I black out on dessert wine

[brushoff]

WHO: Dorian & others! some closed prompts, some open prompts
WHERE: all over the place
WHEN: all through the month of February
WHAT: surprise, Dorian Gray is actually secretly really pathetic
WARNINGS: talk of depression, mild drug use, alcoholism, body horror

open ish prompt: for people Dorian's got good cr with
Dorian's still an absolute wreck. It's been a month since Toby ported out and while he handled December by getting blackout drunk on a near daily basis, he's handled January by holing up in his apartment like a recluse, staring at his portrait, and just thinking about the past, about how he messed everything up, how it's his fault that if Toby comes back here, he won't be the same.

Of course, that's a big if in the first place. He's already lost Toby twice. What's the likelihood that the third time he loses him he'll get lucky?

Dorian's thankful for the blackout--it saved him the trouble of having to go out and pretend to care about all these sorts of trivial, boring imPort things. But he's hidden himself away for most of January and he knows that his friends are probably wondering why one of the community's most social butterflies has been laying low.

He has friends. Friends that care about him. That's still damn weird to wrap his head around.

So, Dorian's invited people over, partly to stop people from worrying, partly to force him to actually clean up his goddamn apartment. As he opens the door, Dorian gives whoever he invited a grin. There are still signs that things aren't great: there's far too many liquor bottles in the trash can, far too many shot glasses in the sink, and Dorian's wearing a sweatshirt. Still, he's able to put on a fake enough smile.

"Come on in," said with a nod.

open prompt: a bar in maurtia falls
This 'trying to people' and 'trying to seem like he's got it all together when in reality he almost had a breakdown at the laundromat when he discovered one of Toby's shirts in his load' fucking sucks. So Dorian's getting drunk. Again. Surprising no one. This bar's a bit more dive bar than his usual locations, but the alcohol's cheap, there's a jukebox, and nobody'll bother him.

That is, nobody except the bartender who recognizes Dorian as that guy who kind of passed out drunk sometime last month and they had to call a cab to get his alcoholic ass home. Needless to say, Dorian's gotten cut off after one drink.

So hello there person who Dorian might or might not recognize from the network, he's sliding right up to them, presenting them with his most winning, most 'surely I'M not trouble', most persuasive smile he can muster.

"Buy me a drink? I'll pay you back later, I just left my wallet at the house."

This is a lie. Just talking to the bartender will reveal this as a lie. Still, Dorian's delivering it like it's the utmost truth.

Comments

[brushoff]

He doesn't say 'I told you so.' But oh, he is desperately thinking it. Dorian's managing to keep a straight face but there's a vicious flame of glee burning inside of him. Ha! Chilton had fucked everything up and driven Raina away. It was to be expected, of course. She was always too good for him.

"What was the tipping point?" Because how he wants to hear this gossip.

[flowerette]

"He compromised our home by allowing some weird, cowboy stalker to break in." It's more than that, but Raina's not one to pour her entire heart out when it came to her frustrations, wants, insecurities and disappointments. That, in essence, was the tipping point along with Sam's presence there.

"I told him time and time again that we need wards on our home. Too many people hate him for us to have our home unprotected. But, like always, he ignores my good advice."

[brushoff]

Dorian can't help it—he gives Raina a look that's downright confused. Weird cowboy stalker? What? What sort of nonsense had Fred gotten himself caught up in now?

"That's entirely idiotic. I've got wards on my apartment, I thought he'd be smart enough to do the same." Well, Dorian has a ward. Klarion's warded the closet that his portrait is currently stationed in and really, that's enough for Dorian. The rest of the apartment is just stuff, it's not as valuable in Dorian's mind as his livelihood and memories are.

[flowerette]

It's almost better not to even ask. Chilton attracts the weirdest fans.

"You would think. But no." Raina sets her empty glass next to the others, waiting for her vision to refocus a bit better before looking up again. The world around them seems to be spinning and Dorian's the only solitary figure in the room. Her brow creases thoughtfully. "So you and I should probably makeout. It seems like the logical solution to our problems."

They're both in the same boat, right? She hasn't seen Tobias in a very long time since the two of them were all over the network, freshly proposed and then married.

[brushoff]

"Toby is ported out," Dorian admits, with a small frown, pulling back into himself slightly. "It's over a month now. This...it's longer than the previous times." This is the cause of Dorian's problems, why he's in this bar in the first place. He desperately misses Toby but that part of him that points out that Toby won't come back just grows louder and louder each day the vampire's gone. Dorian idly fiddles with his wedding ring, more as a nervous tic than any sort of deliberate action.

Fuck it.

He leans in towards Raina and attempts to violently kiss her, out of pure desperation than anything close to a romantic attachment, practically shoving his tongue between her lips in a moment of passion. He still loves Toby. He's still mooning over Toby. He's still absolutely crushed by Toby's departure. But the ability to not feel anything, to not think about Toby for even a moment or two is just too strong a temptation to resist. This won't make the pain go away but it can at least distract him.

[flowerette]

Distraction from pain is about all they can do now until the day when that pain hurts less. And Raina has been seeking all sorts of distractions if the row of empty glasses are anything to go by. So, she doesn't pull back when Dorian attacks her with his lips. She's a bit slower to follow, but only because her motor functions are a bit dulled rather than any hesitation. When she returns his kiss, she dives in equally aggressive, nipping down on his lips and attacking his tongue with her own.

And then the nagging thought enters her mind -- how Dorian's kisses aren't Frederick's lopsided kisses. How Dorian's perfect face and teeth don't account for the missing bone structure on the side of Frederick's wounded face. How everything about Dorian is so perfect and doesn't match anything about the flaws she was used to and had grown to love.

God. Frederick is even ruining her chance for revenge now.

Raina pulls back with a furrowed brow. "When does it stop? When do we stop thinking about them?" Judging by her tone, she's desperate for the answer. Raina has never known what she knew with Chilton, and so, she had never felt this sort of empty pain. Dorian, being immortal, must have experienced a few instances of loving someone and losing them.

[brushoff]

Dorian doesn't answer that. Because for him? The answer's never. When Toby died, back in the 1980s, Dorian was thrown into a ten year depressive fit. Only almost dying (and for real dying, not Dorian dying) was the thing that brought him back from the abyss the first time. Here? He's got no idea how long it would take or if it'll even stop to begin with.

But like hell Raina's going to hear that. He loves Raina too much to tell her the truth.

"When you find someone new," he simply answers, lying still. And Dorian leans in again, attempting to kiss Raina again, trying to worm a hand around her waist to pull her closer to him. He's not going to be that someone new but at least if they're kissing then he doesn't have to think about things.

[flowerette]

There wouldn't be anyone new. There would literally never be a circumstance so unique like the one she had experienced with Chilton -- the man who saved her from her own madness. And that is an even more depressing prospect. She puts her hand to Dorian's chest to keep a distance between them because she can't. He can't either. That's not to say she doesn't wish she could. Oh how Raina wants this sadness to stop.

"You don't want this. I didn't understand it, you know? I thought how could Dorian Gray possibly ever be monogamous? How could he love someone so much that, that person was the only one for him? I'd never fallen for anyone in my whole life. And now I do understand. When you fall in love, it ruins you. God, I want so badly to be able to spite fuck you. But the guilt of it would eat me alive."

With a sigh, Raina reaches into her purse. "Do you want a drink? Or several? Even if we can't fuck the feelings away, we can still drink them gone."

[brushoff]

They're two peas in a pod. Two horrifically depressed peas in a pod. Two peas who've found their soulmate and lost their soulmate and know what that crushing feeling is. Dorian backs away from Raina, sitting down next to her. A part of him still wants to do this, wants to fuck Raina just to stop thinking. But if Raina doesn't want it to happen, he'll respect her wishes.

He still hates Chilton. But right now, he knows what Raina's feeling so acutely that the hate is for a different reason. Fuck that guy for forcing Raina through this. Dorian? Well he deserved this awful feeling and this depression, it's entirely his fault that he's in this situation right now. But Raina? Yeah, this is all Chilton's fault, fuck that guy.

But alcohol. Yes, this is healthy coping. "I've been blackout drunk for most of January. Why stop now?" That's a yes.

[flowerette]

"I'm so sorry."

She reaches out to take his hand lightly within her own, giving it a gentle and genuine squeeze. They might have had their differences as far as Chilton was concerned, but the fact that Dorian is feeling this monumental loss of his lover -- well, Raina wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. And so, for once, her sympathies aren't faked.

Waving the bartender over to them, she gets herself another round and also lets Dorian choose whatever he wants. And in the meantime, she struggles to find a topic that isn't bitching about their failed romances. What can add a bit of levity to the situation?

"I see we both made it into that sexy imPort calendar."

[brushoff]

Dorian can't help but laugh a little at that, shaking his head as he gives Raina a grin. It's certainly adding a bit of levity and, at least for him, it's making him smile.

"Well of course we did! As two of the best looking imPorts here, of course we'd make it into that calendar. It'd be criminal not to include us."

[flowerette]

"I do question some of the choices. Daryl Dixon? Ugh."

Because what redneck belongs in something that's supposed to highlight the best of the imPorts? But fortunately, he hasn't sullied up the sexy calendar.

"But at least we were so good, we made two months a piece."

[brushoff]

He could kiss Raina right here and now for her dislike of Dixon. Dorian can't help but make a small noise of disgust as Raina mentions the man. He really is the sort of person who doesn't belong in the calendar at all! Uncouth, vulgar, dirty, probably smelly as well.

"What can I say, they know talent when they see it."

[flowerette]

Probably very smelly! Raina won't be volunteering to go smell him, though. But as their drinks arrive, she smirks and takes her glass to clink against his.

"Are you continuing with the modeling contract they gave you? Or was the calendar a sort of one-off thing?"

[brushoff]

"You know, I think I'll continue with the contract." Dorian shrugs, in a sort of 'why not' type of gesture. After all, it's just modeling. Standing still, flirting with the camera and looking pretty is something that Dorian's got experience upon experience with.

"It's easy money and I can't bartend forever."

[flowerette]

"It keeps you moving around. Seeing different places -- being distracted." And Raina knows that distraction is about all either of them can do. She licks her lips, tasting the remnants of his kiss along with the alcohol she'd been drinking.

"I mean, technically you could do something forever. But it would be a pretty boring forever." A pause. She fumbles for topics that keep them focused outside of themselves. "Hey -- do you want to go see a movie? Or maybe a play. We could just take off, you and I. Fly to New York and see a Broadway show. I never have before."

[brushoff]

"Mmm, it's been literal years since I went to New York." Dorian takes a sip of his drink, distracted by thoughts of the city, thoughts of his past, and thoughts of the last time he actually was in New York. Was it...probably the 1940s, Christ had it been that long? He was overdue a visit.

"We're staying at the Algonquin, of course," said as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "What better place for people like us!" What better place for witty assholes who like the sound of their own voice. "As for the show, nothing Webber, of course. I'd slit my wrists before being forced to listen to fucking Cats."

[flowerette]

"Of course." Raina agrees, although she's never stayed there herself. She just trusts Dorian's judgement on these sorts of things. "And we deserve the best. Best hotel, best restaurant. Perhaps not the best show, we'll be limited to whatever is playing. But maybe something Sondheim?"

The idea of this all -- the randomness, the different setting, the change of pace got Raina a bit excited by the prospect. She absolutely loved shopping in New York. And a bit of retail therapy could serve to improve her mood drastically. Along with the excellent company.

"We should try to get the honeymoon suite. We should throw our status as imPorts around and get them to give it to us -- regardless of if it's booked or not." Fuck romance. Fuck that couple. If Raina can't be happy, then she hopes she and Dorian can ruin someone else's night!

[brushoff]

"There is a revival of Sunday In the Park with George going on," Dorian continues, with a little smile. He's losing himself in the idea of it as well. Just going to New York for the weekend, getting out of time, spending time together with Raina and the two of themselves just getting lost in the hedonism of the city...it sounds absolutely exquisite.

"You're the beautiful head of a highly-regarded genetics institute, I'm a literal model. We've certainly got enough clout to demand the honeymoon suite!"