And the year goes by so fast

[crapbearer]

WHO: Duncan and Max... alone.
WHERE: Heropa 035
WHEN: August 31
WHAT: With Tommy gone, they're on their own.
WARNINGS: none that apply. Loneliness?

---

Max didn't even bother knocking.

The past few months had been shit. Absolute shit. The Perestroika Seminar and everything after it had just been a ridiculous downhill spiral of awful peppered with a few bright glimmers of hope and now even some of those were gone, too.

He hadn't even gotten to know Tommy very well before he disappeared. Was that his fault? Maybe it was his fault. Max should have reached out more, hung out with him more, been a better friend because now that chance was gone forever. Like a lot of chances.

Max had lived in an empty house once, and he didn't want it to be empty again. He'd already lost Norman. Tommy had barely even been here at all. How long would Duncan stay?

Forever, if Max had his way. He barged right into Duncan's room, wordlessly making his way over to the young man and wrapping his arms around him in a tight, clingy hug. You know, just in case the porter decided to port him out right now or something.

Comments

[inchesofevil]

Not forever, he hoped. Duncan had shit to do back home, people he missed; his life was essentially on hold as long as he was here, and honestly it was starting to drive him toward a downward spiral of his own. Losing all his connections from back home, making connections here only to lose them again suddenly and without warning, sometimes it didn't even seem like it was worth the effort to keep trying. Like maybe he should just not bother anymore and withdraw from the world and hole up in his room like a hikikomori until whenever the Porter finally decided to send him back.

And it was this thought that Max interrupted, while Duncan was staring blankly at his laptop screen, trying to remember what it was he'd been about to type before his thoughts had sidetracked.

Blink.

"Um."

The only reason he wasn't immediately throwing off Max's arms was because he was simply too stunned to react.

[crapbearer]

Max had been... well, the last time he'd discussed people leaving, he'd said some things about Norman and he'd designed them to hurt. Looking back now, he felt awful about it.

Max had spent the past few months trying not to think of Norman, burying himself in work and Gold's shop and Doc and guitar and - and not a lot of Duncan, and honestly, Max didn't want to lose him, too.

Max pulled away, then, looking to Duncan with a tired, resigned sadness. "Sorry," he said simply. "I'm just glad to see you. It's... just us now, I think."

He'd been here almost a year. When his first roommates had moved out, he'd been fine with it - now, the thought of coming home to a house all his own terrified him.

[inchesofevil]

Duncan straightened up, instinctively pulling his arms and shoulders inward like he was trying to avoid touching someone in a crowd, his discomfort obvious even after Max had let him go.

He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated on the words, and Max got his explanation out first. 'It's just us now.' There was a lot to unpack in those four words, but the core takeaway was easy enough. "...Ah." Yeah. That explained it.

He kicked a foot against the inside of the desk, spinning his chair to face Max, bringing his hands down to his thighs and letting his shoulders relax a little. "Tommy's gone now, huh." Not really a question, just confirmation. He paused, trying to think of something he could say that would make it better somehow, and in the end he just gave up, shaking his head. "Shit man, I got nothing, I'm sorry."

[crapbearer]

"Don't be. What are we supposed to say when stuff like this happens?" He leaned on the corner of Duncan's desk, fixing his gaze to the ground. "It feels like this stuff should get easier with everyone who disappears, like we should get used to it. But it doesn't."

Max's tone was low, but even. There was no passion in his voice, no anger, just quiet resignation.

[inchesofevil]

"Trust me when I say that shit like this never actually gets easier." His experiences were very different, but carried a similar sense of loss with them.

"I mean, if you think about it, it should actually get harder, right?" He lifted a hand in a small gesture toward the outside world. "You make friends, you invest the time and effort into maintaining those relationships, and then they just...vanish. So you cling tighter to the ones you have left, and then they start vanishing too..."

He trailed off with a sigh that sounded much too heavy for his frame, leaning his elbow on the desk and his head against his hand. "I'm starting to wonder if I should even fucking bother anymore, honestly."

[crapbearer]

Max watched Duncan quietly for a moment, then offered a small smile. "Well, it's... not all bad. Even if it was for a little while, I got to see Norman again. And we have each other now, right?"

Right now, if Duncan was giving up on reaching out to others, maybe it was best for Max to put his own issues to the side for now.