Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish (
baetiful) wrote in
maskormenacelogs2016-12-28 10:21 am
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[CLOSED]
WHO: Jayden Revell, Jorah Mormont, and Petyr Baelish.
WHERE: The long and elaborate sewer system of Philadelphia
WHEN: Sometime in December
WHAT: Baelish is determined to get his hands on one of the Alterams. This search leads this merry band of misfits into the sewer system. Wacky adventures ensue.
WARNINGS: Mild violence and sewer grossness.
[ Although Petyr absolutely hates getting his hands dirty, there are certain situations where it's a necessity. The imPorts can't help him on this matter, so he has to help himself. Which is why the three of them (and rodents) stand before a manhole. For once, Baelish is not in a fancy tunic. He's dressed in a pair of throw away jeans, work boots, a T-shirt and a sweat jacket. It's the epitome of garbage clothing in his eyes. ]
Jorah, do you mind lifting the cover?
[ Baelish asks, managing to swallow his bile in anticipation of the smell. God, he is not looking forward to this. But there is someone among them who is looking forward to it. He spares a glance at Mouse. ]
There should be a ladder leading down, correct? [ Several mockingbirds hover in the air, holding onto a backpack that contains flashlights, water bottles, knives, rope, bandages and a few other first aid items as well as a couple of snacks and blankets just in case things got bad and they get stuck down there for longer than they anticipate.
But these things never go bad, really! Should be all smooth sailing from here, of course. Of course. ]
WHERE: The long and elaborate sewer system of Philadelphia
WHEN: Sometime in December
WHAT: Baelish is determined to get his hands on one of the Alterams. This search leads this merry band of misfits into the sewer system. Wacky adventures ensue.
WARNINGS: Mild violence and sewer grossness.
[ Although Petyr absolutely hates getting his hands dirty, there are certain situations where it's a necessity. The imPorts can't help him on this matter, so he has to help himself. Which is why the three of them (and rodents) stand before a manhole. For once, Baelish is not in a fancy tunic. He's dressed in a pair of throw away jeans, work boots, a T-shirt and a sweat jacket. It's the epitome of garbage clothing in his eyes. ]
Jorah, do you mind lifting the cover?
[ Baelish asks, managing to swallow his bile in anticipation of the smell. God, he is not looking forward to this. But there is someone among them who is looking forward to it. He spares a glance at Mouse. ]
There should be a ladder leading down, correct? [ Several mockingbirds hover in the air, holding onto a backpack that contains flashlights, water bottles, knives, rope, bandages and a few other first aid items as well as a couple of snacks and blankets just in case things got bad and they get stuck down there for longer than they anticipate.
But these things never go bad, really! Should be all smooth sailing from here, of course. Of course. ]
no subject
Oh yeah, there's always a ladder! If you just jumped down, you'd probably break your legs or something.
[ A beat. ]
Nobody do that. That'd be the worst.
no subject
The long breath he pulls in before he slips the hook down into the manhole cover is telling,
He’s probably seen and smelled worse than whatever is down there, but he isn’t being paid to feign enthusiasm for a foray into a literal shithole. He isn't being paid to complain, either -- and hasn’t. He hasn’t said much of anything, actually -- a grim shadow at Baelish’s shoulder, who’s already sized the man who calls himself ‘Mouse’ up with enough distrust to read like a thinly veiled warning.
He gives him (and his rats) another wary look as he braces, shifting the lid out of its frame and aside as if he’s been watching instructional videos online. Which may be the case.
One more mystery in his search history for Darlene to puzzle over. ]
no subject
I imagine you would like to go first, Your Grace.
[ He gestures for Mouse to take the ladder. Yes, he did just call this guy Your Grace, Jorah. He's the Rat King, after all. And this is exactly the man you want on your side in this particular scenario. But Jorah doesn't have to call him that. He can keep on doing what he's doing with the strong and silent thing. ]
I do hope we're able to find what we're looking for rather quickly.
[ He gets in line to follow Mouse down into the dark sewers which is the perfect position -- sandwiched between these two much stronger fighters. ]
no subject
True to his own advice, Mouse grabs the rungs of the ladder about halfway down and climbs the rest of the way into the depths like a normal person. As he gets closer to the bottom of the ladder, some of the rats on his shoulders take a couple of small flashlights from the backpack, and use them to illuminate the rest of the tunnel for Baelish, and Baelish's Kinda Scary Giant Bodyguard. ]
C'mon, c'mon! It's great down here!
no subject
The things he does for loyalty.
He’s last down the ladder, hook and all, and sighs like an old horse in the humid stench at the bottom. The manhole cover above them is left open -- little more than a circle of light. ‘Childproofing’ is less of a thing in Westeros. ]
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He climbs so carefully and steps off the ladder even moreso -- workboots landing on the mildly slippery ground. ]
You used to wander here barefoot, Your Grace? It seems as though you must have extraordinary balance. [ Baelish whistles for his mockingbirds to join him down there, and even the birds are reluctant to go underground. But ultimately, they obey. Then he liberates Mouse of a few flashlights just to offer one to Jorah and keep the other for himself. ]
So now we search. Your rats know what to look for, correct? [ Baelish starts forward and then pauses when he feels a weak tremor reach them all the way here. Frowning very deeply: ]
Well, it seems that answers that question as to whether any of them are down here. [ Bad news is that apparently the imPorts didn't do their job and finish it off entirely.
What could go wrong. ]
no subject
[ Mouse is, in fact, already stepping out of his boots and rolling up his jeans. Now that snow is no longer a concern, his feet are free! The rats spread out around him, some staying close to their Prince's ankles, while others fan out across the tunnel in a furry grey wave and start scouting ahead. The distant tremor actually makes the wave of rats ripple, and some of them go scurrying up the walls for cover. ]
... That... that sounds really big, Mr- sorry, Lord Baelish. I thought you said we were gonna look for monster-remains? 'Cause that sounded really alive. Either that or it's one of those giant sewer alligators.
no subject
Giant alligators?
[ His voice echoes ahead as he reaches to take the offered flashlight, mild despite tension winding up the back of his hand. ]
It’s much harder to keep you alive when you insist on joining expeditions into hell.
[ A friendly FYI in aside, in place of a suggestion that Baelish wait topside. ]
no subject
[ He speaks reassuringly -- though who he's reassuring is anyone's guess. It might simply be himself. But logically, it can't be at full strength. If it was, it would have leveled the city by now. It might be pretty strong, and with the team they have....well it would still be a challenge. But they are far enough away that they can plan now and go in with a strategy. ]
I believe we should be able to take it on. There were three ways they could be defeated. Through brute force -- though the harder we hit it, the harder the tremors. Getting inside of it and destroying it from within. And suffocating it. The latter, we should be able to accomplish. Mouse and I have an army. And you, Jorah, should be able to at least back it into a corner where Mouse and I can get the upperhand. Seal off its pores so it's unable to breathe.
Or....whatever it does.
no subject
... Um. How's he gonna back it into a corner if he can't punch it? Any earthquakes down here would just make the sewer collapse on us.
[ Some of the rats begin to scout ahead, and Mouse follows in their wake, crouched low to the ground in case of another tremor. ]
I mean, we're strong, but we can't hold up a roof.
no subject
Rather than answer immediately, he glances to Baelish and busies himself with testing the flashlight. On, off, on.
Rats seethe in the circle of light where he aims it, and he pretends not to see before clicking it firmly off again. This is fine. ]
I’ll transform into a bear.
no subject
[ Baelish doesn't mind retreating now that they know this thing is here and they'll be able to get it in their grasp one way or the other. But he would prefer to do it now. He nods at Jorah. Bear form would work best here.
He keeps his flashlight straight ahead so that the birds can see where they're flying. Aren't they just a motley crew with all their animals and animal forms. Or rather, a Motley Zoo. ]
What's that up ahead?
[ Baelish spots the shadow of something. Not large enough to be their creature. But whatever it is, it's standing in their path. ]
no subject
Guys! It's ok, he's a sewer-hobo!
[ He waves at the figure up ahead, and starts making his way towards the... er, possible sewer-hobo. ]
I didn't think anyone else would be down here! Are you royalty, too?
no subject
But he’s just here for support, silent disapproval of Mouse’s enthusiastic approach like a black hole of reproach over Petyr’s shoulder -- something to be felt rather than seen. Their flashlights are pointed forward; his is off.
That he chokes up his grip on his steel hook is difficult to detect. ]
no subject
Baelish's birds hang back, fluttering to his shoulders and perching upon them. And as they get closer to this so-called sewer-hobo, all of a sudden the sewer system gets awfully bright. It takes a second to realize that that's because there is fire. And that fire is coming from the sewer-hobo's hands.
Petyr curses and suddenly backs up. ]
You might have offended him. [ Said to Mouse. ]
[ But. The sewer-hobo is probably just crazy. It seems to be a common theme. ]
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[ He might be 'royalty' in some small furry circles, but Mouse isn't the kind of leader who's practiced at hiding his emotions, and the look on his face as he glances over his shoulder at Baelish is one of open dismay. The rats give the sewer-hobo a cautious berth, spreading out on either side of him as if he'd just parted the sea, and Mouse ducks into a springy crouch, ready to parkour around this sewer tunnel like a ping-pong ball or fight if he needs to. ]
It was a compliment! I lived in sewers too! The only reason I'm in a house is because the sewers in Heropa aren't as nice as these ones!
no subject
It’s just a flaming hobo. And Mouse seems to be drawing the bulk of his attention, anyway. ]
If you want me to snuff the fire, give the word.
[ He keeps his voice low, so as not to be overheard by either of their new friends. ]
no subject
'It's the only safe place!' He shouts -- seemingly torn between killing them and educating them. 'They're poisoning our dairy supply up there. Mind control agents. The government! You can't trust them! You think you can, but you can't. I know the truth. I've known it for years, but I can see it so clearly now!'
It's probably nonsense. But Baelish can't help but think maybe crazy sewer hobo might have a small bit of information for them. And Mouse seems to have gotten through to at least get the man to stop throwing flames at them. ]
Keep him talking, Your Grace.
[ He says to Mouse and then looks at Jorah, nodding forward. It seems safe to get a bit closer. For now. ]
no subject
[ Mouse asks the questions in total sincerity. He isn't just trying to keep the conversation going, he seems genuinely interested in the answers, and as he edges closer to the sewer-hobo, he straightens up out of his battle-ready crouch and into more of a casual lope. ]
... Is chocolate milk still safe?
[ asking all the important questions, here! ]
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It all sounds like nonsense to him, doubled down in Mouse’s concerns about treasonous cows and chocolate milk.
Enough that he’s reluctant to shoulder forward at Baelish’s nod, footsteps slow and cautious at Mouse’s back. He approaches dragons the same way -- with care taken not to spook or offend. ]
Offer him something to eat.
[ Backseat negotiating. ]
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But mister Jonathan Williams does seem keen to at least answer Mouse's questions. 'They created the cows. The cows are willing participants. They work for them.'
There's a low rumble under their feet from the monster lurking in the sewers. Petyr steadies himself by gripping Jorah's shoulder and mutters to the man: ]
I think we might be able to find a place for him in Doctor Chilton's hospital. It might be a bit more beneficial to take him along with us.
no subject
Oh! Right. Uh...
Here. The cheese in the crackers didn't come from the evil cows, we promise. We'd know if it did.
[ That seems good enough for the sewer-hobo, at least! The tremor sends the rats scurrying up the walls, and Mouse drops into a wary, steadying crouch again. ]
... Should we get out of here? That sounded like it was getting closer...
no subject
He sizes their sewer hobo up like a filthy, flea-ridden, fire-breathing dog Baelish wants to take along for the ride, but offers no argument there, either. They’ll make it work. ]
We’re here for the monster, [ he tells the hobo, and maybe Mouse, if he’s thinking of turning tail. And then in quieter aside to Petyr: ]
We can try to take him with us, or leave a bird and collect him on our way back. If I bind him he might burn through the rope.
no subject
Baelish regards the man curiously and after a moment, he's about to respond to Jorah until the monster suddenly makes itself noticeable. It's only half of a torso, dragging itself by its monstrous arms. But it's still fairly intimidating in its own right. For just a fleeting moment, Baelish gets second thoughts. Maybe they should turn tail and get out of there.
But. But. ]
It's already damaged. We should be able to do this.
no subject
You said to suffocate it, right? Rats! Swarm!
[ The rats surge up the walls and start pouring down on top of the monster's body like rainwater. For every rat that's shaken loose, another scrambles up to take its place, and with a noise that's practically a roar, Mouse lunges at one of the creature's arms. ]
no subject
They don’t have a chance to hash it out.
He drops his hook with an echoing clang, glare cut from Baelish to the hobo Mouse has shoved at them in warning to keep his fire hands to himself. His coveralls are already tight on his shoulders before he’s unzipped to skiv out of them, more bear than man in a matter of seconds -- great, huffing jaws, meathook claws and a mountain of muscle rolling down the sewer line to drive his weight onto the monster with all the grace of a derailed train.
He does, at least, make a last second course adjustment to come at it from the side opposite Mouse, rather than directly over him. ]
no subject
It's weak. They can do this. With Jorah muscling the creature into the corner and Mouse's rodents suffocating it, everything appears to be working out in their favor. That is, until the flashlight Baelish had been helpfully shining on the scene gets knocked from his hands when he looses his balance after a particularly large tremor.
The flashlight drops and breaks, leaving them in complete darkness. It renders the birds blind since they don't really have night vision at all and they flutter around in a panic. And whatever else happens in the dark, let it be known that the monster they're fighting doesn't necessarily have to see anything to do its damage. And it's attempting to plow Jorah over while struggling to shake the rodents out of its air pores. ]
no subject
Mr... Sewer-hobo, whatever your name was! We need light! Just don't set any of us on fire, please!
[ Mr. Williams is nice enough to oblige, and the flames in his hands dimly light up the tunnel like a pair of torches. Under his breath, he mutters something about evil cheese crackers. Mouse chooses that moment to lunge at the monster's forearm again, shouting "Rat trap! Rat trap!" like a battlecry.]
no subject
Rats not quick enough to slither out of his way are in danger of being crushed as he champs his jaws for purchase against the monster’s armor.
There’s nothing especially calculated or strategic about it, all slobber and gruff, garbled blustering in the firelight. ]
no subject
Petyr scrambles to pick up one of the other flashlights, turning it on to give them a bit more light. And it seems their hard work pays off when the monster weakens, arms flying about sluggishly -- its struggle becomes less and less as its deprived of its precious air.
And then, it succumbs -- collapsing before them with one final, dying tremor. Only when it does, does Petyr let out the breath he had pretty much been holding the entire time. ]
Is everyone all right?
no subject
We're ok! Mr. Jorah's still a bear, but I think he's ok too! Thank you for saving the rats, can you tell your birds I said thanks?
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Flecks of foam drip from his jaws, and he stretches his neck long to snuff after Mouse nearby, like a thousand pound labrador nosing for table scraps. ]
no subject
They said you're welcome. But also that the ones they rescued could stand to eat a little less cheese.
[ What. Birds tell it like it is. Petyr spares a glance toward Jorah bear. Now, Jorah had told him he turns into a bear -- but Baelish neglected to learn whether or not Jorah can control himself in bear form or not. So hopefully he doesn't try to eat them. ]
Do you need tending to, Ser Jorah?
[ And in the concern he's doling out for the knight, Baelish neglects to realize that their sewer hobo had run off. ]
no subject
He's, uh... he's not rabid, is he? Are you, Mr. Jorah? It's just, you're kinda foaming, and... can you hear us?
What about you, Mr. Sewer-Hobo? How are... oh.
[ They are officially -1 sewer hobo! ]