I Wish I Had a Castle in the Sky ( OPEN )

[sidecars]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: All over America
WHEN: Nov. 14th-24th
WHAT: The Cosmic Cube is creating multiple realities for all the imPorts. Where are these "universes" coming from and who is wielding it? Are you strong enough to withstand the temptation of a new reality and thwart this misguided attempt at happiness?
WARNINGS: N/A

Hey, Davis! Did you move anything? I've got that Barnes kid's stuff logged. [ He has a digital tablet propped up on a clean, steel table full of plastic bags and baskets filled the different paraphernalia. It's rather reminiscent to an experience in the American security line at the airport. One such basket belongs to James Buchanan Barnes. ] Think something's missing. Says six item's logged, but only—Davis?

[ The man was right there a second ago, wasn't he? Looking around there's no signs John Davis had been there at all, except for in his memory. Shit, has he been talking to himself this whole time? Well, it isn't anything important. The string bean isn't going to miss one dumb little paperweight or whatever it was.

Little does he know just how powerful it is... ]


[ John spares no time or energy leaving Cap Canaveral. He doesn't even put up his cleaning cart before he's zipping through security at the blink of an eye. People've been calling him crazy for so long it's isolated him from the regular rhythm of society, but it's all been worth it for this chance. He will be a hero finally, just like the rest of the imPorts he idolizes. People will start to think twice about him and everyone else with powers. They will have the rights they need to protect this country and keep the Commies out.

This is the energy driving him to hold a dangerous item in his possession. He doesn't know a whole lot about it, only what he's gleaned from gossip rags and conspiracy theory websites. But it's worth the chance to find himself in prison, or worse. In the security of his lonely little apartment he holds the Cube in his hands as it pours out tremendous power. Without words it becomes in tune with his inner self and his wishes. It feeds off of it to create something more than itself. In his world imPorts will have just what they want, whatever it is, however contradictory.

But in truth, what good can come out of a thief too wrapped up in his own fantasies? That is no hero, and John cannot truly control the power he is playing with. As it feeds, the air around him turns hot—too hot to even breath. It's like the oxygen is burning up before it reaches his lungs. The world around him begins to fade as he holds on for dear life, but in the end his consciousness is snuffed out; a small sacrifice for a new world. ]

Comments

[pillz]

A fucking example.

[kavinsky has vanity for days about how fucking good his magic is. he needs but a pill. and he's produced objects even without, albeit with less control, less finesse, more possibility of shit going to hell in a monstrous hand basket.

but he's a thief, unlike other dreamers we won't mention. he needs a thing to steal. to copy. to improve upon, maybe.]

Give me what you got, nerd.

[inmyothertights]

[He thinks about this for a second.]

A sphere.

Or a box. Something with a lid, that we can put thing in. It needs to be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside [LIKE A TARDIS] - like a lot bigger. Space for an entire universe needs to fit in that box. I think if you can work with that, I can uh. Make it hold things. Suck the universes in? Generate a quantum field. Something. I'll make it work.

Would that be too hard?

[pillz]

[it sounds hard, but not impossible. kavinsky thinks he's seen that in a movie before, which is good; gives him something concrete to wrap his mind around.

he thinks about the last time he truly created. the dragon had been a thing of stark and otherworldly beauty. physically impossible, too, the smoke and teeth containing themselves, somehow, to a being made of raw and unadulterated hate. that was no more impossible. the only extra pressure, of course, is this time billy wants to save dozens, not kill one fucktard. the stakes seem ever so slightly different.

but then he thinks of sylar.]

Piece of cake, [he says, smiling suddenly.] You got somewhere to lie down?

[inmyothertights]

Yeah, come on back.

[He opens the door behind the desk - the door that a second ago wasn't there - and it leads into a tiny hallway with a couple of office rooms. One is Billy's office, and is full of The Weird Stuff, and one used to be Gansey's office, but is now a utilitarian little room with a cot. The cot is shockingly comfortable.]

Uh.

I mean it's not a google pod but sometimes I like to nap at work.

[pillz]

[kavinsky looks at the office space. one eyebrow creeps higher. ridiculous. what a fucking nerd, thinks the loser who had spent weeks sleeping in his car after he'd come back from the dead, covering the floor in burger wrappers and stray beer bottles.

he sits down on the cot and takes out a ziplock bag from his pocket. vibrantly colored pills clicking around inside. incidentally, christmas colors. he selects one, a red one, and washes it down with coffee. lies back.]

Just a box, [he repeats. his heavy eyelids begin to droop.]

[inmyothertights]

[He watches Kavinsky fall asleep. If there is one thing Billy knows about magic is that 98% of it is anticlimactic. Right as Kavinsky closes his eyes Billy remembers to say-]

Bigger on the inside!

[And then he sits back and waits. Actually he goes into the shop and cleans, sorts through some of the rare books he got in, does some small amount of work. Frets. Monitors this. Whatever this thing is.]

[pillz]

Gay, [is what kavinsky tries to say, as he fades out. but he fades too soon, crashing into the shallows of sleep and the churning tide of dreaming.

he spends awhile in there. long enough for billy to shift quite a few tomes and dust a few shelves, wipe the streaky opacity off the windows. his good work is not interrupted at any point, or at least not for one kavinsky. no noise from within the room, for better or worse. the shop doesn't fall into a vortex of seething void, in any case.

but presently, the door creaks open. in kavinsky's hand, he's carrying a cardboard box. the TROJAN logo runs brightly across one side, the subtitle, Pleasure Pick underneath it. the silhouette of a helmet with a ridge of a mane going over the roof of it. he looks slightly rumpled.]

Hey baby, [he says.]

[inmyothertights]

[Billy's eyebrows go up, but there's the box.]

Good morning, sweetheart.

[Actually this is pretty much what he expected, considering the person who created it. He looks at Kavinsky, and then the box, and then at Kavinsky again, and reaches a hand out in clear expectation. Please hand the box over.]

Have you always been able to do that?

[Meaning: or is this something that the porter gave you, because your magic is cool]

[pillz]

Since I was a li'l baby, [kavinsky says cheerfully. he bows slightly as he hands over the box, preening. showing off a little, basically. no real humility in it at all. the cardboard box is light in billy's hands, but sturdy enough by the feel of it; stronger certainly than the actual mass-produced cartons you'd get sex protection from.]

Take no secret meaning from this, [he advises, with a silly accent superimposed over his silly choice of words.] In real fucking, all the cool kids take their chances with AIDS.

[and with that, he laughs. boosts himself up to sit on the counter, swinging his feet. if billy isn't careful, he's going to have a pen stolen from by the cash register in a moment, and tossed into the box-- to vanish until it can be magically retrieved.]

[inmyothertights]

[Billy rolls his eyes a little, because for fuck's sake, Kavinsky, unsafe sex isn't actually cool. But whatever.

Billy looks at the box, then opens it and looks in the box, sticking his fingers in there. Okay. Hey this is actually-]

This is weird.

[Billy floats up so he's sitting cross-legged just in front of Kavinsky, and his telltale blue glow starts, forming bright patterns around him. Soon he's in the middle of a magical circle, bright and impossible to look away from. He holds the box out and his eyes start to glow, too.]

If I like. Pass out or something, wake me up right away.

[Because that means bad shit is going down.]

[pillz]

[kavinsky's eyebrows climb up his face again-- the easy delight of someone who likes flashy weird glowy fucked up dimensional havoc-wreaking magic. he nods his head, says,] Sure, [like it's just compliance.

and then he turns to put his back to the magician in the glowing ball, taking out his phone. he promptly puts the device into selfie mode, and takes a couple shots of himself, 'balancing' billy 'on his head,' holding him on a flattened hand. he moves the lens now and then in order to make sure the TROJAN box is right there. definitely images worth posting to instagram, while billy is occupied with saving the world.

or going down with some bad shit, either way.]

[inmyothertights]

[Meanwhile, Billy is doing some serious work here.

That serious work is starting to make the room glow like crazy, too, runes that Billy etched into the floor when he first got the place lighting up too in response. Those strange panels, like LCD lights, showing the universes appear in front of him, and he starts tucking things into the Trojan box. Oh, what's up coffee shop universe, how you doing??

If Kavinsky is into the bright glowy magic today is his day because everything surrounding Billy is bright and glowy and flashy as hell.

But the Trojan box is doing it's job, glowing steadily as Billy keeps pumping new universe into it.]

I don't know where the hell I'm going to put this thing.

[Not a problem. It'll vanish once the job is done, but Billy doesn't know that.]

[pillz]

[kavinsky doesn't know that either. he thumbs the shutter button on the camera phone. snap snap snap. the patterns whirl and spread and the condom box in billy's grasp looks

completely fucking hilarious. also extremely important. which is part of why it's so hilarious.] I could sell this to Trojan, [he says.] For advertisement. Oh holy shit. Does Trojan exist in this fucking universe? [a knot of consternation appears in his eyebrows.] Motherfucker. [this is obviously the primary most concerning issue of this moment in time.] I should've checked out local condom brands.

[which

yes

speaks very poorly for his actual sexual safety practices, since coming to this world.]

Kaplan. Kaplan. Do you know Photoshop?

[inmyothertights]

[Ding ding ding either Kavinsky is having unsafe sex in Billy's head, or he's not having sex at all (Billy's bet). But wisely, Billy says nothing to this regard. He just raises his eyebrows and settles back down on the counter and puts the box in front of him. It glows but only a little.]

Uh. Badly?

[Well, as well as anyone who maintains a website on superheroes knows it. Which is non-expert level. He can make pretty okay looking graphics? That's probably not what Kavinksy is looking for.]

I should probably lock that thing up, shouldn't I?

[And a pause.]

Also, congratulations, hero, you just helped save the world.

[pillz]

Don't fucking call me that, [kavinsky protests, but he's distracted. mostly by the box. he steps forward, looking at the box. he zooms in on it with his cameraphone. its hard to tell from the glare on the screen, but it seems like the device is able to pick up the light emitting gently from the artefact.

they're going to make so much money off condoms, assuming that other, more responsible people in the world do actually use them sometimes.] Hey open the top. Let's get a shot inside of all the world things. Use your power so they don't fucking-- fly out or some shit. [he clunks his elbows down on the counter, and positions his camera just so. his eyes are almost maniacally bright with interest.]

[inmyothertights]

[Billy's eyes glow a bit, and then he opens the box, shows Kavinsky the inside. Inside it looks huge, like a portal full of, well.

Full of universes, it's true.

Billy peeks in.]

Yeah, that's about right.

[Billy is starting to think, maybe this kind of thing can be used to port home. He wouldn't mind going home, after all.]

[pillz]

[it's fortunate billy doesn't say that out loud, probably. kavinsky would seize onto that idea with more fervor than is very healthy, considering what awaits him at home is a fiery death amid the screams of his sworn nemeses.

he's just thinking about condom ads. fame. how dirty funny this will be once he posts it on bluetube or whatever.]

I wonder how many people actually fucked in their miniverses, [he says.] Are you gonna figure out where the power comes from?

[inmyothertights]

I'm going to try.

[He looks down at the box in his hands and then back up at Kavinsky.]

If I succeed, well.

Who knows.

[pillz]

I guess no motherfucker knows, [kavinsky says,] but you kind of sound like you have an idea.

[he swivels the camera up to focus on billy's face. he'll edit this part out for bluetube.]

What's the fucking idea, Kaplan? You holding out on me?

[inmyothertights]

Keep pointing that camera in my face and I'll electrocute your hands.

[He says it genteely enough, not really a threat so much as a mild request. He's starting to speak Kavinsky's wolf-tongue.]

No ideas yet. Give me a few weeks and a look in a couple of the books.

[pillz]

Hmmmmmmm, [kavinsky says, merrily. he stops filming and watches the video process with a spinny icon. and then he thumbs over to examine his handiwork. the device can't quite capture all the delicate hues of blue in billy's power, but he thinks that just adds to its authenticity.]

You can have twenty percent of the proceeds when I sell this shit online.

[he straightens, moving away from the box of worlds. propping himself up on an elbow.] Open to negotiation, if you wanna sell your store instead of rubbers.

[inmyothertights]

Are you offering me ad space?

[Billy's eyebrows are nice and high. Although, the simple truth is that he would not be opposed to that. And then:]

Sell what? The condom box? You're not selling the condom box.

[pillz]

[kavinsky snorts. he bangs his heels on the counter with liberal abandon, unconcerned he might maybe break shit.] Not the box, [he says.] The video, man.

Pretty decent show of what you can do. You didn't notice? Motherfucker, you saved the world. Minimum, three cities in the United States.

[inmyothertights]

Oh.

[He looks down at the condom box.]

Well. I mean, probably. Yes. I probably did to that.

[Said with all the conviction of someone who has done this before.]

[pillz]

[it doesn't surprise kavinsky, honestly. it seems like the cities, the natives, the imports, they're always in some peril or other.]

You wanna get fucking famous for it? [he presses.] Take some fucking credit, man. [he waves his phone around pointedly. it's paused on an early frame of the video, billy suspended in the air and surrounded by a miniature aurora of his own power, luminous in the half-light of the shop. he looks ethereal. powerful.] Or not? Jesus.