maskormenacelogs | One foot in and one foot back.

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One foot in and one foot back.

WHO: Aerith and Riku
WHERE: Heropa
WHEN: 2/4, early afternoon
WHAT: Aerith's coming baaaaaaaack
WARNINGS: N/A

[The first thing Aerith notices is how lonely she feels. The Lifestream is so warm, so alive, loud and clamoring with the voices of everyone that came before her. The relative silence here, in comparison, is staggering. She forgot just how hard it was the first time she came here. Somehow, this time is worse.

It's been so long.

It's been years.

Kel, Riku, Tetsuo, Kanaya, Komasan... Are they okay? Are they even still here?

Did those years she was gone in her world pass the same here, or was it longer? Shorter?

She can't stop thinking about them all as she's forced through the whole "hero" spiel again, and ushered into a car probably headed back to Nonah. That trip lasts hours in a car. She doesn't have time for that when she has so many questions.]

You don't have to do this. I know my way around.

[But the soldier won't hear any of it and Aerith ends up curled up in the back seat of the car, hands over her ears, trying to adjust to the different sound and pulse of this world. Trying not to think of the hole inside her the Lifestream left behind. She watches "REGISTERED HERO" glow steadily on her wrist. She can't stand this. She can't even tell if she's happy to be back or not. She wishes she was with her friends. She wishes she was anywhere but here.

And then she is.

Aerith falls flat on the ground in a park in Heropa she used to frequent. Sure, that was rude of her to ditch the soldier like that, but she needs answers, and she'd rather get them on her own.

Stumbling to her feet and walking in a wavering line, she sets off. She can feel everything here still. It's different, but still there. Everyone is alive and pulsing around her. It's so easy now for he to single out just one hum. Riku. Riku is closest to where she is now, which is perfect, because she doesn't feel well. Now, again, just once more, she can reach out and--

--fall flat on the ground in front of Riku. This is gonna take practice.]

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[Riku had just been sitting in the park, watching Shiro chase squirrels and whatever other critters he happens to come across. It took him a little while to notice there was something different, but when he realizes what that difference is, he starts off --

and nearly steps on Aerith.

She's the same as he saw her last, more or less -- perhaps a little bit different, something he can't place -- but it's still decidedly Aerith on the ground in front of him. She's awake -- she kind of just fell out of thin air in front of him, and immediately he crouches, half-lifting her so he can support her head, hopefully get her re-oriented.]

Hey --

["Welcome back" comes to mind, but what comes out is --]

What happened? Are you okay?

[Maybe a stupid question, given that she's lying on the ground at his feet, but it comes out of his mouth anyway.]

[This is a hug.

Correction: This is a bear hug.

This is the hug of a woman who's been absent for two years in her own world without ever even remembering she had friends and a life here until an hour ago when she was ported back in. It's a weird feeling to be reminded of a separate life all at once and the ache that goes with missing it.

She should probably say something, huh? Make it less weird?

Nah.]

[Oh, that's a hug.

Riku wasn't really expecting it but he hugs back all the same instinctively, pulls her to her feet at the same time. He hangs on though, will keep hanging on until she decides it's time to let go. That's up to her.

He doesn't break the silence either, just stands there quietly. It occurs to him, not for the first time, that Wally West had been right -- the three month rule really did work. Don't mourn until they've been gone for more than three months.

Finally he does speak, his voice low.]

Welcome back.

[The problem with this situation is that Aerith is very short. With Riku standing up and the both of them clinging to each other like grabby jellyfish, Aerith's feet aren't on the ground anymore. But, hey, Riku's pretty strong, right?

I mean, she's cool with that. She still feels a little airy. Consider it a side effect of being shoved back into her body just an hour ago and the sudden disconnection from the Lifestream. It takes her a while to respond to him because of that, and it's lucky she's got her face mushed against him, because her voice is noticeably watery.]

I'm back.

[He can tell he's holding most of her weight, but he hadn't really realized he had actually lifted her off the ground until a moment ago, and he lowers her just enough that her feet can touch the ground again. Riku keeps supporting her anyway, though -- she did just fall on her face in front of him. She's probably still a little wobbly.

He can hear that tone in Aerith's voice -- wavering, as if she's holding back tears. He doesn't mind so much, though. It's understandable.]

Thanks for coming back so promptly.

Not for me.

[It's punctuated with a sad, quiet laugh. However, she keeps her face pressed to Riku's chest until she can compose herself. She has an image to uphold, afterall, no matter how much Riku totally already knows she's crying under there.]

It's been two years for me.

[Two years away being dead and saving the world again anyway despite that. Her friends are kinda bad at doing that on their own.]

[If he couldn't tell already, the tears that are soaking into his shirt are giving him enough evidence. This is a surprise, though, and he nearly pushes her away to look at her face, though he holds back. His own surprise isn't enough for him to break her (admittedly ragged) pride. She doesn't want him to see her cry and he won't look, not until she lets him.]

Two years.

[He says it as if it's a term he's never heard. Two years, and yet... Aerith looks the same.]

You don't have to tell me about it right now. But I'd listen, if you want to.

[Even just for his own curiosity. She looks like her need for him to be there outweighs his need to find out about it, though, so he'll be patient.]

[It's true, she's too prideful. Aerith isn't fond of expressing negative emotions at all, but it's worse when it comes to crying. Honestly, she thought she cried all the tears out of her after Zack disappeared. She'd spent weeks like that. She's been sick and tired of crying for years now. Who has time for self-pitying, anyway?

Well... right now, her.

Hey, two years is a long time.]

Yeah. Um.

[And so she takes a moment to try to calm her breaths down and, with her head bowed, wipes her face on her arm, left, then right, sniffling in a way Aerith her self would call "pathetic."]

.....

[But where does she even start?

At least she can finally pull back and stop hiding like a soppy coward, red eyes and flushed cheeks and all.]

[Riku has time for self-pity, too. It's all right by him. He considers, watching her rubbing away her tears, then reaches up and rubs his sleeve across them for good measure.

Aerith hesitates and Riku shakes his head, trying to decide what to do. All he knows, though, is that he's pretty sure she doesn't want to be standing in the park crying -- after all, she didn't even want him to see it, and she's told him he's one of her best friends here. He'd imagine she wants the park to see it even less. So there's one solution, and that is to turn in place and crouch so she can climb onto his back. He's not worried about his wings -- they're small, but sturdy. Pinning them down like that won't hurt them.]

C'mon, we'll go to the house.

[Riku's dog, who he'd nearly forgotten in all this commotion, returns to his side at 'c'mon' and noses Aerith's hand. He can tell she's upset just as well as Riku can.]

[~~no one has ever wondered if Riku has time for self pity or not ok~~

It's true, though, that she doesn't want to be this much of a mess out in public. When she'd tried to teleport to Riku, she was decently sure he'd be closer to home, not semi-surrounded by people. She's more than eager to get the heck out of there as soon as possible. imPort gossip hounds are the worst.]

I can walk.

[This is absolutely not a fact.]

You don't need to carry me...

[But she feels her resolve weakening fast. It's true she doesn't feel steady on her feet yet, and besides, when is she gonna get this chance again? She's never going to feel unwell enough to need help like this again, probably, and never going to have a better excuse.

And so, checking that Riku's wings are safe and flat, Aerith swallows her pride and climbs up onto his back, holding tight to her piggybacker around his chest.]

Portal?

I know I don't.

[He doesn't really care whether she protests or not, though, she's getting a piggyback ride either way. Once she's settled and he feels like she's secure enough, Riku stands again, shifts his weight a little before starting off.]

If I open a portal, will you be okay to travel through? Without a coat it'll be nauseating.

[He wants to make the trip as quickly as possible, though, so even as he waits for her answer he's moving, though he won't open a door until she gives him the okay. Shiro has been through portals before himself, though Riku tries to minimize his exposure to them.]

[So her options are...

A: Have everyone see her being carried by Riku through Heropa.
B: Possibly throw up on him on her first day back. And then there's his poor dog... She couldn't make him get hurt, too...

Ugh. Her hands are tied here.]

Forget it. You can just walk. Quickly.

[Her fingers clutch his shirt. Maybe if she hides her face here in Riku's long hair, no one will be able to tell it's her.]

[It's probably kind of obvious who she is, though, given that she has about the same amount of hair as he does, and that big bow... He's not going to comment on that, though, and instead just does as she asks. He's not actually that far from home -- this particular park is fairly close to the imPort housing division.]

It won't be long.

[True to his word, it's about a ten minute walk until he's into his yard. Shiro heads to the back yard as soon as he's able, but Riku goes into the house. He doesn't let Aerith down until he gets to his room, upon which he deposits her carefully on the bed and sits down next to her. His wings, flattened out until now, fan out behind him, stretching.]

You want some water or something?

[Riku's right not to comment on it. At least Aerith can pretend no one recognizes her, or maybe they think she's an exceptional cosplayer.

For most of the walk to Riku's house, she keeps quiet, because it's still too easy to lose herself in all the noise in this world. So much of her wants to just go back into the Lifestream, and of course, no matter how much she searches, it's not here. It's not even the conscious part of her that longs for it. She's happy to be back here, honestly. She likes it here, even though that's an unpopular opinion with most imPorts.

Before she even knows it, Riku has Aerith in his bed. She blinks, looking around, reorienting herself. She kicks her boots off so she doesn't get his bed dirty and after a moment of staring at them lying on the floor, she lies down without any invite.]

It was nice to go home for a while.

[There's an audible, unsaid "but" in her voice.]

It's weird to have a body again.

[Aerith makes herself comfortable and he decides to do the same, scooting back so he can lean against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him. His wings fold again to accommodate this, and it's then that she speaks again. Riku's eyes flick up to hers.

"It's weird to have a body again."

Why... wouldn't she? Riku knows the sensation of being outside your body -- he remembers it pretty well, following Ansem around, having to find his way through the darkness, following a voice he didn't recognize. But -- this definitely ties in with what she'd said before, about the two years. He doesn't say anything about that, though -- he just watches her quietly, expressionless.

After a moment of silence, he averts his eyes again, staring out toward something invisible that exists in the space between his toes and the bedroom door.]

... Will you tell me about it?

Edited 2017-02-08 16:47 (UTC)

[Aerith takes a quiet moment to think this through. She never intended to keep her death a secret, but it ended up that way here. She guesses now she's only worried that Riku will take it badly or treat her differently because of it. She's never liked being handled with kid gloves.

But... He'll likely find out on his own, anyway. She's talked about it to a few other people and word has a habit of getting around.]

You already know I'm Cetra.

[They talked about that during the weird memory thing in Maurtia Falls over Halloween.]

Because I was the only one left, there were things only I could do. A man named Sephiroth wanted to use the black materia to destroy the planet, but I had the white materia from my mom. And I'm Cetra. The planet would listen to me if I asked it for help to awaken my materia. So... I left.

[Understatement of the century.]

I went to the ruins of the Temple of the Ancients, where the Cetra used to speak to the planet and prayed for it to listen to me. Sephiroth followed me. He knew I was the only one who could stop him. And so... he killed me.

[Said with all her typical detached indifference whenever death comes up. Her big eyes stare up at Riku in a way that could be seen as creepy.]

[Again, Riku takes a long moment to consider this. Aerith stares at him, and he doesn't know what to say. But instead of just sitting, he scoots forward as if he's about to get off the bed. Before he does he changes direction, stretches out next to her, and reaches over to pull her to him again. Someone might take that stare of hers to be unsettling, but in it Riku can see her waiting for him to say something.

"He killed me."

The way she says it, she doesn't seem to be all that bothered by this development. But Riku is -- he can't exactly mourn, seeing as she's right here on the bed with him, but it's a strange feeling all the same. Especially because -- he remembers that image of Sephiroth he'd seen, Naminé showing him a memory of Sora's. What must Aerith feel like, looking at Riku? So he's silent for a while, just hanging on. Finally, he heaves a sigh.]

You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry.

[No. She didn't deserve it. She was 22. She was in love. She could have been free from Shinra in weeks and lived her own life for the first time, any way she wanted. But she's a Cetra - and the Cetra have a duty.]

When I felt myself dying... I knew it was what I had to do. Holy heard my prayer and awoke, but it wasn't enough. But... inside the Lifestream, I could talk to it. It's all people, humans and Cetra alike inside. It listened to me and together, Holy, the Lifestream, and I were able to stop Meteor the black materia summoned. I couldn't have done that if I lived.

The Lifestream... is... everything. It's all of the life that ever was on Gaia, all of its energy and its thoughts. It would call for me when I was still alive. It used to scare me.

[Here Aerith trails off for a little while. It's hard for her to admit to being scared of anything, but as a little kid, just trying to fit in like a normal little girl, it was horrible.]

Besides-- [(with a tone indicating that Riku might need convincing)] --my friends needed me. They're always getting into trouble. I couldn't just leave them alone. I didn't join the Lifestream's consciousness. I just... stayed in it, myself. This way I can watch over everyone and help them when they need it. You see, when I went home, I went from this, to just... a soul. And now I'm back again. Alive.

[Riku sighs, closes his eyes. She's remarkably all right with this, really. And he wonders how much of it is that she's all right and how much of it is that she's just... accepted what she had to do. Riku remembers doing what he had to, transforming in order to survive long enough to bring Roxas to DiZ. They've both made sacrifices to save someone, or something. But Riku's sacrifice was eventually mended, whereas hers will never come back to her.

He's curious about the Lifestream, about her presence in it. Why is it that she's the only person who stayed separate? There's so much about this he doesn't know, and Riku is fairly certain he'll never really understand. But he understands doing what you have to, no matter how hard your task is.]

You're brave.

[Riku's voice is low, but firm. He can't really say anything against her choice -- he's made his own choices like it. He feels like, if he were in her position, he'd probably have made that decision too.]

If you need help, you'll tell me, right? It can't be easy.

[Riku is welcome to ask about anything he wants. Aerith established that around Halloween. She trusts him. She'd probably answer almost all of his questions honestly. Probably.]

I don't know... It's just the way things are. I always used to wonder what it meant to be Cetra. Now I know.

[It means having a duty. She thinks she fulfilled it well. Hopefully she made her ancestors proud.]

Besides... I get to be here. If not a lot of people here know I'm really dead, no one can treat me differently and I can just keep living a normal life. I can do that here. If my world is frozen without me and no one needs me, I can just... be. I can make friends and date and learn new things. I can pretend.

[She shuts her eyes, reaches out to touch Riku's back, trying to ground herself here in this world.]

I'm so happy I'm back.

[He won't pry too hard. She deserves to be able to take things easy.]

Honestly... I think there are a lot of people here who are dead back home. But I can understand wanting to be quiet about it, too. That's up to you, whether you want to share it or not. But for now -- you're right. While you're here, you're not held down by any of that. I think you should take advantage of it.

[Riku can't really tell her what to do, either way, and she'll do what she wants in the end. But she's right -- while she's here, no one back home needs her. It's the same for him. When he goes home, he's pretty sure he'll have to start teaching Kairi and Lea, or at least helping with it, depending on what Master Yen Sid wants to do. But for now, he isn't going to worry about things back home. Xehanort's plan won't move at all while he's here.]

I'm happy you're back, too. It was weird.

[Aerith hadn't been around as long as some people he knows, himself included, but she had quickly become a normal part of life. Her not being around felt strange.]

[It all sounds so nice. She's so thankful Riku agrees with her. He doesn't even think less of her for seemingly "abandoning" her mission as a Cetra. Though something tells her Riku would get that more than anyone, from what she knows about what he and Sora have been through.

Aerith lets herself settle in comfortably into Riku's bed, making herself completely at home. She's still not feeling 100%, but she's getting there. She just needs a little more time.

Eyes closed but still listening, she giggles.]

Are you saying you missed me?

[Obviously, but Aerith's never met a guy she didn't want to taunt a little bit.]

Tell me all about it.

[While she starts dozing off. Better make it a good bedtime story.]

Yes, I am.

[He lets out a huff, but his mouth is curved, and he reaches behind him to get the blanket, then rolls off it so it's bunched up in between them and he can spread it across her legs (since he can't really cover all of her with it when she's hugging him).]

It's weird, you know? People come and go all the time, but... certain people are like constants. So when someone like that disappears, it feels... strange.

[He can see her getting sleepy, though, and he reaches up with one hand, poking her forehead gently.]

Do you want some pajamas before you pass out?

[She'll let go of him so she can snuggle up in the blanket Riku offered her, after adjusting it around her properly. This isn't something Aerith would normally do, but besides the fact that she doesn't feel good, she trusts Riku. She's seen inside him and she knows that he's a good person - it's why she chose to befriend him in the first place. Nothing is going to happen to her with Riku here.]

It's funny. Even though we've only been friends a few months, it feels so much longer than that. Maybe the other you and the other me are friends now, too, or there's another world out there where we've been friends for ages.

[As for the pajamas question, she shakes her head. This dress isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep in, but it'll do. Better than going through the trouble of getting up again.]

[The way he moved the blanket, he's not lying on it, at least. That'd be annoying for her while she was sleeping, he thinks. Instead, he just stretches out lazily, makes sure they've both got enough pillow. He's not going to sleep (at least, he's not planning on it) but he's not going to ditch her, either, so he'll keep her company here.

She's right, though. It does feel longer than the little while it's been -- she's understating it a little, since she'd been here for maybe ten months before she left -- but it's not even a full year either way. But either way, no matter the length it's one of those friendships he doesn't want to lose.]

Maybe. Okay, well -- in that case, feel free to go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. All right?

[Oh. He's lying down with her.

Aerith didn't expect that, but it's not unwelcome, either. In fact, it serves as a reminder of how much Riku secretly is a huge dork. Underneath that cool persona (and those suspiciously Sephiroth looks), nope, he's just a big dork.

Well, she's not complaining.]

Mmhmm.

[And that's all the lazy answer he's gonna get. Playing around with her new powers and the added stress of being flung back here with no warning or preparation has left her completely burnt out. She just... needs a few hours, that's all.]

[He's the hugest dork, as much as he hates to admit it. It's probably why he and Sora get along so well.

Riku can feel it when Aerith falls asleep, somehow. It's like something faded out, maybe, or maybe it's just that her breathing has leveled out. He contents himself for a while with messing on his phone, playing whatever mobile game he's been messing with lately, or checking on the network.

It's not long before his hand slackens, the phone ending up lying face-up in between them on the bed. Riku had been up all night before this -- just his usual sleep-avoidance tactics. He doesn't mean to nod off -- it just happens somehow. So by the time Aerith wakes back up, he's sleeping flat out, his hand still partly open, palm up, in a sleepy rendition of the position it was in before he fell asleep.]

[Aerith wakes up in a haze, reorienting herself all over again. Where is she? She's not on Gaia anymore, that's right. She's on Earth. And this is Riku's room. How long has it been? She can't remember what time it was when she got here, let alone fell asleep.

It's so embarrassing, Riku probably--

Oh.

Riku's asleep too.

It's cute, too - it looks like he fell asleep while he was on his phone. His hand is still in the same position. Poor guy.

Aerith, moving slowly and gently so she doesn't wake him up, finds her own phone and snaps a picture of him. This one isn't going up on Hastagram or anything. She's keeping this cute one just for herself. Besides, people would get the wrong idea.

Still, sitting up here and staring at him isn't much better. So she's just gonna... take another moment and... um... hmm...

She's gonna boop him right on his nose.]

[He sure is also asleep. He doesn't stir at all, not until she actually touches him. Even then it takes him a moment or so to register that she's there -- he just gestures vaguely toward her hand, clearly thinking it's his cat, maybe -- and then finally he opens his eyes. Riku stares upward at her for what could have been anywhere between a second and a minute, and then he closes his eyes again, smiling gently.]

Good morning to you too. Or...

[What time is it?]

[Aerith grabs Riku's blindly grabbing hand, muffling her quiet giggle. She doesn't do anything to interrupt his quiet staring, either, since she's still in her own sleepy brain, too.]

Hi. [A long pause later...] It's evening. Like, five-something.

[She just looked at her phone and already she forgot.]

I should get home.

You want me to drop you off?

[Which sounds stupid, considering her new teleportation abilities. But it's the thought that counts, right?]

Could you? I just rested; I don't want to tire myself out all over again.

[Another very long, sleepy pause later.]

I'm registered again. Since I just got back. I can take the porter!

[SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS! SHE'S FREE!

For one month.]

Sure. In that case, we'll go on the vespa.

[Riku'll just walk her home instead. But since the porter here is in Cape Canaveral, they're not going to walk from here to there. That seems like a waste of energy.

He gets up off the bed first, then reaches out once he's standing, offering his hand.]

C'mon.

[If she was in a sassier, less groggy mood, she'd argue that she didn't need any help getting out of a bed. She kinda does, though, and she's smiling when she takes his hand to steady herself.]

You have a vespa?

[There's definitely excitement in her eyes.]

Yeah.

[He can see that look on her face and he tilts his head even as he's pulling her to her feet.]

I'm surprised you've never seen it. It's not all that exciting, I'm afraid.

[Shut up, Riku.

He leads her down the stairs again, once she's collected her jacket, and then they're out the door and into the garage. It's a small little vehicle, but clearly big enough for a passenger, and he moves to open the garage door.]

Tell me when you're ready.

What are you talking about? Of course it's exciting. I've been thinking about getting one, too.

[Despite never being on one. Right.

Aerith shrugs her jacket back on and takes a moment to make sure her dress is pulled down enough. It's going to be a little awkward regardless with the way her dress buttons up, but at least Riku won't be seeing that from his position on the bike.]

I'm ready! Do you have a spare helmet?

Have you?

[A spare helmet, though... yes, he does, now that he thinks about it, and he hands it over, though he's not sure how well it'll fit over that braid of hers. Riku's had his hair down this whole time, so he pulls it over his shoulder and fastens it at the end with an elastic, putting it this way mostly so he doesn't hit her in the face with it as they drive.]

There.

[He gets into his own spot, starting it while he waits for her. There won't be a whole lot of room, but somehow he doesn't think she's going to care.]

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One foot in and one foot back.

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