maskormenacelogs | I'll fight if you want me to fight

WHO: Madam Smol Sneak (

stealwithit), Jacob Taylor Swift (

darpants_warmfeeling), and Dinobird McHipsdontlie (

calibrating). Special Guest Star: Commander Team Dad (

sassguard)
WHERE: Garrus’ apartment
WHEN: Towards the beginning of the month
WHAT: Kasumi and Jacob haven’t been talking and that really upsets the rest of the group.
WARNINGS: None! Maybe some language.

[Garrus treated every single mission, big or small, with a focused seriousness that tended to earn him a reputation of having a stick, or anything similar, up his bony butt.]

[This one is no different.]

[He’d taken care to prep his apartment as necessary, not that it took much. He was kind of (a lot of) a neat freak. It may be more accurate to say that he did his best to make it look homelier. More like a neutral zone. He stocked some human food—sans liquor, for once—and even put out a couple of snacks. Literally a couple. There’s a bag of chips and a half-empty carton of dollar store cookies.]

[He’s terrible at this.]

[In any case, Garrus knows that the invitations went out to both Kasumi and Jacob, and that Shepard would very much like to know how their little talk goes, so he lounges around on a couch and waits.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ So, hope you don't mind Kasumi teleporting into a random, shadowy corner in the living room, Garrus, because that's exactly how Kasumi makes her entrance. Why would she go in any other way?

She's terrible at this being a guest thing.

Kasumi, being so very innocent in all of this, is under some vague impression that this is all set-up to belatedly celebrate her birthday. Because Shepard had brought it up and then said to show up at Garrus' place at this time, and she trusts the Commander.

Except, of course, that the one time she should have been suspicious of an ulterior plan afoot, she isn't, but if the lack of anything festive-looking in Garrus' apartment (most notably, alcohol) is anything to go by, Kasumi is quickly questioning that apparently poor life choice to let Shepard get her into this.

Whatever this is, now.

Once she's fully out of the shadows and visible, she folds her arms and cants her head to one side. ]

...Either this is going to be the saddest birthday party ever, or there's something else going on.

[Meanwhile Jacob, tragically bereft of teleportation powers, is letting himself in through the unlocked front door like the unsuspecting chump he is. Shepard told him to expect beers at Garrus' place, and he has a six-pack under his arm accordingly.]

Garrus? Door was unlocked, so I just let myself in. Hope you're-

[The first thing he sees is the exceptionally modest snack assortment- if literally two snacks can be called an assortment (Garrus, learn how to host better please). Then he sees Garrus, and then he sees Kasumi. His face falls for a moment, then firms up as he puts the pieces together. He's going to get the Commander for this- somehow.]

Oh. So that's how it is.

[ANNNNNNNNNND now it's awkward.]

[Garrus offers one of his winning smiles (correction: it's more like second place) as he spreads his arms wide.]

Great! Party's all here.

Everyone take a seat.

[After a few seconds of silence, Garrus clears his throat and gives a half-hearted shrug.]

Uh... please.

[ It takes a lot for someone like Kasumi to get pissed. Like, you'd have to be a Grade A Butthole to get on her bad side, and she's got questionable morals, so that's pretty challenging.

With that said... Right now? She's a little miffed. She only hopes that Jacob doesn't think she had a hand in setting all of this up, because for once in her life she's completely innocent. Though she can't imagine his opinion of her can sink any lower than she thinks it already has. Her tone's got a bit more bite to it than probably anyone on the Normandy's used to hearing from the petite thief when she says, ]

I'm not sitting down until I get an explanation here, Vakarian.

[Jacob stays standing, pointedly folding his arms while looking at Garrus with Judgement. However awkward things are with Kasumi, they're not too awkward to keep him from supplying an explanation for her:]

Pretty sure this is a setup. Or maybe an intervention. The Commander made this happen to get us in the same room, didn't he?

It was at least half my idea, too. You guys could give me some credit.

[...]

[Yeah, probably not the best time for jokes.]

[Garrus sighs and gestures at the available furniture. At least he's got some comfortable chairs for you guys.]

Look, I know I'm in no place to be saying this, but c'mon.

Whatever it is you guys have going between you needs to be settled like we're adults.

... So you trick us both into meeting up. Like we're adults.

[ Okay just kidding she is soo miffed right now. There is probably a part of Kasumi's mind that's already working up fifty different ways to get back at Garrus and Shepard for this, even as they're standing around awkwardly.

Still, at length, she just sighs, and she turns her head toward Jacob with about as apologetic a look as she can manage with her hood on. ]

What do we do?

[Jacob doesn't hestitate to respond. Now that he's here, face-to-hood with Kasumi without any disasters to distract them, he realizes he's been doing that too much lately: hesitating. They should have done this months ago. He should have done this months ago.

Which doesn't change the fact that he is going to get Garrus and Shepard for this, of course.]

I want to play along. They put all this effort into making this happen. Let's see how it plays out.

[And he steps forward to take a seat in front of the pathetic snack spread. But he looks at Garrus instead of Kasumi.]

Okay, Garrus. You wanted us here, and we're here. Now what?

Now, uh...

[Garrus looks between the two of them. Honestly, he's not entirely sure what he expected. Maybe a couple of fists thrown around, but not at him. He's the good guy here! He's just trying to help! Why y'all gotta be so hostile?]

[...]

[Don't answer that.]

...let's begin with whatever started whatever's going on between you guys.

[ Truth is, Kasumi would never hurt a hair on Jacob's head. She's hurt him enough, in other ways.

Which is why she sort of just... crumples into silence, turning her head away and somehow finding a really interesting spot on Garrus' floor to fixate upon. Unsure of where to even begin. Well, no, that's a lie. She knows she should apologize for having lied to the man for so long, for being selfish, but...

It's kind of awkward when Garrus is there. But also, who is anyone kidding: Garrus specializes in awkward situations. ]

Alright, but... just remember, Vakarian, you signed on for this.

[ And still without being able to bring herself to actually look at Jacob, she presses on. ]

Look, Jacob. You-- you didn't deserve any of what I did to you. You were right about me. But I'm still sorry that it happened.

[Jacob's heart drops into his stomach. She is apologizing to him? It takes an effort of will to not interrupt her. Jacob bows his head for a moment before forcing himself to meet Kasumi's eyes.]

Kasmi... no. I was wrong. I'm sorry. The things I said to you weren't all right. I got mean when I shouldn't have. Not over something that... hasn't even happened yet.

[He pauses, takes a breath, forces his chest to expand past its tightness so he can keep talking clearly.]

I'm sorry about what 'Agent Taylor' did, too. The guy was a real asshole. And like it or not, I've got some of that in me.

[Okay, awesome. Looks like they're getting somewhere. Even if it's a little bit on the uncomfortable side, at least they're able to talk in a safe space.]

[Garrus is kind of an asshole, but he means well and isn't one to make any comments that would poke fun at the serious situation at hand. Goes with the whole safe space thing mentioned before. So he'll add his very brief two cents instead before allowing them to continue.]

To be fair, I think we've all got a little bit of that in us, whether or not we wanna admit it.

I'll fight if you want me to fight

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