siri siri where am i going (with my life)

[santouryuu]

WHO: Zoro and Kitty
WHERE: Streets of Maurtia Falls
WHEN: Nowwwish
WHAT: A pirate gets lost
WARNINGS: nnnnone expected


[Why did whoever designed this city put so many damn alleys in it?

Zoro could've sworn that his place with Luffy and Coby was just a few blocks across the way a moment ago, but now it looks even farther away than when he first started heading toward it, what the hell?

"There has to be a faster way to get there", famous last words for this poor pirate. It'd also help if he, uh, didn't stand out quite so much as he does, what with his bright green hair and three swords screaming "imPort", which makes locals entirely too interested in him...

...both of the savory and unsavory variety. So when he passes by the same building for the third time in a row, one particularly enterprising local business owner decides to try to con a quick buck by telling him that he doesn't permit loitering, and he's going to require Zoro to buy something if he's going to keep wandering around...something that starts to turn into quite the scene.]

--How many times do I gotta tell you, I don't have any money. I couldn't buy your crap if I wanted to, so get outta my face.

Comments

[rathercommon]

[ Oh. Well. Kitty, who is sitting in the form of a pigeon above both of their heads, is watching this scene with a mixture of amusement and worry. It's cute, she thinks, just how disoriented this guy is. How many times has she seen him pass by, now? But this guy, the shopkeep - he's a cheat, and he's mean, and she's quite sure than he'll take that threat as an excuse to escalate the situation.

So Kitty does what any responsible pigeon would do. She aims her butt over the awning and - with uncanny accuracy - shits on the shopkeeper's head.

The shopkeep is distracted at once from the scam he's trying to run on the poor guy, clapping a hand to his head and looking up and then rushing inside to the bathroom. Kitty, conquering hero that she is, takes the opportunity to do a gloating little strut - and then she flutters down to the ground in front of the guy.

Cheerfully, she says: ]

You know, you might end up getting into a fight if you say those sorts of things.

[santouryuu]

[That sure is a bird doing a victory dance. This would probably be weirder to him if Chopper wasn't already part of the crew. Having a talking reindeer as your ship's doctor tends to shift your perspective about things a bit.

He shrugs at what she says, though, smirking lightly.]

If he thinks he can take me on, good for him. I like a confident opponent. [That would at least make the fight with his time.]

...Still, thanks for the help, bird. That guy was really gettin' on my nerves.

[rathercommon]

[ Her voice is cheerful. ]

Happy to help. Especially if it avoids a fight.

[ The bird flutters her wings, then asks: ]

So, are you lost, or are you planning to rob this place?

[santouryuu]

[He actually sounds almost offended]

What the hell would I do something like that for?

[Maybe because you're a pirate and that's what pirates do, Zoro. Well, normal pirates, anyway.]

[rathercommon]

[ Wryly: ]

Why does anyone rob anything? To get things. Money, jewels, whatever.

[santouryuu]

[....omfg? Zoro barks out a laugh. ]

Point taken. No, I'm not here to rob anybody. I'm lookin' for the housing block.

[rathercommon]

Oh. Which housing block?

[santouryuu]

The...uh, Maurtia Falls one.

[....he is still in Maurtia Falls, right. Zoro sort of scowls at the nearest street sign as if in irritation at its defiance of his desire to get back to "his" house.]

You know where to find it, bird?

[rathercommon]

Sure. ImPort housing, right?

[ She flutters her wings slightly in preparation for take-off. ]

[santouryuu]

That's right.

[He peers down at the bird, as if waiting for its signal that it's ready to go so he can begin to follow it.]

...Say, you got an actual name or anything? [Chopper might be a reindeer that ate the Human Human fruit, but maybe talking birds is just a Thing where she's from.]

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty gives a little laugh of anticipation, looking forward to how he'll be displeased by this answer - ]

Kitty.

[ And then she takes off, flapping forward, flipping her tail in invitation. ]

[santouryuu]

[...welp! Zoro can't decide whether that's hilarious or the weirdest thing he's ever heard. He settles on a bark of a laugh, as he follows after the bird.]

Shit--you come up with that yourself?

[rathercommon]

[ With mild amusement: ]

The other kids on the schoolyard did, actually. And I helped them out.

[santouryuu]

...You're not a fulltime bird, are you.

[So...a shapeshifter? Kind of like that weird ballet guy, Mr. 2]

[rathercommon]

[ Pleased: ]

Nope. I'm a bird about - oh - twenty percent of the time, I'd say. Are you a fulltime human?

[santouryuu]

Sure am. So what d'you really look like, then?