don't know what i want but i know how to get it; i wanna destroy the passerby

[heckblazer]

WHO: John Constantine, some bad children, various bad adults, maybe you?
WHERE: Roundabouts various cities
WHEN: Early to mid-February
WHAT: John's February Super Fun Wow Catch-All Extravaganza
WARNINGS: To be tagged as necessary



((Tags in comments below. HIT ME UP IF YOU WANNA PLOT! I'm open for almost anything and would love to throw John at most of y'all.))

Comments

PERSEPHONE;

[heckblazer]

[ He hated it so goddamned much.

John had stepped by Maurtia Falls to run errands for the girl - the usual busywork like picking up dry cleaning, shaking payments out of venue owners, replenishing her makeup kit (how did she go through eyeliner so fast?). He's doing the latter, stepping out of a drug shop when he glances up and sees the stupid billboard.

He'd signed up for the modelling contest for the lark, and showed up for the shoot because the money was good. But he'd also been a deliberate slouch, sabotaging every attempt they made at getting a decent photo. Public attention wasn't really his style. But the bastards had made it work. And insult to injury, the billboard was across the street from one of the kids' preferred concert halls.

The image is a blown-up picture of him looking as curmudgeonly as ever with a cigarette. The background was edited to look like a grungy, urban backdrop rather than the studio he'd been in. Imposed across the negative space of the photo was the advertising text, stylized with an attempt at punky lettering:

SMOKING ISN'T COOL
its blazing
C&M TOBACCO

Trying not to draw attention to himself, John takes a photo of the visual atrocity, sending it to the person he knows would most want to destroy it. ]

[pummelgranite]

Yeah that's basically the worst thing I've ever seen. What are you thinking?

[heckblazer]

so.

do you want to test your theory on whether famous people can get away with more shit?

fire, grafitti, errant vine-tendrils, whatever you want.

[pummelgranite]

Uh huh. Where is that? By the Uptown station?

[heckblazer]

Yup.

[pummelgranite]

Meet you in 20.

[heckblazer]

[ And he's actually there on time for once, standing at the base of the billboard looking clearly agitated. ]

Y'have something in mind?

[pummelgranite]

Uh huh.


[ She steps straight up to the advert. As she steps close, her eyes go all black. Then indicated for him to move back. ]

[heckblazer]

[ He shuffles behind a nearby tree that more or less covers his frame, although he watches her intently.

And as an afterthought, pulls out his phone to record it. He'll save it for a rainy day when he might need to chin up. ]

[pummelgranite]

One, two, three, four.


[ She puts a palm to the board. The paint begins to age and yellow and crack. Then, it begins to flake away entirely, until there is a great grinning skull where the paint eroded completely.

The image is quite completely defaced. ]

[heckblazer]

[ You don't deserve her, John.

He's actually rather genuinely grinning in relief, amusement and a touch of pride when she comes back down to ground level. It's rare that he asks things of her, always mindful of her power, of being indebted to a deity. But this required an expert's touch, so he'll take the blow. ]

I owe ya one, love.

[pummelgranite]

[ She seems oddly pleased with herself too. ]


Pretty good, innit?

[heckblazer]

Yeah, no shit.

[ It's a good a time as any to steal her line. ]

[pummelgranite]

[ She does seem quite pleased with herself. A hand is held out in a 'gimme' motion. ]

Smoke.

[heckblazer]

[ With a massive eyeroll unbecoming of a man in his 40s, he finds a pack in a pocket and drops it into her expecting palm, giving her free reign of its contents. Least he can do. And not because he likes her or anything. ]

'Least I got free unlimited smokes outta the deal. Should I cross-promote with your concerts, then?

[pummelgranite]

[ She takes one and passes it back. ]


Uhm, no. There are fucking kids there.


[ and then she inhales like half the fucking cigarette in one drag ]

[heckblazer]

As if I ever coulda' forgotten. Right. Gotta be a good influence, don't we?

[ He takes one for himself, tossing the pack back at her with a little side-eye. ]

Lemmie find a yogurt company that might be interested, then?

[pummelgranite]

Fuck you.

[ The tone is mild enough that it's essentially, "no thank you." The pack goes into her pocket. ]

What about the pomegranate juice people? They ever get back to you?

[heckblazer]

Believe it or not, I actually 'membered to call them. Wanted a cut bigger'n the cross-promo with the banana people, but I'm workin' on talkin' 'em down. It's not like they had anyone else in mind to pose for the damn ads.

[ He takes a l o n g drag from his cigarette then, to purge the space inside his mouth and clean up the residue of the accursed, unnatural grown-up work talk. ]

Gonna make sure the contract's got something 'bout not publishing the ads without your final say-so. Just so's you don't make the mistake I just did.

[pummelgranite]

Fucking right.


[ Nicotine is way better than capitalism, it's true. ]

[heckblazer]

[ He leans against the tree, perhaps trying slightly too hard to be casual. ]

How's work on the Underworld goin', by the by? Be nice when I don't have to keep smacking about venue owners about payment. Not that th' actual smacking part is too bad.