OPEN LOG

[burlyboy]

WHO: MAGNUS BURNSIDES and YOU
WHERE: ALL OVER.
WHEN: Through April!
WHAT: Magnus Burnsides and the TRIP TO THE ANIMAL SHELTER, the SEARCH FOR GOOD WOOD and the FAILED JOB SEARCH.
WARNINGS: Magnificent WILDCARD OPTION is available! Want to set something else up? Just leave a prompt here, or PM me/plurk me @ wisdombitch and I'll set something right up for you guys.



A - THE TRIP TO THE ANIMAL SHELTER

[ After one trip too many to the dog park without a dog of his own, one of the dog owners (who owns the most delightful shih tzu that Magnus ever did see) gently suggested to Magnus that if he loves dogs so much, then maybe it's time for a visit to the shelter. When he had said, a bit woefully, that he doesn't know if he'll be ported out, the owner said that these dogs are homeless anyway, and, well, Magnus didn't try too hard to argue that point.

That said, he was off to the animal shelter. If you happen to be at the shelter, you may see Magnus, towering above the poor attendant showing him around, frozen in front of a line of dogs in cages. Magnus is a rough looking dude, plenty hairy and scarred, but he seems to be having a difficult time blinking back tears. ] All of them need homes? [ He questions, a little querulously. ] But they're all so good! Can I take them all?

[ Or, perhaps, you meet him out at the nearby park, with a bernese mountain dog and a chihuahua in tow. Upon discovering that Magnus was having a hard time choosing, the attendant told him to take the two that tugged at his heartstrings the most for a walk, see if there was one that he bonded with more.

This was a mistake. Instead, you may find Magnus lying in the grass, a chihuahua standing on top of his neck and a bernese mountain dog flopped on the rest of him, his own expression torn between agony and delight. ] This isn't going to work. I love them both.

B - THE SEARCH FOR GOOD WOOD (NO NOT THAT KIND)

[ In the absence of a job - or people - that simulate Magnus as much as he needs to be, he's taken to his oldest and truest love to keep him busy: carving. But he doesn't have the cash to go out and buy a whole slew of some carving wood, so instead, he's taken to the wilderness to explore his options. Axe slung across his back, you may see him wading waist-deep into water to snag an awfully nice looking piece of aerated wood, hacking down particularly large branches off of the trees that line the parks, or just scavenging off the ground.

If this makeshift lumberjack isn't enough to comment on, he might look over at you, stretching his back out with a crack and hold up a hunk of wood he's particularly pleased with, saying, ] Pretty good stuff, right?

C - THE SEARCH FOR A JOB

[ Or maybe you're not so into the whole great outdoors side of things! In that case, you may see Magnus storming your local coffeeshops, pubs and bars, eyeing the bulletin boards at the front of every establishment a little apprehensively. He's apt to simply grab any paper that catches his fancy, not bothering to rip off the little tab with a phone number on it, but he never looks particularly happy about it.

Between the HELP WANTED and SELLING signs, he's not seeing much in the way of people hiring. Every now and then, someone may hear him remark, ] They don't tell you much on these things, do they? Just fun work, easy money! That doesn't tell me anything!

[ About half of what he has are just scams, but hell, he just wants to get out of his current line of work. ]

WILDCARD

[ Want something? Let me know or write one yourself! xoxoxo ]

Comments

a, at the shelter

[helpline]

[ The Doctor has no idea how the fuck to feed a possum. So obviously asking the people at the animal shelter is the best idea, right? Right. A possum is an animal! It's an animal shelter! They'd know how to take care of things!

Well apparently 'animal shelter' is a bit of a misnomer. They really should call the building 'the dogs and cats and occasional bird shelter' since APPARENTLY nobody knows the best sort of feeding strategy for a possum. The helpful worker the Doctor talked with suggested googling it which yeah, does make sense, but he's always a fan of bothering actual people over bothering actual computers. It seems Murray gets pizza crusts for another day.

The Doctor's headed down a hallway to try and leave the shelter when he spots Magnus making puppy dog eyes at...well, at the puppy dogs. Huh, that expression makes a lot more sense now. Walking up, he gives the much bulkier man a nod. ]

Dunno if your yard's big enough for all of them. Maybe one or two, though.

[burlyboy]

But they all need homes! I don't understand why they're all here in the first place, [ Magnus says, the true words of a dog lover who assumes that everyone else loves dogs as much as he does, and would probably own six or seven each. He knows he can't adopt six or seven - no room, his roommates would be real mad - but if he had his own place? Oh, the possibilities he'd have.

He sniffs loudly for someone who is definitely not getting weepy. ]

I don't know how I'm supposed to choose. Hey, why don't you take some? That's why you're here, right, Doc?

[helpline]

Aside from me, I house three hermit crabs, one tarantula, one MK, and one possum. I think Heropa 11's at full holding capacity.

[ There are like three open rooms. Still, the Doctor casually ignores the fact that Magnus is totally not about to cry, don't mind him, he actually won't bring it up later because unlike the rest of the Adventure Zone crew, he can kind of be a decent person. ]

Besides, the dog and the possum would probably get into a fight.

[burlyboy]

[ If the Doctor got a big enough dog, Magnus thinks, the dog would probably hold his own, but that's a reasonable enough excuse for not getting a dog. As long as some animals are being taken care of, that's all right, then.

Except for the whole tarantula thing, but Magnus just makes a quiet note to himself not ever, ever visit the Doctor in his home, because nooooooo thank you. ]

I guess so. Uh, what's with the zoo? Those aren't your, uh, usual pets, the fact that I don't know what an MK is aside!

[ He's getting used to not getting the gist of half of what the Doctor says anyway. ]

A

[abandon_hope]

[ Gosh, dogs. Animals don't usually like Nico, but dogs seem to be the exception, happily. At least the ones that are more cerebus-like. He spots the bernese mountain dog before he even spots Magnus, leaning down to pet the beast happily.

And then he spots the owner. Uh. ]

Why don't you just adopt both?

[burlyboy]

The clerk said that we're only allowed to adopt one at a time, [ Magnus says glumly before straightening up into a seated position, giving the bernese the go-ahead to bound over to Nico. He's a friendly sort and, if Nico allows it, will absolutely try to jump on the boy to slobber all over his face. ]

Although I could just take them both and never go back...

[abandon_hope]

[ Good boy. Nico gladly lets the dog slobber all over him. He even kind of smiles at the dog because of it. ]

Or you could get someone else to adopt the other one and give him to you.

B - good wood searching

[honorobble]

[It is Grey Wind who notices Magnus' presence first. The direwolf pup straightens his back and cocks its head, listening to the sound of someone.]

What is it?

[Robb hurries after the little direwolf and then he hears the sound of someone chopping wood. He blinks a couple of times until he sees the man doing it. For a moment he stands still, contemplating if he should head out to talk to him or walk on and leave him be.

And just when Robb wants to turn and focus on learning Grey Wind how to hunt the man speaks up and shows him a large chunk of wood.]

Well...it is wood, ser... [What's so special about that?] It is an admirable large bit..., I must say.

[burlyboy]

Not the size! It's just good quality. It'll make for good carving, once I figure out what I want to do with it, [ Magnus says cheerfully, then passes the wood Robb's way. ] Here, see for yourself. It's too big for you, little guy, [ he says, bending over with his hands planted firmly on his knees to address Grey Wind, ] But I think I can grab something more your size.

[ He reaches for his axe and hacks off a smaller branch, offering out for Grey Wind to take, not having yet caught on that he's not a normal dog. ]

Sorry for the late!

[honorobble]

[The cheerful tone of the man’s voice make Robb smile.]

Well, ser, you just said it yourself, is it not? [He points at the wood again.] If you wish to carve it, you should carve it. Maybe you could carve a wolf out of it!

[When Magnus tosses the wood towards Robb he catches it awkwardly and stumbles backwards while trying to hold it.]

Oh no! Ser, he is not a dog. [Yet, Grey Wind seems to remain calm, sniffing the offered branch curiously. Well, maybe Grey Wind could act like a dog.] Do not keep your hands close to his mouth. He might bite. [After he regains his balance a little he steps forward again.] He is a direwolf.

C

[maevelous]

[ Maeve had stepped out for break, dressed in full Merlotte's attire -- hair pulled back in a bun. As she makes her way into the shopping center, she leans against one of the sides of the building in order to light up a cigarette and it's at that point she hears the complaint, glancing over at Magnus. Well, well. That saves her the trouble of having to seek him out, doesn't it? ]

Oh, you're not likely to find a good job through some piece of paper, darling. It's all about who you know and word of mouth.

[ She exhales the puff of smoke away from him. ]

Fortunately for you, you know me.

[burlyboy]

Oh!

[ Magnus spins around the moment he hears Maeve speak, something almost sheepish in his demeanor as he sets his handful of papers down on a nearby concrete ledge, the edges of them flapping in the wind. He looks almost as though he'd be holding his hat in his hands right now if he had been wearing one. ]

All I can do is what I've done before. No offense for continuing to look after our agreement, ma'am, but I have a feeling Private Investigating isn't going to keep food on the table, [ he says with a chuckle before striding forward, hand stuck out for a handshake. ] Hail and well met - for real this time!

[maevelous]

[ With a shrug indicating how little she's offended: ]

Well, it wasn't as though I was going to be paying you full time. At least not initially. You have to prove your worth and value.

[ Maeve teases, sliding her hand into his to return that shake. It's really not a bad arrangement. Even if Maeve doesn't wind up keeping him on as a full time guard, perhaps something could be arranged with Merlotte's. Either way, he would be able to make some money. ]

But have you had any luck on the job front otherwise?

a.

[infomodder]

[Ah, the park. It's such a delightful place to be either dog or human. Today, trying to cope and failing miserably, Will has donned the form of a mustached schnauzer. He roams the park without collar and no one stops him. A few pats is all he allows most people; he's more interested in playing tug-of-war, or wrestling, or running around with New Friends who will remember his scent and be his buddy later on, even if their owners are totally clueless.

He spots the duo and their human early on, mouth full of some half-torn rabbit toy he was helping a poodle absolutely destroy. He noticed nothing past that, not until later. Poodle friend gone, he sat and watched long enough to realize the guy wasn't getting up any time soon.

He trots over after this. Gracelessly, without warning or preamble, he flops over in the grass as well, all fluff and paws and belly, a newcomer who seems part mimic, part "pet me, damn it."]

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus makes a sound like he's dying.

It's not a flattering way of putting it, but it's an accurate way of putting it. It's not a sound that seems like it should come out of a rough and tumble guy like Magnus, but it just wheezes out of him, as though he absolutely can't restrain himself in the face of something as fluffy and loveable as this dog.

He doesn't even know what to do with himself anymore. It's like some God out there looked down from above and said: Magnus Burnsides, lover of dogs! He who has yearned his whole life will now receive blessings in spades; I speak the truth, and the truth is that you shall be given many soft dogs to pet every day of your life. ]

Hi, buddy! Ohhhh, no, you're just perfect. You wanna tummy rub? You wanna tummy rub? Oh yes, you wanna tumbly rumbly.

[ He is not a graceful speaker, but he sure is an earnest one, and Will's getting the thorough sort of tummy rub that most dogs can only dream of. ]

[infomodder]

[Oh man. This is way better than he could have ever expected.

The blessing dog from heaven simply lays there and allows this tummy rub, swaying lazily back and forth. His jaws part so a pink pink tongue can hang out an an adorably awkward angle. Eventually, he stretches his legs up so Magnus gets a face full of doggie toe beans, lets out a big boy yawn, and ends with a snort. He is so soft and agreeable to the tumbly rumbly, he even smiles in Magnus' direction before he does anything further.

Which is just to give passing fingers a few quick licks, because people expect that. If Magnus got the impression he could just roll this dog around all day and it would be okay, he'd be right. This is better than any massage for stress relief.]

B

[ghoulking]

[ kaneki doesn't go to the wilderness to explore and be one with the nature - he is usually there to train on his own so he won't get rusty (as if that would ever happen). When he isn't jumping around like a monkey with his red tentacles, kaneki is resting near a tree while reading a book he brought along, and that's when he hears someone nearby.

Curiously, he moves towards the noise, meeting Magnus Burnsides (this is STILL the best name ever). Oh, that's the guy from the network, right? ]

I guess- what are you going to do with that?

[burlyboy]

Gonna carve it. [ Magnus says shortly, still looking extremely pleased with himself as he tosses it in the air and catches it again. ] I'm not sure into what yet, though. Maybe a cup? Or a duck? Or a cup shaped like a duck! That one might be the winner.

[ Magnus, it must be said, really loves carving ducks. He looks over at Kaneki with a grin. ]

You're the guy I talked to on the tablet of farspeech, right? [ He'll get the right name for it soon enough, but for now? It's tablet of farspeech, all the way. ] You want something carved?

[ghoulking]

[ Wood carving? Now that's a hobby Kaneki hasn't heard of ever since he arrived here, surprisingly. he never met anyone who was into that. ]

Oh- you don't have to do anything for me, thank you. [ really, kaneki doesn't want to bother him. Plus, the cup shaped like a duck seems to be the current interest, so who is Kaneki to tell Magnus to do something else? ]

What's "farspeech"?

a, in the park!

[hellosirs]

Um... Sir? Can you breathe under all those dogs? The little one looks like he might be cutting off your air supply.

[ Angus is standing on the path several feet away, staring at the literal dogpile with some definite apprehension. He isn't not a dog person, necessarily, but as a small boy with sharp self-preservation instincts, he's a little wary around dogs who are big enough to knock him over. ]

[burlyboy]

If I die, I die happy! [ Magnus shouts, and to be fair, that does seem to be the case. He's as blissful as Angus in a library. Shortly afterwards, however, he's lifting the chihuahua up off of his neck and into the air, stubby little legs kicking at nothing as if swimming in mid-air and calls out in sing-song: ] Aaaannn-guussss come say hellooooooooo. She just wants to say hi!

[ The chihuahua gives no indication of wanting to say hello (she looks more puzzled than anything), but Magnus doesn't seem to pay that any mind. ] C'mon, she's small enough for even you to hold.

[hellosirs]

[ Here lies Magnus Burnsides: He died as he lived. Buried underneath an adorable pile of dogs. Sources say he just spontaneously combusted from sheer joy before the asphyxiation set in.

Angus shoulders his backpack (filled with books and notepads of course, though if he'd had his way, he might have used a briefcase instead) and edges closer to the dogpile. He reaches out to the chihuahua with all the wary apprehension of a man attempting to defuse a time bomb, and finally, finally gives her a quick scruff between her giant pointy ears. ]

What's her name? Are you gonna keep them both?

a;

[taraincognita]

[ this guy looks absolutely terrifying. big, hulking, and with a ton of scars to boot. so, tara gives him kind of a wide berth when she shows up to play with the dogs.

okay, so she has no intention of adopting them. it's not like she has the resources to care for a dog, even. but someone had to put the idea in her head, and it can't hurt to play with them, right?

that aside, this big burly boy is beginning to cry. because all of these dogs don't have homes, and he can't house them all. holy shit. this is exactly the kind of nice guy that finishes first. tara pauses from her place by the cage of a golden retriever pup.]

Uh...dude, it'll be okay. I'm sure someone will adopt these guys.

[she isn't sure, but. she really doesn't want to see this big guy cry. for some reason.]

THIS IS CUTE AS HELL TBH

[burlyboy]

They haven't adopted them yet, though! And I can't figure out why! Just look at them! There's that bruiser - [ he points at a rottweiler, who is steadily drooling because he'd been conditioned to think that visitors mean treats, and he's not wrong ] - and that wrinkly fella - [ he points at the shar pei who stares sternly at nothing at all ] - and Mr. Whiskers right there - [ he points at a stout schauzer with a truly majestic beard ] - and oh my god, this guy is so fluffy.

[ It's a pomeranian, and about 50% fluff. Magnus is in love. There's a big part of them that wants to let them all out now, but he's pretty sure that they, like him, may almost get run over by the terrifying battlewagons that everyone around here drives.

He groans. ]

It's going to be hard choosing just one.

[ ................... ]

...maybe I should come back in disguise.

your mango already warms my heart and soul

[taraincognita]

[there's something a little uncomfortable to her about having to comfort a grown-ass man. but it's also simultaneously a lot more comfortable than anything else that he could do right now.]

Well. You can still come play with them a lot, you know. Even if you can't adopt all of them?

[she pauses.]</small. Or, uh, work here? Then they'd all kind of be yours, right?