their next meal.
He wouldn't be like Lapis. He couldn't just do nothing. None of Teikoku could. They knew what staying their hand would mean better than anyone. But if Lapis was content to keep on doing as she was, parading as 'still water' for lack of a better term, that was her prerogative. He'll fight the good fight every way he knows how...he just won't tell her that.]
this is no longer fantasy
[and that's what the government would do if it continued to ignore those who gave off the appearance of ducking under the radar. to rely on those people was foolish, whatever they might do to give the impression otherwise. they were here and theoretically usable, yes - but in remaining still they'd prompted the government to hold its place as well.
that was how she'd betrayed Homeworld, locked Jasper away for all eternity. stay the course until the world forgot just how frightening she could be when roused.]
You only get one chance.
[after all this time, Lapis could no longer say that she didn't feel the way that Steven had on that ship. but she knew that there would only be one moment for that - and to waste it simply to fulfill one's restless sense of justice was almost more appalling than true apathy.]
embrace the reality, then
Meaning that Lapis' statement actually resonates with him quite strongly. He would keep fighting, but he wouldn't do so recklessly. To do so would only further jeopardize his friends' well-being and his own. Careless wasn't something that he could afford to be any more than he could afford to be completely idle.
Finally, he tilts his head to the side again to regard Lapis.]
Are you waiting for that chance to come to you?
i, rolen kishibe, refuse
[it's a sign that Lapis has been mired in her own thoughts for too long that the assertion doesn't rise as readily as it usually did. nothing but sadness could come from wondering if her perspective on this world had changed - it was as pointless as trying to turn back time until the Homeworld of her past returned.]
This place is just extra time.
[what she felt in the end really didn't matter. Malachite was her future, and there was nothing that could ever change that.]
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I think it matters. What we do...or don't do. It effects more than just us.
[If they disappeared tomorrow, there's still a chance their presence here will have made an impact. And then, there's always those who are left behind. They remember.]
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it always came down to that, didn't it? the only thing that people could ever do on earth was destroy, was ruin. how many times had she thrown herself bare for the sake of a tentative bond, only to have that wobbly contentment snatched from her as well? it was as if the very planet they walked on fed off her sorrow.
she hated it. hated that this was the power which Steven and so many other friends seemed to draw from, the one thing which she herself could never seem to hold onto. if the only effect a person's actions could have on another was to inflict more pain, was it really worth striving for..?
why did she bother to continue reaching out, when all she had to offer was bitterness?]
This planet will never change. There's nothing that anyone can ever do about that.
[her voice is steady, but there's enough bile in Lapis' voice to chew through the entire enclosure's fence. of all the things which she found herself newly uncertain of, this wasn't one of them.]
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It sounds to him like Lapis is not only tired of fighting, but tired of failing, too. And he knows all about that. Knows that helplessness is completely debilitating. He's experienced that same bitterness before, felt it well up inside like a toxic mass, thick and heavy, and seemingly inescapable as it consumes from the inside out.
But the thing is...]
That isn't any reason not to try.
[Even if trying couldn't halt the inevitable downward spiral, if it could only act as a minor interruption, that was still better than nothing at all. That brief glimmer of hope, of happiness. Otherwise, what was even the point of carrying on?
Existing to be miserable? Existing to complain?
These aren't things Sakuma can do. They're not productive. So he must try. And besides...
It's what Kidou would do.]
i'm sorry
we have to fight because we can't win.
she hears Steven's voice echoing in her head, those same words over and over, joined with the same sentiment she's heard spill from so many lost friends' mouths before. it always struck her in some far-off corner of herself that she could never place, but after all the failures she's endured...she can't help but think that the time the blow may have shattered something.
her hands slam down onto the rail, forceful despite their lack of physical power, and she shifts to stare Sakuma head-on. her shoulders are hiked up to her ears and there's something angry and wounded in her posture, almost despite herself.]
Saying that over and over isn't going to make it true!
[it's been so long since her voice had trembled with such raw emotion. the cry nearly strips the skin from her throat when she finally lets it out, she feels, as if she were hurling some horribly thorny thing away from herself.]
i'm not c:
Instead of jumping out of his skin, Sakuma turns to meet her gaze. He is tense, because these emotions of hers remind her of how he felt himself once, and because he knows he cannot offer her what Kidou offered him. There is no unconditional bond of friendship and trust between them to pull Lapis back from whatever edge she's standing on, and anything he says may only further aggravate her and make things worse.
Yet...it's as he said. Fear of failure isn't a good reason not to try.]
Lazuli-san.
[The contrast of his calm and even voice is practically palpable compared to the harshness of her own.]
Why are you upset?
i'm sure you will be later
Everyone is always telling me that, like it's supposed to flip some kind of magic switch just like that. It doesn't change anything!
[she wants so terribly to lash out at something, but even at her most tempestuous she retains common sense - there's nothing here that's at fault for the way she feels, no destruction that would fill this angry hole clawing through her chest. it was always that way, and always the most frustrating part of these broken moments. nothing she could do would ever help herself.
even so, Lapis' posture reads trembling and failed restraint. this is something that she's allowed to bubble within for longer than even she can tell, and now that it's risen to the surface she's can't stop the flood of rage pouring from her mouth.]
Losing is losing! You can say whatever lies you need to be able to swallow it, but don't pretend that it's anything else.
[a prison could be tolerable if you were in control of its parameters; this was something which Lapis knew better than anyone else. but to allow those illusions to spread into reality and injure someone...it was unacceptable.]
nope never
Losing is unsightly. Kageyama's voice, deep and bitter, will never be one he'll forget, and it's there again, spilling lessons into his subconscious like oil from a tanker into the ocean. Polluting everything.
There was a time when he'd believed in their ex-commander's ways, when he'd blindly followed that man for the sake of power, of being the best and winning, but those times are behind him now. His eyes were opened after enduring a very painful lesson, something else he'll never forget...
Contrary to popular belief, there is value in losing. Victories aren't quite the same when you haven't tasted defeat, when you don't know precisely the value of the things you're fighting for.]
Winning isn't everything. [Much as he likes to win, it's just not.] You don't have to believe that, but I do.
[Which is part of what makes her reaction so baffling. He isn't trying to force her into adopting his way of thinking, only accepting that he is firmly rooted in his own beliefs. Which doesn't affect her at all, or at least...it shouldn't. So why the anger? He really wants to know.]
i am gonna link this convo to you later whenever you're crying
[hours from now Lapis will likely look back on this outburst with something akin to regret - Sakuma was skittish, after all, and she'd been so very thoughtful about trying not to rattle him. but at present all she sees is the mantra that's been thrown in her face to no effect regardless of how hard she's worked to follow it.
victors could talk like that. people who had managed to protect the things which were dear to them, or hadn't lived long enough to see them taken. she feels as if she's adrift at sea during a storm, screaming at a ship which refuses to even acknowledge her. why couldn't anyone understand?]
ocean not salty enough for you?
[Soccer is more than just a game where he comes from. It's a way of life, an activity shared between friends and teammates, an experience he has been able to bond with others through. Being the best at it was so important to him once that he'd been willing to throw away his ability to ever play again, and even his life if that's what it took to stand at the top.
But winning back then would have meant losing so much more. It would have meant losing the sport he loves most, losing Genda, and losing Kidou. The friends' lives he cherished so much would have been ruined forever if not lost altogether.
He's glad Shin Teikoku fell apart and failed before irreparable damage could have been done to Raimon. And because he lost, he was able to become stronger. He'd learned what true friendship was, and how to better support his friends, whether he could be on their team with them or not.
Those things mattered. Still matter, even.
But Lapis...Sakuma gets the feeling she has been adrift on a sea of anger and loss for a long time. It's not his concern. She isn't his friend or responsibility, she isn't even someone he finds that he can trust. And yet...
He sighs, turning to look back at the sea lions.]
Winning and losing aren't mutually exclusive. One person's victory is another person's defeat. And you...have lost a lot, haven't you, Lazuli-san?
wieliczka isn't salty enough to contain me
There's nothing left.
[just how true that statement is never ceases to amaze her. even when she'd finally found something in the wreckage of her life that she truly cared about, that she wanted to protect, that had been stolen away as easily as five thousand years of her life.
yes, she'd managed to keep Jasper (and Homeworld, by extension) away from Steven through her own actions. but it was that same decision which guaranteed she would never see him again - that, in all likelihood, she would never see herself again. there was nothing but that anger and hatred she'd tentatively wanted to forge past, set in an eternal loop, coursing through her mind until there was no Lapis left at all.
one person's victory is another person's defeat. it seemed that all of Lapis' victories were her own defeats as well.]
well damn...
He wonders if all Lapis' losses have had the same effect on her. Probably, the answer is yes, but whereas in his case he'd had Kidou return to pull him back from the edge, Lapis seemed rather alone here. Or at least, Sakuma hadn't heard tell of their being any other gems, and he hadn't heard her mention having any close friends.
And then there'd been the fact that, for a short while, they were the only two living in that house together. Maybe she was still alone...
He frowns, gazing sidelong at her before finally pulling away from the rail and slipping his hands into his pockets. He won't offer any empty platitudes. Just a calm...]
When is your shift over?
you're playing way out of your league here
at present she also has to face the cumbersome task of pulling her mind away from its more unpleasant corners and return to the mundane in addition to a complete lack of consistent timekeeping. Lapis' head tilts gently to the side, her pith helmet sliding along with it, as she runs through what she's already accomplished today.]
I leave after the next show, I think.
[that at least she knows isn't too far off. when Lapis has stadium duty she's surprisingly punctual - likely for the sea lions' sake.]
okay but! i'm still in control here. you can't link the thread if it doesn't exist!
I'll stay and watch.
[He's curious to see her interact more with the sea lions, but it would also be good to have the extra time to think and weigh the pros and cons of continuing to socialize with her, not to mention what socializing with her could even stand to offer either one of them.]
with photoshop anything is possible
[Lapis really doesn't have any concept of 'charging admission', but from the practiced response she gives it's obvious that this is a question she's had to answer more than a few times. it's astounding what zoogoers think people in pith helmets ought to just know, even when said person is blue.
another piece of experience floats to the front of her mind, and after a moment or two of silence she tentatively tacks an addition onto her reply.]
...you probably shouldn't sit too close to the front, though.
i don't believe in photoshop! ...or does that only work with fairies?
For all that Sakuma can appreciate sea lions from a distance (in particular, when they're within an enclosure that separates them from his favorite animals), he has too great an affinity for penguins to ever want to get too near their natural predators. And while these sea lions aren't given the same opportunity to hunt as their wild counterparts, Sakuma would nevertheless prefer not to take any chances.
He'd also prefer not to get splashed, which he presumes is the real reason behind Lapis' warning. Which is actually...almost nice of her? Maybe? In any case, it's a gesture Sakuma appreciates, especially considering the severity of their conversation a few minutes earlier. He thinks, even if the topic was one that stung, she isn't angry with him about it. And that's a relief.]
Thanks. I won't.
[For several cautionary reasons, but also because he'll be able to see more from a distance. And perhaps learn more about her, too.]
cottingley would tell you that the two aren't mutually exclusive
[these words are simultaneously more severe and more generalized, rather than prompted by anything Sakuma himself has done. it's not an issue that Lapis has encountered exceedingly often, perhaps thanks to her own unique method of dealing with it, but it's enough of an occurrence that she feels the need to put the kibosh on it preemptively.
he already seemed to struggle with basic concepts like working doors. it'd be foolish of her to assume that he'd automatically know what was and wasn't a trash receptacle, too.]
so photoshop is dead and i win, got it
[Dammit, Lapis. He'd been marginally impressed with the way things were going. Is this what he gets for thinking positively of you for even half a second?
Still, it's probably not something she's saying because she thinks that he'd be inclined to litter, and more something that's become customary for her to say due to other peoples' bad habits. Which, when Sakuma thinks about it, is a lot more upsetting than anything she's said so far. What was wrong with people where they thought it was okay to throw anything into an animal's habitat?
Someone ought to throw them out.]
When does the next show begin?
tell that to arthur conan doyle
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i like how it was a DIFFERENT thread that got me feelsy
karma works out like that, always sneaking up on you
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i'm amazed at how you can always time these big spurts for right when i'm in the shower
so am i tbh
all these hidden talents of your finally coming to the surface