I black out on dessert wine

[brushoff]

WHO: Dorian & others! some closed prompts, some open prompts
WHERE: all over the place
WHEN: all through the month of February
WHAT: surprise, Dorian Gray is actually secretly really pathetic
WARNINGS: talk of depression, mild drug use, alcoholism, body horror

open ish prompt: for people Dorian's got good cr with
Dorian's still an absolute wreck. It's been a month since Toby ported out and while he handled December by getting blackout drunk on a near daily basis, he's handled January by holing up in his apartment like a recluse, staring at his portrait, and just thinking about the past, about how he messed everything up, how it's his fault that if Toby comes back here, he won't be the same.

Of course, that's a big if in the first place. He's already lost Toby twice. What's the likelihood that the third time he loses him he'll get lucky?

Dorian's thankful for the blackout--it saved him the trouble of having to go out and pretend to care about all these sorts of trivial, boring imPort things. But he's hidden himself away for most of January and he knows that his friends are probably wondering why one of the community's most social butterflies has been laying low.

He has friends. Friends that care about him. That's still damn weird to wrap his head around.

So, Dorian's invited people over, partly to stop people from worrying, partly to force him to actually clean up his goddamn apartment. As he opens the door, Dorian gives whoever he invited a grin. There are still signs that things aren't great: there's far too many liquor bottles in the trash can, far too many shot glasses in the sink, and Dorian's wearing a sweatshirt. Still, he's able to put on a fake enough smile.

"Come on in," said with a nod.

open prompt: a bar in maurtia falls
This 'trying to people' and 'trying to seem like he's got it all together when in reality he almost had a breakdown at the laundromat when he discovered one of Toby's shirts in his load' fucking sucks. So Dorian's getting drunk. Again. Surprising no one. This bar's a bit more dive bar than his usual locations, but the alcohol's cheap, there's a jukebox, and nobody'll bother him.

That is, nobody except the bartender who recognizes Dorian as that guy who kind of passed out drunk sometime last month and they had to call a cab to get his alcoholic ass home. Needless to say, Dorian's gotten cut off after one drink.

So hello there person who Dorian might or might not recognize from the network, he's sliding right up to them, presenting them with his most winning, most 'surely I'M not trouble', most persuasive smile he can muster.

"Buy me a drink? I'll pay you back later, I just left my wallet at the house."

This is a lie. Just talking to the bartender will reveal this as a lie. Still, Dorian's delivering it like it's the utmost truth.

Comments

[brushoff]

"That's not how it works," Dorian remarks, with a little roll of his eyes. Reaching into his pocket, Dorian pulled out a slightly sloppily rolled joint, another reason why his Maurtia Falls guy was so much better.

He held the joint between his teeth as he rummages around his coat pockets to try and find the stupid lighter.

"Say please first," he teases, 100% being a shit for the sake of being a shit.

[admemoriam]

With a roll of his eyes, Noah holds out one pale hand.

"Please."

[brushoff]

Grinning, Dorian finally found the lighter. He lit up the end of the blunt, took a drag from it for himself, then passed it over to Noah.

Gansey would hate him for doing this. This means it's 100% going to happen.

"Have at it."

[admemoriam]

Noah plucks it between his thumb and index finger, and takes a long hit. He holds it in his lungs, leans back lazily into the leaves, and lets the smoke out in a slow breath of fog.

He's missed this. It's the taste of high school, sitting on the roof in the fall, being carefree.

"What are you doing here?"

[brushoff]

"Trying to escape people." He gives a pointed look at Noah at that. Still, the look only lasts for a moment as Dorian reaches back over for the joint.

"The past few months have been bloody awful. I just wanted to come out here to think."

[admemoriam]

"Hey, puff-puff-pass, man." Noah rushes in another drag before letting him have it. "Rules."

He didn't think he would ever agree with Dorian on something, but he's goddamn right, to be honest. The past several months have been shit.

"I'm sorry about your husband."

[brushoff]

Dorian rolls his eyes...but then Noah mentions his husband. Dorian instantly tightens up a bit, clamming up as he takes a drag as well. He doesn't want to talk about this. But, Noah mentioned it, so Dorian has to at least acknowledge it.

"Thanks," he simply responds. There's a pause before, "I'm sorry your friends left as well."

[admemoriam]

"Yeah."

There isn't much else to say on that note. Everything sucks for both of them, and it's probably the most they've ever had in common.

"Will you get to see him back home?"

[brushoff]

Dorian's silence says it all. No, he won't. If he does, it won't be Toby, it'll be Lucifer hanging out in Toby's body like a bloody puppet.

He doesn't answer Noah's question. Instead, he takes another drag before answering it with a question of his own.

"Will you get to see yours?"

[admemoriam]

"No. None of them."

He reaches out for the joint.

[brushoff]

Dorian passes it over, frowning a little. His experiences with ghosts have mostly boiled down to 'is this thing trying to kill me and if so how do I stop it' so Noah's dilemma is a bit confusing and definitely interesting.

"Is it because of the dead thing? Have you...passed on or whatever the hell it is ghosts do in your world?"

[admemoriam]

Noah hasn't been thinking of it that way, honestly. He doesn't believe in God, or in heaven. He knows all that's waiting for him is nothing. It isn't passing on - it's just dissolving.

Slipping the joint between his lips, he nods.

"I'm gone."

[brushoff]

It's obvious that Dorian's thinking of something, that he's got something nagging at the back of his mind. He's a bit insistent as he continues to talk, looking at Noah with a bit of a frown.

"But you won't remember them when you go back home."

Lucky bastard.

[admemoriam]

"Just because you want it doesn't mean I'm lucky."

There's a hint of slow anger in his voice, but he's too weary to follow it. His eyes don't spark.

"You got to live, Dorian. You have a past, and you get a future. I had seventeen years, and I don't remember most if it anymore."

feel free to get as super creepy telepathy as you want. c:

[brushoff]

He gets a future. But what good would that future be in the first place? It doesn't have Toby. It's all Dorian's fault—he was the one who made that agreement to take his soul back, not knowing it was the thing that brought Toby back from the dead. He was the one who should have known better. He was the one who caused all this in the first place.

That self-loathing is just spiraling out of control.

"You say that like I want my future in the first place. I'm stuck with it no matter what."