maskormenacelogs | a friend in need's a friend indeed

( And looking tragic.

She has a backpack with some clothes, and more importantly six giant grocery bags full of food. She could have driven, but the tragedy of owning a car that barely functioned was that it is not now functioning at all. Sarissa could just put down the bags, but she... does not, and instead, uses her knee to (gently, ish) knock on the door three times before taking a step back.

She's in scrappy jeans, a tank top with a dinosaur and brings with her an ambience of sleep deprivation and incapacitating depression. Inexplicably, she smiles when the door opens, even though she obviously doesn't feel it. )

Hey.

[ Elliot actually has a doorcam set up out of paranoia, so he sees her before she knocks, opens the door surprisingly quickly afterwards. He's short for a guy, too skinny, brown skin pallid and sallow with lack of sunshine, jaw sharp, clothes black, front teeth a little too big, his huge hooded blue eyes expressive but not as much as his clever, mobile mouth. ]

Hey.

[ He thumps the doorframe with the side of his fist once for no particular reason, his expression pretty unreadably empty, and then he remembers to smile back and does so, genuine around the eyes. Takes some of the grocery bags from her and carries them inside to the kitchen, assuming she can follow him and close the door behind her. ]

It's weird. How much you look like Cosima.

[ Muttered flat in his slow voice. Especially since she's not a clone or actually related to them. Anyway, despite having texted Sarissa more than nearly anyone else he might take a little time to get used to her. Or specifically the lack of dreads. But she probably doesn't want to talk about Cosima. I probably should have known better than to start there. Sarissa is cool, but she has a lot tangled up in having family that isn't really family. Then again, I'm still talking to my dead dad.

He's standing by the fridge, Mr Robot, or that's where Elliot imagines him to be. Arms folded. Annoyed that anyone is invading their sanctuary, let alone Sarissa, whose drama is meaningless in the scheme of things — but they've had that argument. Elliot ignores him. He won't do anything, not while they have a truce. ]

Am I supposed to eat all this?

[ It's a lot of food. More than this kitchen has seen since his last housemate moved out. ]

( The smile snags painfully at the corner of her mouther - barbed wire that's been cut with a high tension, so it springs back into a coil and catches anyone unlucky enough to be in its path on the way.

If she knew that he knows - that she isn't a clone, if that was on her list of things she might ever wonder about, when he is clearly adept with computers, when he and Darlene are both so clever - it might make things easier. Or maybe it'd make it all worse, knowing that someone else sees what she is doing to this family that she treasures and doesn't truly belong to, that while she's terrified of never seeing them once they leave this place she seems so intent on destroying what they have while they do still have each other.

She tries for her usual reflexive jokes. ) Yeah, I know. But she's still the hot one, okay? That's the story we all stick with, for the sake of world peace.

( Her voice is different from Cosima's, too. Lower and rougher, though part of that roughness comes from the abuse of bourbon and lack of sleep and everything else she's been through. "Lower" for a given value, of course; she's Australian, and the accent brings with it a wandering across octaves that is truly spectacular. Sometimes her tone hitches up a little at the end, the shape of her vowels are different.

It takes her a second to realise he said another thing she should reply to, even if he said it before she answered at all. ) Oh, uh. Not all at once?

[ Elliot agrees that Cosima is the hot one, if only because he is vey into the dreadlocks and glasses look, but he also doesn't want to give Sarissa the wrong idea since Cosima is really just a friend. A friendly acquaintance. Something weirdly normal — weirdly because she's not, none of this clone stuff is. But he won't hold that against any of them, or Sarissa either.

Anyway he looks at the groceries a little haplessly. ]

We might have to freeze some of it.

[ Or cook it and then freeze it. That's a thing people do, right? Freeze portions? He just, doesn't remember to eat food as often as he should so he goes through it slowly, but maybe that will be different while Sarissa stays with him.

Anyway. He starts unpacking them; nothing in the kitchen really has a place, it's all a bit cluttered and higgledy piggledy and the way he puts stuff in the cupboards or on the counter only really adds to that impression. ]

Thanks, though, [ He adds belatedly. ]

Probably.

( It gets a very slight smile out of her, that they might need to freeze it. She shrugs, apparently non-committal. ) We'll see, I guess.

( On another day she might groan dramatically at the tragic state of this kitchen, except her kitchen has been in such a state many times. Organisations usually came only at the behest of another, or when her mental health was sufficiently resilient to indulge her desire for things to be tidy. The worse she was, the more chaotic things became, until she was dwelling in sadness and empty pizza boxes. As it is, she just fishes out the things that need to go straight into the fridge or freezer, and makes a note that maybe some kitchen tetris will be necessary. )

Least I can do when you're letting me crash. ( Actually the least would probably be doing literally nothing but you know. )

It's no a big deal. I don't have any housemates any more.

[ He is literally the only person who hasn't moved out of assigned housing or gone home, but it's fine, he never really got to know those people and he likes having his own space, especially when it's so much bigger than his apartment back home. There are about four other furnished bedrooms going unused, plus his room which is now more a hardware workshop, and the pillow fort he sleeps in in the living room. When he sleeps. If he sleeps. ]

Make yourself at home, I guess.

[ An awkward shrug, an expansive gesture, but he means it. ]

Thanks.

( She will, which involves cooking, but maybe napping first. )

I don't know if I have housemates any more. Saroula and I were gonna move in together. ( But she made Sarah really mad. She hopes that the awkward hand gesture sufficiently communicates that, but she's got some doubts about her telepathic communication skills. ) And Mendel's with Tiger, while I'm all— scrambled. Mendel's my parrot. Tiger's my Cosima.

( Anyway, she's just pulling the vegetable drawer out of the fridge and staring into the abyss of it before reaching for some paper towel. ) How d'you feel about moussaka?

[ Elliot has been listening to this tale of woe and friendship drama fairly expressionlessly, though not without sympathy, but he brightens at the mention of moussaka. Sarissa is strange and dramatic and tells bad jokes but he doesn't have a lot of people in his life cooking ethnic food for him, and he likes it. Smile curves right, a soft hook. ]

Sounds good. Where'd you learn to cook?

( She smiles as well, an echo of Elliot's own.)

Eunike Michaelides culinary academy. My yia yia. It was our thing.

That's like, your parents' parent, right?

[ Like he could sort of assume grandma from context but hasn't actually heard the term before. ]

Were you guys close?

Maternal grandmother. I mean, yia yia doesn't mean maternal grandmother specifically, but that's who she is.

( Sarissa pauses for a moment, leaning against the counter. )

Yeah. Spent a lot of weekends at the farm with her. Taught me Greek, taught me cooking, made me dress up half decent and go to church. Gave me her engagement ring.

( She clacks her tongue bar against the back of her teeth for an exaggerated sort of tut at herself. ) She's a pretty great old lady. Hadn't spoken to her for a long while before coming here, but. ( An exhale that's stronger than normal, but doesn't quite fall into the territory of a sigh or a huff. ) Hows about you? Close to any of your grandparents?

No.

[ He's smiling a little hearing about it. ]

Don't really have any extended family. Dad's parent died before I was born, Mom's... were back in Egypt, I think?

[ So that's a depressing answer. He shrugs, folds his arms. ]

She sounds cool though. Except for the church thing.

That sucks. Or— well. ( She makes a face, and amends: ) It sucks if it bothers you.

( Family was complicated and messy. Her favourite family was the one she had here, and technically they weren't actually related. Fun times. )

Honestly, I think I was more into the church stuff than she was. I think she just went to... keep in touch with Greek stuff, y'know? Community and that.

It bothers me sometimes. But I don't know if I could have handled more shitty family than I already got, so it's probably for the best.

[ As for Church... he tends to keep his opinions on god to himself in case he pisses people off, so he finds a way to change the topic. ]

So you can pick any bedroom you want. There's like, four free. I dunno when the sheets were changed last so we should probably do that laundry like, now.

[ By we he means I since she's cooking. ]

Here bloody here. I'm— ( she frowns a little, rubbing the back of her neck as she pauses, so that she seems to hang awkwardly in how she holds herself, strange angles and caught midway in motion. )

If I had to give up seeing any other member of my family again, but be able to stay with my sisters? I'd do it in a heartbeat.

( Which makes the present situation of pissing them off more stupid, really, and she shrugs, as shakes her head a little and tries to remember how to move. )

Which one has the best view? Morning light? ( she's going for charmingly and playfully obnoxious, but maybe just manages to pass for "needs a nap, needs very much nap." )

[ Definitely that last thing. ]

Right now you look like you're going to try and fall asleep in my kitchen. Don't do that.

[ Come on, he's going to ty and find some linen that isn't now part of the lounge room topography, and then pick a room for her — but he gets stuck on step one and eventually just steers her (untouchingly) over to the blanket fort. ]

Here. Lie down for a while, okay.

I have heard that standard kitchen cabinets are very comfy, actually.

( The actually sounds more like akshully, run together with tiredness, and she rubs a hand over her eyes. Maybe defeat is wise. Maybe defeat is inevitable.

Normally - pre-death, sans-exhaustion - she'd have a good quip for this moment. Despite everything (herself included), there's still a very slight smile. )

You ever heard you're an attentive host?

( Oh my god she is so tired, she's just going to pull off her shoes before she crawls in. )

No.

[ It's not that he doesn't get it. He gets it. Tents made out of sheets, attentive. He doesn't give her the satisfaction of groaning though, just closes all the heavy curtains so the room falls dim. ]

I don't host much.

[ Admitted quietly, not sure she'll even hear him. Mostly the only people who stay at his place are the girls who he occasionally sleeps with, and he kicks them out the morning after. ]

I'll come wake you up in a couple of hours.

( She exhales a breath of laughter, though whether its amusement at her joke or acceptance that it really was that bad is debatable - both are accurate. She doesn't doesn't clarify, just sets down her second show with a quiet sound of relief and all but flops into the sleep fortification. )

You're doin' a good job so far.

( A nod, a sleepy salute, and she is pretty much out of it before she hits the pillow. Skills. )

I told Tiger I'd make her a cake, and then I never did.

( She's complaining, sort of, as she lays out ingredients for the third (third!!!) variety of pot-chocolate-peanut butter cheesecake she's about to attempt, inspecting the bowl again as her prior two efforts rest. Elliot has only just appeared for... whatever reason Elliot might have. Hibernation, plotting the downfall of evil empires, who knows. )

So I've made a couple variations and I really need you to taste test 'em for me.

[ Mostly when Elliot disappears he comes back and doesn't know where he's been, so. It's kind of cool to come back to someone else, though. When he had roommates he mostly retreated to his room and didn't talk to them, but Sarissa doesn't make him anxious like that, so he just wanders into the kitchen with Sudo's bowl and gets the can out of the fridge. The house smells like baking. It's nice.

He glances over at the little cheesecakes, and the corner of his mouth curls up. ]

Sure.

[ He doesn't sound like that is going to be a hardship. ]

Okay. Thanks.

( They're square cheesecakes, cut up like slices for inconspicuous taste testing and easy storage in tupperware for the freezer, because she doesn't really know that leaving Cosima with vast quantities of marijuana cake to consume when Clara can't have any and Bri definitely can't have any is wise. )

Um, I think she wanted... chocolate and peanut butter. So that's what that is, but I made a chocolate and raspberry one, too. And I'm making a uh, a mint one? In case those ones don't work. And mint seems... festive, or something.

( She seems calmer than before, but still faintly frazzled. ) I haven't really cooked with pot before, so, uh. Tread with caution?

[ Elliot blinks at that last bit, like, okay she is offering him a variety of edibles. And then he retroactively wrinkles his nose. ]

Choc-mint mary jane?

[ Gross. He isn't even against peppermint particularly. But he will at least pick up the peanut butter one because that sounds the least horrific. Sit up on the counter and break off pieces with his fingers to pop in his mouth. ]

You use weed butter?

[ He asks interestedly, since the texture feels smooth and cheesecakes. ]

Really? Sounds that bad?

( She looks slightly crestfallen, but not in a oh no I will never be happy again way, more just a crap, I need to brainstorm more way. ) This isn't really my area of expertise. If you have flavour suggestions, mate, I'm open to it.

( Sarissa is halfway to turning away and retrieving more cheese and Supplies from the fridge, when she turns back to Elliot. ) Butter, yeah. Bit in the crust, and a bit into the filling. I have another batch in the works with a different ratio, but, I want to get the balance and stuff right. Flavour, texture, all important, really hard to judge when you can't taste test.

( :c her life is hard )

I mean, I'll try it, but...

[ shrug. ]

I think vanilla might be nice.

[ Anyway he's just going to get a glass of water too so the flavors won't all mix together, like a true gourmet.

The peanut butter was first; he expected to like that the most but instead his mouth twists, nose wrinkling slightly. ]

Okay, I'm not into that. It tastes really... earthy.

[ Like dirt! He swirls some water through his mouth and tries the raspberry one. ]

Oh, hey, this is way better. The acidity cuts it a bit. Could probably do with being sweeter? Maybe? Crust is nice... I guess. I don't know much about that.

Vanilla. Vanilla, vanilla— ( Murmured to herself a few times over, before she sets her hand on some. ) Great. Maybe the sweetness of the vanilla and the um— sharpness, yeah? Counterbalance and crap.

( She is just going to quietly make notes and pop a post-it note reminder for herself of the feedback onto the tupperware container with the rest of the cheesecake in question in there. ) Might get Tiger to try some of these anyway. ( With a brief grin, Sarissa looks towards Elliot. ) Panel of judges, to make the ultimate weed-cake.

( A beat, and she huffs out a laugh. ) I feel like I should get you a novelty gourmet bib, or something.

[ Elliot keeps nibbling as she takes notes. The idea of a bib makes him grin, which is rare enough on Elliot that it's the equivalent of an actual L O L. ]

You can design one. I feel like you're probably good at dumb merchandise puns.

[ It's hard to say if that's a compliment or not.

Anyway, he's left the mint until last, but when he tries it he makes a surprised noise. ]

Okay, I was wrong,

[ He admits with a mouthful of chocmint cheesecake. ]

Hey. I'll have you know I'm great at dumb merchandise puns.

( And then, a slightly dramatised pause, as if only now she has realised that she corrected the wrong part of that sentence. Quelle horreur! Her mouth tugs into a grin, bolstered with a dash of self-aware amusement, and she leans over to inspect the mint chocolate. Earning an Elliot grin makes her feel good. She has accomplished something on this day. )

You know, I might settle for just putting "I was wrong" on your bib, to immortalise this moment. ( But she is jotting down a note on a post it, and putting that near the mint plate. )

So raspberry yes, mint yes... Y'know, I dunno if it's as much of a thing everywhere else, but there's these lollies in Australia that are "pineapple," ( with airquotes, yes ) dipped in chocolate. They're appetisingly called pineapple lumps, of all things. Anyways, seems like it'd fit with the fresh, sharp thing contrasting the chocolate trend, but I am not so sure that pineapple and chocolate would a good cheesecake make.

( she makes a face. The face is essentially #yikes. )

Pineapple and cream cheese is really great though,

[ Elliot points out, even if he's not totally certain about Pineapple Lumps. ]

Make a no-bake one.

[ Pineapple and cream cheese and chocolate and weed. Sounds both disgusting and amazing at the same time. ]

It's worth trying out, at least. Once you eat enough edibles everything tastes great anyway.

[ He absolutely still gets the munchies even when he's just eating the weed in the first place. ]

Maybe even weird Australian food.

Can't say I've ever tried it.

( It just raises so many questions. Does the acidity of the pineapple not make the cream cheese curdle, or do you just spread it on there? Are they blended together? Okay, maybe only the two questions, and she considers for a moment. )

Reckon it'd be okay to use canned pineapple? ( Because, I mean, she's writing the idea down. Apparently her own pickiness with regards to food is less strict when it comes to potentially hideous dessert experimentation.

And, still looking down at her piece of paper, she points to Elliot. ) Watch out, I reckon I could make a great vegemite and chocolate cheesecake. Just watch me.

Yeah, see, you only think that because your tastebuds are genetically wired to enjoy gross shit.

[ KANYESHRUG. He's not eating vegemite cheesecake. ]

Oi, yeah but nah. Salt and chocolate is a classic combo. ( And, she looks up, Appropriately Dramatically Haughty. ) And this, when your country invented Cheeze Whiz. That's a food for the self-loathing and broken hearted, I swear.

[ HOLD THE FRONT DOOR. ]

You don't have cheese whiz in Australia?

( The mental equivalent of really screechy train brakes. Sparks flying. Sad scraping noise. )

Pretty sure. We got some fucking nasty version of vegemite with cheese in it, but.

Cheese in the vegemite?

I've changed my mind, man. I don't know if I want to let you cook for me anymore, not when I'm in danger from your Australian tastebuds.

That's too bad, mate, because there's some meatballs resting in the fridge, and they are gonna blow your mind. They got cheese, too, but it's feta.

( She tilts her head, and shoots him a grin, even if it just lasts a second. ) It's bloody terrible though. Had a spoonful once because I thought it was the regular stuff. Almost as bad as bloody Promite, which far as I figure is like some nasty ripoff that people get— well, I guess it's the Australian emotional equivalent of cheeze whiz.

Here I thought the shitty version of vegemite was vegemite.

[ He isn't arguing very seriously though. Seriously how are their IRL conversations exactly the same as their stupid banter online? Just endless arguments neither of them are invested in winning. ]

Oi. Eat your cheesecake. I need a rating out of ten for each of these.

( She goes to the fridge, and pulls out a can of guinness, holding it up, an eyebrow raised at Elliot in a silent question of whether he'd like one. And, with a quick glance to the can, she smiles a little. ) Chocolate and guinness, heaps better than vegemite.

[ He's judging her a little for beer in a can, but also... Elliot has basically never said no to a mind altering substance and he isn't about to start, so he nods and accepts the drink, cracks it open with mild distaste. ]

Beer and edibles, pretty good if you can find the crossfade.

[ He agrees, which makes it obvious he maybe isn't in this for the taste of the foods. Still, he's a lot nicer when he's stoned, friendly to the point of almost normalcy, and he can feel the buzz starting to manifest in a low hum beneath the skin, behind his eye sockets. ]

Choc-mint is the winner. You might have to take it away from me.

[ Because the more stoned he is the better food tastes and the more stoned he's gonna get eating it. ]

( Sir, please, the cans were cheaper. Have mercy. )

And the crossfade will be found. Diligence, determination, some shit like that.

( Or by googling recipes, maybe that. Let other people's diligence etc have paid off. And Sarissa smiles - not a grin, but a bit more real than some of her more ridiculous smiles. )

Do you want me to take it away, or are you bein' polite? 'Cause I don't mind if you demolish this. I can make Tiger a new one.

a friend in need's a friend indeed

arriving.

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cheesecake.

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soRRY FOR MY SLOW BROSKI i did the thing of thinking of a reply, and forgetting to write it up :'|

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