maskormenacelogs | (CLOSED) I spend my night dancing with my own shadow

Daryl understood her worry. How could he not? He was connected to her more intimately than anything he could have ever experienced normally. Her thoughts were made his and his were made hers. They still had clear separation between feelings and opinions, but they were definitely influenced by each other. At this point, though, Daryl was finding it hard to be upset about it. Maybe that should have scared him more. But it didn't.

He came over as requested because he had no reason not to. That, and he felt far more complete when he was in the same room as her. Being away from Mako... the best description he could come up with was 'being out of sync'. He had to keep adjusting for the occasional mental info dumps that came his way. A particularly tasty sandwich here, a really interesting sight there, a spike of offense over someone being rude or joy at hearing a song that was being played hundreds of miles away and filtered through Mako's memories. She got the same, of course, on his end. So having her where they were within a few fee of each other and getting the same environmental feedback - her kind of words came naturally to his thoughts now - helped with the random disorientation.

She'd know he was in the elevator as soon as he stepped inside. The tea he couldn't see yet smelled nice. I used to drink alcohol about as often as you drink tea he sent ahead of his arrival at her door, the thought more of a joke than anything because he'd never drunk that much. Though he certainly had a penchant for drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. Gonna spoil me, you keep this up.

She did know and it made her smile as she turned a cup to match the others.

...that would be weird. Drinking alcohol while in a Drift. Whiskey was in the air for a second, a memory, maybe a half memory. There was a pause between thoughts as she laughed. She'd never drunk that much either. Mako's eyes were on the door that she hadn't locked, her hair sweeping her jawline as she rose.

You need more than a little spoiling. Where he came from, with the dead, with the whole of civilization shuffling along, the empty roads, the desperation, the hunger, a world where all you could do was survive, he and his family needed spoiling. And Mako would see to it one way or another.

That's how it's done.

"Who the HELL is Daryl Dixon?" had been Newt's first question (to an equally clueless Hermann) upon receiving the text. "And why is she Drifting with him?" Newt understood the testing of powers (did he ever) but the act of Drifting was intensely personal and his limited experience with it had assured him that he never would Drift with anyone he wasn't ready to share the entirety of his self with--and that list of persons would always be limited to one: Hermann.

They were to Mako's apartment just a few minutes later, after putting away their current projects and tidying up their tea.

"...So she's testing her powers," Newt was saying, loudly, as they came down the hall to Mako's door. It was perhaps a bit too loud, but then Newt was always a bit too loud and too shrill. "Look, I get what you're saying, but don't worry so much. You're not really one to talk, anyway, considering your own experiments in college, dude."

He interrupted Hermann mid-argument to continue.

"The guy's probably some ex-military goodie-two-shoes like Becket, so you're probably going to like him. Just knock already, would you?"

In earnest, that had been his first question as well- which may or may not have been his own thought or the impression of Newton's.

Concerning, to say the least.

"I didn't- excuse me, I wasn't drifting with anyone from my university," he countered through Newton's overriding interruption. Nevermind the technology had yet to be developed by then.

Hermann breathed an aggrieved huff and raised a hand to knock. He gave a few taps of his knuckles, then shifted in place, the butt of his cane twisting into the carpet.

Slightly quieter: "And you don't know any of that, thus the concern."

Edited (IM DONE I PROMISE SORRY) 2016-10-26 03:16 (UTC)

At the end of the hall, the elevator opened up and Daryl stepped out. He was cleaner than usual - meaning he took a shower before coming over - but he still wore his usual apparel. Dark shirt with the sleeves cut off under his black leather vest. Not tucked in so it hung loosely (and with many, many, many wrinkles) over dark jeans stained with motor oil and ripped at the knees. The bottom edges of them had random pieces of rope and, in one case, bungee cord wrapped around to keep them from tangling in the engine of his motorcycle. Mud-caked work boots, a few obvious knives, and a crossbow slung over his shoulder completed the 'look' since his hair was actually pretty decent. Soft and fluffy, hanging in the air just over his shoulders and around his ears like it had been air-dried and no more than finger-brushed a couple times.

He was largely unaware of the conversation. His perceptions of it limited to what Mako had heard and then filtered through the drift while he was distracted by her bringing up what he'd lived through prior to his arrival. He wasn't upset at her for it. He was just stuck in the moment, feelings bittersweet about whether he actually deserved the spoiling she wanted to give him and how hard that was for him to believe.

His focus was regained slightly as he looked around to orientate himself. Took a deep breath as he walked towards the couple he already knew but still needed to be introduced to. He might have been a ways off, but his strides were strong and purposeful and he was heading right toward them.

Mako rose and moved, opening the door, knowing Daryl was down the hall and coming. This was Drs. Gottlieb and Geizsler. Oddly, she could almost see them from the same distance at Daryl, just for a moment, just as the door opened wide to let them in. I don't lie, either, she nudged back at him as her eyes refocused and she tilted her head a fraction.

"I have tea on the coffee table, please," Mako said, gesturing. "Come in." She stayed at the door, though, her back up against it to keep it open, waiting for Daryl.

He wasn't paranoid--that was Hermann--but he knew a person who could beat his ass when he saw one, and when the man from the elevator (he reminded Newt of people Jo talked about...Dean or whatever) began clearly walking towards them, he might have taken a protective half-step in front of Hermann...

Or he would have, if Mako hadn't opened the door just then.

"Mako! Hi!" He tugged his fiance into the apartment. "You might want to close the--Ah." Oh. It was being HELD for grungy, redneck, crossbow-carrying elevator guy and that...that didn't bode well. Newt could feel Hermann's disdain prickling in his mind, see the way his nose turned up and lip curled at the sight of those mud-covered boots and torn jeans, and he exchanged a glance, brow raised. Well. Okay, then.

He didn't take her invitation for a seat, and instead, stood there readjusting his sleeves as though somehow showing off the tatts would make him more intimidating or something (instead of just a short, loud nerd with glasses) to her rough-looking Drift partner. If Newt felt sorry for the guy at all, it was only because he knew what first impressions with Hermann Gottlieb were like. That said, he didn't feel too sorry for Daryl.

They'd had this talk (of sorts) already, and yet it was still somewhat unbelievable for Newton to follow through on a protective impulse- like Hermann wasn't the better equipped to defend them. Arguably of course, Newton was much stronger, but not in this form, and certainly not trapped in a small apartment building's hallway.

He was more than happy to move inside and away from the sudden hostile stranger.. but dawning realization stole over their drift and this was?

Ex-military goodie-two-shoes this man was not. About their age at the very least, rugged and dangerous, his only redeeming quality being that it looked as though he'd showered somewhat recently, but even that was utterly ruined by the rest of his appearance.

Hermann's spine straightened, eyes narrowing and jaw set. Nevermind that he'd felt threatened barely a minute ago. This was the Marshal's daughter.

"Mr. Dixon, I presume?" If he played up his German accent to morph the man's name into something far less flattering, well he'd blame the childish impulse on Newton.

Edited 2016-10-26 04:41 (UTC)

Never said you did... It was just difficult to believe he was the one that needed those things when the rest of his family needed them so much more. But it was also something he knew he wouldn't be able to fight. Wasn't going to try with her.

"Daryl's fine," he confirmed the assumption with a nod as he pulled the crossbow off his shoulder and let it dangle from one hand by the strap. With the other, he reached out to touch Mako on her side where he could slip his hand behind her to the small of her back for a brief hello hug. It didn't last long because he didn't want to take up space standing in her doorway and crowding it like the other two.

What hope Daryl had for the meeting was very quickly dying inside. It was obvious they were on edge and he was the source. It hurt to recognize those signs. What he knew about them was all from the fond memories Mako had. He knew them and he knew they were good people. But they didn't know him and they didn't trust him. It was a bit of an emotional gut punch and it really shouldn't have been so unexpected. But one thing Daryl was pretty decent at was pretending he wasn't as affected by people being upset with him as he actually was. Not all the time, sure, but the two men... they didn't know the signs to watch for, so they wouldn't necessarily recognize them for what they were.

He played it as casually as he could, keeping his tone cordial and polite as he walked past them and into the living room. He toed his boots off just beyond the door so Mako had room to close it and then nodded at Newt with a, "Nice ink," after he was left in his socks. Lastly, he went off to set his crossbow down against a clear spot on a wall like it was always intended to rest there. He already knew where Mako intended for him to sit, but he figured with the guarddogs in full force, they'd probably re-arrange that between themselves. Better to let them do it. Might make them feel more at ease.

"Doctor Geiszler, Doctor Gottlieb," was all she could get out before everything went suddenly very south. The tone of Hermann's voice hit her hard and she looked down sharply, her lips pressed in a thin line.

Mako was instantly mortified at their reaction, mostly Hermann's. Mortified and extremely upset. Daryl's emotion gut punch was her own, too, and any happiness to see the two scientists was starting to ebb into regret. They knew from experience what the Drift was and knew it had already happened, was happening. They had already formed an opinion without hearing any details. It was like coming to a conclusion without studying any data.

Her expression was tight as Daryl hugged her briefly and she let go of the door.

"May please remind you," Mako said stiffly, "that you have not heard the least bit of information regarding this matter. If you cannot find it in yourselves to be polite to Daryl-san, you may leave and we will seek alternative help and opinions on the matter. I had hoped you would approach this as the scientists you are." Her lips thinned even more.

She was far enough away from the door that when she turned back to them and her wings exploded and flared, she was mostly clear of anything to disturb. Mako's wings weren't the only ones to flare, either. She could feel Daryl's materialize as well at the same moment.

"Thank you for your concern, but I have lost two fathers to the kaiju, I am not looking for replacements." Her voice was hoarse when she spoke again, but folded her wings to her back even if they refused to return. "Daryl-san," she said quietly, dipping a bow to him, "I apologize for the rudeness that has occurred in my home. Please sit. I will pour the tea."

She moved across the space to sit and pour tea for Daryl, offering the little cup to him with her fingertips, but she did not pour her own. Mako waited for her other guests to recover some sense of decorum and make their choice. If they could not accept Daryl, then they could not accept her.

This was the Drift in its complexity.

Edited (typo) 2016-10-26 23:41 (UTC)

Her tone reminded him of Pentecost--strong, scolding, and Newt held his tongue against immediate objections, but he couldn't hold it forever.

Newt stared, mouth agape, at the wings until finally he shook his head and recovered his senses. They were wings! She sprouted wings! That was fucking awesome! And Daryl...ok, his wings were ok, yeah, that's cool too. ...Why couldn't he and Hermann have any shared abilities like that?

Finally he closed the door.

Hurt as she was, Newt felt she was kind of out of line on insulting their ability to come at this as scientists. They could be suspect of Daryl and still provide insight on the Drift--they had always been assholes. It was kind of their M.O. Liking or hating the creatures they studied did not actually change their willingness to study them or their ability to approach the concepts themselves scientifically. Bias was a thing that happened.

Still, ok, maybe they were being jerks. They could apologize. They totally could do that...

"Mako, you know, you realize who you called, so if you're expecting politeness, I think you have the wrong guys. We've never been polite. WELL, maybe Hermann has, once, but me--come on. Remember Becket? The elevator?"

That wasn't the damage control he'd meant to do and Newt waved his hands, bouncing a little.

"What I'm trying to say is--this is weird! Okay? And you thrust a bunch of unknowns into a beaker under volatile circumstances and you have to be prepared for a possible explosion. That said, hey, Daryl, sorry for my fiance--" He glared at Hermann. "--He's an asshole."

It was a staunch defense and subsequent chastising he wasn't expecting. Feeling out of place in the presence of a threatening stranger and an odd display of abilities, it took several moments to recover himself.

He returned Newton's glare, feeling very much like this meeting was going to be less about solving any problems and more about easing tensions- the latter of which he wasn't terribly interested in. For one thing, it was sorely tempting to send that crossbow somewhere very far away, if not the man himself.

But either action would get them thrown out just as easily.

"My apologies, Miss Mori," he managed finally, still making no move to sit. "We were given to understand you were having trouble."

Mako defending him, drawing attention to his feelings, it made him both grateful and more uncomfortable. He was flustered, too, by his reaction to her anger. Their wings emerging at the same time didn't help either. Daryl pulled his back in with a loud snap, his hands balled into fists while his gaze focused on a spot on the wall. He was mad, but he didn't want to take that anger out on family. Even if they were the source, even if they didn't know he thought of them that way, he didn't want to hurt them.

He sucked in a deep breath and nodded at Mako's request. He moved across the space between them in slow, silent steps to carefully take the offered tea cup and sit down next to Mako. He crossed his legs and nodded toward the two. Then, finally, lifted his gaze to look Newton in the eyes while he said quite calmly and matter-of-factly, Southern drawl as thick as molasses, "Yer both assholes. If anyone here's gettin' hurt in this mess, it's me, and I'm fine. I ain't never done this shit before. My world ain't got nothin' like it, so I cain't help figure it out as well as you two. But what you need to know is'at the Drift's been goin' over a week, the neural handshake weren't initiated by machines, and we got no idea how ta end it if we decide we want to. Now shut the hell up, play nice, and have some goddamn tea."

Edited 2016-10-27 02:39 (UTC)

She remembered, she did. Neither one were polite in the best of circumstances, even if she wished they might be better behaved. Perhaps it was an unrealistic expectations after all, but she refused to let them get away without any defense. It was a terrible first impression, more so if she said nothing.

"Daryl-san has explained it well," Mako finally said, though it was tight and quiet as she poured two cups of tea for Hermann and Newt. "That is our issue." Calming herself was the best thing she could do and she did that by focusing on the way the iron tea cup felt as it heated in her palm, the weight of it as she offered it to Herman and held it steady. She dispelled the anger a moment later, leaving nothing but clarity and calm that she let wash through to Daryl. It was the closest she could get to physically curling up against him.

"Hermann," she murmured, "Please sit. Newt? This is a complex situation and I wish to," she lips thinned a little with the need to make her words right, "understand it as much as we are able. The alleyway was where it began in Maurita Falls, in the downtown area. I saw Onibaba and then I saw something that happened to Daryl." There weren't right words for it and she wouldn't elaborate, that was Daryl's memory, after all. "I might have taken his hand, but that is when we Drifted and haven't stopped. These are the facts."

Edited 2016-10-27 03:47 (UTC)

Play nice Daryl says, like they're fucking, goddamn children! Newt barely restrained his contempt at that--I have six fucking degrees, I don't need to be talked down to like this!--and mentally flipped off Daryl. Boo hoo, you son of a bitch. So, you're stuck accidentally drifting with a pretty, brilliant girl. Try having monsters in your head instead.

"Fiiiine."

At the risk of exacerbating their anger via the Drift, he placed a hand on Hermann's back, encouraging him to the couch. They could do this. They had faced down the PPDC officials who belittled K-Science's purpose when funds dwindled; they could definitely face down a punkass jerk who was Drifting with Mako.

A punkass guy who had to be anywhere from ten to twenty years older than her, holy crap.

He settled onto the couch with Hermann, let out a deep breath, fixed his glasses, and tried to tackle this like an adult. "Cool story, needs more details. So, okay, about your Drift." Should he mention his own Drift with Hermann or was Daryl unaware of that? Probably for the best to leave that undisclosed, since they were likely here under the guise of being nothing more than scientific consultants with pre-existing knowledge of the Drift. What Daryl didn't know about them, Daryl didn't NEED to know.

"Why were you in an alleyway in Maurita Falls and what was going on when it happened? Were you attacked? Exceptionally emotional? You say you might have taken his hand, was this before or after you saw his memory?" Physical contact enhanced his Drift with Hermann; it made emotions stronger and enabled them to chase the rabbit. Therefore, it wasn't entirely out of the question that something about Mako's powers or Daryl's might have made the Drift stronger upon contact and just not let it go since. "Have you had contact with any hallucinogens or seen that Crane guy lately?"

For the sake of not getting into a physical disagreement with Newton, Hermann allowed himself to be guided to sit. He set his cane aside and accepted the tea from Mako with a nod. Not to say he wasn't still rather offended or didn't still disapprove of everything Daryl seemed to represent.

Jaw tense, Hermann inwardly seethed. Newton railing inside their drift gave them a place to vent at least. Clothes, weapons, age, voice- those boots. Even the wings were still throwing him.

But he straightened up, cradling his tea, and attempted to focus.

"What are your abilities precisely, Miss Mori? I'm sure that's the cause in some form, and thus the key to reversing it."

Preferably sooner rather than later.

With Mako's calm helping him maintain his own, Daryl relaxed enough to put his own wings away. They unfurled behind him and as they stretched out, began to unravel. Like a thread had been pulled somewhere among the feathers and no matter how real they looked, they were only cloth masquerading as the real thing before they disappeared one by one into thin air. When it was done, he rolled his shoulders and no sign of the wings were left. Just him and his leather vest that had seen better days.

He set his cup down and shifted his seat so he could hand his cup to Mako. He'd pour for himself, but he knew the act of doing so helped her. And she needed that at the moment when she didn't feel she could physically touch him without there being problems.

"Mako were curious about an alleyway people was claiming were haunted. I was in town fer business. I saw 'er flyin' overhead and then land close enough to say hello," Daryl explained, keeping his accent thick and exaggerating his grammar deficit in his own show of pettiness. "When I went to, I saw 'er memory but didn't know what I were seein'. I ran in, tried to help and then..." and that's where Daryl had to pause. Had to take a deep breath, because it had not been easy to see all that again. "...then that's when my memories started. Mako reached out for me, took my hand, and I started chasing the R.A.B.I.T."

The point of contact made sense for when the neural handshake began, and Mako's encounters in the ally since made it clear that anyone could see anyone's deepest secrets and regrets, or a happy moment they kept close to their heart. But even with two sets of memories of the event inside his head, Daryl wasn't sure that's when it happened. The visions prior to that, taking over everything as they had, were still similar enough to the first time Mako had drifted with Raleigh that he wondered if it was triggered by proximity instead. And that taking her hand made the connection strong enough for him to drown both their memories as he had.

"Ain't talked to Crane in months and ain't never seen him in person, neither," Daryl added after a moment, since that was definitely important. "Thought his alternate world self was stuck here, anyway."

Edited 2016-10-27 13:56 (UTC)

Mako was silent long after she he stopped talking, focusing on the act of pouring tea into Daryl's cup as carefully as she could. As usual, Dr. Geiszler had a million questions, and Dr. Gottlieb had more as well. She turned to offer the filled cup to Daryl with her fingertips, her eyes meeting his for long enough to take comfort in the contact.

Doctor Geiszler's questions came first.

"Nothing was going on when I walked by, I just decided to land there," Mako said with a shrug. "I was not attacked. My memory was of Onibaba chasing me through Tokyo, of course that was emotional. Before, no. I believe I took his hand during his memory because it was something no one should have to go through alone. I wanted to help. I have not been in contact with whomever Crane is, nor have I been in contact with hallucinogens."

Her gaze turned to Dr. Gottlieb and she was silent for awhile longer.

"I know I can fly with the wings I have, I have armor as well, and before the alleyway, I had no idea I could Drift. The folder I was given initially listed nothing in depth, the folder I was given when I apparently disappeared for a day, also gave no indication. All that was listed was 'J-Tech and Wings'."

The part of Newt's brain that was Hermann twitched with annoyance at every grammatical error that had been well-trained out of his English--Newt, for his own part, wondered if this was what it was like talking to himself the first time, years ago, when they met. Dude, hella, like,.

Mako and Daryl, though. The shared looks, the prolonged silences, the touches. Were all Drift partners this hard to be in the room with? Were he and Hermann this terrible? This silent? This weird? Nah. He raised his hand from where his fingers had been drumming on Hermann's knee like it was his own somewhere during the discussion. Nah, never.

Newt took stock of the answers, considering them. No contact with Crane--okay, so it wasn't like the heightened emotions and Drift-hallucinations of their first Swear In. That had been a trip, but considering the way the drugs had stayed in Hermann's system (and Qubit's, and pretty much any attendee who didn't have powers to counteract that sort of thing) that could have explained the Drift-like symptoms.

It still could, really. If the alley was 'haunted' that wasn't unlike seeing things that weren't there. Qubit had seen dead teammates. Hermann (and Newt) had seen a Kaiju attack. He was pretty sure Captain Sexypants, aka Mr. Rogers, had seen fallen comrades as well.

He couldn't know for certain without testing the alleyway for any of the substance. But ruling that out...

J-Tech and Wings. Wings--well, that appeared to be what it said on the tin. J-Tech, though... Like mech repair? Like Qubit's power? Or some kind of LOCCENT command, like a power version of Tendo's job? That might give you a Drift...

"Crane's trouble regardless of what version's here. But anyway. What about you?" he addressed Daryl directly. "What are your powers? Aside from the wings. Anything that might create a neural bridge? Bolster powers or change mood? If she's got J-Tech powers, maybe that's enough to act as LOCCENT for a neural connection, but we can't rule out the possibility that your powers either enhanced or conflicted to cause the prolonged Drift."

He grinned, mostly at Hermann, as if to say I thought of it and you didn't, and waved his wrist where his power suppressor bracelet mingled with his leather bands.

"Speaking of powers, have either of you tried J-Tech's favorite answer: turning it off and turning it back on?"

Hermann threw an exasperated look at Newton, just managing to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"That may only be a temporary solution, but it's worth trying I suppose."

Setting his tea down, Hermann unlatched his power suppressor and leaned over to offer it to Mako.

"Put it on and press it down for several seconds. It'll suppress your abilities. Then do so again to reactivate them. If it doesn't work, there are a few other methods we can attempt, but this is the most straightforward."

He took the offered cup back, meeting Mako's eyes and forgetting himself for a moment. Long enough for a small smile to soften his features a moment as he pulled the cup back to him and held it the way Mako always did. Tea cups were her thing, he learned from her on them.

"I got wings, I can find people no matter where they are s'long as they're here and alive enough for the machines they inject us with to consider us alive," Daryl answered, his expression returning to a more neutral mask. "And I got something else that ain't got shit to do with Drifting. This's all probably part of the J-Tech powers she was given since we know the wings got hell all to do with it. We been trainin' too much with them the past two months for it to trigger now."

He paused to take a sip, and then clarified because he knew that would likely be questioned if he didn't. He shifted his seat and lifted his chin, eyes drifting back to Mako as that smile returned, "Been helpin' her with her flyin'."

The smile was completely erased at the suppressor being held out and his gaze focused on it like a hawk. Tension was immediately obvious in his body. They'd come to ask for help with figuring out how to work it, not to do a forced hard reboot like one would a computer. I blame you for me knowing what that means now.

"And how's that gonna help her if it happens again?" Daryl snapped, but kept his hands to himself. It was Mako's decision to try it first. "Just expect her to carry one of them around all the time? Should be able to learn to control-"

He cut off when the wheels in his head fully rotated and what it could do clicked into place. That could stop the virus powers they gave me.

He looked good with that smile, he really did and when it fell, there was a part of her that fell a little, too. She let him talk, to get it out, but she was just as wary about something that could shut off the Drift like that.

You're welcome? Mako said back at him with the tiniest of wry smiles. She didn't like it at all, but she took the bracelet anyway, like it was going to bite her. The same tension Daryl was experiencing was absolutely present. She didn't do anything with it yet, though, just stared at it as Daryl's thought came across.

I'll try it, just. Just to see. I don't like the idea of just...switching it off, though. It seems very extreme. But what was worth it, was switching his virus power off. You should try it as well. If it can stop the virus, it's well worth it to wear for you.

"Please explain what the potential risks might be," Mako finally said, though she remained highly uncomfortable with the bracelet dangling from her fingers. It took her a moment or two to finally examine it as gingerly as possible. "I assume it would inhibit all forms of power if pressed, which would mean I would effectively be reduced to my state before I entered this world, correct?"

"Listen. You--" He pointed at Daryl. "Control is great, but until you learn control, you'll want an off-switch. The Drift is exhausting. And, anyway, we're not giving you the bracelet. That's Hermann's and he is keeping it." He turned to his Drift Partner and reiterated firmly, no argument: "You're keeping it. She can borrow it. Temporarily. We'll eventually find a solution for this that doesn't require full shutdown of powers. But the text indicated you wanted help turning off the Drift you two initiated. And that's what a power suppressor will do. It will, like you said, turn off whatever powers you have thanks to the Porter. Mako will be normal-Mako from the Jaeger and Kaiju version of Earth. Since we didn't have powers BEFORE the Porter, I don't know its effects on anything pre-existing, but judging from non-humans I know...it will turn off everything and make you a plain ordinary human. So if Daryl were secretly an alien masquerading in a human-suit, he'd be just human Daryl once the suppressor is turned on." A slightly apologetic, more matter-of-fact, shrug. "...Not to say you're an alien, dude. That's just an example."

Awkwaaard.

"ANYWAY!" he continued, undaunted by another example of his frequent case of foot-in-mouth. "I'm hoping that turning your powers back ON after the suppressor won't re-initiate the Drift automatically, but that's something we kind of need to test to know. I can't tell you from experience since neither of us," the gesture indicated himself and Hermann, "have comparable powers. But hopefully OFF stays OFF and then you can figure out how to re-initiate the Drift again intentionally...with or without us. I mean that. I know a Drift is an insanely personal thing, so I mean. If you want to do that on your own, I get it. But we were called here to solve a problem. So this is the all-purpose shut-down problem-solved, so you can start again, clean slate, and try to figure out what variable actually caused the Drift--and from there, hopefully have a better idea how to turn it off.

"Sound fair?" And, partly as a peace offering and partly because Newt loved attention and showing off, he added, "If you want a demo of the power suppressor, I can show you how it works on my powers." His grin was slightly manic and overeager. "Assuming no one except Hermann is squeamish."

"Please don't ask him for a demonstration," Hermann advised, leaning back. "But yes, I did mention it was a temporary solution. The exact mechanics of the ability can be worked out when we know whether or not we need to factor in the possibility that you've established a permanent connection or not."

If the Drift didn't immediately return once Mako reactivated her powers, it was obviously temporary and just needed a bit of fine-tuning. If it did however, then they were neurally hardwired to some degree. For her sake, he hoped Mako didn't just accidentally initiate a permanent connection with one person for the rest of her stay there.

"Risks... Well that suppressor shuts down all abilities. I don't imagine you're at risk for much, Miss Mori, but obviously anyone dependent on their abilities to sustain them would experience adverse effects of losing them. Beyond that, it's just ordinary functioning on the typical human level."

Edited 2016-10-28 04:16 (UTC)

If I can turn mine on and off, I wouldn't have to eat like I do. Something he didn't like at all. But what if that turns off everything the porter done to me? Even the part where it keeps the virus from spreading? That was the biggest worry he had. If it was trade off between having to eat Alvin, Simon, and Theodore once a week and the virus spreading to the native population, then he'd be feasting on chipmunks for a long time to come.

Daryl nodded at Newt's explanation. If it was a matter of setting up experiments for triggering the Drift, then, yeah, that wouldn't be a terrible thing.

"It's not exhausting," she said quietly. "The Drift. Not this one."

It's your choice. Always. Even for a few minutes. She worried about it, too. Not worried about the virus, about her catching it because-- Well. She just didn't. But having it spread was a whole other matter. I'm not going anywhere, though.

She kept her eyes on Daryl as she put the bracelet on and took a breath before nodding to him. And she pushed the button. Immediately, the Drift was just gone and it hit hard like someone had punched her repeatedly in the gut. The disorientation was incredibly intense, the yawning gap that was left was only tempered by the physical awareness that Daryl was still there beside her. Mako forgot about the bracelet as she let out a sharp gasp and reeled.

It was too quiet.

So quiet. This was how it had been before, aside from the bits of Raleigh that had been in there from her Drifts with him. Another moment or so and her fingers found the bracelet again, pushed it, waited, and then took it off. She slid it vaguely in Hermann's direction as she tried to deal with...all of it. Mako didn't look up, but sat there without a word, shivering.

No Drift. It was just gone like it had been snapped. Like there was part of her still searching for it, but reaching out to nothing, getting nothing. It reminded her of Yancy, ripped away. Her cup hit the floor and rolled away and she watched it rock with wide eyes.

They would have warned about that--the pain of an empty Drift--but saying so would have implied speaking from experience. Without knowing for certain that Daryl was aware the two scientists were Drifting already, it was in their best interest to not go spreading that around. Because unlike Mako and Daryl's Drift (presumably), or the bonds between Miles, Gregor, and those that had sworn their allegiance to the Dendarii or the Barrayar ... Newt and Hermann had no out other than their suppressors. The bond would be easy enough to use against them, if someone so desired. The Drift was both a blessing and a curse.

The silence when he had been subjected to the Russian's suppressor had been so lonely: wanting, straining to hear Hermann's voice, his heartbeat, anything...and hearing nothing but his own ragged breath. He felt that again, for minutes, seconds, every time they activated the suppressors for his Kaiju transformation. It didn't really get easier, turning off the Drift. It was just necessary. The longer it was off, the more normal it became. But you never forgot. By the time he had reactivated his powers after the month off for his tattoo, it was such a relief to have Hermann back--it was like coming home.

It hurt to see her like this, so lost and alone. Sympathy wasn't Newt's strong suit, and that was Daryl's job anyway as Drift Partner, but he finally managed a quiet, "...Sorry. I know, it sucks. It really sucks. But just think of it as ...incentive for figuring out how to get him back in your head?"

Too intimate, as Newton had noted earlier. Seeing people in intimate or vulnerable states was all around discomforting. Guilt, empathy, along with the detached observation that even a Ranger with prior Drift experience, of coming in and out of it in a proper Jaeger, was this shaken up.

But then pilots were only connected for what- a handful of hours? And Mako and Daryl had been connected for a straight week or so. Perhaps the length of time had something to do with the jarring effect of a disrupted Drift. From what he could see however, they weren't connected once she'd reactivated her abilities.

Hermann leaned forward and retrieved the bracelet from Mako's fingers, then followed her gaze to the cup on the floor. In a blink of tiny white numbers, it disappeared, then reappeared upright on the table. It wasn't much; there was still a mess, but he leaned back and settled against Newton that their arms brushed. Reassurance.

"You're not alone, Miss Mori," he offered gently. "We're all still here."

They'd been Drifting ten days and Daryl had gotten beyond used to her being there. Just... there. In the back of his head and sometimes to the side, her thoughts coming in and out of focus as she went about her day and he went about his. Her presence and reassurance easing tensions and worries that usually lurked behind all his other thoughts whether he paid them mind or not. She'd become a part of him.

Wasn't coming out of the drift not supposed to hurt so much? Wasn't it supposed to be a gentle thing? An easing of fingers in a hand hold, not a sudden absence? Had it been the manner of the break that hurt so much and left him empty?

Her memories were there. He knew how she thought. He knew all that she'd shared with him right to the point the bracelet had been activated. And she was there physically, but she wasn't with him anymore and he found his head to be a very lonely place when it was suddenly just him again. The only memory he had of hers of anything close to just being cut off so harshly was actually Raleigh's, which had been far, far worse.

Daryl sat there looking dumbfounded as his eyes slid to her and then to the cup that fell. He didn't shiver as she did. He was simply still and stupefied. So much so that when he realized the cup had spilled tea across her floor it took a few seconds for him to process what he saw and react. He stood up quietly and moved to the kitchen to find a rag or paper towel to clean it up. He walked like he was half-dead and going through the motions while he tried to mentally compartmentalize his feelings of loss and push them where he didn't have to deal with them. She wasn't gone, after all. She was right there. Sitting physically not that far from him when it happened and when he returned with the cloth.

"Here, I got this," he murmured, stepping around her to kneel down and make a go at carefully cleaning the tea.

Their voices didn't quite register right, like everything was muffled as she sat there and watched Daryl move to clean the tea. Her training didn't cover being connected this long, it didn't cover the thick silence that had settled over her like she was being buried in snow. It didn't cover the cold or the strangeness of just being in her own head again, that horrible sense of isolation. She's been disconnected before, and maybe it was because it was a power, but it hadn't ever felt like this.

And Daryl was cleaning up the tea she'd spilled.

Mako was still trying to find him, still trying to connect over and over with mental tendrils that flailed uselessly.

Edited 2016-10-28 13:35 (UTC)

Hermann, I think I broke the Marshal's daughter...

He shifted, uneasy, and wanted to bolt. Emotions were difficult--he and Hermann still had to tiptoe through their own--and right now they were very much strangers in this realm of Mako's and Daryl's Drift connection. If it was awkward to watch someone Drift...that weird bond more intimate than inside jokes and unspoken thoughts...it was more so to watch them come to grips with not Drifting, like a funeral, where platitudes were pointless but were all the socially inept had.

"Empty, right?" he said, before backpedaling. "I mean, that's what they say it's like, when the Drift closes. Empty, like you're missing your other half. Or, I don't know, like saying goodbye before a long trip." Maybe. The latter was a more conventional Drift. Not this Porter Power and suppressor business they'd ended up in. Newt didn't have much to go on firsthand since neither of his own Drifts prior to this world were what one might consider normal, but he had read the Drift literature, Lightcap's findings, the reports from various pilots. Nothing beat firsthand experience, though.

"Was it instant, for both of you? Can you--either of you--sense the other or is it just a desire to reconnect? Can you confirm you're not experiencing any ghost-Drifting, any hints of a connection even now that it's been severed?" He should probably back off--he always plowed forward with little consideration of feelings, but there was science to be done. "Describe it." God, he hated that phrase after it left his mouth. It reminded him of every therapist he'd ever spoken to. How does it make you FEEL? Animals and specimen were so much easier for him than people.

It did seem a bit like it.

Daryl appeared to be the less affected of the two, by simple virtue of having the cognitive function to realize there was a mess and to fetch a towel in order to clean it while Mako stared at it, unresponsive.

"Newton," he scolded, because he didn't see a reason to force them into detailed description. But he shifted a bit, shared discomfort as he glanced back at the door.

"Well if you'd like, we can try experiments to re-establish and then properly disconnect at a later point.."

Daryl blinked slowly and turned his head to look over at Newt when the flood of questions came. He heard each one, but it took time to focus on them. His hand on the towel stopped moving. Doing both the cleaning and working through what he needed to answer was a bit much when all he really wanted was to just sit there for a while and let the world pass by while he buried the emotional strain away where it couldn't get to him no more.

"As soon as she turned it on," Daryl murmured, voice losing the overly-thick accent under the softer tone. "Everything stopped."

How did he feel? Empty. Lost. Words he wasn't going to say aloud.

He turned his head and looked up at Mako. She was staring down, at the spot he'd been cleaning. She looked so out of it. Like she couldn't find him. Just as lost as he was.

"Hey," he said, trying to get her attention. "I'm here." Daryl let go of the towel and reached out to put his hand over hers while he dropped his head to bump his forehead lightly against her shoulder, then let it rest there.

Talking. They were talking. Gieszler, Gottlieb. When didn't they talk, over and under and through each other, where the Marshal's voice would be telling them to shut up, one of them, both of them, like birds in a tree having a slap fight with their wings. She took a breath and it felt like Hong Kong harbor during a squall, like angry waves crashing hollow against the pier. Like the beat of helicopter blades in the rain, falling against her umbrella as she waited in silence.

And it was silence in the worst of ways, a crawling painful rush of absence, like she was disconnected from everything - herself, Daryl, the room, Gottlieb, Newt. Isolated. She felt Daryl take her hand, his forehead find her shoulder, and then her other hand came up , her fingertips settling lightly against the back of his neck.

It wasn't a reach this time, wasn't even a question, it was a rush of connection, bright and hard, winding across the neural space, roaring in her ears, her mind opening to fill the gap between them, to settle what was right into place again. Never again.

They were never switching off, not like that. Never like that. And the protest was incredibly loud in her head, so loud that there wasn't any other room for any other thought at all. But she didn't say a word.

All she could do was breathe.

Newt had turned his attention from Mako and Daryl to his own partner.

"Unless you can suddenly read minds, they're going to have to tell us something," he argued in tones that were quiet for Newt, but were by no means actually quiet. "With words, Hermann. People use those--I know, novel concept. There's a lot of non-verbal that goes on with Drift partners, even when they're not actively drifting. If you read some of the reports--"

His inhale before launching into further argument was followed by a silence and then, if he wasn't mistaken, punctuated by a breath. Two breaths? In synchronization? He had observed enough pilots engaging in a Drift to take an educated guess; had himself experienced something similar. Neural Handshake complete?

He exchanged a questioning look with Hermann. Did they...?

Hermann rose questioning brows.

Just from the way Mako's entire body relaxed, it seemed likely. So then, the Drift was at-will? Logically that meant the Drift could also be cancelled at will- much like Newton's Kaiju form. They should probably test it with more than Daryl if so. He was the likely candidate, given how Mako may react to finding out Newton has such a form. Of course, he'd really rather not..

"Are you able to reinitiate the Drift through contact then?"

Or perhaps they didn't, and Mako had only just settled back into herself and taken comfort from Daryl's proximity.

Daryl couldn't agree more with her silent defiance that permeated everything inside him like a roaring tsunami, flooding his senses. He didn't fight the wave that crashed into him from her, drowned him in it's need to be made whole again. He wanted it too. Too much pain and emptiness had come from the sudden disconnect. This was a wound healing. A little scarred, maybe, scared of being cut into again, but still whole. Daryl had enough of them to know and this felt like that.

He curled his fingers tightly around her hand and pulled his head back, lifted it. Breathing now synced with hers. He took another moment before nodding his answer. His voice rough, haggard, like he'd run a few miles, came out in between very deep, controlled breaths, "Yeah. We did... She did. I was just here."

Daryl brought his free hand up to hold her by the shoulder his head had just left, "I'm still here."

Edited 2016-10-30 01:59 (UTC)

So am I.

"I fixed it," Mako said, her voice drained, as rough as Daryl's, and entirely too raw. She swallowed and her fingers curled as tightly around his. Mako's vision swam for a moment before she blinked her eyes to clear her vision. That was all she could get out for a long while, just those three words, because she was making sure she hadn't hurt Daryl.

That was where her priority lie.

The Drift was tight, solid, ached a little. No that was her head, her jaw where she'd clenched her teeth, her knees against the floor. Mostly her head. Mostly. She must order her thoughts, she must be calm, controlled. Slowly, Mako straightened and opened her eyes as she raised her head to fix her gaze on the two scientists. It didn't quite focus and her usual sharpness wasn't there at all.

"System shock," she said flatly,her voice barely audible, "It feels so cold. There was nothing at all, limited sound, as if I were in ice water, falling away. The silence, there was too much, too dark." Mako turned her head and frowned a little as she watched a splash of red hit the wood floor.

"Oh," she murmured in confusion and half rose only sink right back down.

Edited (better icon~) 2016-10-30 04:36 (UTC)

Shit. "Out of the way, you--"

Suitable insult didn't come to mind, so Newt tried to bodily push Daryl out of the way so he could crouch at Mako's feet instead and, once his keys were tugged clear of his pocket and the penlight wrangled from the mess around the keyring, he flashed it up into her eyes. The telltale red of a subconjunctival hemorrhage...would it be there? Not that it mattered. That wasn't what he was checking for.

The pupillary light reflex. Neural overload this was without a doubt, but just so it wasn't brain stem death. He flashed the light into one eye, then the other, checking that they both constricted equally, at the same time, in response to light in either eye. Beyond that, there was little else he could offer short of the basics, because he was a doctor, but not THAT kind of doctor. At least she hadn't seized.

He held out a hand blindly behind himself for Hermann to hand him something--the handkerchief in his pocket. Hermann knew the drill.

Hermann sat up and rooted around in his pockets, searching for a moment, then- yes, there it was. He handed over his handkerchief and tried to peer at Mako from across the coffee table.

"Is she alright? Perhaps like many others, she suffers some repercussions for her abilities. But she's drifted with him before, so it shouldn't be terribly dangerous unless something about the connection went much differently this time. Forced, perhaps."

Daryl shifted his weight so he could slide behind Mako and support her while Newt moved in. Had Mako not been hurt, he'd have snapped back and told the man where he could stick it. But she was and he weren't no fool. The two were doctors and the only other people from Mako's world who had a chance of knowing what was going on or dealing with it.

"Weren't forced," he said, head coming up while he wrapped an arm under Mako's, holding her by the shoulder and making sure there was plenty of room for any other examination that needed to happen without letting go or letting her fall. With her back inside his head, things felt better again. He could think straighter with the shock breaking away. He'd always been decent at coming out of it when he had to, when someone else was in danger. And now he had her knowledge to draw on, as well as his own as he figured out how to relay what he was getting through her senses.

"Not the handshake. Might be a delay from breaking it with the suppressor. It was less than a minute between that and reestablishing it. Blood build up in the nose ain't always immediately visible. Her vision don't seem to be swimmin', but she can't focus, neither. Her mind is mostly clear. I can try to keep her awake 'til the episode passes."

Edited 2016-10-30 06:43 (UTC)

There were definitely a few broken blood vessels, but it wasn't as bad as anything they'd encountered back in their own universe. It would clear, eventually. Mako shifted slightly away from Dr. Geiszler and further back against Daryl before closing her eyes. Mako focused just on the Drift exclusively, examining it the way it flowed strong and sure, letting it repair itself for awhile longer, nudging it along until it felt right again. The connection became less like a raw wound as the moments passed and more like the vibrant connection it had been before.

The focus would come soon enough. Her lips moved after a few moments or so.

"It's not supposed," Mako murmured, trying to be as clear and pragmatic as possible, "to snap off. That's where it went wrong. I did what I needed to do, reestablish the Drift. To fix it. I could feel the shutdown starting. Like lights. Going off." Her lips pressed together and she worked on taking the next breath in, thinking about the data, mentally curling into the Drift with Daryl. Sharing the load, drawing strength from the Drift.

"I think that if it breaks," she continued with no small effort, "and stays broken..." Mako looked up at Daryl and let out a very soft noise. "Prices. Everything has a price."

Newt patted her on her knee and then pushed himself up.

"Keep an eye on her," he told Daryl, even though he knew that was already the plan. "If you need something, you can call us, and if you need medical attention, a hospital is your best option. If you two want to approach this again with our help at a later date, we'd be happy to help, but for now, I think you should leave the Drift intact and sort out how to disconnect at a later date."

Newt offered Hermann his hand to pull him off the couch. He was not a man who walked away from problems. He was a man who continued to butt against the problem until it gave way, until an answer presented itself. But that was usually at the cost of his sleep, his health, his reputation. It was not generally at the cost of anyone else. So he couldn't--wouldn't--try again today, not with Mako looking as she was.

"As consultants, we approached this from the angle of Drifts as we know them. What Mako is experiencing--as her power--is different than what my experience and research have given me background on. The Drifts I know disconnect either mechanically, or by desire to disestablish the bond, or..." The brief glance back at Hermann was almost telling. "They don't disconnect. In the latter two cases, the suppressors were a viable option for temporarily disabling the Drift, and that's why we suggested them. For all of these observed instances, the Drift reconnects without fanfare. However, powers are not scientific and they are not universal--they vary and as much as I'd like to help with this...this might have to be something you two will have to explore yourselves."

Hermann took his hand and hauled himself to his feet. It seemed they'd done more harm than good here, and Mako needed to rest. He fixed Daryl with a look, still inherently skeptical of the man, then softened a bit on Mako.

"An ability that works at will is usually also broken at will." That was how Newton's at-will ability worked anyway, and it was all around solid logic. "As Newton said, it seems the traditional methods of disconnection don't apply here, and it will be an experiment requiring your own willpower."

He had no idea what the two had so closely in common that they clung to one another, but he was far from an expert on human relationships.

"In the meantime, do contact us if you need anything."

"Okay," Daryl said, voice small and without any of the roughness. He was focused very inward already. On Mako. On making sense of what she was feeling so he could try and alleviate any problems that were within his ability to.

An idle thought of 'maybe the problem is we don't wanna disconnect' flitted in and out of his mind before he could latch onto it. It disappeared into the ether of worry and poorly-hid fear. Lost to him in the moment as he tried to find something else in Mako's experiences that might help him help her. The only thing that came to mind was how she was right after her first drift with Raleigh, when she'd chased the rabbit and was just mentally out of it for a while.

"Okay," he repeated, stronger and more sure as he nodded and shifted his hold on her to be more supportive. Where she could collapse against him if she needed to and he'd hold her up. "I will."

Mako let herself sink against Daryl without a thought, her murmured have a good evening and a softer thanks for their assistance floating out in a bid for a polite farewell. She caught Daryl's thought, though, and agreed. Neither of them had wanted to relinquish the Drift. It was too much like pulling on a warm sweater on a cold morning. Like now, even as exhausted as she was, there was nowhere she'd rather be.

They'd figure it out, though they now knew it was a different power than the sort of Drift the two scientists shared. Mako buried her face against Daryl's chest. There were consequences, too, and as terrible as those might be, at least they knew about them. She just needed time to recover in the safest spot she could have asked for in this universe.

(CLOSED) I spend my night dancing with my own shadow

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